Bedtime a Fight with 2 1/2 Yrs.

Hi J.,
Is she still taking a nap? If she is she may not need one anymore. If she isn't, when she gets up do you engage her? If when she gets up you are talking to her and giving her more hugs, drinks, ect. that is what she wants. When she gets up the first time put her back into bed and tell her goodnight again and if she gets up again don't say anything, just put her back in bed and leave. Do that as many times as you need so she stays in bed. The key is not to get mad or frusterated with her. No emotion. My husband had to do this with my now 4 year old. The first night we had to put him to bed 56 times if I remember correctly. The second night is was less and the third night he didn't get up. When you take away all the fun for them they stay in bed. Good luck.
Chris

Sounds like a good routine. What worked for us may surprise you. My now 10yr old used to stay up till ten or later when she was about 2. Someone suggested she may be over tired of all things. We tried putting her to bed around 7pm and it worked. Amazingly enough the earlier bedtime was better for her and she slept all night! If she went to bed at 11 she was up at 8. If she went to bed at 7 or 7:30 she would sleep at least 12 hours.
I like the other ideas listed, too. Just keep putting her back to bed with very little interaction, use a marble jar or some kind of chart with stickers. I heard of someone using passes (a ticket or card) that allowed the child to use the potty or get a drink, but once the pass was used they couldn't get out of bed again (that may have been with an older child). The hardest part is consistency. No matter what you try, it will probably not work the way you want the first time and maybe not the second or third or fourth, but I believe almost anything can work if you stick with it and your kids believe you are serious about it.

I love the routine, keep that part for sure!
M.

You should try some of that nighttime lotion. It has worked wonders for all of my children.

We've gone through this with 3 of our kids. The first one, I went into his room sang to him, patted his back etc., and it took forever to ween him from that, not worth it in my opinion. Our 2nd, just doesn't need as much sleep, but he learned to stay in bed quietly so as to not get in trouble (he actually needed negative consequences to help figure it out). Our 3rd, now 3yo has had the same problem off and on and we found what was best is to ignore her. (She just seems to need a lack of positive consequences) She will only ask for things/need things (ie snack, drink, potty etc.) if she thinks she is going to get then. We just make sure she has had everything she needs before bed and then IF we talk to her at all, it is to say "get back in bed". We don't take her back, tuck her in again or anything (that would be like a reward for her misbehavior). She tries again every now and again, but mostly goes to bed nicely now.

J.,
Have you thought about how long a nap she is taking during the day? I know that we had to shorted our son's afternoon nap to one hour so that he would go to bed before 9:00. The other thing is look at what you are doing in the evening. Is she active or just kind of hanging out with mom and dad. We try to get our son outside or at least running around the basement to get some energy out of him in the evening after dinner so that he is tired. Both have seemed to help him and he is sleeping a lot better. Hope that helps.
J..

Your routine sounds good. A few things that come to mind for me are:

~ Some children need less sleep, and she may be one of them. Even going to bed at 10 would give her 10 hours of sleep if she's up at 8. That may be all her body needs. In that case, you'll need either an earlier wake up time or to resign yourself to a later bedtime.

~ Kids often fight bedtimes because they miss mom or dad and want that extra time at night with them. It may help to put aside some time during the day to "fill her love tank," so to speak.

~ My kids fight sleep too and what works for us is that after the bedtime routine (PB&J- potty, brush, jammies and then 3 books), I have them lie down with their eyes closed and I sing lullabies. If their eyes are closed they fall asleep pretty quickly. If they don't, then I know they're not truly tired and nothing will work. Sometimes I also read poetry to them, too (again with eyes closed). The long, repetitive classics can work like a charm.

With my 3 yr old dd, I put a door knob cover on the inside of her door. If she gets up too many times I tell her I'm going to "lock" the door. I've heard of putting up a half-door with a lock so they can see out. She has cried a little bit, but knows she has to go to bed and gets back in bed herself and falls asleep. Then I open her door once she's asleep so she can get out when she wakes up in the morning. I do a routine of reading before bed and also make sure she has a drink if she's thirsty. She tries to make excuses of being hungry, thirsty, wants more hugs etc. just to get out of bed. But I don't give in much- just once in a while. I also make sure I don't give her juice at dinner time or sugar. Baths seem to calm her down as well- but we don't get around to doing that nightly. Definitely keep talking to a minimum when she gets up. "Go back to bed" is good.

keep doing what you are doing it will work sooner or latter

I just started a "marble" jar for my dd same age. When she goes to bed like a big girl-no coming out and no crying-she gets a "marble" (I use sparkely soft pom pom's, avail in the craft isle in meijer).

We also use it for picking up toys before bed, putting on coat and boots in the morning with out a fight, and going to daycare and going to the teacher and not clinging to me.

For bed time I do to "marbels" one for each requirement, so far she has only earned them for staying in bed, none for not crying...maybe tonight.

Also try a gate, she can see out, but can't get out.
My biggest thing now is "I have to go potty" how do you say no when you are potty training...

Bedtime was the hardest thing for me. Our son would fall asleep in our bed then we would move him to his bed where he would sleep.

My husband said he needed to sleep in his own bed. And for a little over a week it was hard. I literally had to go to another part of the house turn on the TV so I could hear my son cry.

My husband did a routine that worked for my son (2 at the time). PJ's on brush teeth, a drink of water and they he would read him 2 stories one with him sitting on lap and the other in his bed. Then lights off and the door closed. My son would cry for a while but it got shorter and shorter each night.

Now no crying and anyone can put him to bed that way. Hope that helps.

i have always had a bedtime routine every day it was first a long bath with warm water to help them relax then i gave them a long massage with lotion it always help them get so sleepy then when it was time for bed they would get tucked in and i sat there caressing her eyes softly and in 5 minutes they were knocked out by 7;30.and they would sleep all night ive always done that and i have never had problems with my kids going to bed http://www.stayinhomeandlovinit.com/joy2vic2000