P.,
You can never ask too many questions. Only problem is when you are pregnant asking questions everyone seems to tell you all their horror stories.
As a mom of 4 and someone who has worked in post partum, every baby comes out different. Just because you tore on the first, doesn't mean you will on the second, and doesn't mean you won't. My first episi was terribly painful and he was 6# 11oz, so obviously size (of baby and you) doesn't matter there. My 2nd baby was 8 1/2# and I had to ask if the doctor cut me! I tore slightly and never had any problems with it.Once I got home I never had to even mess with it. Much different from the numerous cysts baths and foams and sprays of #1!
I always thought I wanted csections (I had problems where I was prepped for a csection in 3 of my 4) just because I was so scared of the pain of labor. (all mine were vaginal deliveries) One of my friends had csections with all of her 3. I always teased her that she got off easy with no labor, picking the day of birth etc...but seeing her and tending to women in post partum, it is by far the easy way out. Once my labor was over, I could enjoy my babies. There is more healing and picking up your other child will be a task as well.
I would attempt vaginal and then the csection is there if you need it. Once you agree to the csection, vaginal won't be an option. Most importantly is doing whatever makes getting your baby here the safest, happiest event possible. Generally, doctors know best, but if your doctor is giving you the option then the doc must think you will be ok either way.
I know it is scary, but you really have to remind yourself that every delivery is different or all those women that had the terrible first time would have stopped with #1 LOL!
Hang in there 2 of my babies were late and those last few weeks seem like FOREVER! Try to rest and relax! Congrats!
SOrry had to add a pS- if you do have a csection- make sure you get up and around and walk as soon as possible- the more you are up and going the faster your healing will be and the better you will feel.