Behavoiral Problem Child and Hormones at Seven

Hi T.,
Try taking her to a pediatric endocrinologist soon. It may be that she is starting puberty too early. There are long term consequences when you start puberty too early. One is height - she may be taller than her classmates now, but early onset of puberty reduces her adult height. Plus, she may be having adjustment issues. They can now slow down early onset of puberty with drugs.

Dr. Zeller in Naperville is a really good pediatric endocrinologist. ###-###-####)

I think it probably the school. Is there a reason she doesnt like it? We moved into a wealthier community at one point and my kids just didnt fit in and it just wasnt working out they hated school. So we then moved to a more average area where it was easier for them to fit in. My daughter develeped really early too. She is also very tall for her age. She got her period at nine years old. I just couldnt beleive it. She is now 11 and is used to it she is 5'3 and definatly looks like she is 16...

My 6 year old son was just diagnosed with depression. It is a biological factor in our case since my husband and his family members have it. There is such a thing as situational depression. She may be depressed because of the move, the new school and the disruption of her little world that she once knew. I strongly suggest taking her to a psychologist just to let her talk things out. They will be able to tell you probably after only one session what is going on in her little mind. If the therapist thinks that it is hormones or a medical problem they will be able to steer you in the right direction. Good luck to you ! If I were you I would get on this right away, a child only has one childhood and all parents only want happiness for their child !!

Make an appt. with her pediatrician. You will drive yourself nuts trying to diagnose her with something. The move is a big change, making new friends, etc.
Don't beat yourself up for moving, it sounds like it was out of necessity not a choice.
Continue to encourage her with school and at home, but remember, YOU ARE THE PARENT.
My 7 year old receives time out for 7 minutes in his room, no playing. Also if his behavior/attitude does not improve, no computer or TV. It is effective for me, hope this helps you.
Good luck.

If a teacher has stated she "thinks" your daughter has ADHD, then the school district in now liable for testing. I am a teacher and legally and profesionally, I would never tell a parent I think a student is ADHD. I'm very surprised by this. I agree with the other moms about transitions and it sound like she's really struggling with her new placement. I also agree that puberty might be playing a role here. I was 10 when I started to menstrate and my sister was 9!!! I'm sorry your daughter is having such a difficult time. I truly hope it gets better!

I have heard that early puberty is hereditary. I think you need to look on both sides, if her father has any female siblings, or even her paternal grandmother. I think a move is hard on any child. We recently moved and have 3 kids. the one I thought would take it the hardest, did just fine and the one I thought would be O.K. had the hard time. I would suggest being as involved as you can be with her school and maybe arrange playdates or get togethers with new kids. Good Luck!

Just sounds like all the changes and she's asserting herself through obstinence (spelling?). Perhaps a counselor at school could help?

The poor child. I have 2 nieces that "grew early" like that and stuck out like sore thumbs to the other kids. They were very self concious. One became hostile and the other one would "go along" with anyone doing anything, right or wrong. To top it off, their mom and dad were having problem and moved in with me. The more hostile child hated it here, always wanted to be with her friends at her own home, stopped doing school work, etc. I went thru a couple of months of HELL here but I helped her with her work every day after school. I first gave her a snack and play outside with the dog time to give her relief from all the hours she already spent being bored and unattentive at school...just to clear out the cobwebs. We would complete 1 assignment and I gave her a 15 minute break then on to the next. She caught up on everything but when they moved the same behavior reemerged. I'm not saying I was right either. I knew she would eventually going to have to get with the program like other children or struggle her whole life...and I let her know it. Best of luck mommy.

Hi T.,
I think her school work issues are a type of protest to the move. It's a passive aggressive behavior (google that). I think she hopes that you will give up & move back to her old school. Get her to see the school therapist & start signing her up for a bunch of different after school activities in the area. This will help her to find some new friends. I also think the kids at the new school may be teasing or picking on your daughter. Being different or standing out is never easy & then adding a big life changing move must be very tramatic for her. Talk to her teacher & find out how she is interacting with the other kids.

Have you talked to her doctor about it? It sounds like all the factors point toward something environmental and not adhd. I wonder about the hormones things too. I teach 10 year olds who act like 16 year olds with their moodswings and look like 16 year olds with their bodies. I could see that affecting a 7 year old.

Good luck! You're doing your best and the fact that you care enough to write this shows that you're a great mom so it will eventually work out!

ADHD can develop at any age after the age of 6 they will test. at the same time I feel to many people are being treated for this when there is a different problem- sensory integration, diet etc... does her school offer a class I believe to be called rainbow in some schools- which is to help kids going through a hard time with a change- divorce, death or perhaps a move? have a chart about expectations and a reward system. always follow through on discipline- with my one son he gets video games taken away while the other gets no dessert. sometimes I have them write 25 times I will respect my mom etc.. I try very hard to follow through- despite their cute and creative ways to get out of punishment- mostly guilt . have you thought about having her see a counselor? good luck

Early puberty could be the case, but it could also be the other kids at school your daughter being 7 100 lb and 5 foot tall could have a lot to do with why she doesn't want to go to school. Have you asked your daughter if the other kids are making fun of her (picking on her)? I have neice who just turned 8 and is also on the above average size and I know my sister-in-law said they were having problems at school because the other kids were making fun of her. I would ask the teacher if she has noticed the other kids behavoir towards your daughter. Lets face it kids are mean and I really think this could be the problem. Good luck I wish I had the perfect answer so your daughter could be happy.

A.
full time working mom of a great 3yr old daughter.

Sounds like she is having difficulty with this new transition in her life. Children react behaviorally when they have difficulty transitioing or adjusting to a new situation. My niece, who is 4 yrs, recently changed classrooms (from a class she really liked and a teacher she really liked to class that she didn't like and to a teacher who she said was mean). She reacted by crying every morning and refusing to go to school. This was a child who loved to go to school when she was in the other classroom. I talked to her about it and she told me that the teacher yelled at her and the other students and this is why she didn't want to go to school anymore. Try talking to her about it. She is old enough to tell you what is bothering her if you are open to listening to her with no other distractions. You may consider counseling to help get her through this transition. A qualified professional would notify you if they felt she had ADHD or any other mood disorder. But I think she is too young for puberty.....sounds like adjustment difficulty.

This may not have anything to do with it, but she isn't a soy milk drinker or eating alot of soy products? Or maybe it's the move and being away from her friends. L.

I would suggest having her see a counselor and her school counselor. The reason I suggest both is because for the current moment, the school counselor can help address school issues and some friend stuff. But school is ending soon. She will still need someone to get through the other changes of the move such as not having friends in her neighborhood and so forth. Most private counselors take a couple of weeks to get into, so starting now would be proactive with those issues.

T., I was on the train today and just read a story that I think you should look at.... it is in Chicago Parent Magazine....http://www.chicagoparent.com/article.asp?aID=97028162.###...

It is all about early puberty. Please read the article, it will be very interesting to you. I have heard about this and I wonder if it is hereditary because I was only 9 1/2 when I got my period, so I'm very worried about my daughter... she is only 16 months, but I still think about it.

Good luck.

Good grief, you just moved in February! Even adults take longer than that to adjust to a new situation, let alone children. I would be willing to bet that is the problem. There may also be a bit of personality conflict with the teacher - maybe you could get her moved to another class temporarily to see if that helps. It certainly does not sound like ADHD or allergies to me. Mood swings in little girls are very common (I have 5 daughters and a stepdaughter, so I've seen plenty of them!) and can definitely start that early. I wouldn't call it early puberty but just part of the normal process. Be as loving and supportive as you can and if the teacher is a problem, get her moved to another class or school. Sometimes teachers claim a kid has ADHD just because they don't want to bother dealing with someone who's not quiet and compliant all the time - I'm not sure that's what you're seeing, but it's something to look out for. Stop feeling guilty for moving. It's part of life and we all can adjust to it. Part of what families do is change for one another when it's best, and she's not too young to know that. Don't apologize for it; but do acknowledge to her that you know the change is not always easy.

Having her see a counselor or psychologist, maybe one who does play therapy, may help understand her. Is she being teased at school by peers for her weight? You can have her draw a picture or write about her anger, then have her explain the picture to you. Only ask questions, don't try to assume what something in the picture means. Help her talk about ALL her feelings......andger, sad/hurt, fear, guilt connected to the situation. Anger is likely just the tip of the iceberg of feelings covering the love that she is. Just listen, don't try to persuade, justify, defend, etc. in that first talk. Maybe even repeat back toher what you are hearing and ask her if you are getting it right. If nothing comes from talking to her and school personel, then go the medical route.

When females reach 110 lbs puberty kicks in. My niece was kept on a strict diet during her swim team years so she didn't start her periods until she was 17...her body fat % had been so low it retarded development. Think of all those Olympic gymnasts.

Your daughter may be being teased because of her size and weight.You need to make her teacher aware of your concerns so that she can start taking note of what is going on and why. If this is the case, it is the teacher's responsibility to STOP the other students from picking on her.

In the mean time, see a doctor about her weight. Have her referred to a neurologist to have her tested. ONLY a neurologist can diagnose ADHD NOT her teacher!

Also, check into seeing a counselor or psychologist at school or better yet on your own.

I raised an ADHD son and an ADD son. It runs in our family.

Take care of everything NOW so she can start off fresh and ready in September.

D. D.
Teacher 15 years and soon to be a Principal
P.S. The is no such thing as BIG Bones. Having been in the Science field for 15 years and two years of nursing school, I can assure you bones, unless one has the disease John Merrick had (Elephant Man), all bones are the relatively the same diameter in relation to height and age as the next person. Saying someone is "big boned" is just a P.C. way of saying overweight.

T.,

Have you asked your daughter what is happening at school? Maybe she is getting picked on by the kids? Does she have any friends yet? Have you check to see if any of the moms get together for play dates at the park? Please don't get upset is your daughter over weight or just big boned? This can play an issue with behavior and she may have hormone issues. Does she dring a lot of milk? Milk has been shown to have hormones in it and can be playing a factor in her weight and how fast she's growing. If you are interested in trying nutritional products and want to talk about her diet. I to am a single mom and have an 8 year old and she gets very stressed at school and I have her on some liquid nutritional supplements to help with hormone balancing and it helps with emotional eating and focus. It is a very safe product for adults and kids. My whole family is on it and we love it and it has made a huge difference for all of us. Also making diet changes is important as well. I live in Bensenville if your interested in meeting let me know I would be happy to help.
Many Blessings,
Maca Marge

Try taking her off all gluten products. I know it helps with behavior issues.

T.
I have an eight yr old daughter that has had major mood swings too and is showing signs of early puberty (it runs in my family)She will exhibit hostile behavior at times and not want to speak or speaks only half sentences and rudely. Usually when I finally sit down with her it tends to be something that happened at school that she has internalized. I would suggest setting aside time for just mom/daughter activities. My daughter and I go to the local coffee shop and sit and talk about anything or nothing at all, it helps with communication. I wouldn't push her but just ask yes/no questions for awhile until she starts to open up. It may take awhile but with all the changes she may feel that you've left her out to dry. Moving is one of the most stressful life changes a person can make ( i believe there are 7 altogether). She probably feels out of place and is teased at school. All these things add up to make her very unhappy. You might talk to one of the school administrators or counselors, sometimes things happen in unstructured time when the teacher isn't around, most of our issues are after school program, recess or lunch, I find that talking to asst administrator helps because she will pull in noon time supervisors and others that see my kids interact during those times and can give a better indication of social issues.

I would also suggest rewarding good behaviors rather than negative ones. Perhaps let her pick out her rewards, so if she gets an "A" on her math test, you take her skating for an afternoon.

It's not easy being a single mom, I was separated from my husband for a year with a 7 year old daughter and an 8 year old son. When everything falls to you its difficult.
Have her get involved with housework or cooking with you and you might try finding other social activities for her. My son is not athletic and baseball is a very big thing around here, so we joined 4H. There's lots for kids to do even if they don't live on a farm and its a lot of projects parents do together with kids.

She may just need the extra attention and understanding.

Good luck!

Does your daughter eat alot of sugar or simple carbs (chips, white bread, white rice, etc.)? Sugar is such a poison to the system ~ some people more than others. It also can contribute to ADHD, mood issues, concentration, etc. The simple carbs turn to sugar in digestion. Try putting her on fresh whole foods, mostly veges as fruits, though good, also have sugar in them. Also stay clear of fast food and feed her meats/eggs that don't have secondary hormones in them.