M.F.
For what it's worth, I've heard that the nutritional and immune benefits of breastmilk diminish once baby is eating solid foods.
My daughter will be 8 months old tomorrow and has been strictly breastfed form day 1. I started her on baby food around 4 months and she is now eating food 3 times a day, while nursing about 4 times. Knock on wood, she has never been sick, no ear infections, nothing, and she's a great eater. From the beginning though, I have struggled and worked hard to keep up my milk supply although with her eating food 3 times a day now it has gradually began to diminish. (I take domperidone to help up my supply) I stay at home with her so I only pump when I need to. My daughter has also started to get very distracted while nursing as she'd rather look around and try to play. It has started to take longer and longer and become harder and harder for me to nurse her. Is that her beginning to wean herself? I know that formula isn't bad but I can't help but to feel guilty as a mom as I have started to think about switching her over to formula. I know that I can probably still nurse her if I worked hard to keep my supply up but that's so demanding. Am I being selfish in wanting to switch? It's just been 8 long months and it's started to be such a battle.
I go see the pedi today to talk with her about it, although she will likely say it's up to me and either is ok. I guess I'm just wanting some input, feedback, given the ok, or some encouragement. Tell me your story if you have gone thru the same thing. And please don't judge me. :) Thanks so much Moms!
For what it's worth, I've heard that the nutritional and immune benefits of breastmilk diminish once baby is eating solid foods.
i, for one, would think no less of a mother for switching her child to formula after 8 months, especially if you feel she is not getting enough from breastfeeding. The women in my family have a difficult time producing breastmilk, and several people (including one nurse) would lecture me after my son was born about how my formula feeding would "harm him." He is now almost four years old, intelligent beyond what is normal for his age, and - above all - HEALTHY. The formulas these days have almost the same nutritional value, and the purpose of breastfeeding is to give your child your antibodies and build their immune system..which you have done very well. I believe Enfamil has released a new formula, which is supposed to be the closest a formula has come to mother's milk. I suggest you try this.
As long as your daughter is fed and continues to grow strong, healthy, and LOVED, do not let anyone make you feel like less of a good mother for switching to formula.
And kudos to you for caring enough about your daughter to consider for one moment that maybe breastfeeding isn't the best thing for the two of you.
Let me know how the pediatrician visit goes!
(by the way, i am expecting child number 2 in November, and have already been told I cannot breastfeed. However, I am confident this child will thrive on formula as well as my son did!)
I'm really surprised at the other responses. Quit if you want to quit??? Give me a break! You're a stay at home mom of ONE kid! You have 4 months to go until your dd is one. I PROMISE you can stick it out that long! And I also promise you that it is SO worth it if you do! Did you know that the MINIMUM recommendation now is that a baby is exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months? And by exclusively they mean no solids. You are doing a GREAT job...you're in the home stretch...don't give up now!!! And praise God your baby has never been sick or had ear infections. My sis quit nursing her baby at 9 months b/c "it just got too hard" and since then her ds has had one ear infection after the other. Stick with it! You'll regret it if you don't!!!
I tried like crazy in the beginning to breastfeed my daughter. Pumping all the time, taking vitamins to increase supply and it just nevered worked. I felt horrible when I finally gave up, but after I did and saw the change in my daughter, it was well worth it. If you are stressed when you feed her, she can sense that and that could be what is taking longer to feed. My daughter never really latched on well and I think it was because of stress. When we switched to a bottle and formula, I was more calm when I fed her and she ate like crazy and all the fight and distraction on her part was gone. I think there is so much pressure out there for mom's to breastfeed until 1 year, which is great if you can do it, but if you can't or don't want to I think there is unneccesary guilt. Formula has come a long way and you gave your baby a great start with the 8 months you already been breastfeeding. Decide what is good for you and your daughter and do it and don't let other's opinions affect you.
It's perfectly normal for an 8 month old to start getting distracted while nursing! My son went through it too, and yes, it was frustrating at times. People always told me to go to a quiet room, preferably dark to nurse him, but I swear he would find something he wanted to look at (usually behind him) no matter where we were.
I made myself a nursing necklace (something like this http://www.mommynecklaces.com/) - but any necklace long enough for him to reach would work - and that did help. Or I would give him something that he wouldn't normally get to play with, like my bracelet, a spoon, a new toy, and that would keep his hands and eyes busy for a little while, while he nursed.
If you're truly done, then you're done, but if you're just tired and frustrated, then you might give some of these things a try before you quit. If you have any questions or just need to chat about you, feel free to send me a private message.
No, you aren't a bad mom and it isn't selfish of you. I struggled to breastfeed because my son wasn't gaining weight. We had to start giving formula because of his weightloss, and that just hurt my milk supply even further (but at least he started to gain weight). By 8 months, I was nursing 2-3 times a day, and he would scream and push away from me at each session... I finally was frustrated and tired so I quit. That was probably the best decision I made. I was just too worked up over not being able to feed him and it felt really good to say, I'm done. He's doing fantastic now. He does get sick more (before, he would catch the colds his brother had, but they were very minor) but he is also gaining weight at an appropriate rate now.
If it is stressing you out. Quit. Stressing isn't healthy for either of you. You've done a great job, so focus on that. Good luck! (By the way, if you haven't joined a mom's group yet, I highly recommend you do. It saved me when I was a first time mom and needed help!)
You are not a bad mom. You need to decide what is best for you and your baby. Happy mommy = happy baby as well.... Baby will pick up on your stress.
Look how long you did BF and the good benefits you did provide for your baby. Kudos to you..... You should feel proud of yourself.
On a personal note, I did not BF. Talk about being judged, WOW....and that was 14 yrs ago. I have NO regrets about my choice.....it simply was not for me (or baby).
My advice is not to make your decisions based on what others think or will say. My daughter is 14 now and very healthy.
Enjoy that baby...they grow up SO fast.
Do what you want to do and don't give it a second thought. Breastfeeding is great, but only if that is what you want to do. Your daughter will be fine either way.
It's normal - she's not weaning herself, I don't think, but she is definitely noticing the world around her. I had to fight for 4 months to be able to breastfeed without pain because I got shingles 3 days after giving birth and it screwed up EVERYTHING! A lactation consultant saved my sanity and made it possible for me to breastfeed without pain. We just weaned in august after 29 months.
Don't beat yourself up - if you really are done, that's ok. But if you just feel like you're done because it's become tough, then a lactation consultant may be your saving grace. Your pedi may be able to recommend someone, or you can get a referral perhaps from where you had your baby. I gave birth in CA, so I don't have someone local to recommend, but I can always ask my person if they know how to find someone here.
Good luck! You're being a great mommy!
I nursed my son for a year. But, I did supplement with formula. I hated pumping, and I didn't have enough milk to nurse him and pump extra. He was in daycare at the time (fortunately I worked there so I nursed him on my breaks and he only needed 1-2 bottles/day). He also had formula when he stayed with family. My milk supply also went down after he started eating solids. Breastmilk is best, but there's nothing wrong with using formula. Don't feel guilty...it's better for her to get that than not getting enough breastmilk. I used Enfamil Lipil. I'm pregnant with my 2nd, and I will do the same thing (brestfeed, but supplement with formula when I'm not around).
you are not a bad mom you breastfeed for 8 months!!!!!!!!
once they start eating solids you can stop breastfeeding i stop at 5 months with my older kid ,with my twins i stop at 1 month i don't feel guilty i think i made a good choose now they are 8 months eating 3 times a day and 3 bottles a day of formula they are doing great they weight 19 pounds.
Do what is best for YOU - a happy mother is the best mother. You gave your daughter a fantastic start. I appreciate the previous posts intent - and I personally breastfed longer - but what is right for one is not necessarily right for another...
My only thought is that based on the guilt you are feeling, you might want to just continue a little longer until you are totally sure of your decision or until she turns 1... just a thought.
I quit at 6 mos just got tired of it. But my daughter was on a bottle when I could not nurse. I had a business at home so some times were not convenient. You only have two more months and she will be on regular milk anyway. By the time they are 1 they should be able to feed themselves and drink from a cup. Blessings to you but if it is a struggle and she seems not interested anymore I would think now is the time to break loose and have both your independence. Great job in her eating because I have great eaters in my day care and those picky eaters. Those picky eaters seem to be about the age of two or three. So enjoy. I only nursed my son for a month or two. I was nervous but he would not latch on and I had to use a bottle nipple on my boob for him. I had inverted nipples. Once after talking to others I learned that taking the boob and flattening it and shoving it all in the mouth they can take it better. My daughter caught on easy but she always did with everything. God Bless G. W
J., congratulations on your baby girl and on nursing so long. I'm still nursing my 13 month old daughter and remember her getting really distracted and battling her too. It seems like it may have lasted a month or so and then she got right back into happily and calmly nursing. I LOVE the neclace idea someone posted because my daughter is always playing with mine. I work full-time from 7-4 and pump once a day at work, but I still nurse her 3 times a day. Someone posted that the benefits diminish after a short while, but from what I've read, the breastmilk changes with the baby to give her what she needs. The World Health Organization (WHO) is now recommending that babies be nursed until age 2. I too have debated on when to wean her and despite everyone around me wanting me to stop, my baby and I just aren't ready. I've talked to MANY moms who regret stopping so early, but no one has ever told me that they regret nursing for too long. Please try to hang in there and I'm sure it will get better. Good luck with whatever you decide.
Hi J....I'll tell you our story.
I bf my son for 6 months. I did not bf my daughter. From day 1 she was fussy, colicy and was throwing up constantly. It was like she'd gag and choke on it. I thought maybe it was my milk, I was suffering from post partum, any ways at that moment bf was not the best thing for us. I tried for 1 week and pumped for a month. (Thats how long id rented my pump for) I had to try a few fomulas and eventually got the right one for her. And she did get over her stomach issues but it was a long few months. Also getting something for dep helped.
I loved bf my son and I bonded with him instantly and it took time with her, I felt guilty at first, I thought it was bc I didnt bf. Now 2 yrs later I can say I love both of them the same and imo they are both smart and healthy. Also he suffered from ear infections and had to have tubes put in and she has only had 2 in 2 years and has been very healthy.
You could still pump and give it in a cup or bottle. Or if you do decide to go w/formula at least they are better quality then they used to be. And dont feel guilty, that is alot of time a day you spend bf. If she isn't into it anymore it might be a waste of time, that you could spend seeing her giggle and walking isn't too far away. I was glad I quit before my son got big enough to jerk my shirt up in public or something. hth gl