Bar Mitzvah - Eureka,CA

I hated studying for my bat mitzvah........i hated the cantor who was the tutor, i hated everything. but my family pushed and make me study and i did......my son is almost 14. he has ADD and it is hard for him to keep focus. He did not feel ready for the bar mitzvah last year. he went to camp and they had a small ceremony for him and a another kid. Bar Mitzvah isnt about the party and big service, it is about the coming of age to study torah. at least that is what the rabbi told me when i asked him about postponing my sons. maybe he doesnt feel ready. Good luck

If my husband could do it (albeit over 20 years ago) your son can do it! Let's just say he wasn't the best student growing up.

Just remind him of all of the time he has invested for this important day. I agree with a tutor, or a classmate that has recently has had his/her Bar/Bat Mitzvah to let him know the accomplishment that he will feel.

Mazel Tov, indeed.

(side note - went to college in Arcata - you live in a beautiful area!)

Hi V.,

first of all... mazal tov!

My son is only 3 1/2, but here is what I would do (and from I remember of that period in my life :))

1. can you find a tutor/rabbi that can make the process perhaps inspiring and more fun.

2. can you have a few short sessions a week instead of one long session on sundays, for example.

3. can you have your son study with a good friend?

4. can you share about his giving a speech at some point. his giving his interpretation of his torah portion -- he can put his thoughts out there. in a way that he is proud of it....

5. Lastly, i would also ask the rabbi or the rabbi's wife for suggestions. i am sure they have experienced this before.

i hope this helps a bit.

jilly

I remember grumbling about it when I was a kid too, but I'm so glad my parents pushed me to do it. I remember being motivated by not wanting to be humiliated by not knowing what I was doing when my friends and family came to celebrate. That was my primary motivation at the time. Now, I'm so grateful that I had that training. I'm now teaching everything I learned to my children, and it's so fun to see their excitement about torah (they are still little, so we'll see how long it lasts). Learning torah is a something that can be rewarding throughout our lives. Though he may not appreciate it now, one day, he will. Good luck and mazel tov!