Boy Spitting in Pre-K

At their age it is not bullying at all. This is very much age appropriate behavior. I'd talk to the teacher about it and go from there.

I'm surprised to see people calling this bullying. Kids that young don't bully. They have bad manners, yes, and dumb things they do that they think are funny and need to be addressed and unlearned, but it's not bullying. Yes, discuss it with the teacher, and be firm about the teacher and teacher's aides keeping an eye out for this and stopping it. It's gross and unsanitary, and your son shouldn't have to put up with it. You can also ask the teacher to set up a parent/teacher conference with you and the other child's parent/s and discuss it that way. I agree with the person who said to teach your son to yell, "Stop spitting on me!", as that will certainly get the teacher's attention. If you don't get anywhere with the teacher, meet with the principal.

Kids that age don't bully. We have a son with ADHD and he was also spitting at that age (among other symptoms) before he got treatment. We asked the specialists specifically about whether he could be a bully (we were mortified by the behavior, by the way) and they said it's just too young. It's an impulse control problem, not a bullying problem. I know it's hard to feel this way, but feel sorry for that boy because this may be something he can't control.

I would take up any concerns with the teacher. Enlist his/her support in trying to keep this boy away from your son. Don't have your son "stick up" for himself; instead, he needs to tell a teacher when the boy starts spitting and do what he can to stay away from him. The parents are being informed about what's going on and talking to them personally will just make them feel worse. It's best to leave it to the school to talk to them.

Good luck!

Gotta love kindergarteners - they'll try anything! Yes, you need to let the teacher know what's going on. Spitting is not in the kindergarten curriculum. Your son can say, "I don't like that! Don't do that!" I don't know if spitting is an official part of bullying, but it is certainly socially unacceptable, not to mention tacky and unsanitary. Don't be scared of it; it's just one of many adventures you'll be having as your son grows up.

YES tell the Teacher.
Why not?
I would.
The Teacher, should ALSO talk the the entire class... about appropriate proper behavior and how spitting is NOT allowed.
That is what my Daughter's Teachers do.

Just teach your son... how to speak up, how to Tell the Teacher of any wrong doing... how to tell other kids "Stop. That is not nice. I am going to tell the Teacher" or teach him how to step away... and go play with someone else.

There is no "time" to teach a kid that... I always taught my kids that from 2 years old... in age appropriate ways.... in time, then they learn... and get better at it..... And also role-play with your son... scenarios....

Oh and YES... kids that age CAN and do Bully. My daughter in Pre-school... had 2 Bullies in her class. Two. I saw it... they did it to my daughter too. It was fully ON purpose... pushing/shoving/name calling/ostracizing a kid... and just MEAN. YES... kids that age... CAN and Do... Bully. Contrary to what others say.
Even my Daughter's Preschool Teacher... called it "Bullying."
One of those kids, got kicked out.

all the best,
Susan

I would tell the teacher ASAP.

Hello, I would go to the teacher and tell her/him what your son has told you. He is probably too young to understand that he can tell the teacher. I would teach him to stand up for himself and tell other children when they are doing something that is affecting him. He can say something as simple as, "I don't like it when you spit at me." Later, you can teach him to say how it makes him feel. We always taught our kids to "use their words". I had a licensed daycare in my home for most of the years mine were growing up, therefore, they had to learn to stand up for themselves (as well as the daycare children). If telling the teacher doesn't stop it, I would go and tell her/him again. If that doesn't stop it, go to the director. I would also tell your son that if him telling the child doesn't stop it, to go to the teacher.
Good luck with your precious son.
K. K.

HI J.-
I had something similar, yet different, lol... My son came home one day and told me that a boy he hangs out with, we will call him Jeff.. asked him to try to eat some hair. My stomache was so upset because it is so gross. I asked him more details and they were in the bathroom and Jeff picked up some hair off the floor and ate, and asked my son to try it. HOW GROSS............ anyways I talked to the director and she said they would take care of it. They sat down with Jeff and explained how dirty and unhealthy it is to do that. They were so good and calm talkng with Jeff, that it has never happened again. Kids just dont undersand how some things are unsanitary and unclean. Once they know, for the most part they dont do again. Its good your son comes to you and tells you about his day. And talk to him about talking to the teacher, and its good he tells you!
Good Luck!

They are little but spitting is NOT acceptable. I would talk to the teacher so she can "catch him in the act" so to speak. Also, kids tell a lot of tales in Pre-K so make sure this is really happening. Teach your child to claim his own power by using "I" statements: I don't like that. I want you to stop. I asked you two times, now I'm going to tell Mrs. X" etc.

Spitting is gross and spitting on other people is disgusting!
Definitely address this with the teacher. Don't wait.
You need to let your son know it's perfectly okay for him to say, loudly, "Don't spit on me!" and, tell the teacher.
The teacher needs to be aware this is going on so that she can deal with the behavior as well as the other parents. I would give her a chance to talk to them about it as opposed to you approaching them.
If it still doesn't stop, then you have to take a different approach.
My son was in the 7th grade when a kid in his class spit in his face because he was a total jerk and he liked shoving other kids and when shoving didn't get him anywhere with my son, he spit. My ex husband and I both made sure it was dealt with and we received an apology not just from the kid, but from his parents as well. He had to serve detention and almost got suspended for it.
The boys are friends now and get along very well. That was 3 years ago and obviously there is quite a difference in ages between the two scenarios. We didn't come unglued or anything, but the spitting happened only one time. It was dealt with.
Hopefully the spitting habit can be broken because it really is rude and I would like to think the parents don't condone it.
The teacher, I'm sure, won't.

I wish you the best.