Brand New Serious Relationship

I would slowly break in bringing in your boyfriend into the picture full time. I think just moving in completely would be a bit of a shock for your son. Try like going on weekend trips with all of you or a full day somewhere. Your son could get jealous if it has been just you two for quite some time. If you absolutely trust your boyfriend, let them have some guy time around the house while you run errands or something. I mean ABSOLUTELY trust him with your child.. you can't be too careful these days.

Praying for you,

J. S.

For what it is worth, I agree with Lorie. One other thing, and I don't mean to sound judgemental but you said you only met him earlier this year. If it were just you then it would be different, but since you do have to consider your son I think you should slow down and give it a good solid year before you do anything such as moving in or marriage. I honestly don't want to sound negative. I admit that I moved in with my husband before we were engaged and before we even knew each other a year - but there were no children involved then. I know you are so in love right now that you do feel sure, but I truly think you should just give it some time. As others suggested, maybe a vacation or some weekend trips in the meantime would be a good idea. Good luck.

I have to agree with the last couple of posts. Wait a while longer to get your son use to being around your new boyfriend. It is going to take time for him and you want to do this slowly for his sake. After your son gets to the point where he feels way comfortable with your boyfriend, then talk about moving in or getting married. With having a child involved I think things are just different and you cannot rush into anything. Once everyone is happy think about getting married if you are both in love then why not make a commitment to each other. It probably is way to soon for that right now, but if you wait a while then it might be the right time. I am very happy for you that you are in love again and it can be wonderful the second time around, but please just be careful with your little ones feelings.

If you really love this guy and he really loves you and your child then why not get married? You don't have to have some big humongous wedding but going through the process of being engaged, preparing for the wedding, your son participating in the wedding, etc, it would be much easier for your son to understand that he has a new daddy. And, if either of you aren't "ready" to get married, then why would you put your son through the heartache of experiencing a possible breakup? I'm speaking from experience....my stepdaughter has had 2 serious boyfriends that she's lived with (neither of them her son's father, one of them her daughter's father) and I have watched her children become more and more detached from people that care for them. They believe that people that love them, leave them. How tragic!! I'm sure you're anxious to start your life together and you're totally in love...I remember those days. I was 31 when I got married and we got engaged and we were going to have a huge wedding then a couple of days later I decided wanted my life to start with my husband then ---not in a year!!! So, we got married 2 weeks later. (And, I wasn't pregnant---haha--some people thought that's why we got married!)

Your son needs to see a beginning, an embarkation point, that's what a wedding does....moving suitcases and boxes in to your home, that isn't a starting point....can you understand his confusion.

I'm not trying to lecture....I just think everybody thinks today that you have to live together....you don't!! Did you know that twice as many couples breakup that are living together versus people that are married? Something to think about....if you really love this guy, don't you want everything to be exactly right for you and your son? I pray that God will give you patience and wisdom to make the right decision for your family.

Children usually accept getting married easier then the boyfriend moving in. Also, that is not a very good example to set for your child. Moving in is not the same as getting married. If you two are engaged then that might be different, but are you? I am not trying to be harsh. I have been there. I have been a single mom to my son since he was 1 and he is now 7. The truth is you don't know what could happen. If he loves you so much then he can wait to move in with you until the two of you are married and can set a good example for your son. Besides, that would also get him used to the other guy and his mom getting married, which kids understand better.

I would slow way down and wait longer to move in together. If you just met him earlier this year then it's WAY too early to move in together given your son is so young. You will end up doing major emotional damage to your son.

Kids that age don't understand marriage and what that means, so I don't like the advice of Go Ahead and Get Married because then your 4 yr old will understand. He's NOT going to understand regardless if you get married or not. What he DOES understand is your BF moving in. Marriage isn't going to help your son. Slowing Down is what is best for your son and if your BF is really 'it' then he will understand that too and will slow everything down.

You're going down a risky road. Tread carefully...

I think I agree with the marriage thing. If you gave your son the opportunity to be involved in the wedding, maybe he would understand and be more accepting of him. He would feel like he was still a part of everthing. It sounds like he hasn't been around your son much. Moving in would be a huge shock to him, as he doesn't really know him very well. Good luck, congrats to you.