Can I Start Potty Training When He Isn't Dry in the Morning? and Other Questions

You can certainly potty train a child who is not dry in the morning. Potty training and night time dryness are unrelated. My 6.5 year old son has been pottty trained for years, but no matter what we do he cannot consistently wake up dry so we use Goodnites still. I do, however think that 19.5 months is early for a boy especially. Most boys I know did not train until close to or after 3. My sons had interest earlier, but niether had the real control to do it that early. I might also caution that, especially in a child son young, you run the risk of training too close to the new baby and then the change of the new baby causing regression and having to do it all over again.

readiness is not playing with a potty seat.

readiness is not watching mommy/daddy go potty.

readiness is not sitting on it occasionally.

readiness is not Mom wanting only one child in diapers.

readiness is when the child has self-awareness of the physical need to relieve himself & is cognizant & capable of expressing that need....thru both physical clues (grabbing his diaper as he's going) & verbally, too.

My vote is for waiting until he openly displays self-awareness.

Hi Jen,

I don't want to be the voice of discouragement here, yet I think initiating toileting for a child this age is choosing to create a difficult challenge for both yourself and your little one. Believe it or not, there are advantages to having two in diapers. (As a nanny, I know this personally. It's easier to deal with two diaper changes than to be cleaning up accidents and tending to a baby.)

My personal opinions aside, here's a resource I highly recommend.

http://www.betterkidcare.psu.edu/AngelUnits/OneHour/Toile...

This article was created for the early childhood ed program for Penn State, and has a list of assessment questions, which will help you be best able to evaluate if your child is ready to start.

In my view, assessment is your best ally in helping your child learn how to use the toilet successfully. I like to think of it as if you were teaching a child to ski: you would make sure they had all their equipment on before sending them down the bunny slope. Likewise: proficiency in the skills they list will give your child the best possible chances for success.

One philosophy a few of my colleagues and I have come to acquire is that a child has their own developmental time frame for learning how to use the toilet. We can start earlier, but if they aren't ready, it will take us just as long (In their lives) as it would if we had waited until we saw true readiness. Thus, a child who is going to learn to use the toilet at 2 years 7 months will still 'get it' around this time, no matter if they had started at 22 months or at 2 years, 5 months. Waiting until readiness eliminates more frustrating accidents, because when kids aren't ready, they just aren't. Nothing we can do will change that with long-term effectiveness. This is why you hear stories of children who did fine with m&m rewards for a month or so, and then began having accidents again.

The philosophy around toilet learning, too, might seem a little unfamiliar. Let me assure you that this isn't a bunch of touchy-feely theorhetical mumbo-jumbo. I have helped children with learning to use the toilet for nearly 20 years now, and have seen this developmentally appropriate approach facilitate far more success-- and sooner in their process-- than more conventional approaches. And here, I'm not saying there's anything horrible about more conventional approaches, but the fact that it is a frequently-problematic process (as evidenced by the number of these posts I see) can't go unquestioned.

In our home, my son was allowed to wait until he showed readiness. This was when he was about 3 years, 3 months. We offered him cloth diapers or cloth underpants to wear, and paper diapers at night. Two months later, he was in underwear overnight. We've had one wet bed accident since then and virtually zero power struggles around toileting. (Occasionally he doesn't want to use the toilet, but that's pretty common... we just tell him to go try anyway.)

Sorry this post is so long. This is something I feel strongly about, though, and I do plan on offering classes in my area starting next autumn. Parents have a lot of challenges with helping their children learn to use the toilet. Funny thing... if we let it be our child's journey to figure out, and just provide great support, we make this a more positive process for everyone involved!

Best to you,
H.

Night time dryness and potty training during the day have nothing to do with each other. Night time dryness is a whole other physical and neurological stage of development that usually doesn't happen for most kids till around age 5.

Bottom line is you can't make a kid potty train. My daughter showed an interest starting at 17 months but at 31 months she still isn't fully trained. Some days she does fantastic and other days she has accidents and she doesn't always tell me when we are out and about. They have to be physically able to hold it, get to the potty, to tell you when you are out and about, etc.

You can broach it with him but be prepared to have 2 in diapers. Heck, switch to cloth! You'll save tons in the end. The two of them can actually share diapers with all the awesome one size diapers that are available now. I saved so much $ by cloth diapering my second.

Waking up dry in the morning may not happen for a long time. My daughter has been potty trained since last January (2.5) and still wakes up wet some mornings so we haven't attempted night time training (well we did 1x and it didn't work so well!). So even if he's wet in the morning, you can still potty train.

I think taking a long weekend is a good idea, however, do not be surprised if he retracts after baby gets here even if he's been potty trained for several months. I suggest having him sit on the potty when you go (yours or his) and then see if he attempts to go on his own (lets you know, tells you when he's wet/poopy). My daughter expressed interest at your son's age and we started - I'd ask if she wanted to sit on the potty when I did, etc. Her brother was born two weeks after her 2nd birthday and she retracted big time! We stopped trying until my son was 6 months old and she got it - but still had accidents 1-5x a day until just about a month ago!!!! I think the biggest thing was that I thought she was ready, but she wasn't fully. You can 'train' a child to sit on a toliet and pee every so often, but that does not mean they are trained and they can tell when their body is signaling that they have to go! Big difference!! But I'd say go for it...but don't expect it to work over night. With some people, it does. With others (like us) it takes over a year for the accidents to stop!

Good luck!

While it may be possible to potty train a child that is still wet in the morning, it's not advisable in my book. Waking up dry for most children is a tangible way to know that his urinary tract system is maturing and that the child is able to wait longer times between wetting. Little children tinkle all the time at random with no knowledge of when it's happening. They may even be able to know after. But they don't know before.

My grandson is almost 17 months old. He's also showing some mild interest, following us into the potty and even looking in the toilet to see what we've done. He's been bringing diapers to us for some time. But there is no way I'd even think about potty training him yet. For one thing he's not speaking clearly and would not be able to tell us. He can't pull his pants up and down. He's too short to stand at the toilet and to little and wiggly to sit for long. This boys clothing isn't loose fitting or convenient and it's winter and cold. I find it much easier to let them run around in a pull-up and t-shirt during training. I just don't think that a child of this age has the cognitive development to initiate the stream of potty and most would no way be able to recognize the signs they may need to do a # 2.

I totally agree that changing 2 in a row is no big deal and easier than trying to potty train a child that has been entirely turned off because it's confusing. The minute the mild interest passes to a game and then the game becomes a chore they can't understand, you will likely make them so against it that in the end you'll have a child not ready to potty train a LOT longer than otherwise they would be if you give him more time.

Everyone has their own way of dealing with this. And there are differing opinions on nighttime dryness as well. I don't even think that nighttime dryness can be LEARNED anyway... it is more of a physical maturity issue. Bladders don't grow as fast as other body parts sometimes, lol.
I didn't even notice whether or not my son was waking up wet or dry in the scheme of potty training. But when he started showing interest (and when I thought it was time) I started the process.

So if you think he is emotionally and mentally mature enough to start being responsible for his own potty needs, then go for it. Keep in mind, however, that it isn't always easier to have them potty trained if they are not yet able to maneuver their clothing on their own. It can be frustrating for them if they know what to do but can't get their clothing off in time, for example. Or for you to find them coming down the hallway after using the bathroom with no clothes on b/c they can't do the snaps on their pants! LOL

Going to a public bathroom anywhere in the near future??? Can you hold him up to use it while you are pregnant? (It CAN be done, by the way, but it is a strain on your back sometimes).

19.5 months is quite early in my opinion. If you think HE is ready, then go for it. But if he isn't really exhibiting any signs, then I would wait, regardless of having 2 in diapers at the same time. It will just make the process longer and more stressful if he isn't really ready yet. My son started training just before his 2nd birthday (like 22 months?)... and I am always reading how that is really early for a boy. I don't know if it is or isn't... I think it depends on the child and their readiness. But, if your son isn't getting the same messages at home as at daycare it will take longer.

My daughter pottytrained before 19 months, but still wet the bed until she was about 4.5. I'm glad I didn't start to potty train her until she was dry in the mornings. (on the other hand, I wet the bed until I was over 10, so there is some issue here). My other daughter potty trained at 22 months, and my son though not close to potty trained at 15 months, wears undies around the house and many days doesn't get them wet. Put him in undies, see not if he is ready to sit on the potty (he surely is old enough for that), but if his bladdar is ready to let him know and get to the potty before emptying. I do think disposable diapers give them less of a chance to understand the events, peeing and getting wet and all (I use cloth). Many kids his age are ready. No harm in trying (as long as you do it gently with love).

K.

He's pretty little, but you could try.
Don't expect nighttime dryness from a 2 yo. Some kids aren't night trained til 4,5,6 or 7--their bodies just physically CANNOT hold it until they are developed. Just use a diaper or pull up at night. When you geet a week of dry mornings, you're very close! ;)

I think if he is showing interest then try. Have you considered using cloth diapers when you are at home and during the day- or something that is easily removable. I did EC (elimination communication) with my child- it worked for us. You could also teach him the sign for potty in ASL. I disagree with people who think you will do psychological damage to your son. If he is ready he is ready. If it were summer I would suggest letting him run around naked for a while and get used to the feeling of what happens before he actually goes. With a disposable diaper on, he may not recognize the need to go. I would still be a good diaper on at night times, you may even try figuring out what time he usually wakes and see if he isn't urinating right before he wakes, if you can wake him in the morning before he goes, then at least that is one more time you can catch. My daughter always stayed dry through the night, and went first thing in the morning. So I left her diaperless at night and in the morning she would go in, and sit down. Of course, that isn't a typical child. I would say go for it, but don't expect great things unless you can be around and notice that he may have to go

Wait until the child is older or it will just be a frustrating experience.
Most kids are closer to 2 1/2 and some kids are 3. I did have a daughter who could use the potty at 18 months but could not hold it at night and had to use a diaper. Most kids are not that young. Wait for summer time when the kids are in shorts and when you have a good week to devote attention to the child. Always make this a positive experience. Never scold, yell or act bugged when they have an accident. Good luck

He's not ready yet. He needs to be quite a bit older before he'll be potty trained. He will still be in diapers when the new baby comes. You can still work on it with him though, he will not be hurt by it.

Most boys take longer and they usually are older. He may even still be wet in the morning even into elementary school.

To be really honest in child care if you have toddlers you don't even have a bathroom for potty training in your classroom. I haven't worked in a single facility that had one in the baby room or toddler room. Sometime the 2 year old classroom didn't have one either. It's double hard to try to train at home and then it not carry over in child care.

As for cloth verses disposable. if you have time to double your laundry time and expense then it may be an option for you. People tend to not notice their water, elec, and gas bills going up when they add more laundry plus extra soap and...well, my time is worth something too. I feel that the time I spent doing extra laundry is just not worth it. I went gladly went back to disposable after carting more and more laundry around to fold.

If you try to potty train him now you will only be training yourself and will probably set your self up for a real hassle when the new baby is born. Most boys are ready to begin the summer after they turn 2. So set your sights on next May..!!!

My son was day trained for a several months before being night trained. He was fine all day while he was awake (and for his occassional 2 hr nap) but I did not expect him to be night trained immediately. He wore a diaper/pullup at night. He started waking up dry and we went to undies at night about a month ago. I helped him day train, for sure. I had no part in him waking dry. I don't think that is something you can "train" ...it is just something they progress to on their own in my opinion. So the long way to answer your question is, no, I don't think they need to wake dry in order to be ready to train :-) Oh, one more thing, my son was a HEAVY night time wetter when we started day training. Just keep it positive and try not to get too bummed if it does not go as well as you hoped. You can try again in a couple more months if it does not work this time. Good luck.

Certainly you can. The average American child was trained at 18 months in 1950 - before the disposable diaper. Since then the age has been climbing and climbing and climbing - disposables provide little motivation to parent or child. Just put him in underwear and take him to the bathroom a lot. I don't think you need sticker charts or rewards. He will be excited when he goes in the potty. We tried 'naked all the time' but it was too messy for us. We tried pull ups - a complete waste of time and money - kids will pee and poop in them just like diapers.
Good luck.

If he is showing interest, go ahead and start, and be prepared that potty training can often take awhile. I first got out the potty and my daughter actually used it at 14 months, but we didn't push and so it was a very gradual process and she was out of diapers completely by 26 months. (I am NOT a believer in waiting until a child turns 3, because I've seen so many power struggles develop with children that age).

Nighttime dryness, as many others have noted, is a completely separate process which you have no control over and will happen when his body is ready.

That seems awfully early to start potty training, especially a boy. Every child is different, but generally speaking boys master this when they are older. My son was a little over 3 yrs old. What is the rush to do this? Because of the baby? You can always try but don't be surprised or angry if it doesn't work yet. Good luck.

I would caution against it. Although I do not think you will cause phsycological damage I do think you will cause yourself undue stress. Also, cloth diapers of the 1950s are nothing like they are today and deciding to potty train that early then was the only option. Times were different yes, but let's also remember people had polio and there were no car seats. Personally, I think he's too young. He might show interest in the idea of the potty, that's pretty normal, but I think you're going to have a hard time. Also, are you going to use pull ups, go straight to underwear, what's the plan? YOu will not save money, I don't think, if you're using pull ups all the time. THey are expensive and you get way fewer in a package. I recommend going straight to underwear and I think a 19 m/o will have a hard time with that. The cost will be signicant with two in diapers, I get it, my son was born 1 week after my daughter turned 2 and yeah, my Target bill kinda sucked that first year, but I wasn't trying to potty train amongst my other sleep deprived tasks so to me it was worth it. Worst case scenario you could try it and then go back to diapers if he's not responding, but I'm not a huge fan of that either. In my opinion, it's best to wait.

I think waking up dry in the morning may not be the best clue. Our DD is 3.5 and is potty-trained during the day. She wears a Pull-up to bed. Both my husband and I were bedwetters, so I don't expect her to be able to stay dry at night yet.

Is your son dry after naptime? That's a shorter timespan and more realistic. And like others have said, there are more indicators than just that, but I wouldn't let the overnight wetness deter you. Good luck! Congrats on baby #2!