Behavior Problems (ADHD Sensory Issues, Etc...) Experienced Mamas, I Need Help!

Sounds like it's a good thing you're going to see a behavior specialist. You might be able to get some help from your school system too. If this type of behavior continues all the way to kindergarten age, then he will have a lot of trouble fitting in.
Some of it's probably normal for an active 3-year old boy. Some things sound a lot like my son who has Aspergers/ADHD. The constant noises(humming, buzzing, singing), difficulty transitioning to a different activity. The advanced vocabulary, playing better with adults or older kids, doesn't do well with team sports. At that age, my son would be the only kid not sitting on mom's lap during story or parachute time. He couldn't take a nap at mother's day out and would sometimes get sent home in less than 30 minutes. The positives are that he's amazingly creative and inventive and great with machines and tools.

Some things that have helped him are Occupational Therapy(helped with fine motor skills, core muscles, and spatial awareness), speech therapy(needed help using language correctly to communicate better with peers), ADHD meds(only after proper diagnosis by a pediatric neurologist in 2nd grade), extra support at school(an aide in pre-k through 2nd grade to keep him on task and not disrupting the class), picture schedule, sensory activities esp. in kindergarten(such as a ball pit, body sock, weighted vest, skin brushing, sand table, chewable necklace, bean bag chair, balance board), social skills classes, and counseling from someone specializing in high-functioning autism.
One book I remember reading was Quirky Kids- Understanding and Helping Your Child Who Doesn't Fit In- When to Worry and When Not to Worry
by Klass and Costello.

Ok, first I want to tell you congrats on the new baby. Such a wonderful time in your life. Please try to enjoy it! :)
Second, you are NOT alone! Your son is actually not the only little boy who has ever acted like this, so breathe. It's ok. It sounds like he may have ADHD, which you may have known. It's not really all that scary, and doesn't mean that you need to rush out and medicate him. You may never need to medicate him. (he may not even have it, but at this age it is VERY hard to tell because most little boys are very active) I think that you should try something that one of my son's doctors suggested to me. Any ADHD medication is a stimulant, so the next time you notice your little guy is "off the wall" hyper and you would like him to kind of settle down and be able to focus on something and be able to play for a while, give him a little Pepsi or Mt. Dew. I know it sounds crazy, but there is a ton of caffene in those drinks, also stimulants, and they will work differently on an ADHD child than on a child who is not ADHD. If he is in fact ADHD, the caffene will actually help to SETTLE him down a little and help him be able to focus on whatever play or task he is doing. I am not saying to give him a 12 oz. can, but maybe 3 to 4 oz. (works WONDERS with my adhd child, and they even used it in school for testing)
The other thing is if you have a chance, googe sensory integration dysfunction and the "Brushing Protocol". It will explain how this works, and what type of brish works best. We got our brush from the occupational therapist and did the "brushing" on our son's body 3 x a day for about 6 months, and he is a different child. He had a hard time with feeling the difference between soft and hard touch. You could also try wrapping your son in a blanket (while playing) and rolling him around (as a game) because he will like the more "rough or hard" touch to his skin while you have him rolled up in the blanket. I used to make a "sandwich" out of my son with a pillow, my son, and another pillow, and gently squish them on the floor. It was a game, but my son loved it. The more hard or heavy touching was easier for him to feel with his sensory issues. Any light touch was really undetectable, so he was always banging around. If you do try the brushing, please look it up though, and make sure you never brush the belly area. (way too many nerve endings there) Also, those vibrating back massagers work wonders too. Kids with sensory issues love those, and the balls with all of the nubs on them. (they look like one of those puffer fish kind of) Well, I wish you the best. :)

Oh, wow did you describe my 3 year old almost to a tee! We even have an escape artist on our hands. He likes to explore the grounds (we live on 2 acres), so he tries to get out of the house. We used to have deadbolts that were key hole on one side and just a knob on the other. We recently switched our locks so that a key is always necessary. We have a sliding glass doore on our deck. Many people will have a block of wood that can be placed on one side of the door so that it can't be opened from the outside. My husband attached the block of wood to the wall about 5 1/2 feet off the ground. It swings and hooks into the door, preventing it from being opened from the inside or the outside. You would think we had our bases covered, but we've had to hide our keys in the linen closet so that he can't unlock the door (yes, he figured it out wihtout our help).

He just loves to run, he loves to climb, he loves to explore. I'm guessing part of the problem is that he lacks impulse control.

When we are out, he is required to hold my hand. If he tries to get away, I remind him that he either holds my hand or gets carried. The child weighs 40 pounds, so I do not want to carry him. Good thing he doesn't actually want to be carried!

I have also wondered if I need to discuss this with my ped. I did talk to his speech therapist about it (just happen to remember to bring it up), and she really thought that he was still within an ok range. I'm not sure she would say "normal" range, but not so old that it's something she would jump at. She gave me several reasons why she thought he was just a late bloomer.

My dad tutors at a local grade school, and he said many of the boys have trouble sitting still. He said you can just see their muscles twitching when they have to sit too long.

I think it is so great that you are going to the behavior specialist. Maybe you should print out your question here so that you don't forget to mention anything. Or just make a list of your concerns and bring it with you. Maybe he's just a late bloomer. Maybe there is something that you can do to help him a bit. I'm hoping to get some answers soon myself.

Good luck, and know that you are NOT ALONE!!! Please do give us an update and let us know what the specialist says.

Oh my gosh - you just described my life! My son - exactly same as you describe as above - was 3 when my daughter was born. My daughter was born a week before Christmas and the day of, during gift openning, I went to the other room and broke down crying "I don't know what else to do and I feel he's going to somehow break her!!!"

I would give more specifics, but like I said, you just described how my life was just a couple of years ago (my son is 5.5 - he has an 'on the fence' diagnosis of ADHD and/or PDD-NOS - there hasn't been a difinitive diagnosis). If this is any consolation - he has calmed a bit but we still struggle. We've read every single behavior book and tried implementing everything and it just seems nothing worked for him - people who do not have such a child will just think "oh, you need to be more strict, you're not setting definitive boundaries, etc etc."

Basically, I am just responding in support and to tell you - I KNOW what you're saying and how you're feeling. Best of luck at the behavioral specialist - they will likely give you some great tips to help work on the challenging behaviors at home.

Wow, you really have your hands full! I am glad you will be seeing someone next week to help you out!!
There could be so many dynamics going on here. And I think seeking out professional help was a great move. He could be sensitive to sugar, food additives....who knows.
In the meantime, have you tried balancing keeping him active but the implementing a quiet time for him? Find a room or spot and completely safe proof it, and tell him he needs to stay in there for x amount of time. You can try stayng with him. Put on some soothing music, maybe even dim the lights a little. ANd read him a book, tell him to "read" whichever works. You may need to tweak it a bit.
It sounds exhausting, and I can't imagine! My last two have been handfuls as well. But they weren't destructive and so "energetic" Hang in there and best of luck! Let us know how things go :)

You sure you did not kidnap my nephew, because that is so him that you described. he is 7 now. My nephew and brother live with my mother and they had a very hard time with him especially at your son's age. My brother is divorced and my nephew has a mother that goes in and out of his life leaving my brother to be the sole caregiver. My brother never consulted anyone about his behavior, but in the meantime he got tons of complaints from preschool and kindergarten. He even got kicked out of the after care program. Finally, the school in first grade initiated a special education meeting with my brother. They found enough characteristics to give him an educational diagnosis of aspergers. With this he got social skills classes, a dicipline and reward system, and weekly consults with the school psychologist. His behavior has improved immensely at school, he still has problems at home although he is better. I personally don't think my brother knows how to discipline. He never follows through with consequences. I think if my nephew had a structured and disciplined environment his behavior would be much better. You can try go to your local school district and have him evaluated based on his behavior and at time impaired social skills and he may qualify for public preschool under the special education system which will really help him and prepare him for kindergarten and beyond. I am hope the behaviorist will give ideas for dealing with his behavior.

A lot of issues show themselves as the child turns 3. It seems to be the "magic" age where the brain moves into a different area and all these behavior problems start showing more prominently.

I would talk to the pediatrician about it but i would also take it a step further. I would make sure the insurance would cover it first but I'd have a psychologist do an evaluation on his for possible issues such as SPD or even some others.

As for the running...I cannot say I have empathy for you. Our 5 year old grandson is a runner and we, as the grown ups, do not let him walk anywhere without holding our hands or sitting in the cart. He is not allowed to run nor is he given the opportunity to take off. We know he is a runner therefore he is not allowed the freedom to be free of hand holding or a lead that is attached to a large dog collar around his waist if he is not wearing a harness. We did forget his harness one time and were at the county fair. I was exhibiting a garment and we had driven across the county to get there. We used a dog collar around his waist and attached the lead to the metal loop. It worked just fine. We did get a few looks but he was safe and that was the important thing.

Congratulations on having the baby, Mom. I'm glad your son loves the baby.

I'm glad that the ped has a behavioral specialist, but I think there's more that you need. You need a play therapist to assess him. You also need an OT who works with Sensory Integration/Processing. (Not every OT does, so you especially need one who has the experience.)

He is seeking out risky behavior and lots of sensory input because he needs it. Sensory problems present themselves in a lot of different ways. One of my sons was always crashing into stuff because he couldn't "feel" it like us. He would have bruises all over him and didn't even feel hurt from getting them. The OT made great strides with him and it made a big difference for him and for us.

The doctor is asking you about his social interactions because he is concerned about your son being somewhere on the autism spectrum. I would pay attention to this, if I were you. Early intervention is critical at this stage if this is the problem.

The other possibility is that your son has ADHD. At his age, he certainly lacks impulse control - the question is whether it is only because he is this age or because of more.

Work with the specialists as much as you can. It will really help you help him, and help you understand what is going on with him.

Good luck, Mama!

Dawn

Find an Early Childhood Intervention program in your area. They will do an eval at no cost to you. They will be able to give you lots of advice and information. Your son can also receive services from them until he is 4 and they will help with the transition to another program then.
When I worked at ECI here, we used a scrub brushing technique that amazing results with the issues you have described.