Can I Just Gripe About Kids in the Kitchen?'

Updated on November 01, 2012
A.J. asks from Norristown, PA
21 answers

We have a big old house. the only room that isn't groovy is the kitchen. It's tiny and dysfunctional and was added on well after house was built as a badly planned afterthought. When we chose the house, I was used to "no kitchen" in NY for 12 years, my first child was a baby, and I really had no concept of how much time a SAHM single mother of three (nearly divorced) would spend in the kitchen, or I swear I would have bought a tiny house with a big kitchen instead :(

ANYWAY, I'm always very annoyed in there (I hate cooking anyway even before this issue), because if anyone or anything else is in there (a stool, a toy, whatever people drag in), or the dishwasher door is open, it takes up the whole floor and you can't step back or move without tripping or bumping into someone. So I'm constantly telling the kids to "get out of the kitchen" and "get their stuff out of the kitchen" when I'm trying to make a meal, clean up after a meal, make snacks, clean up after snacks, etc. It's Toooooooo annoying. Yes, I let my oldest help cook, but it's haaaaaard to be patient about it.

ANYWAY. I think the fact that I really hate the kids in the kitchen has made it their very favorite room.....because I can't count how many times per day I have to remind them to go into one of the other really nice big rooms with toys and activities. I even cave at dinner prep and let them watch one SHOW ON TV just to try to keep them out of there. But no. After the TV has been on for about three minutes (thankfully they have no interest in TV) they want to snoop in the fridge, search for Halloween candy, play in the sink, pull up a stool from another room and stir the food, wrestle on the microscopic dirty floor or whatever. SUDDENLY ring around the rosy or tag can ONLY be played in the kitchen, where there isn't even room to play it. EVEN when I'm not in there. (yes Sandy cabin fever already). All this would be cute and family-ish in a normal-sized kitchen. But not ours.

I'm not really asking for help, just venting. I'm thankful I have kids, and I'm thankful I have a kitchen. Once I get serious and tell them to REALLY GET OUT OF THERE, they do. It's just amazing how attracted to it they are....As for "making it a rule" not to go in there when I'm cooking....tried that. To no avail. They just keeeep creeping in. I could really discipline them for coming in, but have decided that's a bit much, but I'm aware it's an option. Again. I'm venting-not all the way serious.... Just curious:

Do your kids have any favorite places where you wish they wouldn't lurk?

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So What Happened?

BELIEVE me I know I don't want my kids to grow so fast. I LOVE THEM everywhere all the time (except the kitchen), and I know kitchens CAN be nice, I like OTHER people's kitchens... :)

@Lilym: HA HA HA!!!

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I think I would just leave the kitchen and sit down in the living room once it gets too crowded in the kitchen. When they come into the living room and ask about dinner, tell them you'd love to cook dinner, but there is no room in the kitchen for you. If they are like my GD, they love their dinners so maybe that might get them to understand that they really do need to stay out when you're trying to cook.

4 moms found this helpful

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

My 16 year old son likes to come into my room and sprawl across my bed. Usually when I am trying to get dressed or ready for work or something.

He also, still, always needs to talk to me when I am in the bathroom.

I thought he would outgrow these things, sigh.

2 moms found this helpful

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L.M.

answers from Cleveland on

Do my kids have any favorite places where i wish they didn't lurk?
how about 2 inches from my FACE 12 hrs a day.

I exaggarate,but they both want to be on top of me, And to ask them to play in a different room, is like i'm bannishing them to siberia.

8 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

my kids used to have a favorite place - the bathroom - when I was using it. They would pound on the door and bug me till I was done!! If I went in there to clean it - there they were. I guess it is just the place that is off limits to them that is so attractive. They are over that now. Hope it gets better!!

2 moms found this helpful
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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

I think the favorite place in most houses is the kitchen! My mom will have family gatherings and everyone hangs out in the kitchen. Standing around the counters and eating, rather than sitting comfortably in the living room.

Kitchens are just homey places. That's where mom is, that's where the food is. They are usually brightly lit, and overall they are just happy places.

I'm sure it's annoying, but I think when they are not around, you still hear the echo of your kids in the kitchen, the sounds of their voices bouncing off the wall and their feet on the floor.

You could give them a kitchen chore to do, every time they are in there. Then they'd be helping and if they didn't want to do extra chores then they'd go somewhere else!

But I think you will look back, when they are older, and wish they were underfoot once more :)

2 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

It's a fact of life,
no matter where the party is, people tend to congregate in the kitchen!
My kids ALL have their own rooms, desks with lamps and supplies to do their homework.
Yet where do they drag their backpacks to do their homework?
Yep, the kitchen.
We have had many family gatherings here. We have a lovely large living room, dining room and huge patio and deck. And yet where is the crowd?
IN THE KITCHEN!
I here your vent, I do, especially when your kitchen is small, it can be very annoying.
I guess all I can say is be glad they love you so much (and whatever you're cooking smells so good) that they just can't stay away.
In the meantime, since they are in there anyway, PUT THEM TO WORK :)

2 moms found this helpful

M.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

My kids love coming in the kitchen too when I am cooking. I am always tripping over kids, toys or the dog who likes to follow me around under my feet. It does get frustrating. The only way to get from the front room of the house to the back room of our house is through the kitchen, thus it's hard to keep them out. We have a small cape cod.

In my dream house the kitchen will be an open concept with the living room and dining room. There will be a large island with barstools and lots of counters. Basically my sisters kitchen LOL

2 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

I feel your pain...our kitchen is decently sized but even with only the one kid, it seems like she's always in the way if I am in there and trying to maneuver about. I find myself constantly telling her to go in another room and go play, watch TV, whatever.

I also have an issue with the master bedroom and bathroom. In my mind, there's just no reason for her to be hanging about in there when she has the rest of the house, but sometimes when I am trying to shower, get dressed, etc. she'll insist on coming in and poking about and I have to shoo her out of there. I just need my space and the master bedroom/bathroom is sacred to me!

2 moms found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

MY 2 year old DD likes to lurk in the hall closet behind the suitcases and in my bedroom closet behind my clothes! It scares the heck out of me trying to find her. She is sneaky about it too - it could be a few weeks since she has hidden last, so my guard is down and one minute I am talking to her and then the next minute she is hiding.

As for your dilemma, why fight it? Not sure how old your kids are but I can sort of relate because I have a 2 year old. Even though my kitchen is big, she always wants to be in there with me and I have hot stuff going on and knives on the counter etc. Sure, I could discipline her every time she comes in the kitchen but that would just be an exercise in futility - she is 2 and I am single so there is no other parent to distract her in another room. She wants my attention after work/school.

We have to be together in the same room. What I do is try to cook at night once she is in bed, then I just have to reheat meals in the microwave. I also use the crock pot a lot. Finally, I serve a lot of cold meals which don't stress me out nearly as much as trying to cook with child in the kitchen. Hummus and veggies, tortilla/cheese/meat roll ups, cracker/fruit/cheese trays, etc. If your kids are low maintenance eaters - stop cooking! Good luck to you!

2 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Oh wow, I bet the same people built my house. Maybe it was their summer home or something. Our kitchen is soooo small and one year i actually had Christmas for a million relatives and I could not get near the stove. People naturally gravitate towards the kitchen. Who knows why? To this day, kids grown, still in house due to the economy, my kitchen just never grew. So we have pots and pans all over (we love to cook), the dishwasher is broken and things are piled in cabinets-almost want to cry. Oh well, I have a house and I guess I should be grateful for that. I now wish they would lurk anywhere here. Alas one of them has moved far far away and the other is here but quite busy. sighhhh

1 mom found this helpful
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S.R.

answers from El Paso on

Kitchen is a big pet peeve of mine, too. In fact, I have a "NO PLAYING" rule for the kitchen. Mostly, that is for safety reasons. When you've got kids in the kitchen goofing off, there is just no way to predict what could possibly happen, so we have the no playing rule. So unless my 3 1/2 year old is standing in a chair doing exactly what I tell her to "help" with dinner, no one is in the kitchen, end of story. Beyond that, I'm pretty flexible. :)

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Egad, I can sympathetically feel how you feel.
Not that I have the same situation, but gosh you really articulated your "problem" well.

Don't know how old your kids are.
Mine are 6 and 10. They don't lurk in the kitchen or use it as a playroom too often. But sure, they have played tag and ring around the rosy in it, or they play under the kitchen table like its a huge theater production under there.... WHILE I am there cooking and doing 100's of other things, daily.
I tell them to get out!
I mean, accidents can happen in a kitchen. Hot things are amidst in a kitchen and sharp things!
While it is fun childhood stuff... well a kitchen that small with kids in it, can be very very dangerous. In any kitchen, accidents happens.
Once, JUST when I was lifting out a HOT pan from the oven... my kids come RUNNING into the kitchen at high speeds and running in circles around and around the kitchen... JUST as I am lifting out the HOT pan from the oven and as I am turning around to get it to the stove top to lay it down.... the kids are like RIGHT behind me, using me as an obstacle to prevent the other sibling from tagging, him.
That was real dicey... they could have gotten burned or the pan could have fallen on them etc. D.a.n.g.e.r.o.u.s.

Where else can the kids play? While you are cooking?

1 mom found this helpful
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R.S.

answers from San Antonio on

My kids are not allowed in the kitchen when I am cooking. Guaranteed if I am picking up a pot of boiling pasta water...they are suddenly between me and the sink...then they stop like deer in the headlights and I have to do a desperate dance of not dumping boiling water on them or me. Usually in the past I end up getting burned.

So they are banned from the kitchen when I am fixing dinner...they can help me make snacks or cookies or a million other things at other times...but not during dinner making. I will put them in time out if they creep in there becasue it just isn't safe for them.

1 mom found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Ah--lurking! I know what you mean! Lol

1 mom found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I live with my daughter (10) in a one-bedroom condo. The building is from the 1920s and the kitchen/dining area is actually the largest room. I've recently been encouraging and requiring that my daughter help me cook! I enjoy cooking (mostly) and want her to pick up the skills gradually and naturally.

The room that is starting to be a problem is our tiny bathroom. She's getting to be close to my size, and at the age where she wants to spend more time in there and, we really can't both fit in front of our tiny sink together (I used to be able to look right over her head!)

I'm hoping I can land a good job within the next year and we'll need to move to be closer to her school, and maybe have separate bedrooms...and a bigger bathroom.

1 mom found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Dallas on

I love having my boys in the kitchen, but I live in a farmhouse with a huge farmhouse kitchen.

As for where I wish they wouldn't lurk - the bathroom when I'm trying to take a relaxing bubble bath. They are 8 and 14, and I love that they still like talking to me all the time, but I really don't want to chat with them when I'm in the tub. They're good about staying out of sight so that I don't have to worry about staying covered up, but still, I want that to be my "me" time. They often seem to think that's a great time to chit-chat.

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K.L.

answers from Erie on

We have a gate blocking our kitchen door. I love my children and spend plenty of quality time with them, but food prep is dangerous. I can't risk letting someone pull a knife off the counter or getting burned when we're putting things into or pulling things out of the oven. There are times when one of the older ones comes in to help with certain tasks, but usually one at a time. Too many in the kitchen and no one is focused on what they're supposed to be doing... When dinner is done, though, I'm in the other room with the little ones. Clean up can wait. I know that's not OK for many others, but it works for us ;)

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

My kids have always been in my kitchens. I would find a spot away from things or a cupboard and make that theirs with plastic bowls and wooden mixing spoons. That way they will stay out and they will learn what does happen in the kitchen. Children not allowed in the kitchen don't do too well later in life when they need to take care of themselves.

Take your time and not be in such a huff over what they are doing and make it fun. Then they will leave you alone or help you with your meals and learn by seeing you do it.

Just remember what you are telling your children about preparing meals and cooking -- it is a dreaded chore. They will pick up on it and they will think that everytime it was meal time you didn't enjoy it and they won't either.

Find a way to make it enjoyable for all of you.

The other S.

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V.P.

answers from Columbus on

When we redid our kitchen, we had enough room to put an island in the middle, and we even have the cabinet for it. But I decided I didn't want it -- I wanted a big open floor for my kids to sprawl on to draw and play, because that's what I remember of our kitchen growing up. It was a wonderful way to spend time with my mom and now my kids do it with me. Sometimes it's in the way, but I'm glad to have the big open space -- we spend more time together in the kitchen than anywhere else. Like you said -- small house, big kitchen -- that's what we have -- wouldn't have been able to do it before the remodel.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

I have the same problem! My kids are always under foot in my small closet sized kitchen, making it impossible to move around and cook.

I try to set up a rule that when I am really cooking, they ahve to get out, End of story. I also only let my oldest cook when I am not in a hurry or doing anything really complicated. I just tell her that it's complicated and that I need my full concentration.

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C.P.

answers from Albuquerque on

Ha! Mine is just everywhere/anywhere that I am! I love that my girl loves to cuddle with me, but sometimes I really just want to sit by myself and enjoy a tv show/cup of coffee/game on my phone/etc! In our living room, we have 2 full-size sofas, 2 recliners, and lots of floor space. However, she will decide that my lap is the ONLY place she can sit! And, like most 3-year-olds it is very difficult for her to sit still! So, she bounces from one leg to the other, "fluffs" me like a pillow, and usually ends up giving me at least one new bruise before I finally make her move!
Fortunately, we have a pretty big kitchen, so I don't usually mind her being in there. My rule is that toys are NOT allowed in there (tripping hazard). It also bugs me when I'm in the middle of cooking and she's asking me a million questions (can I have juice? can I have a candy? is dinner almost ready? can I go outside? can I let the dog in?) while her dad happily sits on his recliner 6 feet away and enjoys a tv show! Why can't she just go bug him and ask him? Of course, because I'm the mama! :) When I get to the point of frustration I stop, make direct eye contact and say "Listen, I am cooking and everything is very hot! I don't want you to get hurt, so I need you to find something else to do. Watch tv with dad, go play in your room, or get your crayons and color at the table. But, you cannot be in here right now." That works about 90% of the time.

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