OK, so this is the first year at "real school" for my 5 year old daughter. She has always attended a Mother's Day Out and Pre-school so this is nothing new. She has serious behavior problems at school and home. We and the teachers have tried everything from time-out, grounding, positive re-enforcements, rewards for good behavior. Today she got in-school-suspension for physically being removed from an area because she would not listen. She is not throwing temper tantrums but rather ignoring, refusing to do her work, leaving class without asking and not following instructions. I am always voluteering at school and have already insured that the teacher and I are doing the same things at school as we are at home when she acts out so as not to confuse her. I am acyively involved in her school which I am unsure if it is helping or making things worse. She is very active, short attention span and has a hard time concentrating. I am looking for a behavioral Psychologist and wanted to know if anyone else out there had some recommendations and or advice. Thanks ahead of time.
I would suggest Dr. Susan Istre at the Center for Social Success- ###-###-####.
I have heard her speak at several inservice trainings and she is excellent.
Good job getting help. There are a lot of causes for this type of behavior, so you may need to try several different things before you hit on the one or two that really work for your child.
Rusty Lozano, www.onlinebiofeedback.com , is a great counselor for kids with a broader range of skills than you might expect from an LPC. He has done biofeedback, QEEG-guided neurotherapy, interactive metronome and play/talk therapy with my kids since they were 5. Offices in Addison and Plano.
Diet and excercise are important. No artificial colors or flavors, no preservatives (BHT and BHA are particularly bad), no high fructose corn syrup...basically eat REAL food and not too much sugar. Supplementing Omega-3 fatty acids can really help some kids. There are various gummy's in most stores now. I used to make my son run sprints on the playground before school in Kindergarten. This improved his ability to concentrate in class. Now we walk to school, so he runs part of the way. Taking a break for some heavy physical activity, then returning to something that requires her to sit still might make it a little easier for her. It only takes about 1-2 minutes of heavy jumping or running to make a big difference.
If she's not following directions, first make sure she heard them. That means make phyisical contact (a hand on the shoulder or arm), make eye contact (wait until she looks in your eyes), give the direction, then have her repeat it back to you. Sounds laborious, but it's a lot less stressful on both of you than yelling the same instruction 5 times from far away, then by the time you march over to her, you're mad and she's confused because she really didn't hear you.
We've also had good results (not dramatic, but small steps in the right direction) from cranio-sacral massage therapy (we like Ken Piercy www.kenpiercy.com or Suzanne Aderholt at Integrative Pediatric Therapy); chiropractic adjustments help too. We like Melissa Shelton in Frisco, but have heard good things about Madeline Glass in Addison, and Alan Chen in Plano.
Is your daughter sleeping well? Are allergies keeping her awake at night? One mom I know put a video camera in her son's room all night for a few nights. When the doctor saw how restless his sleep was, he had his adenoids out immediately. His ADHD-like behavior improved dramatically. Basic allergy management means an allergen-barrier mattress cover, hard floors, no curtains, wash all bedding (including stuffed animals) in hot water weekly.
Good luck. There is no magic bullet...beware of anyone who claims to have one. You know your child best, so seek input, but trust your own instincts as to what is the best way to support your child.
S.
SAHM of 3
Hi P.,
You've been given some great advice on here. I would second Angela's advice, and also contacting Ray Levy or Dr. Istre. I am also a therapist in Allen, and I've used those two individuals as well.
Expounding on what Angela said, I think this is a DEFINITE sign that your child needs you. And I would not be too quick to diagnose an issue like ADHD - this is far too common, and definitely NOT the case in most cases. I mean, think about it... all kids who "act up" are not ADHD or Bipolar Disorder. As parents, we are way busier than we used to be, and we don't give the time to kids that we wish we could. It sounds like you volunteer and are very involved, but your child may need some extra TLC, and I would definitely give it!
Work with a counselor who is NOT quick to diagnose - that is my best recommendation here. Behavior modification is good, but sometimes it's just a little tweaking rather than an entire regimen that creates stress with your child.
Good luck to you. =)
I suggest the Block Center.
The amount of time you are investing in helping your daughter at her school is actually more time than it requires for you to homeschool her yourself. Your daughter obviously needs you and is not coping with this sort of situation. Not too long ago, people wouldn't even start formal schooling until age 7.
Check out AmblesideOnline.com and keep your daughter home. Read to her, get a workbook for preschoolers to work on, play music and dress up and cooking and caring for dolls...you will be giving her a better education than the lovely teacher and peer group.
Set up play dates and park days with the many area homeschoolers, and you can continue to work from home without the stress of busy mornings and afternoons.
Give it a try and see if she bounces back. Your daughter needs and wants YOU, not what anyone else can give.
Good luck!
~A.
P.-
I am an elementary school teacher and the mother of a 4 1/2 year old daughter, who sounds VERY similar to yours.
The behavior you are describing (and that is also so frustrating!) is VERY COMMON in children with ADD/ADHD....
The lack of focus, short attention span, hard time focusing are the classic symptoms.
The defiant behaviors you are describing sound like a subsidiary problem associated with ADD/ADHD called oppositional/Defiance disorder (ODD)
I HIGHLY recommend you go to the CLEMENTS CLINIC in Plano and get your daughter evaluated...they are awesome and are well known for not only diagnosing ADD/ADHD, but diagnosing the specific TYPE your child has and using behavioral psychology/therapy and nutritional supplements to support.
Log on to the website....
Try going to the Healthmarket and getting fish oil (omega 3/6 DHA) and see if it helps with her focus.They have special kinds for kids that taste "yummy" so they will take them. Also, a diet high in protein and cutting out a lot of the sugar will help. It has helped my daughter tremendously!!!
I am a behavioral consultant and would love to meet with you. I do things like Super Nanny. I come to your home and /or school and look at the situations and then give recommendations on how to fix it!
Call me ###-###-####
K. Estell
First day at schol is a very exciting moment for both the parents and child. In your own case, it might be that your child is taking undue attention because you are always at school. Try to give a gap, when you show up to volunteer, do not let your 5-year old see you, nor be in your group, if possible. My children would act out when I am around school building especially in military uniform on last day of school to make sure all kids get into the right car and picked up by right parent, nanny or family member. I had to do my assignments for eight years anyways.
Again, check your child for AD&D ( Attention Defficit Disorder), the earlier this is caught in time and corrected, the better). Sometime, this behavoir fades off with age. Your child might be a liitle too young to start real school depending on what month of the year he was born.
Daycare is not the same as kindergarton nor first grade.
Let me share this joke with you: One of my three children came back form school on his firat day in elementary school, I asked, "How was your first day in school?" His reply was, "Mom, Thank God, we did not write". What would you do if you were in my shoes? I could not hold back the laugh. My second question was " What then did you learn?". Reply: "Oh!! , my teacher read to us." Did you listen to her? " Yes ,mom." He narrated what was read to him. You can see, this child was not afraid to go to school but scared of being asked to write. I had to pick him up from his fears and make him write 100 words a day after school until he felt conversant with writing. So, find out what the core problem is with your child. Sometimes, purnishment is not the bset solution to a problem. Find out if he really wants to be in that class or ask the teacher to put him in front row with less distractions. It might be that a teacher-student relationship is not cordial. Make adjustments. Listen to your child when he comes home. Play games and ask him questions, he would open up. One thing you would not like is your child to be afraid of school at that early age.Itis nerve-raking to parents each morning.
Comments such as "I do not like my new teacher", is a red flag. Or I do not like a particular subject or my teacher is always picking on me". Kids say things exactly the way they feel. Your child does not have to be with a class or teacher he does not like. It leads to poor performance in classwork resulting in lower grades. You do not want that. Could it be temper-tyrrant or truancy? Find out.
Help your child to mould his life at this tender age. The reward is an everlastimg reward.
All the best,
J. I.
All the best.
I think you are absolutely right to take her to see a professional. Something is going on with her and they will help you find out what that is. Good luck!
Good morning, P.,
You may want to have your daughter checked out by a good neurologist to identify any possible problems. Dr. Jonathan Walker in N. Dallas is excellent and doesn't believe in pushing drugs on children. He can tell if behaviour therapy will help your daughter.
Good luck!
B. G. (mother of 8, grandmother of 4)
I would recommend Dr. Ray Levy. For more information, his website is drraylevy.com.
Stephanie has already given you excellent advice, so I'll only add my 2 cents worth in the listening arena. I found out just recently that for some reason, when my 14 yr old son would look up and to the right, the pathways from his ears to his brain would shut off. LaRue Eppler uses something called the One Brain technique, and she used muscle-response testing to determine this. Once she had him do some specific exercises at home and re-tested to make sure that they worked, his listening skills improved dramatically! Now that he's in high school, we are thrilled with his nearly straight A's and teachers are commenting on his maturity and dedication...quite a turn-around from middle school. Was it all due to LaRue? Don't know, but the timing was too coincidental to simply brush off.
Once you have taken some more steps to determine if it's allergies (I recommend Dr. Steve Homoky for NAET treatments), lack of sleep, or some other physical ailment, though, I recommend taking a step back from the volunteering. Your daughter sounds extremely independent, and this may be her way of asking you to let her do things her way. It's all an experiment with these kids, because they just keep changing on us! :0) Good luck, and keep looking and praising her for the good things she does. I know from experience that it's too easy to get caught up in what they are doing wrong.
