My son has always been a biter but has only bit me, my husband or his grandma and today he bit his 4 month old sister :-( We've tried saying no bite and then walking away from him and ignoring him. Over reacting to being "hurt" and saying "that's not nice. you hurt me" and now to time outs (this biting has been going on for over a year and a half so we switched up tactics after things wouldn't work after a few months).
Any tips or suggestions? I know he is cutting two of his two year molars right now and the biting does seem to get more frequent when he's teething. i've tried giving him freeze pops to help ease his gum pain but i think that's just giving him sugar and it's not really helping. I'm terrified he's going to start biting at school (he's in day care part time).
Please help!
Thank you for all the advice. I can't imagine it is something medical as he has never had a single ear infection but I do plan to bring it up at his two year appt. in a few weeks. In the meantime we will remove him from the situation and continue to deal with it as we have been. I know he'll get it eventually!
I agree with ruling out any medical issues first. And as unorthodox as it seems, giving them a gentle, little nip will do the trick. Even at the age of two, sometimes reality therapy is the best solution. You need to not be aggressive or angry when you do it. Just the next time he chews on you, chew on him. He'll get the message.
Please, please, please before you start punishing, make sure you have ruled out any and all medical problems. Our son (now almost 20 years old) was a biter and what we found out was that he had chronic ear infections and fluid build up NOT ALWAYS SEEN BY THE DOC. Biting was relieving the pressure.
And then because of the fluid he was not hearing well and therefore not hearing and learning the words he needed to express his frustrations.
Good Luck
As a last resort, after trying everything, we used a bar of soap in the mouth and it worked!
We had twins that were biting each other. Before soap, we tried extinction (ignoring it), time out, making them hug and say sorry, taking away toys, yelling, and spanking. The soap has to be immediately afterwards and try and get a non-poisonous kind live Ivory.
I absolutely love my pediatrician, she is very level headed, sweet and calm. But when my son started this and almost drew blood on my leg she suggested to put something terrible tasting in his mouth any time he did this, hot sauce, lemon juice etc. I was fortunate that the time he did bite me that hard was the last time. And in that scenario I did pop him (not hard) on the mouth. And sternly told him "NO! Biting hurts mommy" And showed him my "boo-boo" later. I felt awful, but it did the trick for me. biting is a terrible pattern you really want to break, so just keep trying!
My son would bite his older sister and (much more rarely) try to bite me or my husband. I did / still do time-outs but I don't really think that worked. He has a really bad temper and, unfortunately, that was how he expressed it. He would also hit and scratch, which we also punished with time-outs. I don't think the time-outs did much to discourage this behavior; I mostly did it because I didn't know what else to do. I tried talking to him about it, getting him to stomp or hit a pillow instead, even asked him to bite himself so he would know how it felt (which he did). However, I can't remember the last time he tried to bite anyone. He still hits but it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be. I think he just needed time to outgrow it.
Very normal for this age. I had the same problem and time outs didn't always seem to work. They say after the bite, you pay full attention to the person that was bitten and not the biter. Sometimes kids will bite just to get the attention, so if you don't give them the attention....
There is a great board book out there called "Teeth Are Not For Biting" by Elizabeth Verdick. We would read this to our son daily and he seemed to understand...it's worth a try.
How are your son's verbal communication skills? Young children often bite when they are frustrated and want to say something but, cannot get their words out. If he has delayed speech or anything like that, it may be why he is biting. It sounds like he could be frustrated about teething, since he mouth hurts he is using his mouth to bite, maybe to tell you that it hurts? I don't really have any great answers for you but, please don't bite him back or anything like that. I don't agree with people who do that. That does not teach your child anything. I think the best things you can do for him are be consistent. Does he have a favorite toy or something like that? You could take it away for the rest of the day when he bites? Then the next day he can have it back if he doesn't bite. Good luck! I hope he outgrows it soon!
The worst thing you can do is a time out. Biting is a sign of stress and failure to express himself verbally. A time in where you hug him and get him de-stressed is likely more effective. When he is calm, then you talk to him about what he is doing. Children at that age don't think completely straight when they are doing things, they are very impulsive and can't totally help themselves. Biting and hitting are very common just before a child becomes really verbal. The early 2s are hard - so much stress over autonomy and independence. I would look for the triggers and try to minimize them. He also may be confused with you changing tactics all the time. He will grow out of this in a little bit. Most do by age 3. when he does this, I would take him out of the situation, calm him down - maybe give him a hug and only when he is calmer than discuss that he can't do that and that it hurts. good luck.
My friend had the same issue. I don't think your going to like her solution but it worked! She put a bar of soap in her sons mouth. Before he bit the mom she the consquences if you bite anyone I will put soap in your mouth. She followed thru with what she said. It worked.
Do you time out. I would put him in time out..if he is 2 yrs it would be 2 min, 3 yrs would be 3 min.
What about offering him something he CAN bite? I do agree with the poster that said check out all medical issues first. Then when he bites or tries to tell him it's not ok to bite people but if he needs to bite something (out of frustration or because it feels good) tell him you'll get him a damp washcloth to chew on, or maybe you have a safe toy for him to chew. My kids are both very verbal, so they could tell me what they need, but my daughter still will tell me sometimes that she needs a washcloth to chew on and she's 7. It certainly can't hurt to try it. Good Luck!
my little cousin was a bitter and she would bite whoever was in reach! so we started biting her back so that she could see how it felt! she stopped real quick. good luck
My daughter when through a phase where she would bite me. I decided one day to give her a flick in the cheek immediately after she did it and told her no bite. Trust me the flick was not hard and you would not want it to be because that area is very sensitive. It worked. She of course cried. I told her that is what I would do every time she bit me or another person. It worked after the second time, she never bit me again.
I just did this w/ my younger daughter (2 yrs now) and she's only tried to bite me that one time.
Good luck!
