My 5-month-old sleeps great at night. He has always done great when we lay him down after his last bottle. We lie him down still awake and he is able to put himself to sleep and sleeps for several hours through the night. He takes great naps at the baby-sitter's; however, doesn't sleep as long when he's at home with us on the weekends. I have attributed this to the kids at the sitters probably wear him out from all of the stimulation, which makes him sleep longer and better. He will take 2-3 hour naps there, but when at home during the day, he will sleep for 45 mintues and then wake up crying. As soon as we pick him up, he will continue to sleep in our arms. If we put him back down, he'll cry. In addition, he does the same in the evening. He needs an evening nap, but refuses to sleep in his bed. He will only sleep in our arms. We don't mind b/c we love holding him and treasuring that time with him since we haven't seen him all day, but I'm afraid it will or has already created a bad habit that needs to be broken sooner than later. Any suggestions on how to get him to sleep better in his bed for naps? I am so confused b/c he does it so well at night and at the sitter's!
Have you asked the babysitter if she is holding him while he sleeps? If she is, this could be the reason.
Kudos for holding and loving him as much as you do when you get home. So many people avoid holding while sleeping in the fear that they will create a monster. Right now, he just needs to bond and be loved on. He's still so little, be happy that he sleeps at night for you as well as he does. My SIL's wouldn't sleep more than four hours until after he turned one! He just misses you during the day, and wants you at night. You have PLENTY of time to worry about habits later.
If it was me I'd change nothing unless his night-time routine starts to suffer. It sounds to me like he will be a well rounded, independent young man. Most people do not understand that the most independent children are with their parents enough that they will run in for loving, a hug and pat on the head and back to play. They may do this 10 times an hour while they are playing. The older they get the less they do it, but they still will come in for the hugs and such. Kids that have parents that take the time to love on and hug them and cuddle with them will be the ones that are the most daring, bold and adventurous kids. We can give them what they need which is the constant reassurance that someone loves them, is there for them and will catch them when they fall. It sounds like you are doing a WONDERFUL job!
If he does start to "require" this at night though, then I'd just let him cry it out at that point, only at night. I would never change that cuddle time at night and on the weekends. It's his way of making up for the time you are gone. As hard as we providers try, we just can't be you.
Suzi
What does he sleep in at the sitters? Maybe if you tried putting him in whatever he sleeps in there, he'll sleep better at home on the weekends.
He knows that you'll hold him when he wakes up and I'm sure he enjoys you holding him. But don't start that habit now or it will haunt you later. He knows the sitter won't hold him, so he doesn't expect it from her. When he starts to wake up, let him settle some on his own. If he doesn't settle down after a few minutes, then sooth him until he does settle down, but don't pick him up yet. Sometimes they cry a little while sleeping.
Some friend's son refused to sleep anywhere but his parents chest until he was almost three. He would fall asleep on their chest then they would try to move him to his bed and he'd wake up and the process started all over again. It became a habit for him that was hard to break. It took a long time for them to break the habit and that happened becuase they were pregnant with their second. It was hard on them as a couple. That said just so you'll watch out and not let any habits form that will be hard to break. Good luck and God Bless.
At that age I would say if you DONT pick him up and try to comfort him in the bed or let him cry a minute he should go back to sleep.
When he wakes up after 45 minutes, give him a few minutes to settle back into sleep. Babies sometimes cry in their sleep or they really don't wake up all of the way and crying is their way of getting themselves back to sleep. Perhaps you are picking him up too soon and not giving him enough time to put himself back to sleep. He knows that you will come running and of course he likes to sleep in your arms. If you want to break the habit, let him cry a little bit and learn how to put himself back to sleep. Of course it will not be easy for you, but if he already puts himself to sleep at night and does well at the sitters, he will probably learn quickly that his tricks to get his parents to jump are over and he'll learn to put himself back to sleep. Good luck. Consistency is the key!
our 3 month old isn't a great napper, but is getting better. She has to be held to fall asleep, but for her first two naps will allow herslef ot be put in bed after falling mostly asleep, and she does the same thing at night as your baby (thank goodness!). We have the same problem with the evening naptime, and we had it with our oldest child too. For her we let it continue that way until she stoppped taking an evening nap, around 6 months old i think. We plan on the same thing with our 3 month old. I don't have a problem with it, the evening nap goes away pretty soon and I too liked holding the sleeping baby in the evening. Both my daughters have just been a little more fussy in the evenings and may just need the extra attention, especially after being away at the sitters.
Routine, routine, routine...
Make sure you have a routine you follow every time you put your kiddo down. The nap routine will be different from the night routine, but make sure you follow each. He will know what to expect when you give him that routine. There will be A LOT of sacrifice at the beginning... not going out to dinner, running errands in the evening, etc... because you want to get him in that routine. When you get him used to the routine, you can waver a little on it once in a while. It is worth the work and sacrifice now to make it easier on you and him later. It took us a couple of weeks to get our daughter in her routine but now it is WONDERFUL. As soon as we hit that last part of the routine, she has her head on my shoulder and she is ready for bed. She is a year old now and has not woken up in the middle of the night since... I can't even remember... probably when she wasn't quite three months old. She sleeps from 7 to 7, and takes a 2-3 hour nap each day after lunch (she had two naps a day until she turned one).
As far as picking him up every time he cries, I would stop that now if you can. The cuddling is warm and fun but it can create a difficult situation later. If you're loving on him during the day, he knows he is loved. Holding him when he sleeps is more for you than for him. When he does wake up and can't soothe himself, go in, lay him back down and say, "It's time to go to sleep." As much as you want to, don't love on him. If he continues, wait about five minutes then do the same thing. If he continues after that, do the same thing but don't say anything to him. He needs to know that it's time to sleep.
A friend of mine at work was going through the same thing with her five month old son. I told her what we did and she tried it. It took less than two weeks and her son has been sleeping through the night ever since.
Stick with it and it will work.
GOOD LUCK!!
