so my child will be 5 in less than 2 months.
they are tall... tall enough to be moved out of the 5 point harness carseat.
they are light though. 35-38 lbs. the high back booster we had planned on getting says starting weight 40 lbs.
my child knows how to loosen the 5 pt harness. and retighten it. and will often loosen it as much as they can while i am driving. (and is often in trouble due to this)
they also buckle themself.
so WWYD? continue the frustrating travel trying to keep them in a 5 pt harness that they just loosen up when they want to untill they are 40 lbs .. or switch them on their 5th b-day weather they are 40 lbs or not.
pulling over is not an option most of the time. (small shoulder area with a deep ditch, no parking spaces open in town and no areas to just park. )and we have already been addressing that situation. but thanks foe suggesting ways to combat that part. however. the question was about the seat... my child is nearly too tall for her seat right now so too tall for one too light for the other thats mostly my connundrum. i will be looking into the high back boosters for the lighter child... they are not avalable in this area so i will have to head to the city to check that out.
If he messes with the 5 pt, he will mess with the shoulder strap. I would get that under control before even thinking of switching.
We didn't move Kiddo out of his carseat until he was probably 6 or so. I mean, he's still one of the last of his peers to use a booster (he's nearly 10 and likes the view better when he's in his booster.
I'd keep them in their 5-point as long as possible. Explain that the carseat harness isn't to be messed with. Each time he loosens it up, yes, pull over and fix it. That's one of those things I would have him lose a privilege over. No tv/video games if he loosens it up. Or, every time he rides *without* loosening it up, a small privilege/treat/dime....something to make it 'pay off' for your child. You know what will work better for your kid. Safety is non-negotiable.
It wouldn't even be an option. I would get and enforce the recommended seat for his/her height and weight.
Safety is safety, if your four year old is already calling the shots you have much bigger problems than seat size.
I would allow extra time to get to any destination for the next 2 weeks. Every time the seat belt is fussed with - every time - I would pull over and stop the car. No big fight, no threats, just total boredom because "we aren't moving until you are safe. It's the law and it's also my rule." If the child is late for school and misses free play, so be it - it was the child's decision. If the child is late for a birthday party or a play date or soccer practice, so be it. Let the child know that he can explain to the principal, his friends, his coach, whomever, that the reason he is late is that he wouldn't follow the state rules about car safety. It will not be your fault that he is late - it will be his own.
If you don't do this, they will fight you on every damn thing. Some things are not negotiable: brushing teeth, taking medicine, going to school, going to bed on time, auto safety, and pedestrian safety. It will be a tough 2 weeks but then it will be done. If you switch to a booster, you are not only saying that you are willing to skirt the safety recommendations, you are risking the same sort of defiance with that new seat or the next thing in some other category that the kid doesn't want to do.
No mater how you deal with the car seat/booster seat/seat belt issue - they really NEED to quit messing with their restraints while you are driving.
Seriously - they get a treat every time they leave it alone and don't unbuckle until YOU TELL them that they can.
If they loosen, unbuckle or jump the gun before you give the the ok - no treat for them - and make it something they really want very badly.
They will cry, throw a fit, try to weedle their way with you - this is where you lay down the law as you are the Momma and they WILL listen to you and they must take you seriously.
It's just dangerous to let this go on.
Whether you have a police man explain it to them or a fireman (they do talks about stuff like this at open houses sometimes) - they need to get the message, listen to it and take it seriously.
It's going to be tough because they've got away with it so far - but this has to stop - and you have to stop it.
Good luck!
Be creative and be firm.
It's going to take awhile for this to firm up into a new long lasting habit.
The lives you save may be theirs.
I'd have to agree with everyone else about enforcing that seat belt rule. My son did this one time only. We were on the way to a game practice, he was about 4, I turned the car around (we were close) and went home. I told him if he wasn't big enough to ride in a car seat, he wasn't big enough to play soccer. It never happened again.
Would not switch. He loosens belts while you are driving, pull over. Do not move until he gets it. If you go and he does it again, repeat. Some things are non-negotiable in life. Safety is one of them.
My son is 5 (November b-day). He is also tall for his age at 3' 11"' and weighs 49 pounds. He is very thin. However, he is in a 5-pt harness. He knows we go nowhere without his seatbelt on. This is not negotiable. In dad's car though, he is in a regular booster. He doesn't go out often with dad and dad needs to be able to take the seat out everyday. But he knows he must be strapped in with the shoulder strap.
I have pulled over on the street when he took his seatbelt off and we did not move until he got it back on. A friend of mine has a niece that takes off her belt. She got tired of pulling over and either made or bought a strap cover. This covers the full connection of the harness strap so she cannot remove it.
I worked for a large police department. The traffic division would tell you to keep kiddo in a 5 point as long as possible. I agree with the others. This is a hill to die on. You figure out their currency and you make sure they are very uncomfortable if they mess with their belts while you are driving.
I respect all the answers below and I have kept my kids in their recommended seats until they hit the height/weight restrictions. In this situation, I don't know. I might move them. It seems like you are trying to address the tightening and untightening issue and I could see how this could go on a dozen times while you are driving and you would have no idea so it's not like you can just pull over or whatever.
However, this also begs the question that will they play with the seatbelt and pull that away from themselves as you are driving too? If you think so then I guess I might as well leave them in the 5 point harness because it will still probably provide more protection in the case of accident, but if you think your kids will leave the seatbelt alone and not mess with it, then I'd probably go ahead and move them.
**ETA - you can just order online at Target, Amazon, Wal-Mart, any big box store. Plus you can look at the reviews and see which one would be a good fit rather than just driving to the city, walking into a store and picking one at random.
Ok, you have probably done a ton a research on this, but why can't you get a high back booster that is 30 - 100 lbs, 4+ yrs old? There are tons out there. Are you truly locked into the 40 lb one? It seems like an easy solution - you get to switch out of the 5 pt harness AND you aren't breaking any safety rules. I'm getting one for my grandbaby - she is really tiny for her age and would probably be in a 5 pt harness at 8 years old if we didn't look at a 30 lb one.
Good luck!
It was just a year ago that Oklahoma changed their laws from age 6 to age 8.
It is still common though for kids to be in nothing but a booster seat with a regular car seat belt going through the holes meant for the belts to go through. I feel that this sort of seat is actually safer because the seat belts are permanently installed in the car and are superior strength than any car seat straps.
So I'd say buy a high back booster and use your own seat belt. Make sure the belt does go across their chest in the right place and it's good.
You have to be able to rely on your kid to sit up straight, not slouch, not lean over, and stay positioned when in a booster seat. With the 5 point harness, they are restrained. Totally different once they are just using seat belt. So your child has to have the maturity to sit properly and not mess about in his seat.
I waited for mine to hit the age requirement. Mine were still in the 90th percentiles at that age, but for me, maturity factored into it.
I would keep him/her in 5 point harness. My almost 7 year old is still in a 5 point harness (he's never balked about it). If s/he's adjusting the seat in a 5 point harness, how do you know s/he's not going to "modify" a booster?
