Charity

Good for you! 4 isn't too young - you just have to gear the charity to her mindset and comprehension level.

Watch the local paper as well as the Boston Globe for charity needs. You can also contact your town's office of Family & Children's Services (whatever they call it) and ask for info on what their client families need or for a referral to other agencies. You could also check with the police department - they may be able to give you info on needs in local agencies. Just don't call 911 - use the business line or walk in. Also, librarians can be a huge source of information.

Your town probably has a food pantry - that's a good place to start as children understand food. It's a great way to introduce the idea of healthy choices too - pantries don't need donations of candy bars or sugary cereal, they need peanut butter and tuna and even fresh produce (check on their schedule and find out the best time to stop in, then shop the day before). It's great to have your child go through the cabinets with you and choose something to donate - not just stuff she doesn't like or that's expired, but things she DOES like. That's true giving. If she can go with you to the pantry (ideally NOT when clients are there - they deserve privacy and confidentiality), she can see the shelves of food. Explain to her that the people who come do not have to pay the way you pay at the grocery store.

I would discourage you from just having her throw money into the Salvation Army buckets - it's your money anyway, and it doesn't give her a sense of where the money goes. She'll think it's to the guy in the Santa hat, and it doesn't give her any picture of what happens. If she has any money herself, she can give it on occasion - I'm just saying it's not enough to really show where charity goes to.

Another thing you can do is check with your senior center or local nursing home - a lot of older people enjoy young children, especially if they live far from their own grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Your daughter could go there and color some window decorations to hang up in the community room or dining area, or make a paper chain with the residents to hang at the reception desk - call and check with the activities director on what would be helpful or appropriate. They may have things around Christmas time, but the long winter can be pretty bare and lonely for people who cannot get out. Paper snowflakes or any other crafty thing she's capable of would be fine, and a lot of the residents are able to work with her to create something jointly.

Sometimes agencies have a "toy pantry" and "clothing pantry" along with their food pantry. I know of an agency in Worcester that does this - it's far for you, but maybe there's something else local to you. I took my son in there and the staff were great at showing him the room of clothing, toys and household items (pots, pans, dish drainers, you name it) that people need when setting up households. In particular, agencies that service the Latino or the African community are often in need of winter items since many of their clients come from warmer climates and are not equipped with winter clothing. Having your daughter sort through her outgrown clothing (only in good condition) and her toys/games/books is a great way to have her develop a concept of sharing. Every time she says "I wish I had...." see if you can get her to suggest something she already has that she would give up. You might see if she can take something in once a month or even every 2 months, and find out if you can just drop in or if you should schedule an appointment. See if you can set up an area in your home (basement, closet?) where things go that are in good condition and ready to be donated.

As your daughter gets older, you can branch out into other forms of charity.

One thing we did with our son was to get him a divided bank - when he received money for anything (allowance, gifts, even earning money walking neighbors' dogs and so on), he divided it. 70% went to him, 20% went into savings, and 10% went to charity. As the charity money accumulated, we worked together to choose what to do with it. Sometimes we bought something to donate, sometimes we gave cash to an agency. He got to choose where to donate, but not whether to donate at all.

I also think it's important that kids get in the habit of donating all year round, not just at Christmas. Food pantries do reasonably well September-December, but they are really lean in the summer months as people are in vacation mode, schools and Scouts aren't in session so no drives are going on, and so on. Also, low-income children in school lunch programs are not in school, and they go hungry. People think about coats and mittens in the winter, but not about clothing in other seasons. Donating old Halloween costumes in September is a great service too. Checking out spring and summer yard sales for inexpensive items of use to needy families is a great idea too - once you get connected with a local agency and know their needs, you can make some excellent informed choices.

We found that, if we made a habit of donating things with our son, it became part of his thinking and it was no longer something we had to ram down his throat.

Good luck!

No age is too young. We live in New England where the weather is so changeable that we frequently go through our toys and clothes with the girls to donate to people who have lost their homes in natural disasters. The girls (6, 9, and 11) now automatically ask to go through their things when they hear about disasters after tornadoes and hurricanes and other disasters.

We go through our pantry regularly and fill a bag with non-perishables to bring to our food bank, and it's extra-convenient that it's a mile down the road. The girls donate brand new toys that they've picked out for toy drives too.

They enjoy doing it all and they feel good knowing that they're helping someone in a real way. We might not be able t donate money but we give in a way that we can and the girls can see. We've just always done this since babyhood so it's second nature for them.

I don't think it's too young to start teaching her and showing her ways to help others. One thing I did with my girls early on was picking a tag off a tree and going out and buying a gift. I always chose a tag that was very close to the age of my children. I would also have them put change into the Salvation Army buckets and pick items from the pantry to donate. Explain to her way you do these things. There's a good chance at this age that she will not understand, but it's a good time to start.

Note: There really aren't any facilities that you can actually volunteer with a child that young due to liability issues. You can donate items, you can pick up trash in your neighborhood or at the park, you can make cards to send to soilders overseas or veternan's in hospitals, you can shovel out a fire hydrant in the winter, you can help an elderly neighbor with some yard work.

You've received a lot of good suggestions. I just wanted to mention something that my local food shelf accepts that I think your daughter would enjoy helping with. Our food shelf accepts "birthday boxes". Basically, you take a shoe box (or similarly sized box) and inside it you put a box of cake mix, a tub of frosting, some candles, some cake decorations and whatever else you think would make a nice party, such as streamers, balloons or maybe some little party favors. You donate the box and then when someone comes in, they can get everything they need for their child's next birthday in one shot! Your daughter could pick out the items and also decorate the outside of the box. Contact your local food shelf and see if they'd be open to accepting something like that. I also agree with the suggestion to donate to the food shelf at non-holiday times of year. I know about a month after Christmas they tend to be low because people have donated right before Christmas and don't want to again so soon. Also, summer is big as another poster mentioned due to the lack of school lunches. Good luck in finding something that fits you guys. You're a great mom to want to help others and also teach such a valuable lesson to your daughter! :)

I don't think it is ever too early to start having your child donate things, even though it may go over her head for awhile. I know my mom was big into volunteering when I was a kid. Even though I didn't appreciate the definition of volunteering as a young child, I think it became a way of life for me. Does that make sense?

If donating food, you might want to have your children pick out foods they like and say "wouldn't it be nice to give <insert food> to another little girl or boy who might not be lucky enough to have this?" My oldest is a pretty picky eater, but she was excited about giving cereal and applesauce.

My daughter's Daisy troop (age 5-6) made cat nip toys for a local humane society last year. They seemed to like this type of volunteering. I think comprehending that some people don't have food/clothes/roof over their heads is a bit harder for young kids to understand.

I'm hoping you get some good responses to this b/c I'm always looking for good places to volunteer with children!