Beach Home Shared with Four Families

I think that each family is going to have to sit down at the beginning of the week, the first day and discuss this in depth. I would not be able to afford to eat out very much but would be totally jealous of those that could. I think that planning on eating several meals together, breakfast always seems to be the one everyone is there for. Then maybe a couple of dinners. Then everyone should be able to do their own thing the other meals and if they want to split some groceries then by all means let them.

We have vacationed with several families- we would plan out the week- what nights to eat out ( everyone together-each family pays their own bill). One night eat out- everyone picks their own place. One night, parents out alone and kids stay home with the group. The other four nights we would eat home and each family would be in charge of planning , cooking and serving and paying for the meal and cleaning up the kitchen. Since we were sharing kitchen, we made a list of common items and split costs. This covered breakfast and lunch (mostly sandwiches). Last night we would have a plan to have a smorgasbord to eat up all the extra stuff! Schedule some group activities, but schedule just some family time too! Have fun!

We do shared beach meals one of two ways -

Option 1 - We agree which meals we'll eat out - say Saturday, the day we get there and also Thursday at the farmer's market where they have great take out BBQ. The remaining meals are divided among the couples - Bob and Betty Monday, Dave and Donna Tuesday, etc. All grocery bills divided equally (per family per person up to you). Breakfast and lunch to each his own since in our groups we have older kids who get up at different times - either stock the house and split the bill or buy own and label. Sometimes we'll pick one morning for a big group brunch and everyone makes something.

Option 2 - Again, agree which nights eating out, assign remaining nights to each couple (we usually also discuss menus to make sure we cover preferences and allergies - also we have good cooks in our group and we sometimes have requests for someone's specialty). Then each couple does shopping and pays for ingredients for their meals. Breakfast and lunch as above.

Key to having a good time - don't stress - somehow it will come together and if finances allow, don't try to make everything come out perfectly even - let go of: we made steak and they did chicken!! - it will be close enough. Other key - spend as much time sitting on beach soaking up sun :-)

I hate to sound like a downer, but I would probably be miserable on that vacation. Just reading your post has me confused: If you are planning to cook at home, but you always prefer to eat out on vacations, but your daughter might want some of what they are having... which is it? Are you going to be eating out for meals or not? And if you are, how is that going to work...you're going to go off with your family and leave your friends to eat at home? Looks like a way to create a lot of hurt feelings to me...
4 families (with kids) is a lot of different directions/appetites/budgets/tastes to try to incorporate into one plan.

The only thing I could suggest is to maybe have all the ladies make a list of every single item they think will need to be brought/purchased for food/grocery items and then mark any that are "duplicates". Then purchase the duplicated items on one ticket and share costs. The rest everyone purchase independently. ?
I wish you luck.

Let everyone buy their own groceries and label things with post-its or with a permanent marker. We've done this kind of trip before, but we did a "massive grocery list" with pre-planned meals and split the grocery bill (which frankly was really easy). In this case, it's clear that won't happen so do what we all did in college- buy your own stuff, label it and ask if you need to use someone else's milk.

As for eating-out, I would also suggest that you (as a group) decide ahead of time what the expectations are for meals. Breakfast is pretty clear, lunches would be sandwiches and chips at the house, but dinner could get tricky. When we went, each couple got to have one "childless meal" during which the kiddos were watched by the others. It was nice to have one nice dinner or lunch "out" without worrying about the children's menu. We also did one night of "ordering in" and cooked together/ate together the other nights.

If you have these conversations upfront you'll be much less likley to get frustrated mid-week!

I'm a veteran group house vacationer here. We make is so each family does a portion of the meals. For us it winds up being one breakfast and one dinner. Everyone pitch in for sandwhich lunch ingredients (and use dinner leftovers for lunch too). Each family shops for, pays for, and carts in the food for the meals they prepare. Solved!
No joke though, cooking in will eat up a lot of your relaxation time. Perhaps for your dinner you take the group out? We decided next time we will order pizza in for our family dinner (just too much work to cook for large groups when your kids are small). Also, if each couple prepares and cleans up for a few meals, dad has to help with prep and clean up too, not just women stuck with kitchen duty.

FYI I have also done it the other way. Meal plan for the whole week, group shopping trip, slit the bill equally. But a disproportionate amount of work will fall on a few organized individulas to come up with the ingrediants list and make sure the quantites work. Then the women end up in the kitchen the whole time. I strongly recommend each family take charge of a few meals (and keep lunches as simple as possible)
This way if families what to simplify the meal and make spagetti, they can. If another wants to splurge on steaks they can. If another wants to do all shopping ahead of time they can. If another wants to shop when they get to town to free up space in the car they can. If another wants to order pizza in for everyone because they don't want to spend thier vacation cooking they can. Win Win Win.

Hi bc-

Maybe have each family have one night when 'they' are in charge of the menu? Then eat out the other night(s) either 'dutch' as a group...or separate family outings?

We used to do beach week...I would cook and freeze dinners...ex lasagna...a HUGE ham...a full turkey...That way I did not have to 'cook' per se...and waste beach time...

I brought cereal/bread PB&J etc so as little time wasted shopping as possible...

We had such a big crew of our own...we rarely shared the house...but other friends were nearby...and came to eat with us...

Whatever you do...have fun...and don't sweat the small stuff!!

Michele/cat

I agree with Susan B. We thought we had everyone agree to a big shopping trip and split the bill. Then when we got there one family says that they brought 5 doz. eggs in a cooler and THAT was their contribution for the week. Which would have been fine if that is was had been agreed to BEFORE we arrived and made meal plans.

I think it works better when each family rotates a meal to be in charge of. Although for some it may be easier to do a full day, then the rest of the time they are 'free'.
Choices.

M Tu W Th F
Fam1 Fam2 Fam3 Fam4 Fam1

Rotate. Make a calendar.
M Tu W Th F
B=1 B=4 B=2 B=1 B=4
L=2 L=1 L=3 L=2 L=1
D=3 D=Out D=4 D=3 D=Out

Make a list of shared stuff like milk, juice, butter, paper towels, tp, etc. that people didn't bring with them. The base items are split by everyone. Specialty items are family specific.

I think its also important to discuss when you are eating out and where. This helps in budgeting and being caught off guard when YOU budget a night out at Outback or Red Lobster and another family member gets everyone to vote for a higher priced location.. (we were outvoted, ended up at a place where the surf & turf was $35 which most everyone ordered, then one girlfriend tells my inlaws who were paying for 4 people that she and I would get the bill without asking me! So my portion went from being @ $50 to being $120.)

I am stressed just from reading your email!!! When you vacation with a group it is important to figure all this out beforehand so that there aren't any big issues when you are actually there. With all those kids, I would say that you should all buy snacks/drinks/breakfast/lunch items together. As for dinners, if you plan on going out, you should. Then it's up to the others to figure out if they are going to share dinners or whatever. It's silly to have the 3 other families make completely different dinners... I don't think you should contribute for dinner if you aren't going to be there.
And no you don't have to do everything together, but keep in mind that if there are kid activities you do and not all kids get to go, there will be crying!

I've gone on several weekend cabin getaways with women friends. What has worked for us is for each of us to choose a meal, and provide for everyone for that meal. We all help the cook, as needed, but the one person is responsible for planning, bringing supplies, and putting the meal on the table. Then you would get about 3 meals "off" while someone else is in charge.

One of the women in my group is super organized and puts an Excel spreadsheet together listing all the meals that need to be covered, along with drinks/snacks, and then posts it on Google and we all go fill in what we want to contribute.

I remember one other camping trip with several families, where two of the women took charge of the menus and did the shopping and then we chipped in our share of money. I was not pleased with this, as they bought WAY too much food, we didn't eat as much as the other families, and so I felt we paid more than our share and more than necessary for food for the trip.

Try to keep things as simple as possible. Does everyone really need three full meals every day? Or is it fine to have sandwich makings handy for a quick lunch, or simple breakfast foods that don't require cooking. Maybe plan just a few meals as group meals, and the rest are do as you please.

I don't like to shop in a big group. I always spend more because other parents feed their children differently. Some like bottled water/ drinks, I like to have a water bottle and just refill it from a pitcher. It cost more to buy the bottled drinks. What my friends and I do is everyone makes their own breakfast/ lunch, then for dinner each family takes a different night and cooks for everyone. Everyone knows that the kids will share snacks, so all of use will bring a little extra so they can all share.

Are they worried about others eating what they buy? To me I just buy a lots to share with everyone, but I do have a few items that daughter really likes sepearte stashed in our room so others do not eat it all.

Maybe tell everyone their on their own for food and maybe suggest the below.

If each family is buying seperatly if possible each family can get a section/shelf/cuboard for their food. Could keep persiable food in room with each person, lable things in fridge/freezer if it is a specail item (or costly).

Make sure everyone is on the same page, like buy our own food and on own for meals.

I think the only way for it to work is for everyone to do as they wish. You don't need to stick with each other all the time, or do all the same things. This includes how you prefer to do meals when you go on vacation. Just say "We prefer to eat out on vacation, but we're happy to chip in for some snacks/basics". It's best to make everything clear now, rather than deal with awkwardness on your vacation.

I have to admit, I am a bit leery of doing this, because the last thing I want to do is be stuck doing what someone else wants to do when all I want is a relaxing vacation.