Calling All Co-sleepers

I know the feeling. I know someone else who had their children sleeping with them until they grew out of it. Even I can't sleep alone, you get used to the child being in the bed. Im a single mom so I don't know what other advice to give.

Hi J.
While we had a crib, my children slept with me more often than not. What worked for my son for nap time was to lie down with him, and tell him he didn't have to sleep. He just had to lie down with me for 10 minutes. 9 times out of 10 he fell asleep.

S. T

He's almost two, right? Maybe it's time to start cutting back on naps, maybe he doesn't need one every day, and the days he does not nap, you can just have him ready for bed earlier. That way you'll have more time for yourselves in the evening, and he'll still be well rested most days, and the days he will need a nap, he'll go for it.

Go to the Website http://www.askdrsears.com They will have your answers to everything. They are Pedi Drs and have all kinds of books and answers. I am a grandmother and it has answered a lot of my guestions. I beleive they have a section on co-sleeping as they practive it. My daughter and son in law did co sleeping with all 3 of their sons. They put a twin bed next to thiers with one, and then a toddler bed with another. Good Luck and best wishes

Hey J..
We too are co-sleepers, gently transitioning her to her big girl bed (full size). I stopped nursing down for naps around 2 years old, and it's still been a hard transition. I've found that I need to either have her fall asleep in the car (she transistions easily), carry her around, or wear her in a baby carrier on my back. All of these take less than 5 minutes. Sometimes she will fall asleep while I'm rocking her in the chair reading to her. That's the sweetest! I too, am anti-CIO (cry it out), and an AP (attachment parenting) momma, so I agree with it being as gentle as possible. If you are trying to get him to fall asleep on his own, I suggest trying a story with a lot of counting and using a monotone as you read it to him/make it up.
I also find the older she gets, the more I need to push back that nap time. At 18 months it was almost 12 on the dot, now sometimes it's 2pm!
HUgs momma. Co-sleeping is one of the joys of parenting I will cherish forever, and when she's going through a rough patch with naps, I remind myself that she won't be a teenager fighting sleep!

Hi J.,

I'm in the same boat. My two-year-old sleeps with me and is getting harder and harder to put down for a nap. I hate to say that I lay down with him every afternoon until he falls asleep. Sometimes he goes right down and sometimes it takes me a half hour. Not ideal, but it works.

I used to put our little guy on the couch for a nap with the footstool right there. He never rolled off.
As far as "Crying it out"...my husband had to tie ME down in the living room to stop from going in to rescue our crying son when we had to train him to sleep on his own. The time had come that we needed our own bed. It was 5, maybe 7 minutes of crying and he was out! Just be firm with yourself and your child and it will work. He is 5 now and I read to him, we do a "favorite cuddle" for 5 or 10 minutes, talking about the day and what will happen tomorrow. Daddy comes in for his turn and he sleeps all night! The problem was never our son, it was me not wanting to let go. You can do it!

Hi there, we are co-sleepers with a 3 year old and I love it too. We hope to have her out by kindergarten. We have considered putting a twin bed next to ours during transition. My friends have two full size beds in their master bedroom. They take turns sleeping with their 2 girls between the two beds. Whatever works. They are only small once! We call our daughter..."Little In The Middle"! lol :)
Good Luck!
-Sher

What I did was make my daughters a 'nest' with blankets and pillows and put a story tape in with them and or cozy things to play with,books ect. BUT some kids just stop napping and that's that - I didn't force it - my son napped longer than the girls. They didn't keep napping much longer than the age of your boy. I just tried to create a pleasant quite time for them and put them to bed earlier.

People keep thinking that we can somehow program these children to make it more convient for us - Well you can - obviously that's what crying it out is all about. The first few years ARE HARD PERIOD for most people and it's double hard because motherhood is not honored for what it REALLY IS. My personal belief is to make it as fun for yourself and as pleasant and mutually edifieng as possible. Getting out your planner and creating serious rythem and routine makes it better for everyone. Plan in fun, plan in regular snacks, social time for you and him, quite time et el.You know what to do!

Children's development is constanting calling us to keep up - as soon as we've got it down they reach another mile stone and we are standing there holding a bunch of outdated tools with our jaw dropped- that NEVER stops - seek Improvement not perfection.

Good Luck,

R.

ps I also admit to using the errand car sleep thing or stroller as well it can stretch napping 'years /months' out a little longer, But the timing has to be just right or ouch cranky cranky

Hi J.,
so your Q is about getting him to sleep right? not getting him out of your bed?...
I am in the middle of co-sleeping with my 15 month old and I have a 8 year old that I co-slept with. If your question is to get him to "nap" well, GOOD LUCK. LOL. It's hard. From my memory...when my older son was that age I think that is when I got in to movies for naps. He would have to stay on the bed and watch the movie...and if he got up I would shut the movie off..and then he would be in big trouble....if reading him to sleep works obviously that is better than a movie. I also bought book movies....I felt like it wasn't so bad for their little brains. (although I'm sure its bad no matter what, but at least he was getting books read to him, in movie form)
anyhow,
if it is how to get your son out of your bed, what worked for us is I got a really cute and cheap toddler bed from Ikea. I put it up right next to my side of the bed with the rail on the outside so there was no way for him to fall out. some times I would have to get him to sleep in my bed before rolling him down and over in to the toddler bed, but once he got better about it he would go to sleep in it and hold my hand..and as weeks went by the bed got further and further away from my bed. just to tell you though...he never slept in his bed ALL through the night until 3months in to kindergarten...HOrrible I KNOW!! :( I had made my second child a crib baby which was so easy and nice..and I have ruined myself and have spoiled this 3rd baby by sleeping with him...I'm in for it I know! :(
GOOD luck to you..and dont let any other mom tell you its bad...it is what it is. what works for one family dosn't always work for another. I love the snuggles they give... now my 8 year old wont even kiss me!!...so enjoy it. they DO grow out of it.

We were co-sleepers until about a month ago and loved it. In fact, at times we really miss snuggling with her at night but love the extra space.
As far as naps go, I started saying that she didn't have to take a nap that she just had to rest. I told her that if she got out of bed that she would have to take a nap....it sounds silly but it has really worked for us.
Hope this helps....Good luck!

Hi J.!

Boy, I remember those days! If they DON'T go down for a nap, then EVERYBODY'S life can be miserable. At this age, they are so busy and independent they feel like they can decide what's best for them and fight the everyday nap.

I am NOT a "cry it out" mom either, as it never agreed with my heart :o) I USED to like to get my "mom errands" done first thing in the morning, so we were home to go down for a nap. But when my boys reached this age, I had to split up my errands. Some were in the morning, we'd come home and put things away (take a break from car/store), then I would go back out for 1 or 2 more stops trying to plan on about 30 minutes before he would normally take a nap. 9 times out of 10 he would fall asleep in the car on the way home. This was fine with me, and even though his nap was sometimes shorter, it was usually the only way to get him down to rest.

As he gets older, then you'll figure other situation out, like when to move him to his room. We'll all be here for those nights too :o)

Hope that helps!

:o) N.

Hate to admit it but ours slept with us until he was 4. At that point I had made a small bed on the floor for him on my side and he slept there a bit longer. Also, there were times when I would get in his bed with him until he fell asleep. That worked sometimes.

Dear J.,

We co-sleep also and have had similar issues with napping. I know it sounds strange, but napping in a stroller helped us a lot . We would hold our son until he was sleepy or asleep and then put him in the stroller to nap. It worked well for us, maybe it will work for you. Eventually we moved him into a porta-crib for naps only and then at night he sleeps with us.

Good luck to you.

Molly

We're co-sleepers too. As far as naps go the only solution we have is to lay down with them. My 27 month old will often get up but I just continue to lay down and ingnore his wandering around the bedroom until he gives up and goes to sleep. We also sometimes go for a walk at naptime and he falls asleep in the stroller and then I bring it into the house so I can get something done while he's sleeping. Having the same routine before nap has helped a lot too.

Hmmm, that is a good question. It seems to me that maybe it is time for himself to have his our room and bed, an this is his way of asking for some indepedence. Even though it's hard for us as paretns to let our litle one grow up and move away from us, at almost 2 I think its best FOR HIM to be able to soothe himslef, and have his own space and time. If he is moving away form his "normal" routine and not wanting to nurse as much and is becoming diffulcut at naptime, maybe by changing his environment (.I.E his own space, something that is HIS), he may go back to the routine of napping? It just seems that he needs, and maybe wants to, have a little space...?

Sometimes they outgrow the nap early. How many does he take a day? It's a drag when they outgrow it because it's such a necessary time for you but...
Try the nap later? Wait till he seems really tired? Music? Book? Good luck.

we've never used a crib and have had a toddler bed at the end of our bed (it holds our voluminous basket of laundry.)

My husband has been staying home with her and his solution to the no crib thing is that he lets her nap wherever she falls asleep, usually on the sofa after a long game of matching memory or playing tea party. She's 30 months.

He gives her a sippy full of warm milk after lunch and boom, she's out where she drops. He puts a pillow under her and covers her lightly with a blankie, and then goes about his non-kid things for about 1.5 hours (no vaccuuming of course.)

Hope that helps, she's also a climber/non bed stayer, so that's been our nonsolution solution.

DITTO!! I will tell you that the ONLY way I got my 2 year old to sleep during the day was to put her in the car and drive around! Thank goodness for being a work from home mom!! I did that for way too long and finally decided that I was done....SO we went thru a few weeks of whining around nap time and finally she just out grew it (for the most part) Sometimes we will just lay or sit down and watch a video as quiet time and now that she is 3, sometimes she actually falls asleep during that time. Good luck!