Breastfeeding WEENING!!!

I'm not going to be much help in the weaning department but, I want to assure you that you will eventually be able to leave your son with a family member to babysit. I breastfed (regret weaning at 13 months cold turkey due to pregnancy complications) and co-sleep (still co-sleep). At 14 months he spent the night with his grandma with no problems and has done it again since. Some babies use bottles, a blanket, a pacifier, etc. for comfort your baby has you and your breastfeeding relationship that comforts him. My son would never sleep in the crib or bassinet from day 1. I tried everything like putting the crib right next to my bed, even taking the side off and putting it next to the bed so there was no railing between us nothing worked i even tried given him a bottle. When he was 10 months we gave up and decided to just sell the crib! He is now 15 months we have his mattress on the floor right next to my side of the bed and starting just the last few days he will lay down on "his bed" and go to sleep when he is ready. My best advice (i know it's not what you want) is to enjoy it while it lasts, in a couple months he will be running and you will be wishing he would stop for 5 minutes so you can cuddle and hold him :o)
I wish you luck!

well i won't be much helping with weaning because my son is 13 months old and i still happily nurse him to sleep. i'm just writing to hopefully show you that nursing to sleep is a natural thing that babies do instinctually... they are not being "bad" or "manipulative" as others might lead you to believe. it's just been a lifestyle change for us. I get my "time away" or "break time" during the day. My son is able to fall asleep for naps without nursing in a car ride so he does okay with his dad if I want to be away for an afternoon on the weekend. But I just don't go out alone in the evenings. I've done it a few times but my son won't go to sleep and if he does, he wakes within an hour and waits up for me to come home.

If you must be away in the evening or it's just really important to you, you don't have to totally wean him from nursing. You should nurse your baby at least for one year according to the AAP. you've made it this far, so why not hang in there? i really went through a phase of wanting to night-wean around the same time when my son was 9-10 months old but i felt like all the effort wasn't worth it to go out a few times a month in the evening. i enjoy our nursing time in the evening and didn't want to give up every night just for the random night out.

For more information and conversation on this topic, visit the message boards on kellymom.com or mothering.com to get advice or tips from moms who have been in this situation.

I have a 9mo old as well, as I was reading this I was feeling your pain. I don't want to stop nursing, I just want him to be able to self sooth himself to sleep. My husband told me last week that I created a monster of a problem. The real problem I have is when he wakes up during the night and can't put himself back to sleep. As I leave him in the crib to cry it out he slams his head against the rails and gets an upset stomach till he throws up. When I pat or rub his back, it's as if I have insulted him. He swats at me. I've been consistant with feeding him earlier (1 hour before bed) and the whole bath, story time cuddles, 20 min baby massage routine with no luck. I started that around 7mos old. He just gets so mad and doesn't give up till he gets the boob!! Like you, if I just feed him he drifts right off with no problem. If you figure something out, please let me know!!!

For me, at 9 months we started a technique from "No Cry Sleep Solution" to stop having to nurse baby to sleep. We started an evening ritual of dinner, bath, pajama time and storytime. Then my husband took over and took her to bed. We gave her a soft lovey to hold. He played her lullaby CD and walked her for a few minutes until she fell asleep, then put her down. If she woke up, he walked her again until she let him put her down without screaming (she would just sob a little) then he stayed next to her while shushing shhhhh-shhhhh-shhhhh and patting her on the back. After 5 days she didn't scream anymore when put down. Now we just put her down without having to walk her to sleep first, unless she's teething. We usually don't even have to pat her back or shush anymore either. There are times when it takes longer. Like when she learned to walk and when her molars came in. Major developmental milestones always cause babies to regress a little and need more comforting. But rest assured, you will be able to put him down.

As for leaving baby with a sitter, I started leaving my daughter from 9-5, M-F, when she was 6 months old. Because she didn't smell the milk on the sitter, she learned how to nap without nursing. If I was around, she could smell the milk, but if it was someone else, then her desire to nurse wasn't stimulated. It was the same way for my friends' babies. So I'm sure you'll be able to leave your son with a family member. The first few times, they might need to rock him to sleep and hold him in their arms until he goes limp-limbed, or else just push him in a stroller until he falls asleep and then recline the stroller for him to sleep in. My friend's mom uses a swing for her grandson to sleep in.

I am pretty weak help in the weaning department(am still nursing my 22 month old & nursed all of his sibs to sleep and co-slept as well. When I weaned ds and dd (each at 16 months)it was due to pregnancy complications so we went cold turkey both times (meaning DH slept-,er...woke up -with the baby.) My oldest ds weaned himself at 20 months and , boy, was I pleased. I was 6.5 months preggie at the time (and wanted sleep.)

Have you ever heard the phrase "nine months in, nine months out" meaning the baby is physically in utero 9 months, the baby will need a minimum of nine months to be attached to momma. If there's trauma during the birth, the may make the baby extra cling-y.

Sitters can still watch breastfed babies. They just have to hold them and do their best to calm the baby (having mom's just worn nightgown on your shoulder is helpful too.) Even if you wean your little one- there's no guarantee that he will calm down for anyone else until he is ready to do so.

My first born was so cling-y I didn't think I would ever have a night's peace. He was at his first sleepover (at a non-relative's) last night. They do grow out of it.

not a ton of advice except to say go slowly, stay cheerful, and keep an open mind. elizabeth pantley's "The No Cry Sleep Solution" is a pretty good resource for ideas on getting your child used to the idea of falling asleep without nursing. you're actually dealing with two issues, weaning is part of it and independent sleep (self-soothing) is another. it's ok to tackle them one at a time... ie don't wean from the breast but do trend away from nursing him to sleep... or whatever. you have choices, and you'll find a way to make it work for both of you, it just takes patience.

sorry i don't have more specific tactices; i am weaning my baby right now too (for medical reasons) and it's going better than i thought it would... she will now take a bottle while falling asleep but she's not falling asleep on her own yet to be sure. all in good time.

Seems a little too young to ween from his last nurse of the night... He will be more secure if you could continue for a few more months...

In the large scheme of life this few months will seem so insignificant - My baby is 17 now and I look back and wonder why a few months really mattered...LOL....