Birthday Party 1St Grader

I think if you just invite the boys, there won't be a problem at all. The girls might have wanted to go, but the explanation is simple, "It's a boys party!"

If you don't invite the entire class then do not invite anyone. It is just cruel to the kids you leave out. They will feel it is personal and hurt deep inside. Just have a family get together. There is no rule that says you must have 25 kids at any thing. Don't do the large party if you don't want to.

Personally, I really hate that we're invited to a birthday party for every kid in the class every year. I'd be surprised if the parents aren't at least in part relieved not to have to buy presents/schlep to party for kids that aren't even that close to their kids.

We also cannot invite the entire class to my daughter's birthdays. And she too will hear about parties that she did not get invites to. I've tried teaching/explaining to her her that she will not be invited to EVERY birthday party and will not ALWAYS be included in everything, things will not always go her way, and sometimes she might feel really disappointed. I've also discussed with my daughter that it's best to not talk to other friends about the upcoming parties she's been invited to just in case that friend was not invited. I understand what you mean when you say "parents talk" but really
parents should actually know better than to discuss parties with other parents whose kids may or may not have been invited to, especially when the kids are right there to hear the conversation.
There's nothing wrong with inviting fewer people and I really think and hope the parents will understand without any hurt feelings.

I disagree with Gramma G, there is no reason you can't have a party that is only for a smaller group of his closest friends. You really should not feel a bit guilty for celebrating the way you want to celebrate. It is NOT cruel NOT to have a party for the whole class. Cruel would only be if you were inviting the whole class minus 1-3 kids. Just keep the invitations out of school. Mail them to his friends' homes or use evite. Coach your son not to talk about his party at school so as not to possibly hurt feelings of those he did not invite. Also, I do not understand parents who don't teach their kids from a young age they will NOT be invited to every party or social event. That is just unrealistic. I don't know of one case that parents continue to invite the whole class throughout all of the school years, it's really just something that *sometimes* people do for very young kids, and fewer and fewer do that as kids get older.

Well, my suggestion would be to just invite boys. That way nobody would feel left out. The girls wouldn't care that they missed a boys-only party. If you mix up the kids there are for sure going to be hurt feelings, especially when they are so young. As they get older, you can have smaller parties with fewer friends.

I would think by now most parents would realize you can't keep inviting the entire class. If someone complains ask them how many from the class they invited to their child's party. It gets to wild with 25 kids and the child can't even remember who got them what. Usually it gets so overwhelming the birthday child ends up in tears. I always thought the rule of thumb was to invite as many kids as your son is old. If he's turning 6, invite 6 friends. And remember, you can't please all the people all the time. Good luck!

The rule in our family is that they can have a party at home with 10 friends or they can do something special (dinner & a movie, mani-pedis, laser tag, Chucky Cheese, etc) Because we have put a firm cap on it, the kdis don't seem to have an issue with it. I know it's a tough decision. Good luck with it. Any don't forget that you need to do what's best for your family- everyone else will just have to deal with it. :-)

you son should invite the children he wants to invite. he should not have to invite the whole class. be aware however that some schools have the policy that invites can be handed out only if inviting A. the whole class or B. only the girls / boys in the class. He will have to do the handing out of invites on his own if not doing one of those things. good luck

In my daughters 1st grade class, the teacher just told us the other day that no one is allowed to bring party invitations unless there is one for every single person. It's simple if you think about it. Imagine being that little boy or girl who thinks your son is a good friend. You're son shows up with invites, but not one for him....ouch. So not worth it.

If you must invite a small group, send the teacher an email and ask for the email address of a, b, c, d, Etc. That way you can get home addresses from the parents and mail them!

Hi HC,
I saw this other post after I had already commented on your other post.

Wow! That is great if you have been able to financially afford to invite the whole class. That has NEVER been the case for us.

We homeschool and just with our church, homeschooling group, and other classes that we may be involved in over the years we too have faced that dilemma. When my daughter was in a certain class I just had her pick her closest friends (like for a Tea Party we had 8 friends- that was all we could afford) other parties it was 15 and that was a stretch! Because of course you have families to account for and siblings sometimes too.

Anyway, the way I handled it was invitations were giving to the parent always. I would mention to them that we were "NOT" inviting the whole class. That way Mom usually knows not to mention it to others like a kid would. Mom can handle it with their own child. Depending on the relationship I might mention that we were doing things on a smaller scale because of "what" we were doing or "where" we were going. But when the child gives it to another child not only could they forget to give it to their parent and or get lost but they "talk" and it is hard for your child to do it discreetly without other kids noticing that aren't invited. We never wanted others to get hurt or feel purposefully excluded!

People/Parents understand! Kids not so much. Especially in this day and age where things are "tight" for a lot of people. I have been living like this for a LONG Time before the whole economy took a dive. Like when my daughter was having her little Tea Parties people back then STILL understood. Now, I feel I don't even have to explain (I feel like society is FINALLY at the level I have been at for awhile-years now) because society in general is just more frugal!!!

My husband has been permanently disabled for years now because of a hereditary disease. So when he had to stop working our finances took a BIG hit! Everything changed and the fact that we had a baby and a 5 yr. old just forced us to adapt.

Anyway, hope the "handing the invite/talking to Parent Only" part helped!

A.

Boys only and 1 or 2 special girls.

Hello! We had my daughter's party at our house so there was no way I was going to "risk" having the entire class come, because we already had also friends from outside of school come. We agreed on 6 friends whom she plays with and talks about, and she gave them invitations. I let her teacher know in case something came up around it and, while there were some long faces that day because she was not quite as discreet about handing out the invitations as I had hoped, that was the end of it.
Seems to have worked out fine. I believe parents should know that this is going to change and that not everyone can support everything all the time. It is just not possible even in the best of situations.
Hope you enjoy the party!

As long as you mail the invitations or do evite it's fine. It would be mean to invite the whole class minus one or two kids, but that's not what you're doing. We've never invited the whole class to my daughter's parties. In the past we have invited the girls from her class and this year it will just be a couple of friends because she wants to go to a water park. As long as the inviting is done outside of school, you shouldn't feel badly about not inviting everyone.