Bed Wetting Issues

I have 5 children and my youngest child had this problem. At first I drove myself crazy with it until I bought pull ups for him at night and then I relaxed and stopped hassling him over it. He stopped wetting the bed at 9 years old, so we had many good years. It truly was something he could not help. I'm so glad that I didn't continue to fight it. I regret that I didn't "get it" sooner. I know it's hard, but be patient and continue putting him in pull-ups.

You did get great advice on bedwetting....I thought I had something to add, but cannot top what you have already received. Good Luck!

I left my son in pull ups until they started being dry several days in a row. My friends son was 7 before he was able to sleep through the night without wetting the bed. She kept him in pull ups too.

Hi L.,

From all the advise that I can gather, bedwetting is something that children have to grow out of. It isn't a condition that the child has control over. There are developmental factors and heredity that play roles here. My daughter wets during nap time and over night. So I've sent "pull-ups" to daycare for naptime only. And use "good nites" for over night. I've also put absorption pads between her sheet and mattress pad to catch leaks. For me its easier to wash the sheet and blanket instead of the entire bed.
So I don't know if there is a direct answer to your question. All children are different and he'll grow out of this phase, but I can't give you an exact age that he'll do so. I would use whatever tools that you have at your disposal to make this phase easier on the both of you. And understanding that he can't really control this is a big part of working though this for both of you.

Kind Regards,
TRUDI

I had 2 of my 4 that still wet the bed well into first grade. They are heavier sleepers and just don't wake up. Also, sometimes the bladder control muscles just don't develop as early as most kids. But at 4 yrs, 4 months, I think it's totally normal to still be in Pullups at bedtime. I would just check every morning, and when he gets to the point where he's dry more nights than wet, I'd start trying underwear. We just did away with sheets for awhile and had ours sleep on top of a big towel over the plastic matress liner. Then in the morning all you have to do is take out the towel and replace it. Also, use some older bedding for awhile--you may have to wash his blankets sometimes, too, so that way you won't ruin a nice set by washing it frequently.

If he gets to about 7 or so and is still regularly bedwetting, talk to the pediatrician. There is a pill they can take at bedtime that makes the "gotta go" sensation stronger to wake them up. It also helps with muscle control. My daughter only had to take them for about a month, and no more bedwetting!

Just don't stress too much about it. Your son will have enough stress to deal with in the next few years, with starting school and such. Just let this one run its natural course for awhile.

Hope it helps,
J.

I can say until you are very certain he can hold it and can wake up dry (with pullups) don't put yourself or him in the position of being stressed. Night time potty training takes longer and even though my son was 100% during the day I put pullups on him for two more weeks until we went five days straight with the pullups dry in the morning, then we went to underwear. Some kids take a long time to gain control over their bladder for the whole night.
If he pees the bed, then you need to change the bed if you know about it. I would say kids have little control during their sleep and some take longer then others, night time pullups are the best answer, promise.

My pediatrician said that developmentally, kids don't really have the ability to wake themselves up until age 7. My son is six and every night around 10 we just get him up and take him to the bathroom. Some nights he gets up on his own, but it's usually when he's sleeping light. Try just taking him to the bathroom right before you go to bed, but I'd leave the pullups on at night, it's not like they'll go back to wearing diapers during the day.

Hi L.,

When your ready to try it without pullups, get an extra WATERPROOF matress cover and set of sheets. Put on two sets of sheets with the matress cover inbetween them. That way if he wets the bed, just pull off the top layer and throw it in the laundry room or bathtub until morning and go back to bed! If it's still a problem as he gets older he'll be able to take the sheets off himself and tell you in the morning. Hope this makes your life a bit easier! Hang in there Mom!

Really you need to let him lead you. He is only 4. All kids are different especially when it comes to this. If he is just having accidents at night, he's doing good. I know a gal whose daughter is 11 and has night time accidents. Mind you, she has a medical thing and can't control it, but my point is, you just have to be patient with your kids when it comes to potty training. Pull ups are fine. If there is nothing medically wrong with him, he will eventually wake himself up to go, or do like my son who doesn't go all night, but will pee for 2 minutes straight when he wakes up. Hang in there and buy a few extra sets of sheets.

I think I am the only mom sounding off on a different approach. Does your son seem ready for this next step? I would make sure with your pediatrician to make sure there are no health problems, but if he seems ready and you are ready there are a few things you can try. We would limit drinks after dinnertime. We told our daughter one night that there were no more pull ups and then through the night we would wake our daughter up a few times to sit her on the potty. It was rough but she got it within a couple of weeks and then she could wake herself or make it all night. It will all depend on your little boy though. He and his body will have to be ready. We knew our little girl could do it because she could make it all day ( she would sometimes hold all day until a pull up was put on) and had no issues at naps. Every child is different. If he is not ready then keep with the pull ups for a while longer.

In addition to bedwettingstore.com, there is also bedwetting.com. Both are a great source. If you believe this is a medical issue, consider the urology department at Children's Hospital in Denver. They have a great staff and also offer classes for parents.

Theresa

We have the same issues with our 3 1/2 yr old boy. He was doing great all summer and then suddenly started wetting the bed almost every night. We have stopped letting him have any liquids after 6:00pm, and we put him back in pull-ups which he hated. We made a calendar and he gets a sticker every morning that he wakes up dry and goes to the toilet, and once he went a week with no bed wetting he got to ditch the "diapers". It took about 2 or 3 weeks, but he is back in underwear at night and doing great (it has only been 3 nights). We did a lot of talking about it and telling him that big kids get up to go to the toilet, etc. etc. Never anything punitive or insulting just letting him know that he can get out of bed and go to the bathroom. It worked for us, good luck!

It sounds like he's not really ready for night time training. I'd keep him in pull ups and not make an issue of his accidents but praise him for the nights he stays dry. Good luck. I know exactly how frustrating it can be. My son wasn't completely trained until he was five and a half.

My son is 5 years old and still in night time pullups. They are usually dry in the morning, the only time we have issues is when he is trying to race to the bathroom and doesn't make it in time. I'd rather not be scrubbing the bathroom floors in the middle of the night.
My brother also had problems with bed wetting until he was about 10 years old. It was a very embarrasing thing for him and he would've loves to have been able to have some kind of Goodnight pullups for older kids. Especailly if you're at someone else's house.
In my opinion, I think pullups are great for kids until they cn control their bladder better. Good luck.

I know that this is easier said than done, but relax and go with the flow. My daughter is just a few short months away from being 8 and she still needs pullups at night. She is slowly weaning herself off of them but it is more of a developmental stage within her body than something she is doing on her own. You child is only four. His bladder(especially with boys) develops slower and he seriously cant controll it. Also, keep in mind that how you react will affect his self esteem. You know your child better than any one of us, so if you feel he is ready, then start a reward system for him, which is what my sister does with her son and he is almost 11.

If we're talking about a boy here, and he's only 4, I wouldn't push him too much. Boys take longer and pushing when he is not physically ready will just lead to frustration on all fronts. Just keep investing in pullups (to save your sanity and laundry). If in a year or two he still is wetting at night, I would check into the Malem alarm from the bedwedwettingstore.com. We had great luck with that with our 7 year old. Best of luck to you.

I definitely would keep the pull-ups on at night -- no reason to wet the bed when he's not "ready" at night.

Next, I would contact Children's Hospital. They have a special program for this problem. Your son might be on the far end of "normal", or he might have a problem that requires professional attention.

In the interim, I'd avoid discussing the pee issue at all, with him, or around him, so that he can be less tense. And examine whether there are any major stresses in his life, such as divorce, parental tension, illness, death, bankruptcy. It's possible that he's reacting to the stress. Good luck to you!

Some kids are just not ready to go all night with out wetting the bed, it could be he has a small bladder, or he is such a sound sleeper he can't feel his bodies cues. I think you can put him back in pull-up's or good night at night or you can keep changing the sheet's it really is up to you but no one answer is wrong.

Hi L.. Just wanted you to know we just went through the same thing. My 4 year old girl has been potty trained during the day since she turned 3. She has had very few accidents ever. That said she always woke up in the morning soaked so I kept her in pull-ups. We tried a few times to go without but I always ended up changing sheets and she would get a bad night sleep....not worth it. I waited until she felt ready and then told her she had to have dry pull ups for 3 nights straight before we gave it a shot. She has been going without pull ups for 3 weeks now with only one accident. I do sometimes wake her before I go to bed if she does not pee before her bedtime but that is all that I do extra....she is 4 years and 4 months right now. Be patient....it will happen.

T.

My son is 4 and almost 4 months. I don't see us ready to nighttime potty train anytime soon. His body is not ready and even though we take him to the bathroom before we go to bed, often his pull up is wet in the morning. Plus he is barely awake, he sleeps very soundly. From everything i've heard, boys may not be ready to be dry at night for a couple more years.

I am certainly not an expert and struggling with what to do myself but it doesn't seem like hte logic we used for daytime will work (just let them wet the bed -- my son is asleep and I am not even sure a wet bed would wake him up).

Good luck .. I'd save the headache if his pullups are more often wet than not. It's not an age thing, in my opinion

Heck, I have a daughter who is 9 1/2 and we have her wear GoodNights at bedtime because she can't stay dry either. But I've slowly been doing some research that says that bedwetting is a sleep disorder. So you might want to talk with the Dr. -- which I need to do, now that I'm talking about it.

Also stay with the pullups -- for your sanity!! That's what I've decided to do. I have five kids and they all sleep in the same room -- okay not really but my 3 girls sleep in room and my 2 boys sleep in the other -- so changing sheets in the middle of the night are to risky ( I DON'T WANT OTHERS WAKING UP TOO!)

Good Luck with it, If you find any good helps let me know.

Hey L.,

A few thoughts:

1. You didn't mention how long it's been since your son has been wearing underwear to bed- he may just need more time in them to feel when he has wet himself. My son is 4 1/2 and probably had accidents at night ten times over several months before he stayed dry. He went from diapers to underwear at night.

2. If you feel it's taking longer than other kids you know to stay dry, call his pediatrician and talk it over. My older brother wet the bed until he was eight. I've heard it's not uncommon for some kids' neurological wiring to develop to allow them to stay dry through the night until 6,,7,8 yrs old.

3. Could it be regression? When young kids are under emotional stress (new sib, moving, divorce, etc.) they can regress in different developmental areas. If you don't think stress is a factor, try not to create stress by making a big deal of it. Though having to change sheets and a soaking, whiny child in the wee hours does take a toll!

4. Instead of one mattress cover and sheet try two: mattress cover, sheet, another mattress cover, another sheet. That way, when you pull the top sheet and mattress cover off, you'll have dry ones underneath.

5. I switched from a plastic to a padded mattress pad because the plastic was cold in the winter and I didn't want to contribute to any accidents!

Good luck!

D.

Honestly, I'd wait. Let your son lead on this one. He'll tell you when he's ready.

Then you can have a conversation with him about it. Tell him if he can go, say, 7 nights (or whatever you guys agree on), with a dry pull-up, he can go without.

We're going through this with our 4.5 yr old right now. I'm not worried about it. He'll figure it out. They always do.

Blessings,

M.

Some children will have bed wetting troubles for many years, the best things you can do are: 1. get him medically evaluated for any underlying causes 2. Make sure he is getting enough sleep, exhausted children are more prone to wet the bed 3. Do not shame him or make him feel embarrassed or guilty about it 4. Keep using pull ups as long as he needs it, and try waking him to go to the bathroom before you go to bed at night.
I wet the bed for most of my childhood, partly due to the fact that I had recurrent UTI's that eventually turned into a serious kidney infection, but my parents got me great medical care and did all they could to help me. Unfortunatly when I was growing up the prevailing attitude seemed to be that you should shame a child and make them feel like it is their fault if they wet the bed, they did not even make pull ups to fit children older than toddlers so it was really hard. Good luck and make sure your son knows that he is loved and you are proud of him!

I found some good info and resources at www.bedwettingstore.com. There are some books out there such as "Seven Steps to Nighttime Dryness" than are useful and offer accurate perspective on what to expect. Age 4 seems a bit young for an alarm, but we used one with my six-year-old and had success. You can get some tuck-in sheet protectors that will make cleaning up easier and faster, so you don't have to strip the whole bed--they saved my sanity.
Good luck!

I use cloth diapers, so my 3 1/2 y/o daughter still wears those at night. That being said, I don't think wetting the bed is a potty training issue. Some kids just have a hard time staying dry at night. Sometimes they sleep too soundly or their bladders are too small. I say leave him in the pull-ups for his own comfort and your convienence. Also you could google waterproof bedwetting pants to find some reusable ones since pull ups are so expensive.