I need a little help here. I just transitioned my 13 month old from the infant car seat to a britax marathon. I have decided to keep my daughter facing backwards, per the new safety guidelines which my pediatrician supports. Here is my issue: With the car seat facing backwards I cannot reach her if need be. She does not like the car and cries/screams frequently. I give her a pacifier while I am driving but she frequently spits it out and I am therefore regularily reaching back to give her another one. I can not do reach her in the new car seat when she is facing backwards. If I clip the paci to her, she manages to pull it off. I have started putting a few in the seat w/her as well. I also find it more difficult to see out the side of the car b/c the car seat is so tall. I have not yet tried the car seat in the middle. Not sure it will fit next to my son's and it would also be much more difficult to get her in the actually seat.
Am I the only one stressing over this. Even if I did not have the crying/paci situation, I know that I would still feel uncomfortable that I can't see my daughter at all while I am driving. The mirror, I find to be very distracting.Is there some solution I have not yet thought of. What have others done since the new recommendations were announced last month?
Thank you all for your insightful comments. Great Advice. The thing that is bothering me the most about the car seat is that it is partially blocking my view out the side windows b/c carseat is so tall. The paci issue is a pain and although I hate to hear my DD cry, I know she is safe. When I do longer drives my 5 yo son is usually in the car and can pass a paci to her. Does anyone else have this issue with the marathaon in their car?
Thanks again for your comments.
Have you tried giving her a sippy cup of milk and/or a favorite toy? My daughter usually falls asleep, but when she doesn't she's pretty content with a sippy cup and a toy and/or book to look at. I love having the mirror so even if she is fussing I can see that she really is okay!
I should add that my daughter is 13 months old and we have decided to keep her rear facing..you gotta do what you are comfortable!
Good luck!
I think these recommendations are flat out stupid. First of all I think some child will choke to death because they can't be seen. Be it a penny the mom didn't know they had, food the mom gave them, a toy that breaks apart, it'll happen and be in the news.
I don't believe you should be reaching back to give back a pacifier no matter what. That sounds like an accident waiting to happen.
Look up "internal decapitation" if you're not convinced that rear-facing is any safer for toddlers. Trust me, it's far worse than glass in the face. And it's not "personal preference," it's physics.
A 13 month old will figure out how not to ditch her pacifier after a few episodes of not having it for a car ride. I found it helpful to have a couple of cool battery-operated toys with lights and sounds that we reserved just for car rides. It kept my guys occupied well.
My son is 13 months as well, and I turned him around front facing. He was so uncomfortable turned rear facing, and he screamed and hated being rear facing. It was miserable, for both of us. It was terrible and I hated that I couldnt see him either, I had a mirror but it didnt work right. Now that he is front facing I can peak back at him and make a funny face at him and he loves that. I know the recomendations are for 2 years old now, but to me that is unreasonable. I know saftey is first, but to me him being front facing is safe. Everyone needs to make their own decisons and do what they think is best for them, and for us that was the best decsion and we are happy family in the car now.
I know the longer time rear facing is a pain. My first one the recommendation was 1 year and he was so big I turned him at a year. My second is a tiny girl and she stayed rear facing until age 2. It wasn't a problem until she was nearly 2 and getting taller. I had the baby on the passenger side and I could see her partly if I needed to. I also had a mirror which helped.
I know some people think it is no big deal but it's MUCH safer to be rear facing. If the car is moving forward so is everyone in it. If you stop suddenly then the people are moving forward at the same speed the car was moving and are only stopped by the car seat or seat belt holding them to the car. A forward facing seat has a harness that holds the body but a rear facing seat has the whole seat supporting the child as a unit. Your child can potentially have head/neck/spine injuries in a forward facing seat--especially smaller babies and toddlers who are small and still developing the muscle strength to hold up their heads (which are proportionally much larger in relation to their bodies than adults). I believe there is a European country that mandates rear facing seats to age 4 and they have far fewer car accident injuries and fatalities among children than here. Sorry to go on and on about this but it does matter.
I have to say my girls are older so the law does not apply to me but as someone whom frequently has neices &nephews in seats I don't feel keeping your kids turned backwards is gonna help that much... My kids were never harmed turned around facing front.. Like you said for 1. they can't see whats going on & get very upset stressing you out while you are driving which can cause accidents.. 2. most kids at that age legs are so long that sitting backwards makes them have to sit indian style in there car seat for a long period of time which again makes them very iritable.. Me personally dn't like them facing the back window cause if there is an accident the glass is gonna come flying in straight at there face.. I think it is all a personal preference....
Don't stress. Put her in the middle. At least try it. My DD has always been RF and she's also in a Marathon. She's learned to catch the sippy cup that I slide over the back of her seat (at a light...she knows I can't always hand it to her). She has some car toys and we talk and play games and listen to music. I know some kids just don't like to be restrained and it doesn't matter what direction they are facing. My DD is 2.5 and will be RF til her Marathon maxes out. She is all legs and does just fine.
Also, make sure the seat is installed correctly. We found out that ours was not tied down right the first time we went to install it.
And, frankly, sometimes you just gotta let them scream. No matter what way they're facing, it's not always safe to reach them or pull over to deal with them. Just turn on some music and tune her out. If she's just angry and not hurt, then let her cry. I used to do a 40+ minute commute with DD when she was in her crying phase, so I say this from experience. Better to make some noise than be hurt or dead.
Kudos to you for keeping her RF! In the event of a crash, a RF child is 75% less likely to die than if they are forward facing (I plan to keep my baby rear facing until she outgrows the limits for her Marathon -- 40 lbs or 49 inches -- or hits 4, whatever comes first).
I don't have a ton of advice, except as you say putting more pacis in the car seat. It's also always fine to pull off the road for a moment and go back there to straighten her out and give her the paci. I just wanted to say it's great to have your priorities straight -- annoyance of not being able to see the child or harder time giving her a paci vs. internal decapitation. You are keeping your baby safe!
Honestly, wh ydo you need to see her while driving? You should be concentrating on the road. you can still talk to her and sing to her, let her babble and yes, throw a fit if she thinks she's dying. Its likely she's not, she's not choking if you didn't give her food, she's not in pain, she's just pissed because she's strapped in. ITs a phase that most kids hit around 10-16months, they are mobile and by golly they want to be out moving around.
Tell her to suck it up buttercup and keep her rear facing. Broken necks aren't something to joke around with.
My daughter is now 4 and easily rear facing, she came home from Ukraine at 3.5 and never having been in a car, let alone a car seat, and went straight to rear facing. She is 37" tall and 28lbs and she has cerebral palsy (mild, affects her legs) and she wears AFO's, and is easily able to rear facing. Sure, she throws a good tissy once in a while but I know she's fine, just doesn't want to be strapped in.
She will be ok, the new recommendations are awesome and they should be followed. If you quesion it, look at how many kids die in auto accidents in the USA in one day compared to countries that rear facign kids to age 4 and also know how to proeprly use car seats 100% of the time. THey have less kids die in 5 yrs than the USA has in one day. THAt speaks volumes.
honestly I would find a smaller built carseat for the time being. You'll end up getting your money's worth. When you're ready to turn her around, you can use the Britax and then you have an extra carseat if someone else drives with her so you don't have to mess with reinstalling. My daughter has a Graco comfortsport ($70 sale price/$85ish reg)which I love and can get to her! She's 19 months, 17 lbs 2 oz so will be rearfacing for awhile! The mom's at the daycare I work at that have been trained to install carseats have recommended the Cosco Scenera (around $40 - not as much cushion as comfortsport - but the one I'll prob'ly get for an extra), Graco MyRide (a few inches wider than Comfortsport), Evenflo either Titan or Triumph (I think). One of them had actually bought 3 before she found one that fit in her car and where she could reach the strap adjuster... sometimes it's just a gamble.
Side note - the daycare is in a Rehabilitation Hospital. These mother's not only have been trained to install car seats but they provide different forms of therapy for many children who have been in car accidents. They are all advocates of staying rearfacing as long as possible even past age 2 if the car seat allows with the child's build and that children are naturally flexible and they will fit their legs in rearfacing. They all say it is much easier to rehabilitate broken legs than broken necks, heads or sadly dead children.
I dont have any words or great wisdom. How old is your little one? I saw your son is 13 months are they twins?
I found that when any of mine were back facing, and I couldnt get to them, I had to put on imaginary mommy earphones. It is far more dangerous to be constantly worried about little ones in baby seats. The crying will be annoying at first. She will learn though that mom cant stop and turn around every thirty seconds. One moment not watching can change everything. You just have to tell your self''she is ok. she is safe. she is just upset she is not getting what she wants right then and there''. Keep this in mind and eventually she get it.
I havent heard what the new recommendations are. So this is just one sided. If it is stated she should be rearfacing keep her there. Know she is ok though.
