Boy - Kindergarden Readiness Question

M.,

I'll start off by saying that I am a mom of two girls - so I don't have experience with the boy angle...

I don't believe in holding children back UNLESS there is an educational reason to do so, such as a premie, learning disability, etc. I don't think that an Aril birthday is late. A July or August, yes, but April is very much in the range of "normal" for his peers.

Of course, ask his teachers how he is. It's only March now, so you have 5 months to "get him ready" for whatever new adventures Kindergarten holds.

Encourage him to act his age. If he acts like a 2 yr old, treat him like one! No picking his own snacks. Naps. Losing simple privileges HE gets that his younger sibling doesn't. Once he realizes that it's not COOL to be a "baby" then you can really start treating him like "a big boy".

Start by laying his clothes out the night before, encourage him to get dressed while you do, buy him a "new" tooth brush/tooth paste so he can "do it himself" and then you check his work.

If he regresses, here and there, remind him of what privileges he will loose. This worked GREAT with my older daughter when she "regressed" because she thought being a baby was cooler, got more attention, etc.

I don't doubt for one second that boys and girls have different developmental levels at different ages. I don't doubt that girls seem to have an ability to sit still, have better fine motor (meaning printing skills) and interest in arts and crafts...boys appear to be more physical (meaning rough housing/running around), more interested in building/cars/how things work and more even keeled emotions. I don't think that justifies keeping kids out of school for the grade they are chronologically ready for. I think teachers are VERY aware that different kids have different needs and different learning styles. Kindergarten is a BIG year of change for all kids. Your son will be fine. Just start expecting more from him now.

I hope this helps!

My son is going to be 5 in July.I will send him to Kindergarten.He is in Pre-school and never wants to go,but when he is there he seems happy.He is very shy.
He will even go to a full time Kindergarten.
My older son now 15 years, he was not ready for Kindergarten, but I send him,anyways. And eventually he was fine.It turned out, he had Asperger's ,so thinks were more complicated to begin with.
I think you never really now.I would send my child and see.You can always pull him out,if there would be a problem.
I'm from Germany,they start first grade at age 5 and so far I hear good thinks from my friends.
Good luck...............

Unless there is a learning disability I would not hold back a boy with an April birthday. I have 4 boys, 14,12,10 and 4. The 12 year old has a September birthday, so he was held back because he missed the deadline. He has kids in his class, 6th grade, that have Jan, Feb, March and April birthdays and they were held back. There is a 2 year age range in his class and it is not good.

I would talk to his preschool teacher. He might act that way just at home and be fine in a school situation. I believe that too many people hold their boys back for sports reasons and while they might excel in sports (if they play by grade and not age) it doesn't work well academically.

That's my opinion. I'm sure there are others out there who disagree and that's ok.

I would see what the teacher thinks. It is possible he is needy at home because he can be. My son was very much like this. We had many changes while my kids were in preschool-2 girls and a boy. My son started to refuse to stop what he was doing to use the bathroom. He would not let ANYONE else touch him or help him change. I had to got to the school. He also tended to be needier than the girls. He went on to kindergarten just like they did. Now at 9 yrs, he is in a special advanced learning class with one of his sisters. One thought though, is it possible he is needier at home because he lost some attention to his younger sibling? Ask the teacher how he is in class. Is he more willing to do things himself or does he always need help? How is he with getting along with the other kids in a group? 1/2 day at Kindergarten should be okay for him. You won't really be changing his routine too much.

I posted a similar question a few weeks ago and got 50 some responses! Clearly this is an issue parents put a lot of agonizing thought into and feel passionately about their decision.

We received the most helpful input from his preschool teachers about how our son functions in the classroom both academically and socially. I would keep gathering information and watch how he does in group settings...what age kids does he naturally migrate towards?

At this point, we decided to register our son for a third year of preschool at a Spanish immersion school *AND* register him for kindergarten. You know how Chicago is...you need to get your spot now or you won't have options! We'll pull him from one of the programs, and lose our deposit, but we think that's a small price to pay for having 8 more months to see how our son develops.

Best of luck!

I've heard that too. As a matter of fact, my son had a very challenging time with his speech. Socially he was fine and and his large and motor skills were very good. He stayed in speech until he was in second grade and, now, has no problems. He has an end of May birthday. I know one of my neighbor held their son back who has a Late Spring birthday. She felt, socially, he just wasn't ready. My daughter in Kindergarten was more mature and scholastically ready, I am happy that I sent my son and couldn't really justify NOT sending him, just because of a late birthday.

If the benefits outweigh the cons, only then would I do it. I can see the boy in the neighborhood this year - he's a year behind his peers in school but don't really think scholastically, he would have been behind because he is a smart boy- he's still in Jr. High and his friends are in High School.

Good luck.

I have two boys with late birthdays.....so they have started kindergarten at late 5. I think that waiting is the best way ( at least for me). Although still keep him enrolled in PreK an extra year. I have noticed that they are such better students and much more mature and well mannered than the younger children in their class and I have actually spoken to their teacher about this and she agrees. Boys just need a little extra time to mature. You do not want his immaturity to disable him when it comes to learning. Both children of mine were already recogizing words and the early stages of reading when they approached kindergarden so they did have a slight advantage to the other children anyway. Good luck on making your decision. Who knew that being a parent would be so stressful! Again good luck!

A lot can happen maturity-wise for your son between now and Kindergarten. I would speak to his pre-school teacher and ask for suggestions on what you can work on with him to get him ready. Unless there is some type of learning disability, I don't think you should hold him back. Kids start at all levels at the beginning of Kindergarten, but everyone is basically on the same page when they graduate.

You can work on getting him to dress by himself. Make it a game: who can get dressed the fastest? Winner gets a sticker! Or say things like, "if you don't get your clothes on, you'll go to school in your pajamas." Make sure you follow-through. He might get tired of "winning the argument" and start to dress himself when you tell him.