Bday Party RSVPS

People don't rsvp anymore it drives me nuts but people are so busy I would call them two days before the party to see if they are coming. I'm going to be doing this for my sons party in a couple of weeks.

hardly anyone actually lets you know they are coming or that is what I have found out. I always provide enough food and gift bags for each person invited. I have had parties where they all show up without knowing and other parties where a few show up. You just never know so better to plan for all than not have enough.

I don't buy a lot of trinket stuff for the goody bags. I also don't buy big bags, the snack size baggies work well. I put candy like Reese's and other mini candy bar type stuff in their goody bags. I write the names of the kids on the bags so when they lay them somewhere they know which one is theirs. For the pinata I put the cheaper type candy like bubble gum and tootsie rolls, you want to pick candy that won't break when it gets hit, suckers and hard candy don't do well and use a plastic bat to hit it with. Real baseball bats or wooden sticks always worry me if someone accidently gets hit. A plastic bat will still hurt but not as bad as the heavy bats or sticks. I also don't blindfold for the pinata, It is more fun to have someone on the end of the rope pulling it higher and lower as they try to hit it. As for the cake I buy 1/4 sheet with the theme of the party and make cupcakes. That is cheaper than buying a bigger cake and watching most of the cake get thrown away because kids will eat cupcakes better than cake. I haven't figured that out but have seen it happen so many times. Sometimes I just make all cupcakes and buy stickers to go with the theme, put the stickers on a toothpick and stick them in the cupcakes. They usually stick their stickers on their snack size goody bag which I usually hand out around cake time. We usually do cake and presents at the end of the party. That way the new toys don't get lost pieces or broken from the guests that want to play with them. It also gives them time to settle down before the parents come to pick them up.

Lots of people don't respond in any way and either show up or don't; no way to know. And then plenty of parents keep meaning to get around to rsvp'ing but don't get around to it until 24 hours before the party but these procrastinators always seem to say they plan on coming.

And now onto the delivery via school. My 3rd grader has a hard enough time getting himself to and from school. Homework, library books, permission slips, birthday invites...That is hit or miss. So if any of the kids didn't bring it home right away and then spring break hits...Well their parents haven't even seen the invite yet.

Short answer...It is gonna take a direct call or e-mail saying something like, "Just checking in to see if Suzie can come to Annie's party. We'd sure love to have her."

Good luck. The consensus between my friends and I is that school friends are inconsistent about RSVPs. Personally, I will not bring my child to a party unless I have called to talk to or leave a message for a parent. My sister always puts "RSVP, regrets only" on her invitations, so maybe that might help for next year?

Ask the school if there is a student directory. Often you can find numbers for the kids parents there. Or email, or some contact info. If not, you could maybe make little reminder cards for the 6 girls explaining that you really do need to know if they're coming or not. Also, it's possible that the parents haven't seen the cards. They could be stuck at the bottom of the girl's backpacks or on their desks at home where the parents haven't noticed them. Your best bet is the school directory. If there isn't a formal directory, you might talk to the school office. They definitely would have contact info and would likely be willing to give it to you if you explain why you need it.

Did you put a deadline on it? That is key.

If no response, then assume non-attendance. If someone shows up who did not RSVP... then say nicely but surprised "oh I must have missed your RSVP or did not get it..." :)

Or tell the Teacher, and perhaps she can get in touch with the parents. Or, give her a small note, for each child, with a reminder to RSVP.

All the best,
Susan

Isn't it annoying when people do not RSVP?! Sooo frustrating! Can you get a class list from the teacher so you can call or email the parents? Seems kind of strange that not even one of the kids has RSVP'd. My daughter's last party I ended up sending a reminder email to those who had not RSVP'd yet.

I would email the teacher and ask her if she indeed sent them out. Then ask the teacher to give you a contact sheet with the parents phone numbers. My child's school has a directory. If yours doesn't then maybe the teacher can help you.

Sometimes things get put in backpacks and the parents never see them. I would think at least one parent of the 6 would have RSVP'ed. So it's making me think that the teacher forgot to hand them out.

My experience is that they are probably not coming. Especially is there is a break from school involved.

posting after your response: in our school district, it is actually listed in the policy handbook that no invites are to be given to the teachers for distribution. We are encouraged to request a list of addresses/phone #s from the teacher, the teacher then sends a request to the other parents asking permission to release their personal info, & then it's up to us to do the actual inviting.

All the kids in the class know is that the teacher is sending home a note for the parents....so none of the other children feel left out of the party. While this process is lengthy, it does aid in better communication between the parents.

I feel your pain!! People apparently feel like an RSVP is not necessary. I got 10 yes responses for my son's 6th b-day party & 14 kids showed up. I got only one no and 23 kids were invited. For my daughter's 8th slumber party we invited 6 girls, I got 5 yes calls; 3 the day before and 2 the day of, and the girl that didn't come didn't call. So while I will say most of the time not getting a call is a no, its not a hard and fast rule - some people just have more manners than others. Hold out till the last day and plan for some to show - call or not. Good Luck!!

Since you handed the invitations out before spring break many may have forgotten and/or misplaced the invitations with vacations going on. I would print out a little reminder note and have the teacher hand them out again.

Good luck,
K.

I just wanted to add - you got great responses, but I do know of one experience with writing "RSVP Regrets Only" on the invite. One of my daughters classmates invited the whole class, 21 kids, and the invite said regrets only. The mom said she got a couple of calls saying their children would not make it. So she planned on about 20 kids being at the party. Day of the party - only 2 kids showed up - my daughter and one other kid. I felt so bad for her! She had tons of food and party favors. I would just rely on if folks don't call to RSVP, they do not plan on attending. It doesn't hurt to call the people you haven't heard from and follow up, some people misplace the invitation or are too disorganized to call or whatever. Good luck!

People these days are rude and inconsiderate for not RSVP'ing. People don't have the social manners they should. Get used to it when it comes to kids and birthday parties. I had my childs birthday party a few weeks ago, had 1 RSVP, but had about 6 show up. So plan for anything.

Not responding to RSVP's is one of my pet peeves..
It is boorish for people to ignore the request and then show up... Or to assume they are exempt because they are so special...

Just call them.. Tell them since you had not heard from them you were worried they never received the invite.

In the future use evites, people will respond to them for some reason...