Birthday Parties - Christiana,TN

I think every birthday for both children and adults should be celebrated but I don't think you have to have a party every year. Some years my daughters don't want a party but want to spend the day or weekend in NY an see a broadway show. Sometimes they just want to go to dinner with a few close friends and sometimes they want a party with lots of friends. Since it is their day we do what they want.

I think parents get into the hamster wheel of wanting to provide what "every other kid gets" even if they don't know what that really is. I think kids get into the competition of doing what their peers do. I see it among my neighbors, and I see it all over Mamapedia, and all over the ads for the party venues. First of all, before the age of 5, kids don't really get what the party is. So having huge parties for 2 year olds is just a financial burden for the parents and a stress-fest for the child. Guest children have no idea why they have to give toys to someone else and not be able to play. Parents invite SO many kids (so as "not to leave anyone out") and then have the problem of 30 gifts. Now their child has to write 30 thank you notes (which he/she won't do), the guest kids have to sit there and watch an acquaintance open 30 gifts, OR, if the gifts aren't opened until later, the guests never get to experience the pleasure of seeing their gift enjoyed and appreciated. All of which makes a wrapped gift the price of admission to a party venue (bounce house, arcade, Reptile Adventure, pony ride, theme ideas and accessories, you name it). Just in case it's not enough, the host parents go into hock providing creative goody bags.

It's all a great boon to the party industry - toys, wrapping paper, balloons, favors, invitations, entertainment venues - but it's a huge burden on the budgets of parents. Moreover, it turns simple celebrations into spectacles. Kids don't learn to choose good friends because "everyone gets invited". They don't learn to do with less, but everything's about having more. They don't learn to be grateful. They don't learn to be gracious hosts or gracious guests. No thank you notes are involved, no expressions of gratitude (not just for the gift, but for the thought and for the friendship) are involved.

Some people think that, because people are having kids later, they aren't giving them the big weddings. They give the big grad parties and the big bar mitzvahs, and the over-the-top parties for a 4 year old. Others think that there's guilt involved for not spending as much time with our kids with 2-job families. There are structured after-school activities (another competition, but it can also be a question of supervised child care for older kids), and some misplaced desire to make up with quantity what we are unable to provide with frequency. Others think that having kids later means that people have more disposable income or are worried about not being around for 4 generations. I don't know. Maybe it's all of those things.

But I think we'll find that kids who are over-indulged with huge events for any occasion (baptism, birthday, confirmation, preschool graduation, and on and on) aren't really going to look back and feel they had a fuller life.

In my experience most kids only have birthday parties from about age three until age twelve. Before the age of three birthday parties are for the parents. After the age of twelve kids usually prefer to celebrate birthdays differently, with a few close friends, as opposed to a party. We always celebrate our birthdays as a family with a special dinner, cake and choice of activity, and my kids have a birthday party for their friends. Most kids I know between three and twelve like to have a birthday party, whether it be a huge event with the entire class, or a small special event with only closest friends. A birthday party is not a need, it is a want, but since they only really do them for a short time it's nice to do them every year.

Depends on your child and how social he/she is. I did birthdays for my son 'til he was 9, my daughter as well. My son was usually bored with them and my daughter adored each and every one. No one relly "needs" a b-day, I think it depends on your child and how you were raised. I was an only child and had a gang buster of a birthday party every year 'til I was 15 thanks to my M. and dad. In my case, I didn't need the party for my children, I threw them because my daughter trully loved them and because my son needed help socializing. What better than a party.

Yes, we believe in parties every year, but they aren't always fancy or expensive. Last year our 13-year-old had a few friends over for a Nerf gun battle, pizza, brownies and a sleepover. They had a blast and it was simple and relatively inexpensive. Even our 16-year-old likes to have a few friends over for pizza, ice cream cake, ESPN and video games. We find it important to celebrate each year. Even the adults get a "birthday weekend" with a nice dinner or carryout of their choice, favorite desert and a fun activity-- golf, a movie or quiet time to read. It's only once a year, there's no alternative to getting older, so why not have fun with it is our motto.

Great question, one I am battling now. My daughter is turning 3 and we've attended many parties in the last year, so I think we'll be throwing her one. Nothing over the top, as she is still unsure about birthdays aside from cake first and presents second.

I think the first few years, the parties are really for the parents. Truth is I didn't know many parents/kids until this year so maybe that's why I'm game.

I'm sure when my daughter gets older she will have plenty of say in her parties but I won't deny her one, unless of course it's over the top!

Also think parties teach good lessons: Inclusion/exclusion, saying/writing thank you notes, etc.

My daughter's birthday is in September, and she is already planning it. So, I would definitely say she wants it far more than I do. Her first birthday party was when she turned 3, and I anticipate she'll probably want one every year until she turns 10-12 years old. After that, it will probably be a smaller event with a friend or two doing something special. I'm fine with her having a birthday party every year. Does she NEED it? Perhaps not. However, I think it's an occasion worthy of celebration, so I'm happy for her to have a party that is within reason.

I think every personality is different and some kids do want the party and some don't.

I had a birthday party for my son at age 1..obviously this was probably me celebrating more than him. At 2 we had a party and invited about 5 other 2 year olds and they all went mad over Elmo's visit....that was for him. He loved Elmo. At 3, we went to Disney and skipped the party At 4, we had family visit and had dinner, cake etc at home one night and all went to Chuck E Cheese the next day for lunch and games and he asked me about 50 times that day and the next week why I did not invite his friends for his party. He then asked about 100 more times throughout the year...so this year for 5, I did have a party again and invited our firends children who he is friends with and some came from his preschool...I was stressed planning it..so it was definitely for him again :-) We don't do "big" parties every year. I am encouraging a theme park or something special next year...but we will have more parties eventually too.

I have done a few parties and each of them were a lot of fun. Most, 90% are just family type things.

As far as kids parties I suggest you keep it out of the school room and only have a small thing that is for a few close friends. Even if she's close friends with 10 kids she isn't inviting a whole class of people she doesn't really care about coming or not coming.

I don't think anyone "needs" a birthday party, but some kids really like them. My 7 y.o. would be crushed if we didn't have a party for her. Part of that may be my fault b/c we have always made a big deal out of her birthday. So every year she loves to be the center of attention. I think she is a great kid and I love how excited she gets, so for me it is important for her to have one every year. My 4 y.o. is starting to follow in her sister's footsteps and wants excitement around her birthday too. I will say what passes as a party can vary from person to person. Sometimes just having a grandparent over for a special dinner or having a cake for dessert is enough. Even just having a special playdate on a child's birthday can be called a birthday party. You don't need to spend a ton of money or go anywhere fancy.

So to sum up my answer - not necessary but can be lots of fun! What you need to do or how often varies family or family or even from person to person.