BIG Potty Training Problems. . .at the End of My Rope!

I did the same thing. I said "You let me know when you're ready. I know you're a smart boy and you can do it, but you're just not ready yet." I would ask him every morning if he wanted to wear underwear or a diaper that day. At almost 3 1/2, he decided he wanted to wear underpants and was potty trained in no time. I set an egg timer for every 45 minutes and took him. In less than a week he was dry every morning. The rest is history.

My son tried 2 different times before we had success. He was also 3 1/2 before he finally got it. Boys do tend to train later.

Here are some things that I did. I hope one or two work for you.
1. If you are going to take a break and try again in a month or so, go back to pull up instead of diapers. Diapers are put on laying down, pull ups standing up so it implies a 'i'm bigger' frame of mind.

2. When you put him in a pullup, put a pair of underwear on him underneath. Then when he wets he'll feel the wet material and be uncomfortable.

3. Keep the pullups/underwear in the bathroom, not the living room or his bedroom. This will help him understand that the bathroom is where all things potty should happen. (its also so if you need to rinse him off)

4. Take him to the store and have him pick up big boy pants and a new potty. Maybe the boys training urinal? I know they sell them at Babies R Us and Walmart.

5. As off as it may sound, when you are in 'training' mode you have to think of it like training a puppy. Set a timer and have him do bathroom visits ever 20m until he goes.

6. The potty chair doesn't HAVE to be in the bathroom. My son was afraid to go into the bathroom alone. So we set the potty in the laundry room where he could keep the door open/closed and we could see him from the kitchen. Once he was comfortable using it there, then we worked on moving it to the bathroom.

Good luck
M.

I know how you feel! My son is four and is mostly potty trained, but it took a long time to get there! My best advice to give is patience! Your son may seem ready, but I'm thinking he's not quite there yet. My son also peed in a corner of his room a couple times because I had moved the potty from his room to the bathroom and he just didn't feel like going into the bathroom. I've also learned that getting frustrated with him didn't work either because he would just hide what he did from me so that I wouldn't be mad (I wasn't mad just frustrated because I know he knows what to do, he just chose not to do it!). So learning from that, I had to be patient and do lots of praise when he did good and just gentle reminders when he didn't. For my son, it was also the problem of convenience. He gets himself dressed every morning and if he knows where the pull-ups are, he would just put one on and pee and poop in the pull-up all day. I learned to hide the pull-ups so he had no choice but to put underwear on, and when he's wearing underwear he rarely has accidents.
Every child is different and hopefully you can find out what works best for you and your son. I just know that I felt the same as you at one point because I wanted him to be potty trained so I wouldn't have to change pull-ups anymore, but you can't rush it!

Yes, I think you made the right move. He might be physically and intellectually mature enough, but he hasn't got that emotional piece of the puzzle yet. Pottying is a developmental step that kids make willingly, often even eagerly, when they are truly ready on all levels.

But your son is signaling the expectations have him feeling really uncomfortable, and his anxieties ("Do I really have to behave like a big boy ALL THE TIME?") have caused some regression.

I'd be really, really nonchalant about the potty issues for a week or so, simply telling him that you are confident he'll use the potty when he's ready. Then give it some time to sink in that HE'S in control. He will ultimately have to be anyway in order to be fully trained.

Moms who have been working hard on training feel real discouragement when they hit this VERY common wall. But your child just needs more time to sort it out. I've known a number of moms who have put their child back in diapers, expecting their children to never get trained. But once the kids know they get to advance when ready, they do. Sometimes this is only a couple of weeks, or a couple of months, later. Then they are trained – often in a day, or a week, with fewer accidents every day. It's their decision, and they go at it with enthusiasm and determination.

So try just cooling it for a while. If at some point it feels welcome, go back to reading occasional potty books, watching a video here or there, having pretend potty parties with his toys modeling how to get to the bathroom like a superhero, or whatever his favorite images are.

Lots of kids don't fully train until three or later. Boys tend to take longer than girls, and sometimes they are four or older. But pushing while he's balking will not speed the process, and is very likely to slow it down.

Here's a request on this site where several moms told of the success that followed giving their children freedom to make this decision: http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/6651391040949452801#re...

You told him the right thing. He is potty ready, he is just doing a control thing --if I had to guess. Hang tight.

This might sound gross, but since you have found the "spot" where he goes all the time, then move the portable potty THERE, emptying it often until he gets older to understand and retrain to use the real one.

I thought you were going to say he was NOT learning to pee in big boy pants, but he obviously is doing so, just not where you want him to. Boys take longer to get it!

Wow! Well I would say you have a little guy who knows how to do it, doesn't like being wet, is VERY smart and may be using the potty training to get attention and manipulate y'all! My 2nd daughter began potty training a month before she turned two. She was interested and once she learned how to do it within a month, she learned she had my undivided attention since she is so smart. She is the middle and obviously I am busy with her siblings, so she saw it as an opportunity to have my attention, even if it was BAD attention. She would literally fight me (cry, kick me) when I would have her go the the potty to try. She would have "accidents" only on the weekends, when both me and hubbie were home, she wouldn't have them at church or grandma's house. The last thing that happened for me to be fed up was that I had taken her to the potty and she refused to go. Then she got mad at me for making her clean up her toys, came over and peed right in front of me on the carpet! So, (this may be unorthodox, but it worked because she hasn't done it again...) I spanked her (for her defiance, not that she had an accident, because it was NOT an accident) and then I made her stand in the puddle. (She was already barefooted.) I walked away and did something else. She disliked the wetness so much, she took of her wet undies...so, I made her hold them. Obviously, I cleaned her up after about 10 minutes, and then I had her sit on her bed for time out also (which was really for me to continue to calm down).

I would put him back in diapers . He doesn't like being wet or else he would have just done it in his pants/pullups. Then tell him that when he is ready to do it the "right way," tell you so you can get him some big-boy underwear (that he only gets to wear if he does it correctly.) Then drop it. See if he wants to try again within a few weeks. Once he does start trying again, if he starts doing the same things again, maybe make him sit in the spot, or if he starts peeing in his underwear, have him sit on the kitchen floor wet. If all they learn is they get cleaned up right away, then what is their motivation? Like I said, this worked for my 2nd daughter. She is only 26 months old and is 95% potty-trained. I am not saying all children are ready by this age at all, but when unacceptable behavior arises from potty training, then it is just like any other thing and must be corrected. He will get there, don't worry!

There used to be some potty training "circles" that you could drop in the toilet and the boy (standing up) could "aim" for the circle. It was a game and was flushable. You could also drop in 3-4 cheerios and see if he can hit one with a stream of pee. After that you will have to keep Cheerios, Fruit Loops, etc., where he can NOT reach them and help himself by dumping the whole box in the toilet. Also, be sure he isn't going to be prone to throwing other small, non-flushable things in the toilet to pee on. It depends on the child - some can get quite creative and out of hand with throwing things in the toilet, and some won't even consider doing it themselves.

I'm a grandmother and have seen some boys skip the sitting down on a potty chair altogether, and wanting to stand on a step stool to use the big potty standing up like Daddy does. Instead of a potty chair they can sit on one of the child attachments to the regular adult toilet seat.

Having been thru this myself with 2 boys, I say, do whatever works. Don't fret or spend a lot of energy on getting him to use a potty chair if standing up using an adult toilet works better. Get creative, you don't have to do what everyone else does or uses. Life is too short.

My mother always said, "They're not going to start Kindergarten in diapers, so stop worrying about it".

P.S. I had a sister whose little boy liked to pee into their floor fan in the summer. He always did it when no one was looking. She kept smelling urine in the living room but he was potty trained. She finally caught him one day, giggling and watching the fan "spray" the liquid (pee) all over the room. Disgusting but funny.

I think going back diapers is a good idea. Having to much pee all over the house is dangerous and a health hazard. If his problem doesn't stop take him to a doctor. He could have an infection.