Birth Control! - Houston,TX

I use the Nuva-Ring and it works great. I get really light periods also for only about 3 days a month. Just an option.

I recomend the copper IUD it is implanted and last for 5 years at least. No hormones. Works great. I love it.

I've been on the "pill" for about 15 years. It works for me because I also have mild endometriosis and it really helps control the pain I used to have.

The most often prescribed pill is an estrogen/progesterone
combo. There are different strengths, so sometimes it takes a few to find the right one. Over the years I've had 4 different ones. Right now I'm on a low does pill (I believe the brand name is Alesse) and it's working great for me. You need to take it at the same time every day (or about the same time). I've read that it works best taken in the morning, but I've always taken mine at night before bed because that is when I remember it as part of my bed time routine.

Personally I've never been interested in the intrauterine types of birth control, but you may want to look up info on Nuva ring. It's the same type of hormones the pill has but you insert a ring once a month for 3 weeks. take it out for a week and replace it with a new ring. (Not for me personally but some this works for some women.)

There is also Depo provera which is a shot, I think it lasts for a few months, but there are some nasty side effects but you may want to look it up.

Here is some info from Web MD that may be helpful:

http://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/default.htm

Hi P.-

I know this doesn't help with your concern about possibly changing your mind later but if the two of you do decide to not have anymore why isn't he getting a vasectomy? It's a much easier, less invasive procedure and will give you the permanent result that he is looking for. My husband had it done this summer and he was uncomfortable for about 24 hours (pretty much slept due to the medication) but was up and about the next day.

Good luck with whatever you decide,
K.

If HE doesn't want any more children, why doesn't HE get a vasectomy?!?! It's nothing compared to getting your tubes tied - nothing, no matter how much they whine.

As far as female birth control methods, I have been on the pill for years and it has been great. You just need to be able to take your pill every day RELIGIOUSLY. I can't get my head around having a foreign object inside me all the time (just seems like you're asking for trouble) and, like another poster said, if the Depo doesn't agree with you, you have to wait for it to work it's way out. The pill has more flexibility.

I really think you'll regret getting your tubes tied. It's major surgery that you obviously don't want. Put the responsibility back on him or at least get something reversible. Good luck with this big decision.

Tell your husband to have a vasectomy!! It is much easier for him to do this than you having your tubes tied!! Good luck!

I had Norplant for 4 years while we decided what to do. I liked it. I don't know if it's still out there or not. I had no problems, and it was one less thing (yet very important thing!) for me to have to remember while sleep deprived. Hardly felt it when it was being implanted, few tugs and a little bruising (lasted about 3 days) when it was removed---that was it. Very cost effective. No irregular or weird periods or anything.

After 4 years, my husband and I had HIS tubes tied. The hormonal imbalances that can occur in women can be problematic. Men do not have hormonal imbalances from getting a vasectomy. And it takes less than 30 minutes -- without hospitalization!

P.S. My husband whined and whimpered for 2 days after his vasectomy. He was sore! Wahhhhhh!
I said if I could have traded birthing 3 boys without any pain meds, for his vasectomy, I would. But he still whined. Just keep taking him ice packs for his crotch and let him sit on the couch for 2 days and watch TV.

Hi P.,

I strongly advise against having children with a man who says clearly that he does not want any more children. You both have your hands full with a 16 year old, a 4 year old and a 2 month old. That sounds like a wonderful family! Focus on the children that you DO have. Your husband can have a vasectomy. That's what mine did. The pill and the IUD all carry risks for your health that you do not need.

Good Luck and Best Wishes!
D.

It is much safer and less invasive for him to have a vasectomy. Request this of him and see what he says.

If he is really ready not to have anymore, he should be ok with that. If he's not ready to do something so permanent, maybe he could understand a little more about how you feel.

I'm going thru the same issue. It's a wonderful chapter in my life - I have 4. I don't want anymore, but I don't want to totally close that chapter either.

Well that is a tough call I know. I am pregs with #2 but we plan on 3 and I think after our third one of us will do something permanent but then again I will be like 35 or 36 I understand not feeling quite ready to do it. Anyway, have you ever been on hormonal birth control before? I took the mini pill which is a progestin based form while I nursed my son and then changed to a combination pill after I weaned him. For me the mini pill made it a lot harder to lose my baby weight and both pills did a number on my sex drive. I cannot explain how much better I felt when I got off of bc to try and conceive, I never want to take it again. But some people don't have bad side effects so if you want to try some hormonal methods, they are pretty good at preventing pregnancy if you take them correctly. Just listen to your body and if you feel weird don't ignore it or write it off as you are just inventing symptoms. Especially if you are not interested much in sex, I thought I was just super tired, I felt like a honey-mooner when I got off the stuff! If you are nursing I believe you can take any progestin only form of bc, like the mini pill, depro prevera, I think implanon is also in the same group. If you aren't nursing of course you are free to take whatever form you like. If you take depo or have anything placed in your body that releases slowly and you do have any side effects, the only downside is you will have to wait until it works out of your system to feel totally normal, so that is one nice thing about the pill. If you don't like it once you get off it you feel better really fast. The paragard IUD is hormone free which is really nice. The strings are just there to let you know your IUD is still in proper position. The doctor will explain to you exactly how to check them. The mirena IUD has a slow release of hormone so there may be side effects associated with that for some people, but my doctor told me it was safe to use while nursing which is good. The only down side on any IUD is it is believed that there isn't any prevention of ovulation. The major form of birth control is a foreign body in the uterus which makes an egg unable to attach to the uterine wall. There is a possibility of having regular fertilized eggs sloughed off during menstration. Also many times if a woman conceives she will have to terminate the pregancy due to the IUD being in the uterus. This is info I got off the paragard and mirena websites when considering my options, so you will just have to decide if those things factor into your decision of whether to use one or not. My good friend has the paragard and loves it so everyone is just different when it comes to these things. As far as permanent sterilization, would he consider a vasectomy? I have some friends where the husband had a vasectomy before they married and they wanted kids, he had it reversed and now they have three children. I know that doesn't happen all the time but maybe that decision could leave that tiny crack in the door you need to feel peace about the choice, especially if you feel you probably won't have more kids. I know husbands can be funny about that though! But if you do the tubes, I don't believe there is a reversal possibility. Best wishes in whatever you decide, I know it is a tough call! I am hoping so much that we can just behave ourselves after this baby and use condoms for a while between 2 and 3 and then just do something permanent after that, so hopefully I won't be prego back to back, but you never know!!:)

Hi P., Boy did yuo ever expect so many responses. Ya know noody really can say where they will be in a couple of years. I think for you both to be at such different stand points is probably pretty normal. But instead of making such permanent solutions, do what I did the Mirena iud. I have had mine 4 and half years. And I absolutely love the freedom it has given me. And not having my period is just the icing on the cake for me. I've had no problems, no cramping, nothing at all. And after 5 years you can opt to have another one or who knows another child, they last for 5 years inside of you. And that gives you time to see how you feel

If you are sure you don't want any more children, get your tubes tied. I had mine done after my last child when I was 40. It was a surprise to get pregnant at 39 on birth control. Unfortunately, you can't take the pill after 35 and all the other methods aren't foolproof. The tubal is a lot easier than a hysterectomy.

I have the 5 tear mirena IUD and love it! Thia is my 2nd time to get it. You can have it put in and removed anytime! In 5 years you go in to have it removed and get a new one put back in. My husband and I didn't want to do anything permanant so this was the very best option for us! The 10 year copper one, I personally did not like b/c you still have your period with it, possibly heavier and wasn't keen on the idea of having something copper inside me. Talk to your OB about options and see what they recommend.

The one who doesn't want anymore children should be the one to tie up anything permanently, in my opinion. What if your husband died and you got remarried. I have friends who have had children even after 40.

In regards to the other forms of birth control - read all the fine print. The doctors don't tell all.

Suggest he get clipped in a nice conversational way and see how that goes-thats a good option that works...(he suggested you get your tubes tied???)

Since your husband is quite sure he doesn't want anymore children, why doesn't he get a vasectomy? The procedure is much simpler & done in the doctor's office. That would solve the birth control issue for ya'll. If, God forbide, anything happens to him or you split; you will still be able to have more children if you choose to.
Good Luck!

I agree with so many responses indicating that your husband can take care of this one very simply with a vasectomy. And, should he ever change his mind, it is reverseable.

Unless you are good with the pill, all of the other female options involve quite a bit of medical intervention and come with a host of possible side effects. As you have an infant, you really shouldn't be looking at any of these right now (especially if you are planning on long-term breast feeding).

If your husband is reluctant to consider a vasectomy, you should find out why. The procedure is MUCH simpler and safer with a much shorter recovery period than tying tubes. Also, unless you have the most amazing insurance I have ever heard of, a vasectomy is much cheaper.

Good luck. Bottom line, if you are not ready and willing to go through major surgery, don't. It doesn't matter what others say, you are the one that would go through it.

There's one form of birth control that you have not considered, and thats vasectomy. If HE doesn't want more kids and HE is insisting on something permanent, then HE should take responsibility and take care of it himself instead of making you go through with something you don't want. Vasectomy is so much easier than what a woman goes through; its outpatient, takes about half an hour, and you go right home after its done with almost no recovery time. For a woman to get her tubes tied, its very invasive, its major surgery, hospitalization, and weeks of recovery time. It makes no sense for a women to go through this when a man has it so much easier. My husband is a wonderful man who completely understands this and is willing to have a vasectomy so that I don't have to go through the major surgery for the same outcome. We also have three kids the same ages as yours and we are done.

I would use Mirena. I ended up getting my tubes tied but this was what I was going to use. My obgyn uses it and so do many,many other obgyns. I also know people who use this.I would discuss this option with your obgyn. Hope this helps!

I don't think our bodies were made to be on birth control for 20 years. Make him get "cut", it is easier for the males. I had my tubes tied, I wish I had not since my life changed drastically and now I would like another one. I am 35 and am glad I am not taking hormonal BC but wish I had pressed the vasectomy (sp). If HE is against more kids, then HE can go. CB

After what you've had to put your body through to have children, the least he can do is get a vasectomy. It's a dr. visit that takes less than 10 minutes. Also, a vasectomy can be reversed if your husband changes his mind about more kids.

I would stay away from taking hormones for birth control. They mess with your body (e.g. make you gain weight, put you at higher risk for blood clots) and your emotions (no need for examples here). I would push for your husband to get a vasectomy instead. Good luck!

If you get your tubes ties, you increase your risk of getting fibroids. If your husband really doesn't want any more children, a more effective and less expensive alternative is a vasectomy. My husband and I use condoms. We have three children and I would love to have another child, but we both have to agree and we don't. I have heard negative reports about implantible contraceptives--specifically serious depression. Talk to your husband and your health care providor about options that are best for you.

Hi P.,
I feel the exact same way and my husband feels like yours does. I am still young (at least I think I am ;)), have three children and want one more in the future. My youngest is 7 months and I use the mini-pill. This is the only option since I am breastfeeding and my insurance won't cover an IUD. I would recommend the IUD if your insurance covers it. It is safe, removable, and you don't have to worry about taking a pill everyday. That was my first choice and most of my friends have it and have never had ANY problems. Please know that you are not alone. Surgery is just so final. Your hubby might change his mind a few years from now, either way you will have that option and can look into a more final decision later.

Oh and the Mirena is for 5 years, the copper one is for 10.

I understand how you feel. I had my last child at 34 and although I contemplated it as it is best to do right after delivery. My husband then, was adament about no more as he was 12 years older than I, which I understand. But it just didn't feel right, so I didn't. 12 years later, I haven't had anymore and really not planning on it but have no regrets. At the time I just wasn't ready to do that.
He ended up getting a vasectomy, total baby about it, but that is another story.
Talk it over with your husband. He may be willing to take on the birth control issue.
But I really understand how you feel. Stand your ground.

No one has brought up this point, but don't the docs usually make a woman go through counseling before they will even consider tying her tubes? If she shows any sort of reluctance about the procedure, they won't perform it. Unless you feel you can be an actress and forcefully tell them you want to have your tubes tied -- and from what you've said, I doubt you'd be convincing -- it's probably not going to happen. I agree with the majority of posters here, either opt for something more temporary or talk to your husband about getting a vasectomy. You have to do what's comfortable for you, and having your tubes tied would weigh on you, especially if you felt coerced into doing it.

Hi P.,

I had my tubes tide, but it was MY choice and MY decision, which I think is the most important thing when it comes to YOUR body and your feelings. Also I am 38 years old, I have my children and I was completely sure that I do not want to go thru another pregnancy (which were extremely difficult for me) and I for sure do not want to have babies at or after 40. (personal choice)

If your husband is totally sure he does not want more children and that he will not want more in the future HE CAN HAVE A VASECTOMY!!!! There is a solution!

I can not talk about other methods because I do not have the information but the only thing I can say is that to make the decision to have your tubes tie I would recommend you to be totally completely sure that is what YOU want.

I know of people that had it done for different reasons and grew extremelly resentful and bitter towards the persons that they felt pressured them to do it.

Good luck and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

The three options you presented are all good - it simply comes down to your personal preference and lifestyle. Another option that you left off the table is the vasectomy. If your husband has decided he does not want to have any more children, then he could have a vasectomy. I know most guys don't relish the idea; but, considering what we go through with labor and delivery, it's really not a big deal.

If he doesn't want any more children, and you don't want to tie your tubes then urge him to get a vasectomy. At least that is reversable.
You really DO want other children. You need to figure out why with an almost 2 month old, a 4 yr old and a 16 year old - you still feel the need to have more children. There must be some need or fear because of your reluctance on the tubal ligation and your statement "you can't turn back". You might collect information on tubal ligation - it might allay some of your fears.
This is just an observation as someone on the outside looking in. It just seems that you really aren't sold on the idea of having no more children - even though the risk factor for having children with birth defects increases with age.

To me you sound like a good candidate for the merina IUD. This particular IUD is even more effective than a tubal ligation, and is fully reversible. For most women, the fact that you get either a very light period or no period when using it is a bonus. However, although the rates of problems seem to be low, when this method causes problems, they are serious -- I haven't looked at the information lately, but I think it is the standard dangers of uterine perforation and the possibility of tubal pregnancy. Also, I would not describe the process of having the thing inserted or taken out as painless, although my first was inserted by a nurse practitioner who does a lot of these and it wasn't bad. The second procedure of having the first taken out and a new one placed, which must happen every five years, was really horrid and I nearly asked the ob/gyn to stop -- only the thought of having to go back to using a diaphragm, with its higher rates of unwanted pregnancy, gave me the courage to keep going. But I am probably a relatively skittish gyn patient. If you're in the Houston area and have some money to spend on this out of pocket, the folks at Nativiti in the Woodlands did a great job for me, whereas the folks at Kelsey Seybold were much less expensive under my insurance, but the experience made me very glad I'm nearly fifty and won't be going through another switch out, ever. Also, Mother Jones carried a terrifying article about 4 months ago about a young, healthy woman who died of a stroke that was clearly related to some kind of birth control hormone implant. While no IUD of any kind was implicated in this article, the merina, as opposed to other IUDs that do not use localized hormones, also emits a low dose of hormones locally. This had seemed like a brilliant idea -- don't dose my whole body with hormones, just put them right where my reproductive cycle will be fooled into not bothering to implant an egg. But, as the Mother Jones article shows, the pharmaceuticals using these low-dose, localized forms of birth control haven't bothered to test to see if the body might react to them in ways different from the way it reacts to the birth control pill or patch, and they have also determinedly ignored evidence that some healthy women who use these products are getting strokes. It is obviously of no benefit to the manufacturers of this new generation of birth control to follow up on this possible link any faster than they are forced to. I have responded to this horrible possibility by taking a children's aspirin every day, but I think it is another thing to consider. BTW -- what about your husband getting a vasectomy? They are less invasive, and he's the one who wants to call it quits, yes?

I would say that if your husband does not want anymore children and at your age, I would say that you should also be considering the same, why not have your tubes tied. You can reverse it later, if you just want to have another kid. What you don't want to do is to slip up on your birth control and give your husband a kid he does not want. The problem with the pill and other forms of birth control is that they are related to cancer, and other female problems. The new forms of birth control have yet to reveal their side effects but I will tell you that I had my tubes tied at age 21 and have not had any issues. I was a single mother and knew that I could barely take care of the two kids I had so it was a dicission that I do not regret. I married someone that accepted me and my kids and since I was a young mother, I find myself being mom to lots of grandkids and adopted extended families, so I can't say that I regret it. I hope you decide what is best for you. Remember their is also another alternative, your hubby can fix himself.

I definitely agree with you about tubal ligation or tube tieing. Plus isn't a fairly expensive major procedure? Go ahead and investigate the others. If he's thinking permanent solutions why isn't he thinking vasectomy (I'm not recommending...have some concerns about this for my husband and haven't been able to make this step for our family either)? It is still your body, stick with what you are thiniking.

Been going through the same thing in my house. I'm 29 and I have 4 kids. My husband doesn't want anymore but I'm not ready to do anything permanent about it yet. I had issues with the IUD when I got mine so after my 4th child it wasn't really an option for me. I didn't want to take the pill because it was too easy for me to just "miss" a pill. I went with Implanon (implant in my arm) and I'm happy with that decision. It's more invasive than the others upon insertion and removal but it lasts 3 years and its better right now for me than doing something permanent. So, in 1.5 years when my time is up, we'll approach the subject again. If at that time we are ready for something my husband will be the one getting fixed not me. Best of luck.

If you're not totally sure what you want in the future, I would not recommend getting your tubes tied, no matter what your husband says.
I am on the pill, but if you want to ensure you have excellent protection, it's not the best because the failure rates increases greatly if you're not a stickler for taking it at the same time every day. It's extremely reliable if you follow all directions, but most women make mistakes. I am not perfect, but I'm taking it for endometriosis, not birth control.

I haven't tried other methods, but I teach Health Psych, so I've had to research failure rates of other methods. One of the best methods in terms of not failing on you is the Mirena IUD. (other IUDs are a teensy bit less reliable, but still very very good) IUDs are removable, and you don't have to do anything every day to be protected, but if I were you I'd talk to someone who has had one to see what it was like.

lol. I LOVE this site, lets me know I am not the only one. I am 29; I have 2 WONDERFUL girls, 10 and 8. I love my girls and I would love to "try" for a boy but I truly think I am done having children (I don’t want to “start over”). I am super happy with my family and my lift, I don’t have that “something is missing” feeling. I feel we are complete; we have Mommy (me), Daddy, 2 girls, and 3 (yes 3) dogs. Although I would really love to have a little boy, I think I am done with having babies, but I am not so sure that I would have anything permanent done, so I chose to have an IUD put in it is the Mirena good for 5 years, by the time I take it out I think I will have made up my mind enough to do something permanent, if not well then I will do another 5 year Mirena. I have had the Mirena since March; I have had no ill side effects, I like it, and I would do it again. Feel free to ask me any questions on the Mirena, or what ever. :)

First your husband needs to get a vesectomy, how dare he expect you to have to have a very painful surgery when his is a simple outpatient snip.

Second both my Mom and my Aunt had their tubes tied and they both told me to please not do it because they felt it put them in premature menapause!

So having said that I also felt exactly like you! My husband was done, but I wanted one more. Well he had an affair, got another woman pregnant and we are now divorced. I thought we had a good marriage and a happy family, it just goes to show no matter how perfect you think things are, you never really know. You can have a baby for another 7-8 years woman do it all the time.

I think your husband is being selfish.

Now as far as birth control I am single and not on any so I don't know what to say, but I am really curious as I am thinking about getting on something.

Best wishes!

I understand your wanting to keep your options open, but 3 kids should be enough for you, even though I know how hard it is to give up the option to have another. Has your husband considered a vasectomy? That is a far simpler procedure than a tubal, and safer. Why do we have to do all the surgeries and birth control?

It is a major operation for you to have your tubes tied. Why are you bearing the brunt of the responsibility? If he knows for sure he doesn't want any more children, let HIM get His tubes tied!!

Reproductive issues are deeply personal and between a couple. But I think he should get 'snipped' that's the least he could do since you've had 3 kids. It's pretty painless and the whole procedure takes about 20 minutes. He could be in and out in about 1 hour and just needs a day or two to watch football. On the other hand, I think his idea about no more kids is confused at best and plain selfish at worst. Children are a blessing and gift from God yet we try and "control" and purposely limit or wait for these gifts. If you the woman want to have more I don't understand what the problem is, you do most of the work, he just has to come up with a few more dollars. Besides after 3 kids, its all the same. Your zone defense anyway and plus there's more siblings to play with. We had 5 kids in 8 years then my husband got fixed and now 4 years later we deeply regret it. He has gotten unfixed but we have not gotten pregnant I we are now hopeful for #6. We might adopt in the future but we really are big fans of our kids and would love one more. Anyway, my husband would say yours is a bum and should be thankful he is married to an awesome woman who loves children and takes care of him too!!

(Sorry, my husband couldn't resist responding when he read your note on my computer. This is his response.)

Everyone in my family had had their plumbing altered except me & I'm the only one that has all my original parts. My husband told me the same thing so I told him he could have the surgery. Recovery time for a guy is also shorter than for a gal. Good Luck.

I have friends who went through this. He was a no, she was a maybe.

His thinking was that he knew that he could not responsibly provide for more children. He had a vascetomy. That left her body free to recover from childbirth and not be complicated by other hormones or invaded by surgery.

She considered that a great gift. I hope your husband will do that for you.

I just have to ask! Where's your husband's responsibility in all this!?! The first thing I heard was that HE doesn't want any more children. Well, how about HE take care of things and you don't have to make that decision you don't want to make? I hear you say you would have another child given the right circumstances so my advice is to leave that option open until YOU, and no one else, is ready to close it.

I won't go into details but I'm speaking from personal experience when I say you may very likely have regrets if it's not your own decision, if you're not sure it's right.

i am considering having my tubes tied. birth controll taken for an extended period of time could cause cysts. the implantations cause the fertial egg not to attach as there is a foreign thing in your body and it views it as not safe to carrie a baby. i would talk to your gyno about the best options for you. i took the shot before and birthcontroll pills they both made me feel weird. i still have alot of questions about tubes getting tied though. hope you find the answer that works for you.

I got Mirena (IUD) about a year after having my son. I have some health problems which would make another pregnancy very dangerous for me, but I didn't want to go thru the hassle of getting my tubes tied. I can't use pill because of my blood pressure, and I was on the depo shot before wiht mixed results (one year-no periods/one year 90 day periods!:{)

I have been totally happy with Mirena. Once it's in, you don't have to think about it for 5 yrs. I had light periods the first 2 mos and then none there after (as I asid I have weird med probs so that may just be me, but my OBGYN said that is normal). Getting the thing in was painful. OBGYN siad I would have light cramping but it was more like labor for the first 24hrs, but I've heard it's different for every one. And if you change your mind and want another kiddo before then, you just get it taken out. Supposedly it is just as effective as tubal liagation when it is in, and you don't have to worry about taking a pill or getting a shot or having your hormones all wacked out by the various methods.
The "string" inthe IUD is actually tiny (I've never encountered it, and only my OBGYN can locate it, lol) and the Mirena itself is samll and plastic, and much safer than the old school copper thingys. You can be quite sure that it won't fall out or move, like the nuva ring. Everyone's different, so you would have to discuss it with the Dr., but overall, I have never been happier than with Mirena.