Biting, Pinching, Pulling Mom's Hair

Updated on March 24, 2008
G.L. asks from Annandale, VA
5 answers

My 16 month old is biting me,with his emerging chompers on shoulders, chest, breast. He pulls my hair.He pinches me till it broke the skin.I ahve said stop, no, ouch, this hurts mom, I've slapped his hand, I've offerred him his own hand to chomp....Help

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H.P.

answers from Washington DC on

My son has some oral sensory integration issues, and this one was a very hard one to break.

I finally started asking him if he needed me to bite him to show him how much it hurt.

If he continued biting, I would bite him a little, just enough for his face tos how a reaction. It only took one or two times of that before asking the question was enough.

I never just bit him back. I always framed it in the way "you don't seem to know that this hurts Mommy. I don't think you want to hurt Mommy. Do you need to know how that feels to me?"

He doesn't bite me anymore. He now only bites his "biting toy" which is a vibrating teether we got at Safeway. Now, if he looks like he needs to bite something, we get him that and he chomps happily on it.

He's 3 now, and doesn't need it as much, bit every now and then we need to break it out.

H.

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S.O.

answers from Washington DC on

When my son went through the biting stage, I tried doing the same things you mentioned, to no avail.

I ended up pretending that he hurt me enough to make me cry...and sometimes he really did, especially when he was supposed to be nursing. I would stick out my bottom lip in the best pout I could muster, then I would cry (or at least pretend to cry) and I would point to the spot where he bit me and then say, "Booboo!" He would get VERY upset to see me react that way. I also bought a book called, "Teeth Are Not For Biting" and we read that a good number of times. I think both helped, because he eventually stopped doing it.

Good luck!

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Y.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I would give him a very stern look and say "no!" and everytime he does it, take his hands away and say "no!" repeat this. They learn from repitition.

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B.E.

answers from Washington DC on

I have a 16 month old, and I just went through this. I didn't know WHAT to do . . . I tried all the things you mention. Then my friend, who has a Autistic son, mentioned that I should just ignore the behavior and my daughter wouldn't find it fun anymore. Her son has a number of behavior problems and his therapist really pushes the "ignoring tactic" as one of the most effective behavior modifiers. As soon as I started ignoring my daughter's behavior (I would gently move her hand away when she started to pinch, but not say anything or look at her) I saw a reduction in the pinching. Now, about 2 weeks later, she will occasionally try it (usually when tired) but not nearly as much. The attention I was giving her with all the NO's was actually a payoff for her. Good luck!

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M.P.

answers from Washington DC on

Does he do it when he's trying to get your attention? For example, are you busy with something else and he comes up and bites or pinches you? And of course that gets your attention? If so, I would pick him up as soon as he does it and put him in his crib telling him, "Mommy has to do other things sometimes. You are hurting me, so I am putting you on timeout." Understanding that when he does the behavior, he gets less attention rather than more might curtail it.

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