So we are from out of state. Last year, since we had just moved here, we had our son's birthday party back home with all of his friends. This year, he has lots of friends here and I was comfortable having the party here and hoping some of the grandparents could come out for it.
Since there is extended family that can't come, they have offered to fly us out for his birthday (cost was a big factor for us). Though, they want us to come for his actual birthday. If we fly out there, all grandparents can be present but more likely than not, he wouldn't have any friends.
If we stay here he would be able to have 2 grandparents, and the friends that we've made (which has been tough) and we'd like to have that bonding experience and memory with them.
I don't really want to go to all of the trouble of having a birthday party and packing for a week long trip out of state within the same week. The stress would mean I wouldn't be able to enjoy either thing, more than likely.
What would you do? I don't think there's any associated drama. Nobody is going to be upset by our decision either way. I'm just wondering what you would do.
He's going to be 2.
Thanks to everyone for your responses. I wanted to clarify that the family wants to fly us out on his birthday as his birthday gift, otherwise they want to give a gift or contribute to his birthday party that we have here). So, there is no drama about it, they just are particular about the way and the day they do their gifting. It's a family thing.
That said, I have decided to have his party here. He is too young to have to deal with schedule changes, time differences, travel and stress and have a good time. Even if he doesn't know his birthday from any other day, I want him to be happy on that day and I want to do the best I can to ensure that will happen.
Our friends here were hard to come by and I want to share this little celebration with them. The family will understand and we will visit them soon, or they will visit us.
Thanks again!
I would have his party where you and his friends live. If you choose to take family up on flying you out there for a visit shortly after or before his birthday they can always have a cake for him there.
Have his birthday party here a week early. Then go on his actual birthday to out of state party.Problem solved. Enjoy!
M
Definately stay where you are in Minnesota! Minnesota is where you live now - not anywhere else. You are making a life in Minnesota, and Minnesota is where your son's birthday parties should always be. If grandparents (or anyone else) would like to be a part of your son's birthday party, then they will have to fly to you. Your son needs his new, local friends at his party. If you family wants to fly you guys out to visit them, that is fine, but not for his birthday.
You state that there is no associated drama, yet they will only fly you home if you agree to celebrate your sons actual b-day with them?
I find it a bit odd that they insist that it be on his actual birthday... he's only 2 he would have no idea it it was on another day. Why wouldn't your family be encouraging you to have a party here with his 'new' friends and just be happy to see you for a party in your old town on any old day? Why do you think they are making this a 'requirement' for flying you back? That sounds very controlling to me.
If it helps at all my children have their b-day around Christmas and even as preschoolers we celebrate it in early Dec. so that more children can come (late Dec. gets so busy!). One year we even had to do it in Jan. - at this age they have no idea. Our neighbor does the same thing with her Sons Dec. B-day. You could do this with your son's new friends and then travel to celebrate the actual b-day.
For me it would depend on how important it was to me that whatever family is back in the other state be AT the birthday celebration. For example a special Grandparent or Aunt that can't travel due to health.
If you do decide to go, then have a friends luncheon where you live when you return.
M.
I'd stay home ... maybe plan to go back home for it next year. Or do both ways if you want. I'm too lazy to want to pack up and get on a plane for a birthday party unless it was someone that was turning 90 and wouldnt be around for much longer.
Our 2 year olds never had "friends" at their parties. At that age, it was just for relatives. I think your family just misses you and wants to share this special day with you guys.
I'd just schedule a "friend" party for 2 weeks before OR 2 weeks after his real birthday....... OR just SKIP a friend party..... Our kids get ONE friend party. When they turn 5. It's just too much hassle to do that every year. Birthdays are more of a family affair in our families......
Family is forever. Friends may come and go.
At 2 family is more important. He can have a little celebration before or after his birthday with his friends at a park or take them to the movies etc.
Maybe it's just me, but I think it's ridiculous to fly somewhere and go through all that cost for a toddler's birthday that makes absolutely no difference what-so-ever to the child. He won't remember any of it.
Have the party at home and let him run arround with his friends.
If you want to go visit your family, then take the time to do it. Stay for a week and enjoy quality time with your family and your son.
Do what YOU want to do. Make simplicity a major factor in your decision.
He is TWO. He will not remember this birthday. Please do not think that this party is about him, because it isn't. He'd be fine with a present or two and some cake with his Mommy and Daddy.
It's great that there will not be family drama whatever you decide, so just do what seems best for you. And relax, and have fun!
Are you going to fly "home" for all of his birthdays? What about future children? Will you fly out to celebrate all of their birthdays? I am guessing no. If it were me I wouldn't set the precedent of coming "home" for all of his birthdays. This is your new home and I would make it so by celebrating here, especially since you said making friends was a struggle. Now, if you really want to make a trip back home anyway and people are willing to pay for it and his birthday is just and excuse to go, then go for it. Either way it sounds like he will be surrounded by people who love him for his birthday and that is what's important.
If he's only going to be 2, I wouldn't stress so much about it. I know I wanted everything to be perfect for my toddler's birthdays as well, but in retrospect, when they're only 2 - they don't know the difference if you have family or friends, and really don't care as long as there's cake, parents, presents, and happiness. He won't remember it anyway. So I would do whatever's easiest. I say family is most important (I never had friend parties at that age). But in your situation, maybe your family needs to show their support a little more and instead of making you travel with a toddler, they need to come to you! Good luck. I'm sure no matter what you do, your little guy will have a fantastic birthday.
Since he is only 2 the choice is yours. I don't see a need for two b-day parties so just choose one and go with it.
I didn't have friends over for b-day until my daughter was 3 and even then I know she doesn't remember it. She doesn't remember the family parties before then either, so it seems it was more for me than for her.
So either way just make it a happy day and theat is the best you can do.
If he was in grade school I would say just stay at home...but he is so little... Take the trip back to grandma and grandpa... after all they are still a really big deal to kids at that age and I am sure he probably misses them since the move.
I always wonder why people don't do parties of cupcakes in the park anymore? growing up before age 5 that was what all of our parties were. Same for all of our friends. That is what I did for my daughter's 1st. Just avoid a meal time and say its for the kids. Sure the moms can have a cupcake too. Then do the real party with the family.
That's a lot of work to have a party for a two year old! I'd stay home. If it were me.
You don't have to have his friends party the week of his birthday - have it the week before or week after then go and see your family. I would definitely want to take advantage of the opportunity to visit family, especially if traveling costs are a concern for you - when will you be able to go and visit again?
At that age I would fly to the relatives and do the patry there. Plenty of time for kid birthday parties in the future. Just my opinion, but I never considered having a "friend" birthday party at age 2 for my kids - they're too young. At 4, or maybe even 3 they could possibly play a game or two, or do some activity that would hold their attention for more than 3 minutes - I don't know if that's possible at age 2!
I hope you have fun no matter what you decide!
