Biting at Daycare - Fort Worth,TX

K.,
I have a friend who would put vinegar on her child's tongue when they would bite or say ugly words. It worked for her, she called it a tongue spanking..:).
L.

You need a consequence that is used immediately. Punishment after the fact is too confusing. Yes, in daycare, a biter is my closest friend. I stay right with them to break the habit, by preventing it from happening and helping them find other ways to vent their frustration. I don't know if that's possible in a center. You'd have to discuss it with the teachers.

I loved the idea of the vinegar on the tongue. In the *dark ages* we used a tongue swipe of ivory soap and a washcloth to wipe it off as a punishment for anything *dirty* or *bad* that the mouth is used for. Thus, *washing your mouth out with soap*. It even worked for the little ones who could not communicate with words. But a daycare provider is not allowed to use that type of punishment.

First of all, biting at her age is completely normal, so don't get too worked up about it. I'm the mom of a biter and a bitee, I think it's harder being the mom of the biter!
Second, punishment really doesn't help with a two year old biter, education and paying attention to the triggers are much more effective.

Sit down with your daycare director and go through how they handle biting. There are a variety of methods from ignoring (not really effective) to expulsion (also not effective). In my experience the best was shadowing - if a child bites twice in a day they have to spend the rest of the day within arms reach of a caregiver. That helps the caregiver keep a close eye on the child for triggers which can help with future behavior.

She might be teething. Two year molars can be painful, both my kids bit when their's were coming in.

There are also several books that might help. "Hands are not for Hitting", "No Biting", etc. We read "No Biting" every night for months - my son could recite it by the time he was 3 and still remembers it at 5.

Talk to her about it. Ask her why she bites. See if there is a pattern at school: same time of day, same toy, same child, same activity, etc. There may be something going on that's upsetting her and the teachers don't recognize it. Remember that another child sitting on her blue circle at circle time isn't a big deal to an adult but might be earth-shattering to a two year old. If you can identify a pattern you can work to prevent the behavior - and your daycare should be your partner in this.

Whatever you do, don't reward the behavior. Taking off work early to "show her how serious it is" just teaches her that if she bites Mommy comes to get her and she gets to go home!

Good luck, and remember the phase will pass!

What is the back story today? Was she bit before she bit back? Then you can't punish her for defending herself. Talk to the daycare esp. since it started at their facility and was learned from other kids there. What are they doing when this happens? Are the kids in timeout? Taken away from the fun acitvities/toys? You and they have to be consistent in what you do to all the kids. If other kids are biting then you are fighting a losing battle.

How verbal is she? Can you talk to her? Try bribing her for a day with no bites. nothing big. Perhaps she gets a dollar stoer gift or her fave dinner. Soemthing to make her think about it before she acts.

Here are some articles for some other ideas.
http://pediatrics.about.com/od/biting/Stopping_Toddler_Bi...

Good luck.