Being a Single Mom Coping W/ Adhd and Raising a Child

Hey A.,

I am a single mom to two girls ages 5 and 1.5 and I also have ADHD. The first thing I did was get on medicine, my doctor prescribed Concerta, it's not one that can make you feel funny like Ritalin, in fact the first the first month I was on it I didn't think it was doing anything until my co-workers would jokingly ask if I had taken my medicine that day. I sympathize with you trying to juggle all the things you have to do, the one thing you need to make sure you do is take some time to your self, even if it is only one hour a week. Otherwise you will end up even more frustrated. I stick to a pretty normal routine with them. I make sure that they go to bed at 830 and sadly I'm usually right there with them. Except on Friday's, my mom and dad watch them overnight and that is my time. Even if I spend it watching anything but cartoons I'm happy and then I have my whole bed to myself! Sometimes I go out with friends too. If you ever need anything let me know!

I also am a single mother with ADHD, my daughter 9 also has the same. Unfortuately I have had no family support, not many friends who want to pitch in either. It has been very hard and almost impossible as i have gone to school full time and worked full time for the past 7 years. I have found it almost impossible to study and keep my daughter occupied, not to mention find a babysitter or a social life. But i think it is key to find time for yourself and get the sleep necessary to allow yourself to grow and process and focus. I only found out i have ADD two years ago. I am now on medication and feel like a new person. I still struggle with everyday life beyond belief. No one that has not experienced this disability can fathom what the hurricane in my mind does to me and my life. I feel your pain, hang in there. I believe a support group for this type of thing is very necessary

love
jaded mami

I don't know if you have tried any medication or if you can afford it. My 10 year old daughter uses Concerta during the school years so she can learn at school. She hates it, but so far that is the only way she can focus. I myself am a single parent and find it is a very lonely and challenging job. Good Luck!

Hi A. I am a mom of one and I also have ADHD. I know it's hard for others to understand that one of your biggest issues is organization. What comes easy for others come very hard for people with ADHD. It's also hard to focus one task to complete. You need to stop thinking of ADHD as a disability that only helps the pesamist in you look at your situation in an even bleaker way. People with ADHD are often of above average intelligence so that is a positive. Are you on medication? The only advise I can give you is to use those good days when you have a lot of energy and are getting things done to your advantage. If things aren't going your way, don't stress. Don't be hard on yourself. Try using a timer to let you know when to end or begin a task. Don't give in to your impulse to do one last thing. Tell yourself, to finish the task and then stop. Try to stick to a schedule. Write a list of three things to do each day itstead of the impossible list you give yourself everyday. Just do 3 things. Break large tasks into small steps. Get information, read, see a therapist of coach who specializes in ADHD. Above all do not let it bring you down. You are you and nothing is wrong with you, you just don't fit into societies expectation of normal. As people evolved some didn't as others did, meaning your ideas of time and space are different. Remember time, and most everything else is made up, it's a requirement someone who was good at it made. Most people are able to flow with the pattern, yet some have a different preprogrammed clocked. ADHD is very common it's because that's just how some people are. Hunter's and Gather's Hunter's work at night and don't have to follow a rigid schedule. Gatherer's wouldn't have crops if they didn't follow a schedule and work during the day. It's just one of those biological quirks. Last of all get sleep go to bed even if you want to stay up, don't because you'll just be tired the next day.

My mom was a single mom and a couple things that she did and didn't do were she never treated me like an adult, she let me be a kid. I am grateful for that now, because I was able to have fun and she didn't bog me down with problems I am sure were weighing on her mind. I know it is easy to share with your children when they are what you have, but find a friend or use your boyfriend as that buffer. It will help make a difference. Second she always made time for me. She would let me sleep at my grandparents once a week, and I found out later that she actually went to work and finished up what she needed to do while she was coming to my plays, and volleyball games I didn't know that til I was in college and it made me admire her even more. Just be strong for your kids. If you believe in God and have faith rely on Him, He is the only one that can successfully carry you through and give you that kind of strength. Good luck to you.

Hi A.!
I am a single mom of 3, full time day care teacher, and full time college student. It is not easy but we all do what we have to to keep our families running. Fortunate for you, you have your boyfriend and his parents to help out and your mom too. I dont have any of that...it is just me and the kids.

I make sure that everyone is on a schedule! That is the most important thing. I use a calander on my fridge to write down important information (test dates for me and the kids, dr appointment, days off from work and school, boy scout/girl scout meeting, and anything else that happens to come up). When you write out your schedule, make sure you include a few minutes to look over your calander each night, this way you know what is going on the next day and for the remainder of the week. I also keep a folder by my bed with important info in it (bills, letters from friends, ect) so that I can look over these things at night just before I go to sleep. Having everything written down is the best thing that I have (recently) learned. I have never been good at making to do lists but I learned how when I started going back to school and let me tell you it is a life saver! Knowing what is the most important thing to get done is as easy as looking at the list since it is prioritized by importance. I usually make the list good for one week and have everything written into it.

I hope that some of this helps.

Hi A. my names S. and as i cant telll you how to deal with ADHD i can tell you that you and i are not that different. I have Bi-Polar disorder. I have mood swings.
And the only way i make it is by talking with someone at least once a month, a life skills coach. Try to find a life skills coach in your area. And the most important thing is to be okay with your disorder. And take ONE DAY AT A TIME. Dont exert yourself. If ya need anything, message me, lets talk..