Breastfeeding Advice: Always Wants to Eat, Then Always Falls Asleep

My daughter would also fall asleep as a newborn and with some training, she is now a great eater! We did have to strip her to keep her awake. But the biggest help, was to lengthen the time between feedings. She had to be really hungry to learn to eat a full meal. SO, even though you tried to feed your son, he falls asleep and 10 mins later wants to eat again, wait. Maybe hold him off 30 mins. He will definitely be awake and hungry by then and should eat more. Keep stretching the intervals. Soon he should be eating every 2-3 hours and eating a full meal. I loved the book "Baby Wise" it was so helpful to us in regard to feeding and sleep patterns. Good luck. And yes, this is so normal at this age, you just have to train them.

Read the book Baby Wise, it is awesome and very helpful, I re-read it after each of my 3 kids and it works wonders, very helpful information. All my kids slept through the night at least 13 hours by 7 weeks old.....

You need to keep that baby awake at your breast! This is the best advice both my mother and lactation consultant gave me!! The breast is not just nourishment for your child, it IS comfort - you have to un-swaddle, uncover, and undress that baby before you put him to your breast so that he stays awake long enough to fill his belly before becomming "milk drunk". You should not be spending any more than 20 minutes breastfeeding the baby - that is how long it takes a hungry newborn to feed from both breasts. WHen he starts to yell to feed, take off his hat, removed swaddling and blankets, take off his socks and any other extraneous clothing so that he is AWAKE and eating. If he is warm and held at the breast whenever he wants, he will never stay awake long enough to fill his belly.

Make sure you are allowing him to wake up before bringing him to your breast. If you pick him up at his first whimper, he will drift off too quickly. Allow him to fuss for a few minutes so that he is awake when you start. You can also do a diaper change in between breasts so that he gets woken up to finish on the other side. Undressing or uncovering him can help also. Stroking the bottom of my son's feet used to work to get him sucking again when he was starting to drift.
As far as getting him to sleep well not on you, swaddle him (with his arms at his sides) and white noise. I would suggest the book "the happiest baby on the block" by Harvey Karp. They also have a DVD if you don't have time to read the book with a newborn. It has a lot of good suggestions for getting your baby to sleep for longer stretches sooner, and also on calming a fussy baby. Just enjoy this time, they get big so quick that you will actually miss this stage, just not the lack of sleep.

My first daughter did the same exact thing. I saw some of the other responses and I hope that stripping him down or tickling his back or feet will help. If it doesn't, read on, so you can avoid what I went through. I'd recommend you head to a lactation specialist ASAP. Usually a pediatrician will wait to see the baby until he is 2-3 weeks old and if he's not gaining weight properly, its better to know now rather than a week or two from now. Stripping my daughter down or tickling her would only work for a moment or two, then she'd be fast asleep again. She would sleep for only 10 minutes or so, then wake up crying and seemingly starving. Then the whole cycle would start again. She wasn't gaining weight and my milk supply was dwindling because it wasn't being properly stimulated. The lactation consultant I worked with advised me to nurse her, pump, then give her the pumped milk. To make a long story short, this didn't work so well either because I was constantly pumping (8-12 times a day), trying to nurse or cleaning the breast pump. I felt like I was losing my mind. To make matters more complicated, my daughter had a very difficult time taking a bottle. I took her to an occupational therapist to work on her suck reflex and we had to do therapy several times a day. After 3 months of all that pumping, I weaned her and felt like an enormous weight had been lifted off of me. Nursing my second daughter was effortless in comparison. I'm not telling you all of this to scare or worry you, just to let you know that some babies are more challenging to nurse than others. I don't remember those newborn days as sweet and wonderful, but confusing, emotional and tiring. Hang in there and good luck!

Lol, sounds about right. Welcome to motherhood!! Seriously though, if you'd like him to nurse a little longer, try undressing him dowm to his diaper before you feed him so that he's not so warm and snuggly. It's harder to fall asleep when we're a little cold. You can also talk to him and tickle his foot to try to keep him awake. All babies nurse differently. Some are marathon nursers, 20-40 minutes every 3-4 hours. My daughter was a snacker. 5-10 minutes every hour. Also if he seems to be a snacker. Offer the same breast for at least 2 maybe 3 feedings in a row, then switch to the other breast for the next 2 or 3 feedings. This will ensure that he's on one breast long enough to get the hind milk. Good luck. They change all the time... just as soon as you figure out what works. The little cuties!!

I'm a mom a a 5 1/2 year old girl who nursed for 3 1/2 years with a baby due this summer. ;)

Hi P.,
Congrats on your new baby! I'm with the other Baby Wise moms. That book saved me. You and Carson will be best served if you can get him eating a big, full meal - because his little tummy will be full, and he will be able to go 3-4 hours before he is hungry again. As it is, he is snacking, so he is not getting the richer hind milk, so it's a vicious cycle. He snacks, and he is truly hungry again almost immediately, so he snacks again... the result is that you will be exhausted and he will always be hungry. And that doesn't make anybody happy! "On Becoming Baby Wise" is a quick read and is very easy to apply in real life. My first child was demand-fed and it was a nightmare. With my second I used Baby Wise and to this day she loves her schedule, eats on a regular schedule, and sleeps well (she is now 2.5).

Good luck to you!

very common for newborns, change his diaper before each feeding to wake him up, if he falls asleep, strip him down to his diaper, if he still falls asleep, use a wet washcloth on his body to wake him up

This isnt uncommon. All you can really do is try to keep him awake long enough to get his belly a little full. walk and gently bonce with the baby. When he really seems like he is falling aslepp take him off and engage with im until he is wide awake and you can start again.

Also, it is very natural for babies to sleep with their parents, that is why they are not well equiped to sleep without being cuddled. Is there anyway you can make a family bed?

It's very normal for a baby to have trouble staying awake for nursing. We did a lot of foot-tickling and back rubbing and other physical stimulation to help ours stay awake in the early days. Do a lot of skin-to-skin contact.

Your baby WILL wake up and then you'll be like, "Oh, go to sleep already" soon enough. LOL

Jen D.

My daughter would fall asleep as soon as she started to breast feed too. This went away after the first few weeks. The Lactation nurse told us to blow gently on her head or tickle her ears when she starts to drift. It worked to keep her engaged enough to continue nursing. Hope this helps-good luck!

My son is now 3 months old but did the same exact thing when we brought him home. I was told to undress him for feedings and to have skin to skin contact. If it is cold you can put a blanket over him and you but still keep the skin to skin contact. If he begins to fall asleep then you can rub his back or his foot and it will usually wake him up, you may need to do this a few times to get him to eat enough. Also keep in mind that at 8 days old his tummy is the size of a dime (that is what I was told by doctor) and they really don't need much to eat at one sitting. My son would eat for about 7-10 minutes and then he was good for awhile. As far as sleep, it helped to swaddle my son after feeding and he'd sleep pretty good. But also, at this age they wake and want to eat A LOT, this is normal. Congrats on your baby and good luck, it'll get better as he gets older.

When my daughter was a newborn she did the same thing. Our midwife suggested we take her clothes off (except diaper) and hold her skin to skin for nursing. It worked great. Having the baby feel a little cooler helps her stay awake, and apparently being skin to skin stimulates the sucking reflex.

Good luck!

Hi P.-
Congratulations on your new baby. I had similiar issues when I brought my baby girl home and it impacted her weight gain and my milk supply and we're still working on these issues (and she's two months old)! I had a lactation consultant come and she suggested that we strip her down to her diaper for each feeding and while I nursed her I would tickle her feet or her ears-all to keep her awake. If she continued to fall asleep then I would gently rub a damp wash cloth on her face. I know it sounds harsh but it kept her awake and she's an alert eater now!
Good luck-
N.

Oh, those sweet newborn days! This is pretty normal for an 8 day old baby. With my daughter I felt like all I did was sit/lay around breast feeding, but I never got any rest! To keep her awake, I tried to blow on her, tickle her face, talk to her, etc. It helped a little, but sucking can be really hard work for them and it puts them to sleep. Right now your little boy's schedule is totally disorganized, and he isn't capable of eating much at a time because he has a tiny tummy. This all adds up to feeding him all the time. I don't have much advice to make it better, only to tell you that it will pass by very quickly! Congratulations mama!

You should try and make it to a breastfeeding support group (Los Gatos Community hospital has a great one 2:30pm on Thurdays). These groups are great for these questions. When babies nurse we have a hormone in our milk that makes them drowsy (you have a similar hormone released in you...why we fall asleep early on nursing). It can take awhile for your kid to get used to this effect. Try a diaper change just before feeding to really wake your kiddo up. While nursing those first few weeks and even occasionally now at 1 year, nudge you child on the chin or cheek to wake them up. After they seem to have stopped on one side switch sides. This drowsiness is really normal and don't worry it doesn't go on forwevr. These first 2 weeks are vital for establishing your milk supply. All they seem to do is nurse and sleep. Every 2-3 hours (at minimum) is common for the first 2 weeks. Just keep waking them up until they come off or stop feeding cues when removed. Hang in there. It gets easier and quicker I promise! And there is not magic time ...some babies feed a short time and others longer.

Hi P.,

At 8 days old a baby doesn't have day and night down yet. All they need to do is sleep and nurse. My advice, and what worked wonderfully for my family, was to have a family bed arrangement where everyone is together in one big (or two) bed(s). Baby can wake up and nurse because you're right there, you get sleep without having to get out of bed every 1/2 hour, and everyone else sleeps because the time between baby stirring and baby getting what he needs is minimal. It's a win win. The one thing I knew before my first child was born was that I absolutely HAD to get sleep. If I don't I become irrational and sick - so this was my choice, regardless of what our western culture says about it, and I've NEVER regretted it. The closeness, and the security both my children exhibit because of it is rewarding to this day.
Good luck with whatever you decide! T.

Hi P.. Your son is so young. In the hospital they tell you to wake your baby up to feed. My opinion is your baby knows when he's hungry and as long as he's a healthy weight he'll let you know when he's ready to eat. Keep trying to feed him but in the first couple of visits it's normal for the baby to lose a bit of weight. I've breastfed 2 babies until they were over a year old, they're both healthy. Don't stress just listen to your motherly instincts because those are usually correct!--The Dr. will tell you of any weight concerns. Good luck.

Congratulations on your new baby!
One advice that I read and that has worked really well for me and some of my friends is this: You work towards making a cycle of eating, waketime, then sleeping. Since your baby is so young it may take a few weeks to get there but it is good for several reasons. One is what you mentioned - the baby is awake enough to get a good feeding. One is that he will sleep better if he has some wake time to digest his food before going to sleep. And another one is that he learns to go to sleep without having the breast as a prop. It really is OK to keep your baby awake for a little while even if he is gettng tired. A couple minutes more every day and you are on your way to something that is beneficial for your baby yourself.
Good luck - and good for you to be on this site asking questions already!
C.

Only 9 days ago he was warm and cozy in your belly; things will start to even out eventually, but right now you probably are and should be exhausted since he's a newborn! Cuddle him when he needs it and nurse him when he's asking for it and try to extend the nursing to 20 minutes on a breast. Do your best to make sure he's not too warm and cuddly while he's nursing each time, it will help him to stay awake. Also, slings are really awesome and you can actually nurse them while they're in one; it allows you some physical freedom to move while they nurse, cuddle you and nap. I started my younger son in one while he was less than a week old and it was great -- the kind we used is a hotsling. Also, there's a wonderful book, "So That's What They're For", by Janet Tamaro, which is about breastfeeding, I highly recommend reading it -- it will help you feel like all of this is normal, which it is! Keep up with the good nursing, it will soon feel second-nature to you!

He's probably not always hungry. If it hasn't been at least an an hour, I wouldn't feed him again. You could offer him your pinky, or a pacifier- he probably just wants to suck- and having had a binky boy and a girl who wouldn't (prefers mom to plastic!)- I would reccommend a pacifier!! Congratulations on your new baby!

PS Also try swaddling him. He can still nurse, but you might get some extended sleep out of him if you put him down.

I had the same problem with my daughter not wanting to wake up to nurse. I had to actually undress her a bit so she got a teensie bit cold and move her arms and legs around before she would nurse. Basically, all it took was a diaper change. (Partly undress, use wipes, pat bottom dry). After that, she was awake enough to get a decent nursing.

edit: Just saw the other replies, and will also totally recommend "The Happiest Baby on the Block". It is an awesome (and not very long) book that got me through the first three months.

Hi P.!
Congrats on the new baby boy! =) An 8-day old baby doesn't need a whole lot of food, and the breast is so comforting, so most babies will drift off to sleep quite fast...He's probably getting enough, and might not even want more food - just mommy! However, if you want to try getting a bit more in him, sit him up while feeding, don't lay him down, put him on your lap facing you and support his head. You can keep him awake by keeping him cool - if he's warm and comfy, he'll fall asleep.
My biggest advice though, is to let him go through the motions. If he's really hungry, he won't fall asleep! =)

P.,

How precious this time is you have with your new little one. I have 4 children - the oldest is 4.5, 3 year old twins, and a 19 month old. They were all breastfed for a year - except the youngest is finally weaning!

But what I wanted to share with you is that every child is different - even within the same family. Your baby is completely normal. They do sleep all the time. If you haven't been to the pediatritian yet for his first office visit I am guessing you have one coming up. The nurse will weigh him and the doctor will be able to tell you how much birth weight he has lost or not lost. Try not to worry, and know that the pediatritian will let you know if he needs to eat more based upon his weight.

In the mean time, here are a few tips that worked for me with the twins (they had a hard time staying awake very long too):
1. Take off the swaddling blanket when it comes time to eat - he may be so warm and comfy that he's forgetting what he needs to do.
2. The next step if that doesn't seem to keep him awake long enough (say at least 10 min), strip him down to his onesie or diaper.
3. Also try tickling his cheek or jaw area near his ear.
4. Talk to him, say his name, tickle his feet...

Be patient with yourself, P.. The best piece of advice I received from another mom is that you and your baby are perfect strangers - even though you carried him around for 9 months - it takes time to get to know his personality and vice versa.

Even though I've had 4 kids I still found that to be true with each one. Call the pediatritian's office and talk to the nurse whenever you have a question. That's what they are there for and should welcome your concerns or questions. You aren't bugging them...

I hope this helps and just know that you are doing your best. There is a certain sweetness about having your first baby - something that I will cherish always. Hold him as much as possible even when he's sleeping because before you know it he's going to want to get down and explore his world...:)

Breast milk has a hormone that relaxes both you and the baby - - - later on you will relish it's power... Hold him and cuddle him and nurse hiim all day long for months!!!

This period is soooooooo short - you wont even be able to remember it - - - lay down and cuddle with him... You aren't supposed to be sleeping right now...LOL...

I have 5 children - my oldest is going to college next year
:(

I don't remember the sleepless nights - I remember there were some - I don't remember the crying - - - I don't remember the lack of sleep - - - I have an 8 month old now - that child has been in my arms since birth - nursed 8 times a day if he wanted - sometimes more - sometimes less - - - I have to be honest of all 5 of my kids - he is the happiest, most content - and least needy.....

Enjoy your little one - you will get to sleep when he is a teenager....

I have a three week old and struggle with the same issue. I try using a cool washcloth to rub his face, also I try burping him, or getting him undressed to his diaper. Sometimes these work other times they don't and I let him sleep. As everyone says he will get more predictable as time goes by.

First - this will change as he gets older :-) My daughter did this and now, as a very active 6.5 month old with a voracious appetite that is never suppressed by sleep!

When my daughter was doing this, we learned that stripping her down to her diaper and tickling her gently while she was feeding helped her stay awake. Most little guys don't like to be naked, so this keeps them more alert. Then I would gently tickle her feet or rub her legs to keep her awake. I also did compressions on my breasts to force more milk out and into her mouth and this stimulated her feeding.

Like I said in the beginning, this is likely a temporary issue and I have a feeling that as your milk comes in stronger and stronger and Carson gets older and more alert, this will no longer be an issue.

Good luck!

My son did that and I got no sleep. If I had it to do over again, I would have given him a bottle some of the time with the hole big enough for him to get a lot (relatively) quickly. I think mine was so happy and soothed by nursing that he just fell asleep, but wasnt getting enough to eat to keep him asleep for long. You can pump or give formula. Contrary to what the breastfeeding books say, your milk will not dry up the moment you feed your baby formula. Use all the tools you have at your disposal! You will need to get sleep in order to priduce milk. Write back to me if you want some encouragement!

M.

P., congratulations on your new baby!

Some other things that worked for me in terms of keeping my newborn awake at the breast were tickling her nose or, if she was really out cold, a cool washcloth rubbed on her head.

Hope that helps!

Please, please be patient!!! Only 8 days out of the womb!
His little systems are just getting going and this behavior
is natural. Be sure he is latching on well and do not bundle him up while feeding. Tickle his feet or rub his legs to keep him stimulated to suck. It takes time for mommy and baby to get into a routine and to adjust to each other. Having a baby means sacrifice...even sleep. You need to nap during the day when he does to make up for the loss of sleep during the night. Sometimes at this age, and if they are a bit of a lazy eater, you have to nurse every 1 1/2 to 2 hours. It is wonderful that you are nursing, if you even just do it for the first 3 months. Keep at it and just be patient with yourself and your new son carson. You have been given a beautiful blessing from god. It is awesome....enjoy being a mommy and give him lots of love!

Hi P.,
Hang in there, your both new at this! My son did the same and I found that if I wore him in a baby bjorn type front pack I could monitor his 'signals' a little better. Turned out he just plain old wanted to be held and not necessarily fed! He would eat from one side only and fall asleep, so I pumped the other to save for daddy to feed to him later. Made for great bonding time for them & I could grab a shower or a nap! Remember, your little guy just came from a nice, warm, cozy, small space, where he could hear your heartbeat, that may be all he needs. My son is now 12 and still loves to just cuddle sometimes and prefers my left side, closest to my heart!

P.,

I went through the same experience and fortunately the nurses were able to help us. I really felt as though I was a horrible mom. What they told me was the same as other responses. Don't put a blanket on your baby, strip down to a diaper. They even told my husband to get his hands really cold and place them upon him to keep him awake. Basically, the suckling is a learned experience and they will drink enough to fill their belly and fall asleep and wake up again in a few, which does you no good. The one thing they did for me which taught my son to suckle was taped a feed line to my breast that was connected to a bottle. I would hold the bottle up which would allow the milk to flow down and forced him to suck and swallow and wouldn't allow him to sleep. Gradually, I would lower the bottle and he would suckle and stay awake on his own. This is probably something that you would need to get from a lactation specialist or your pediatrician. I really hope all of this will help you out. I wish you the best of luck and much needed rest in the future.

We had the same issue in the hospital and the nurse suggested we make the baby stay awake. Have your husband (or mother or sister) tickle your sons ear, cheek, feet, etc.
Hang in there! You're doing great!

At 8 days old it is hard to say what is going on- I would suggest nursing him when ever he wants it- offering it to him the moment he wakes up which may be when he is the most awake. Try sleeping with your baby, that way you can stay in bed and keep nursing if he wants to- It takes time to find a rythem of nursing and sleeping- He has only been out in world for one week- give it some time
congrats and good luck

hi P.! congratulations!!!!
so in regards to carson... how long does he actively nurse for? You want him to be on for a good 20 mins. minimum if not more. I would suggest really waking him up before you place him to breast, change his diaper, unswaddle, rub his back, tickle his toes- make him uncomfortable in a nice way of course. If he's really awake he'll nurse for longer amounts of time, thus giving you a longer break between feeds. while he's on the breast keep him stimulated throughout the 20+mins.
If he nurses well, I would suggest talking to your pediatrician about the use of a pacifier. Some babies like to have something to suck on, because that's what they were doing in utero. They are familiar with the sucking motion and it makes them feel safe, in essence it reminds him of being inside you. So his rooting cues may just be mean: I want to suck on something but i'm not really hungry cues.
Good luck!!! it will get better.

Have you tried giving him a bath, or taking off all his clothes to keep him awake? When we were trying to get our daughter to sleep without us, we put her down for naps in her crib and we let her cry it out. Honestly, the best advice anybody gave me on getting them used to sleeping without you was just to let them cry, eventually they will fall asleep. My daughter would cry for up to an hour, then we'd take her out, nurse again, rock and try it over. We also played classical music or some type of soft music to calm and distract. Good luck!