Challenges Eating in Restaurants with 15 Mo. Old

I'm in the same situation as you. I have accepted this as another developmental stage that my son will outgrow with time. For now eating out with toddler in tow has been put on hold and I am just trying to appreciate the money that is saved. As all of us first time parents are learning nothing lasts forever...

I agree with all of the other responders who said this is just a phase. You'll have to either go to totally kid-friendly places or else eat out less often for awhile. Don't fight it, though. Whether you "train" him or not, he will move through the phase and in another 9 months or less it will be much easier.

Definitely a phase. This is the period to get a sitter so that you can go out--it feels shockingly adult to go out! (We went to Benihana the first time and were positively giddy.)

On the booth bench between us works better than a highchair, and often we let her stand (keeps her hands busy w/balance and she can't do as much damage).

More restaurant suggestions: diners are more tolerant environments (like the one in the Lloyd Center food court, the Blue Moon out in Hillsboro, etc.)

Also on the inner west side, near St. Vincent hospital, is a cool place called Grandma Leeth's. They have great scratch cooking and don't even serve soda pop. They have a supervised dining & art play area for the kiddies, so if you can't get a sitter just pay them instead, and you'll be right there if needed.

I don't think it's a training issue that must be fixed right now or you'll suffer forever. It will straighten out over the next year. A lot of parents have reflected that in hindsight, their kids might have felt too separated from the action when in a high chair; ours at 21 months started requesting to sit in a "big chair".

My son is nearly 15 months as well. We used to have that problem. And to a degree still. We have stopped putting him in the highchair and put him in the booth with one of us. It has really helped a lot. I also don't care for him to be right out in the open in the highchair... makes me feel like he is too far away and not apart of the family dinner. We didn't use to give him the fork to play with... but today we let him and he was so entertained that he eat things that he wouldn't normally because we put it on the fork for him. We don't do the booster seat because it is too wiggly for him yet. We went to Marie Calendars and it seemed to work out great. It is a stage and he WILL get out of this funk. But every thing is still so new yet and he just wants to learn as much as he can.. food isn't as fun as learning for him at this point! Hang in there darling.. it will be different in about 3 months! :)

I'd go to kid friendly places to eat. I think it's a stage and will pass. Although I do agree with trying to 'train' him to stay put but I would not make a huge issue of it or it will make going out a bummer.

Have you tried restaurants that have play areas for kids? I don't know any that are in your part of the world but we've found a three in inner NE. Two of those have seating right next to the open kids' area, or at least did a few years ago. When we arrived during slow hours we could watch and even interact with my granddaughter at the same time we were eating.

I've also eaten at a couple of quieter places where I could go where my granddaughter could stay in her stroller. My idea for why this worked is that she was used to being in her stroller, eating from the tray, playing with her toys that were attached to the stroller.

If your toddler will stay seated in the high chair and only whines I'd try completely ignoring the whining. Give him something to do but if he knocks it off the table still ignore him. If his whining escalates pick him up, take him to a quiet place, calm him but don't play with him. Go back to the table and keep repeating this until he understands that he'll be taken away from the action if he acts out. Or try taking him to the car, put him in his car seat which will keep him confined. Ignore him as much as possible so that he learns that crying and screaming doesn't get him what he wants. Soothe him on the way out by talking calmly about why you're doing this, etc.

I've not tried or seen this done but I've read about doing this sort of thing and the success that the parents have had. I also don't remember the age of the toddler or if it was a preschooler.

My daughter and I still pick up carry out so that her kids can still be active away from us but still visible (when they were younger) and we could eat and talk at the table. It doesn't have the social stimulation that a restaurant gives us but we still get to eat the good food that we haven't prepared and don't have to wash dishes. Several of the more upscale, ie; not take out per se, now have a parking spot right by the door or even a drive thru for take out orders.

Practice, practice, practice. Dining out was just as you described when our little ones were that age. It gets better!

I can't remember when we hit this stage but it's rough. We tried eating at 4:30 in case 5 or 5:30 was too close to bedtime (7:30 but you know the witching hour) and that didn't work so we switched to lunch and it works great. It's not the same as dinner but we still get to eat out and take our daughter, exposing her to the experience and practice and eventually, we'll be able to go out to dinner again (without a babysitter).

If lunch works for you, some suggestions that might make up for skipping dinners out:
*The Heathman (they even put paper down under the highchair)
*Serratto (the owners have kids and every wait person we've had contact with has been Terrific)
*Jake's Famous
*Wildwood
*Bluehour for brunch on weekends

All of the above are in Portland proper and aren't cheap but you can go out to a fancy lunch more often than you can a fancy dinner ($) and it really has made a difference in our toddler's behavior.

Very simply, don't go out while he acts like this. He will grow out of this stage and then you may enjoy it again when he's a little older. It doesn't take long for these phases to move on. There was about 3 years we didn't go out because we had 3 children all back to back and it just got too much!
Is it really worth the stress?

Oh, it's a phase. Because I am one, I will say...gotta love the sisterly advice. Meant to be helpful, but sometimes oh so irritating.

You will go out again, no worries. Just be firm and consistent with having him sit - even at home. Why not start at some low key places where you're not so paranoid about fussing. Have you ever been to Laurelwood Pub? While it's a little drive into Portland from Tigard, it is a pub with home crafted brews for thirty-somethings and their kids. It has little play tables when the kid gets fussy as well.

This will pass in time. Our girl did the same thing and it was a phaze. We simply did not eat out with her for a period of six months. When we did eat otu we made sure to bring snacks, toys, games, coloring crayons.......Best of luck.

S.

I have found that going to kid freindly restaurants really helps as well.

Chevys Fresh Mex is probabaly the very best with children.

Margie,
Once we had kids, we stopped eating out. I feel that it's absurd to expect a small child to act like an adult in a restaurant. Also it's annoying and disruptive to other patrons trying to have a quiet night out.
Our children are 5 & 7. We have only taken them out to a restaurant three times and that was enough. Now, if we want to go out, we find a family member to watch them, or we just don't go.
This year we went on our first camping trip as a family. It was difficult, but we managed. I can't imagine going with small children and infants.
Think about going to kid friendly places if you do go out and save the stress of you and your husband taking turns eating.
Best of luck.
When I think about the restaurant situation

This is just such as tough age--walking to about 4 years old-- for restaurants. When it gets better it seems like a small miracle. But in the meantime, there are a few restaurants that have play areas (no don't cringe, I'm not suggesting something super-sized with fries). In the SE PDX: Laurel Wood Public House & Brewery, Old Wives Tales, and Hopworks Urban Brewery. Also, maybe the Rogue brew pub up on Flanders. Call ahead to reserve a table near the kids area (and make sure they haven't dismantled it in favor of more tables).

Sounds like a 15 month old to me! His behavior is totally appropriate for his age. It just sucks. You're now in the phase where if you want to go out to eat and enjoy it you're going to have to get a babysitter. You can start working on appropriate restaurant behavior, but don't expect to get anywhere with that for quite a while. When I imagine you forcing him to stay in the high chair I just see that leading to a screaming tantrum forcing you to leave the restaurant and NOBODY wants that. So it's eat at home, eat take-out, have an un-relaxing meal out or find a babysitter. Can that sister babysit for you? :)