Bedtime for a 20 Month Old

I am a mother of 3 kids, a boy who is 5 and a boy who is 20 months and a little girl who is 4 months. I use Dr. Weissbluth's book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and my kids all sleep through the night. My oldest goes to bed at 7pm and sleeps until about 6:30 or 7am. My 20 month old goes to bed around 6:30 or 7 and sleeps until 6:30am. He also naps from about 12:30-2:30 or 3p.m. My little girl has slept through the night from about 2 months old and takes 3 good naps per day. They are all very happy kids and I definitely feel that this is due in large part to how much sleep they get. Good luck!!!

I think it really depends on the children. At 20 months, my twins went to bed at 6:30 and slept until 6:30. When we'd put them to bed later at night hoping they'd sleep later, they'd get up between 5 and 6. However, my youngest, who is now 2 1/2, went to bed between 7 and 7:30 when he was 20 months old.

My daughter is 11 months and she goes to bed between 6:30 and 7:30 and sleeps until 6:30 or 7:30 in the morning without waking up. We've defenitely noticed that an earlier bedtime helps her sleep better and longer.

6:30 is right in line with expert sleep advice. Dr. Weissbluth (author of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and nationally renowned infant/child sleep expert with over 30 years of research and experience) recommends a bedtime between 6:00 - 8:00. So, no, a bedtime of 6:30 is not unreasonable. The child falls asleep easier and tends to get more of the deep, restorative sleep.

Our son went to bed at 6:30 until he was 27 months AND he slept through the night (until 7:00) with no problem. At 31 months, he is going to bed at 7:00 - 7:15. His AM wake time is typically anywhere from 6:15 - 7:15 (the earlier is during the week when he has to get up because of our work schedule and the later is on the weekends). He also takes a daily 2-3 hour nap.

So yes, the mother's expectations of putting the kid down at 6:30 and sleeping through the night is completely normal. I bet her kid is wonderfully rested!

Edited to add:
I feel compelled to bring up the point that by respecting a child's need for sleep and proper growth/development that does NOT mean that the parent is a horrible parent or doesn't want to be with their child! Parenting isn't about purposefully keeping a kid awake past just so you can 'spend time with them'. In fact, forcing a kid to stay awake just to have more time with them can be detrimental to sleep and proper development. I completely respected my child's need for sleep, even if that meant on some days he went to bed at 6:15, before daddy even got home. It's what he NEEDED and what was best for him, not for *me*.

It's 100% wrong to assume that just because someone is being respectful of a child's need for appropriate sleep does NOT mean that they don't want to spend time with them. In fact, I think it is exceptionally selfless and rather intelligent to put the child's physical/emotional needs first as opposed to forcing a kid to stay awake just to fulfill a parental/emotional need.

I also follow Dr. Weissbluth's sleep method and my 21 month old is in bed by 6:30 and my 36 month old is in bed by 7. They both sleep through the night (until at least 6:30 am) and both nap. Sleep is one of the most important things we can give our children, as important as love and nutrition, it is how their bodies and brains grow and develop. I am lucky to stay home with my children, but please do not judge this mother because she is giving her child important sleep. I am sure it is a sacrifice on her part too as of course she wants to spend as much time as possible with her child.

If the child is waking up at 6:30 to get ready for the day then a 6:30 at night bedtime is perfect. They need 12 hours at night up until they are at least 5, sometimes as late as age 11 or 12. A child under age 5 should be getting at least 14 hours of sleep in a day, closer to 16 if they are on the younger end.

My kids are 10 and 7 and go to bed at 7:45, last year they went to bed at 7.

Hey M. L,

Definite good idea to put baby to bed early...we put our son to bed every night between 630-730 and he sleeps 12 hrs like clock work. The book Healthy sleep habits, Happy Child by Dr. Mark Weissbluth is a must read. He is a pediatrician that has studied the importance of sleep in children. His sleep training techniques are a must...a friend of ours when we were first prego told us...a lot of people are going to give you all kinds of advice some good some whatever...but this book will save you. She was right and I thank her everyday! Our children need structure so not sure what type of sleep habits your baby has...I know when we first started the sleep training there was some crying and protest but now we put him down he soothes himself and off to sleep he goes!! It is wonderful! Let me know if you have any questions...goodluck with your choice.

our son was like that and if we put him to bed later he actually slept LESS. we were bed at 6 until around 1 yr or so then it was 6:30, then at around 2.5 yrs it was 7. we are now 7:30/8 and he's almost 4.

Also my 16 month old goes to bed at 6:30 now. She wakes up around 7ish and takes a 2 hr nap during the day.

We put our child, now 23 months, to bed at 6:30 as well. We've been doing this for nearly a year now, after putting her to bed at 6pm from the age of 5 months to a year. My daughter wakes up happy and well rested, and my husband and I get quality time together before we turn in. This schedule doesn't work for everyone! As we are early risers and return home from work early, it suits our needs. In addition, we made sleep training a priority, and with the advice of Dr. Weissbluth (who advocates early bedtimes), we couldn't be happier!

My girls ALL went to bed at 6:30 from 9 months till middle of the toddler zone. Now at 4 yrs and 2.5 (twins) they all go to bed about 7pm. If they have a particularily rough nap (they all still nap 2 hours - my 4 year old is down to about an hour) then i don't hesitate to put them to bed at 6:30. Their waking time is between 7 and 8:30, varrying from child to child.

I think most US kids are WAY underslept and that parental priorities, preferences and obligations take front seat over kids' sleep needs.

My 21-month-old daughter does very well with her 6 p.m. bedtime, and she naps 1-3 hours during the day (depends on teething and when the mail comes through the door). She sleeps through the night and wakes up between 7 and 8 a.m. When she was 9 months, I was putting her down at 5 p.m. to sleep through the night. People always stare at me in amazement when I tell them how early her bedtime is, but the kid needs sleep, and the later she goes down, the harder it is for her to fall asleep. Last night, we were out for dinner with my family, and I had her in bed a little before 7. Usually she falls asleep in 15 minutes; last night it took nearly an hour. For us, even 6:30 p.m. is disruptively late. The more sleep my baby gets, the easier it is for her to face the day.

6-6:30pm has been proven by sleep experts to be the best time to put infants and toddlers to bed. The earlier they go to bed, the longer and better they will sleep. All three of my children have had a 6pm bedtime since 4 weeks old and are incredible sleepers. They are NEVER sick and are the happiest children I've seen. Our oldest just started having an hour later bedtime recently when he turned 5.
Kudos to the mom whose child you watch...it's not easy or convenient to have that sort of bedtime routine, especially as it sounds like she works. She is doing the best thing for her child.

My 28 month old is in bed (following the entire bedtime routine) no later than 7:30pm and sleeps until about 7:15am. However, at 20 months, his bedtime was closer to 7pm. Only one nap, for about 1.5 hours in afternoon.

my sixteen month old goes down between six and seven and sleeps through the night. My three year old (at twenty months) went down between 6:30 and 7 and slept through the night, as well. In all fairness, my husband and I are both teachers and have to be out of the house early, hence, early bed, early rise.

My guy has gone to bed around 7 p.m. and slept through to 7 for quite some time. Sometimes he is ready and literally asks me to put him to bed by 6:30! He's going to be 2 next month. Actually 2 of my 3 kids are like that. My oldest seems to have always been allergic to sleep before 10 p.m.

D.

We used to aim at 8 pm as a bedtime for our sons. It seems to me that 6:30 pm is probably too early for any child, especially if they've had one or two naps in the day.

Here's some additional info that you might find helpful...

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071100.asp#T071121

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/t070300-sample.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071100.asp#T071123

But do you have any input into what the mother believes about this issue?

Best wishes,
J.

Honestly, I feel that it is different for every child. I would base it on naps during the day and behavior as the evening goes on. My kids were night owls, partly my fault, but as time went on, they were in bed by 9 and slept really well, till 7 or 8. I think you have to judge that on the child and the schedule you keep.

Every child is different. My daughter would sleep like 14 hours at night so she would go down at 6:30 at that age. But by 2 she was rarely napping. Even now as a 4 year old she goes down at that time because she has to be up at 6:15 in the morn. My son is 7 months and goes down between 6-7 and sleeps till 6 or 7 the next day. Some kids need more sleep then others so you have to base it on each kid. Now if the kid is waking through the night the child may not need that much sleep.

my 3 all go down at 8 pm......my youngest is 2 and takes a 2 hour nap from 1-3......they all wake up about 7:30-8am...........every kid is different......i prefer to put them to bed at 8 so they sleep in because i am not a morning person

My son started to go to sleep early at 3 months (5-6pm) and has been sleeping straight throudh since. If he goes to bed later then 7 he is really not himself the next day. He is now 2 years old and still goes to bed around 6:30 or 7. I know it seems strange but children need between 10-12 hours of sleep. When my son does not get it or it is disrupted becasue he took his nap to late in the day then he is not rested for the following day. This past week he has been napping at 2 and not getting up till 6 or 7. Then he is up for two hours still tired, and then goes to bed at 9. He still gets up at 6am but not well rested and his day is all off. Throughout the day he isn't patient wtih himself or as happy as usual. Today he went down at 12:30 for his nap and woke up at 3:30 a new child. He will be going to bed at his normal time, 6:30 or 7, thank goodness. I hope this is helpful.

The sleep experts typically say that a really early bedtime (between 6 and 7) is recommended. They say that they sleep better and will sleep later if put to bed early.

My 16 month old goes to bed by 7:00 and wakes up between 6:30 and 8:30 depending on how he sleeps at night. Sometimes teething and gas pains interfere with his sleep.

Probably not going to happen unless that child has some sort of health issue or is drugged. We developed an 8:00 bedtime once my daughter hit 12 months. She sleeps from about 9 to anywhere between 6:30 and 7:30. (We put her to bed at 8, she usually falls asleep by 9) she is now 2 and it's worked wonderfully. She also manages to take a 2 hour nap in the afternoon.

i agree that it totally depends on the child, and many factors, like naps...
many friends thought i was CRAZY to cut out my 9 mo old's am nap, but i did it, because i wanted her to sleep on the same type of schedule as her big sister.
it didn't even take too much time to transition.
it worked for us.
now, the girls go to bed at 7 for charlotte (11 mo) and 7:30 for maddie (2.5). they both take about a 2 hour nap from 1-3. they are up for the day at 7-7:30.
we bathe them @ 6:30 and like i said, charlotte is in bed by 7.
sometimes i consider cutting out maddie's nap, so she could go to bed @ the same time as charlotte. sometimes she skips her nap & just plays in her room and she ends up going to bed at the same time as charlotte.
you can put them to bed whenever it works for you.
maybe your friend just wanted to get her child on an earlier schedule bc of work? or it just works for her.
i cannot STAND to have my kids up past 8pm.
that is my time.
i get really cranky about it.
we recently just started waking them up in the am to get them on an earlier routine.
i know people whose 2 year olds are up til 9, hey, whatever works for you.
but i would go nuts with that schedule, LOL.

It varies depending on the child. Some children, especially those in daycare who may not nap quite as well during the day, do go to bed at 6.30pm and then sleep through the night. Others go closer to 8pm. They should go when they need to and certainly more sleep is better than too little sleep.

Every family and child is different and there are very few "text book" children out there. If I put my kids to bed at 6:30 my husband would never see them awake. I put mine to be at 9 and they would sleep until 8:30 or 9 and take a 2+ hour nap. This schedule worked great for us. Of course once they started school we had to change their schedule. Do what works for your family. Good luck.

I don't think that its unreasonable....every child is different.

My daughter (who is 4 now) started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks old. She would go down at 8pm and sleep til 7am.

Now my son (he 15 months old now) started sleeping through the night at 8 weeks old. He goes to bed at 6:30pm and wakes at 7am.

Actually, I have found that when I try to keep my kids up and put them to bed later, that they wake up earlier and they aren't as well rested.

The rule i have always heard is "the more they sleep, the more they sleep"...its a type of sleep training.

Now it does suck when the child wakes, but at 20 months old, there is no "necessity" reason for the child to be up during the night. its either for the comfort of milk, cuddles, or has trouble comforting himself when he wakes and cant fall back to sleep.

Recommend that she start using a "lovey"...either a soft blankie or a stuffed animal that she can cuddle with during the night. That way when she wakes up, she will reach for her "lovey" for comfort and get back to sleep rather than wanting momma for comfort.

Hope that helps!

I don't know if I'm "normal" but I have a 21 month old daughter that goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:00 pm and will sleep until 6:30 or 7:00 in the morning.

My son is almost three years old and he goes to bed at 7pm, sleeps through the night, wakes around 6:45am and takes a two hour nap from 1-3pm.
Of course, it depends on your child, but this is definitely within the "normal" range....

Does the little one take a nap during the day? It definitely seems early, but if she's not taking a nap at all, I could see the early bed time. My daughter, thats almost 2 goes to bed between 8 - 8:30pm. & takes one nap in the afternoon. This has pretty much always been her bedtime. If she skips her nap, she still goes to bed around 8. I think the 'norm' is between 8 - 9pm.

My 19 month old has always gone to bed between 630 and 7pm and sleeps until 630-7am. Special occasions she'll stay up later. My 3yr old was the same way until about 2 and a half, then he started staying up until 730-8pm. They both nap 2-3 hours a day as well. Some days the 19 month old starts rubbing her eyes at 545!

its different for kids @ different time. My daughter has always been a great sleepr. At around a year or so seh will fall asleep around 6:00 PM. That was he time when I used to reach home after picking her at daycare. 5 Mins here and there, she will slepp with no food and still thru the nite.

Even now she is three years, she sleeps early and sleep in more important than food (bit of course not from play). Each child acts and has different normal range. Got to go with the flow!

Enjoy! the free time

Hello,

When my twins were that age, I normally put them down around 8:30 and they were usually good till around 6:30 or so. I had to keep in mind, that they were also napping in the afternoon for a couple of hours as well.
good luck

Hi-thats really early for a child to go to bed for the nite-my daughter will be 15 months in a few weeks and she goes down about 8 or 8:30 for the nite-she will sleep to between 6:30 and 8 in the morning-she also takes two 2 hour naps during the day

Hi M. For a child that age you really can't put a time on when they will go to sleep. Her mother is probably wants her in the bed at that time to at least get her use to going to bed early. She may sleep through the night and wake up early and she may not.

Define sleep through the night?

I think this is variable depending on the child and how much the child requires in sleep. In a 24 hr period of time though I think you can expect on average 12-13 hrs of sleep. This means if the child is napping 2 hrs in the afternoon, at most, the child will sleep 11 hrs at night thus waking up at 5:30, or in her case, several times throughout the night.

I would make sure the child is not teething as that can cause frequent wake ups. But it is very possible the chidl is undertired and thus causing the wake ups. Certainly every child is different. I have a friend whose 3.5 yr old still sleeps 12 hrs at night and takes a 3 hr nap. All of us secretly hate her. :) Just kidding. Whereas, I had the other extreme where I could only allow a 1.5 hr nap, and my child was only sleeping 10.5 hrs at night. A 2 hr nap meant she woke up .5 hr earlier that night.

Hope this helps.

I agree it depends on the kid, just like some adults are night owls and some do better in the morning. Our younger (20 months) does better with a later bedtime. We've moved up bedtime for both for our daughter's school schedule and now the baby is sleeping LESS.

If she's eating well and getting plenty of exercize during the day she should take a small nap then go back to bed by 7p.m.(ish) and be able to sleep 8-12 hours. Make sure she gets use to noise. Keep music going all day so she becomes use to sounds and telephones or laughter, sirens, etc. won't shake her awake during the night.

That seems early to me, too. If the baby has an afternoon nap as she probably does, i'd figure around 8 would be better or that's about when my sons went to bed at that age if I recall. Good luck. Bet that poor baby doesn't make it through the night either.

It all depends on the child. At 20 months my son was in bed by 8:00. But, I was SAH at the time so he didn't have to get up for anything. A friend of mine used to put her daughter to bed at 6:30 b/c her daughter slept a lot and was up at 6:00 in the morning and off to the sitter. She also took two naps during the day. My sons always slept about 11-12 hours at night and then a two hour nap during the day. That was all they needed. If I remember right for that age a child needs roughly 14 hours of sleep (night and nap combined). When the mother complains to you, politely ask her, have you tried putting her to bad a little later - like 7:15/7:30 - to see if that helps??? That does seem a bit early, especially if she isn't sleeping through the night. Does it affect her behaviour during the day as well?

I have a 26 month old. He goes to bed at 9pm and sleeps though the night until 7am. He also naps for 2 hours during the day. I don't know that 6:30 is normal, sound like mommy wants to put him to bed early so she doesn't have to watch him. I work during the day so every evening is time to spend with the kids, not to put them to be early. I guess it really depends if your kid naps, cuz if he doesn't then he probably wants to go to bed early.

Once we were able to establish a bedtime routine, our children's bedtime has always been 7:30. They both sleep through the night and wake at 7-7:15 AM. My youngest takes 2 naps and my 2.5 year old takes 1. 6:30 is a little early but if she likes her child in bed at that time, it's up to her. The child can also sleep through the night going to bed that early, but she has to expect the child will be up early then too. I would imagine really early, like 5 or 5:30 AM. I do have a friend who's daughter goes down no later than 6 PM ever, sleeps all night, wakes up at 8 am plus takes a 2 hour nap during the day. Every child is different, some just require more sleep than the next. There is no exact right or wrong way, just as long as they are getting a mimimum of 12 hours sleep during a 24 hour period. Doesn't matter how that works out with the schedule, just as long as they're getting those 12 hours.

Hello,

I am a mom of four, and feel very blessed to not have had to difficult a time with any of my kids at bedtime. With that said, I cannot imagine a 20 month old going down at 6:30, and sleeping through the night. My fourth child is 22 months old, and goes to bed between 8-8:30 at night, and sleeps until 7:00-8:00 each morning. I have 3 older kids, so my baby gets a lot of attention, and loves to spend the extra time with his siblings. If I try to put him down any before 8, he knows that is not his clock, and then it takes him a good hour or so to put himself to sleep. I would rather have them go to sleep at a decent time, and be able to guarantee they sleep through the night. Best of luck to this mom.

My little one is 22 months old, and she has an 8pm bedtime. Most of the time she will sleep until 7 or 7:30 or so in the morning. She will occasionally wake up with a little crying, but she'll go back to sleep (we do NOT go in to check on her while she is crying; once the crying stops, then we'll check on her). A bedtime routine helps a lot. Ours starts around 7:45; it consists of cleaning up the toys, brushing the teeth, putting on jammies, reading a story, lights out around 8pm, soft music on, hug and kiss goodnight, she grabs her blankie and bunny, and we tell her it's time for night-night.
Her naps vary with her activities. Some days she will still take 2 naps (one in the AM and the other in the PM) for about 90 minutes each or will take one long 3 hour nap in the afternoon.

Hope that little bit of info helps you out.