Bedtime Routine Advice

Updated on March 24, 2009
C.C. asks from Baldwin, ND
15 answers

I'm looking for some bedtime routine ideas. The routine for us right now is brushing teeth pajamas and a book while listening to lullabies on a cd. I used to breast feed before bed and then changed that to a bottle while I read a book. I switched to sippy cups but they are so messy and I do the book in the bedroom. I'm trying to get away from the milk while a read the book, but my twin girls won't sit still for the book and are up and running around the room. I'd like something more soothing. We can't add a bath into the routine because it's just too hard with the two of them at this age and they like to play in the bath so it's not relaxing. Also if it were just one, I'd hold them with the book and I know they'd relax and just listen. With two I can't do that and so they go into play-mode. Any ideas? Oh and I keep the lights down too. They just don't seem to understand that it's bedtime until I put them into their cribs and then they are all upset since I haven't really eased them into the idea that they are going to bed.

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So What Happened?

You guys were great! I took several different things from all your advice. First I've relaxed about the fact that they just don't want to go to bed. It's normal, so I feel better about that. I started giving them the milk at the table before we brush our teeth and only like 2 ounces. I'm going to also buy the straw sippies to try and see if those work better for them. They can drink out of cups, but sometimes it's nice to have something spill-proof. I also started using a book we have where they can put the baby animals "to bed" by sliding the little cutout into a flap in the book. They LOVE it and they sit still while I read and take turns putting the animals to bed. Although they still don't want to go to bed they seem to understand the routine better, fall asleep faster, and it's just easier for me to deal with. Thanks so much!

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K.M.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

What started to work wonderful for me is that I let my daughter take a book or toy into bed with her. She winds down looking at the book with a night light on and then falls asleep on her own and does not get upset. I would keep the routine but then maybe let them look at a book while falling asleep and see how that works.

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R.N.

answers from St. Cloud on

If you are at all religious kneeling in prayer with each kid a a great transition from daily activities to sleep. If you add that right before the crib.

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M.N.

answers from Madison on

A lot of these reviewers are sadly underestimating the importance of books. You don't necessarily need to read at bedtime, although it is a great idea. Children need to be read to at least 20 minutes per day. You can check out a great resource called, "The Read Aloud Handbook." My husband had mentioned just last night that my son wasn't sitting well for stories. He tries to get out a couple of times and I keep bringing him back and then he just stays. They get used to whatever is accepted. If you want them to sit for stories you may just need to be persistent. They may also be going to bed too late? Sometimes when my little guy is overtired, we do a shortened storytime and then songs and bedtime. Hope this helps. Best of luck!

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K.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son is 2 1/2, and we've been doing pretty well with our current bedtime routine. When it's time for bed, we go in his room, he picks out 2 stories, gets into his crib, and then I read him his books. This way he can lay down and listen to the stories. After we are done, we turn on his lullaby music, lights out, and I leave the room. So far this works pretty well for us, just a suggestion.

K.C.

answers from Davenport on

I had a routine with my kids in which they would brush their teeth and show me and I would say, "Clean and bright, pearly white!" then we would go to one of their bedrooms and read a story that they could participate in. Usually we read the book 10 in the bed, a Dorling Kindersly book because the kids could say what the little boy always said ("Roll over! Roll over!) and the noises of the stuffed animals as they fell out of bed (mouse fell into a cup..'tink!'). You might try to find a few books like that in which your girls can easily 'help' you read the story to them....it will keep their attention while their bodies relax and their minds unwind. Just as I tucked my kids in I would say, "Night night....Sweet Dreams, I love you... (and say the pet name I have for them)" though I am sure you will find your own routine for your kids but I still say this to my kids as they head to bed and they are teenagers tho now I say g'night lol I found that my kids were more willing to stay in bed when I let them help read and it also encouraged them to become excellent readers :) My dad used to read us two stories each week, reading one the way it's supposed to be read, the other being one we were familiar with and reading it correctly on the first night but making up his own story after that so that we would call him out on it lol We had lots of fun this way and eventually would help my dad change the story too. :) This also encouraged us to read because we always wanted to know exactly where he changed the story at but most important, when it was story time, we were ready to settle down because we knew it would be fun :)

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E.M.

answers from Des Moines on

I think your routine sounds fine. My son is only 12 months old but for the past 2 months he has a sippy cup with some expressed breast milk in it before we head up to his room. As afar as relaxing goes i think the routine itself is the relax, the tip that it is time to chill. After my son finishes his sippy cup we change his diaper and then my husband grabs him and i chase them up the stairs he screams and yells and giggles and within 20 mins of that he is out cold. He plays around his room and sometimes sits on my lap if he wants while we read a few stories and sing a song then i "launch" him into his crib and he he lays down we say goodnight and walk out of the room, sometime he will chatter a bit to himself but he goes to sleep. The routine you have set up is fine stick to it and eventually they will settle down. Kids need crazy time too so maybe you have a time an hour before bed that they could spend running around and burning off the extra energy or perhaps after you have read to them give them each a few books to "read" on their own after you leave then they will learn to get them selves down to rest. i was worried about my son a few weeks ago when we went on vacation 2000 miles away from home, but we continued the bedtime routine just like at home and he went to bed very well the entire week even with the 2 hour time change! Good luck with your girls!

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K.R.

answers from Grand Forks on

Your bedtime routine sounds just fine. My DS has a bath every night and he loves to splash and play but within an hour he's out like a light. He also uses a straw sippy, it's his favorite and it's not messy. You might want to try changing the sippy cup. Maybe switch from milk to water before bed. Just giving some ideas. Good luck!

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S.Z.

answers from Minneapolis on

Good Morning C..
I would like to share my experiences with my 3 children- 8yo girl,3yo boy, 1 1/2yo girl.
I have tried the traditional routines of bath or stories. The bath stimulates my kiddies, like you mentioned. And for stories, I'm too tired to read.
So our bedtime is simple & sweet. At 650pm they brush their teeth and potty/diaper. I bring cold Brita water (my oldest set that trend), they get tucked in their way of choice, hug, kiss, cuddle (rub cheeks), and smell (on cheek). =) Sound soother for the youngest, small reading lamp for the oldest, and bathroom light for my 3yo. My 3yo has 'bedroom' set up in landing area, b/c he likes a little light, & his lil sis won't sleep unless it's dark.
I keep it as their routine. They get the promise of baths & stories in the am.
Whenever my husband or I try to elaborate on the routine, they want more & more 'Daddy/Mommy stay with me.'
Our routine takes 10 minutes for 3 kiddies and they all sleep happily.
Whatever your routine, I suggest keeping it simple & consistent. =)
Oh, and I am big on early bedtime, but I let the kiddies read or have a toy. In my experience, when they do stay up later, they become emotional & have harder time settling down.
Hope you find your routine!
Salaam, S.

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T.M.

answers from Des Moines on

When my twin boys turned 2 yrs. old we switched them to regular beds, and my husband and I started lying down with them while we read to them. With us lying there with them they would actually lie down long enough to fall asleep, and the reading kept us awake.

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D.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

Hi C., When my twins were two, which was 17 years ago, I had them in a double bed. i would lay down at night with them and read to them in their bed. I even stayed until they were close to asleep after the book. I would sing songs after prayers to help settle them down too.(soothing, boring songs) They also had two older brothers, so it worked for us to lay with the boys all together. (we had a double bed bunkbed, with all four in the same room) it was easier for me to do this than to have a fight at bedtime. Good luck.

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K.P.

answers from Fargo on

Not sure if you have tried this, or if it would work logistically, but in our house we split up our two girls, with my husband putting one down, and me the other (at the same time).

We started this early and it has really helped during the transition from crib to bed. Good luck.

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A.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have one who's almost 2, so about the same age as yours--the only difference is we are in a big-girl bed now, because a new baby needed the crib.
They totally know that it's bedtime--I think they're just trying to avoid sleep. Like others have suggested, I say keep it short and sweet. Our bedtime is two books, lights out, prayers, kiss, "I love you" and "night-night" There are still some nights where we hear "more books", but we have stuck to it and when she realizes we won't give in, she is quick to comply. Unlike other responders we haven't mastered walking out without her being asleep...but we're working on it. Honestly, this whole toddler stage has made bedtime my least favorite time of day!

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E.O.

answers from Appleton on

Hi C.,

I have to agree with Cassandra's response. I wouldn't change a thing. My kids are 6 & 4 and we are still doing the same routine. It may take some time for them to really get into the routine but it will come. I just think the simple routines are what work. Too much going on might overstimulate them. There are some nights (now I said "some nights") where we don't even have to tell them its time to get ready for bed. They just are tired and start the routine themselves.

Your girls will come around :)

Good Luck :)

K.K.

answers from Appleton on

what about putting them in their cribs FOR the story? Not sure it would work or not, but that way they aren't running around and then they would get used to being in the crib first and then having a story.

Good luck!

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

You can take my thoughts for what they are worth... I think you are easing them into idea of bedtime just fine, they just don't agree with it!

I have one child so far, 15 months, and he is in constant motion unless he is sleeping, even when I am reading to him. His bedtime routine is pajamas, brushing teeth, being put in his crib w/a hug & a kiss, and a short prayer. I think just having a few steps in place lets the kids know that bedtime is coming. I have no expectations that my son will ease into bedtime like an older child or adult would appreciate.

My son sometimes fusses for 5-10 minutes because he doesn't appreciate the break in the action, but then he is fast asleep. If my son had his way, "bedtime" would consist of playing until 10:00 p.m. and then passing out wherever he was, I'm sure of it. :-)

I think your bedtime routine is fine. I don't think it's reasonable to think a toddler will embrace bedtime--even older kids like to employ delay tactics. The important thing, IMHO, is that you have a few steps in place, and you do. I have no recommendations for you, except if you want to stop the sippy cups right at bedtime, *start* the bedtime routine with them. Give the cups in the kitchen or living room or wherever else will be less of a mess. If nothing else, they should be brushing their teeth *after* the milk.

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