Books to Explain Toddler Behavior to a School-aged Child?

I suggest there is no way to explain toddler behaviour to a 7yo sibling. The 7 yo is reacting emotionally. Explaining is intellectual. I suggest that you focus on his feelings when he complains. "I think you feel picked on by sister" might be a response. "It's OK to be angry." Validate his feelings. Sympathize. Touch his shoulder. Let him see that you understand him instead of trying to get him to understand sister. Let him vent without trying to change the way he feels.

If you're concerned about how he treats sister, teach him acceptable ways to respond. Perhaps give him words to use. He could say, "I'm angry with you" and come to you for help or go to another room. You could listen to his complaint; give him options to resolve the issue after he's finished venting. One could be that, with your support, he could tell sister how he feels. When you grabbed my toy, I was angry. You could then give him back the toy. You could talk for sister to say how she feels or to interpret why this happened. Brother was playing with that. You can play with it later. Or this is brother's toy. He's the only one who can play with it. Words such as "that hurts brother when you hit him. Do not hit him." Clue brother in to what to do when such and such happens. Be understanding of both kids viewpoint while.talking with them.

Some parents expect the older one to understand the younger and not get upset. The older one resents that. He has as many rights as she does. Yes, protect her from getting hurt. Teach him how to play with her. Let him know his feelings are as important as hers.

Separate them. Be sure to give brother a way to play sometimes without little sister bugging him. I have 2yo and 4yo granddaughters. They often play separately. One in the bedroom and one in the living room. When we see one of them trying to play with the other, we remind them sister wants to play alone now. We redirect the 2yo when she insists on playing. You're teaching both of them how to get along. You'll be teaching about actions and how they make them feel and what they can do instead of fight. They'll still fight. That's what siblings do. You will be supporting both of them as they learn to name their feelings and deal with them.

When you're doing something with the 7yo, have a casual conversation letting him know you sympathize. "I wonder if you wish you were an only child like before." Perhaps have him tell you the ways being the only one was better. Talk about the ways it's nice to have a brother or sister. Just listen. Don't teach. Sympathize. He will calm down and eventually more understanding, when he doesn't have to defend himself; when he feels you are listening and care about him.

I suggest reading How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and How to Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and ?. The authors help parents understand how kids feel and give us words to use.

All I ever did was told stories to my older kids about what they did that drove me up the wall when they were that age. Once they realized they were no better, sometimes worse, they just held onto the new stories and didn't let it bother them so much.

I really don't think a book is going to solve that because a seven year old isn't very old either. They will just see a book as blah blah blah some other baby did this so what.

I will tell you one thing I did as well. There is eleven years between my girls. When my older daughter was being a teen, just awful, moody, awful, did I mention awful? I told her I can't wait until her little sister was 13 and she could see how awful she is being right now! I remember her coming home one at the 23 and going oh my god what a brat!! Yeah, remember when you were 13 and I said....

Toddler behavior is a bit of a mystery to everyone - it even takes their parents by surprise.
7 yr olds are better - but they have their moments too.
There might not be a book for this purpose.
But it might help your 7 yr old if you talked about some of the things HE did as a toddler - kids love hearing stories about themselves.
And then you can say that when his sister is older he can tell HER stories about what she's doing now.

Also - be sure to give your 7 yr old a break from your 2 yr old from time to time.
Kids sometimes need their own space and siblings that are together constantly just grate on each other.
Your 7 yr old should be able to go to his room to get away from her and she shouldn't be allowed in his safe space.
Same thing for when she wants to get away from him.

I tell stories to my older son (5 years older than his sister) about when he would do the exact same thing, and that this is normal behavior for a young kid that age. He still gets annoyed with his sister and they are ages 11 and 6. I still have to remind him how he used to do such and such when he was 6. They either are loving on each other or annoyed with each other in life.

Tales of a 4th Grade Nothing by Judy Blume and the other Fudge stories. I don't know if your 7year old will get a different perspective, but when my daughter was that age she loved hearing about all the trouble Fudge caused.

(the coauthor of the book Marda suggested is "Mazlish")

I have to agree that it's really hard to make an emotional child think intellectually about this.
The suggestion of funny books like Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing might be funny, the same with the early Ramona Quimby (Beverly Cleary) books. Even if just to provide some comic relief and spend a little quality time reading together. It also give him space to talk about his own frustrations.
When I was working with siblings as a nanny, one of the things I find helpful is to teach the younger ones the habits of consideration as the older one. This means being your toddler's voice "Todd, can I play with your (toy)?" --- help your younger one to ask for toys instead of taking them. Teach your younger one to respect the older one's space. Let the older one find a way to keep his creations in a safe place and allow them to build/construct/play in space where the younger child cannot disturb what they are doing.

This could be accomplished by putting a safety gate in the door of the older child, or gating off the doorway between two rooms. You want to make sure your older child isn't 'banished' to their room to play, so figure out how to be inclusive of both. Sometimes this means using the pack and play, a small stroller, high chair or other containment device when your little one won't leave the older one alone. Give the toddler something fun to do -- toys, playdough, books to look at, a sensory pan of water or beans on the floor-- when they are trying to disturb their older brother.

And then praise your son every time you see him doing something kind or understanding for his younger sibling. "I know you were playing with that and you were very kind to share." And empathy: "Wow! You were working hard on (activity) and then he came and knocked it down. I'd be frustrated too, sweetie.I'm really sorry that happened. What would you like to do now?" Help your son figure out his own solution to try. Give him a chance to do some proactive problems solving as well before starting an activity ("Where do you think you want to do this? Should we do it at the table? Do you want some space in your room or the living room?" "What's your plan for if toddler wants your toys?" Offer choices whenever possible.) Teach your child to be aware of-- and anticipate-- those interruptions from their sibling and help them decide ahead of time what their options are.

I stopped trying to explain the younger ones' behavior - in one ear and out the other with my older kids. Even showing them videos from when they were little didn't help.

I've not heard of a book but not sure that would have helped mine - I think here it's more about asserting that they are older. Because I have some that are close in age, and they do it also. In fact, it's almost worse. I have two who are very close in age, and the older one is constantly pointing out how immature the younger one is.

I just let them sort it out themselves as much as possible. I always say "Well, you can always leave" if one of them is annoyed with the other. Meaning, they can go to their room, downstairs, outside, etc. And because I don't always want to appear to side with the younger ones, I will step in if they are being really annoying. I will say "they won't want to hang out with you if you ....".

I like Marda's advice. Don't always expect them to appreciate each other and they will get annoyed - so they can separate when they need to. I learned a good lesson a while back from this site - from the best advice question - mirroring how they are feeling. So I now am trying to listen more when they complain. So my older ones feel at least like someone cares they are annoyed. Even if I do nothing about it, just to be heard I think makes them feel a bit more validated. Because they are older and they want to be taken seriously.

Good luck :) good question. I'm sure many of us can relate!