Babysitter Anxiety

I second the post that mentions using sittercity.com. We used it with great success. We interviewed numerous sitters, some we liked, some we didn't. We found 2 that we loved!! And we've used them for over a year now with no issues or problems.

you could call a local daycare and speak to the director, frequently college students at daycare babysit for children from the center for extra money; perhaps the director could refer you to someone like this. Daycare center workers (at least in NY) must be fingerprinted and screened and you could have references from the director as well as parents from the center.

Hi L.,

I live in Astoria too! I belong to 2 mom groups on meetup.com in Astoria. One of them is Astoria Mom-to-be & New Moms. The other is Astoria Moms. These two groups have been very helpful to me for making friends with other moms in the area and finding activities to do with my daughter. Often people post requests for sitters or recommend sitters they can no longer need. There is also a Yahoo Group for Astoria moms, but I must confess that I do not visit that board too often. I found that most people in the Yahoo Group also belonged to one of the meetup groups.

Another place you can look for a sitter is The Irish Echo. It's a newspaper online and in print where people put in ads for their previous nannies. It's a good place to look for someone that already has one recommendation from a previous employer.

I remember going through the same anxiety when I first got a nanny for my baby. I couldn't believe how I was actually going to be able to leave her alone with a stranger. Believe me, it isn't that bad, and it gets easier. I would recommend that you stay with the sitter a couple times at first, so everyone -- you, sitter, and baby -- feel more comfortable.

Good luck!

Hey L. - congrats, sounds like you're doing a great job being a SAHM and I'm equally happy for you that you can now take some "me" time...or "couple time" to just go to the movies or whatever. I lived in Astoria for a few years before I moved NJ. You have lots of options when it comes to finding a good babysitter for where you are. There are a bunch of sites online that specialize in finding babysitters: http://www.sittercity.com/
is a really well-known one - they do screening, background checks, etc...These guys also look great: http://www.metropolitansitters.com/

Here are some basic guidelines/tips for finding a babysitter in NYC:

Check out the babysitter rate calculator to find out how much you you should pay for a babysitting services in New York City as well as throughout the nation.
http://www.new-york-babysitters.com/rates.html

If you live around Manhattan, Brooklyn, or Queens, check out CollegeQuickJobs.com. It's a great resource to find Columbia, Barnard, and NYU babysitters. You can post a job and view the resumes (and usually a picture) of the students that apply for free.

Check your babysitter's references thouroughly. In big cities like New York, it's important to know exactly who you will be hiring to look after your children.

You'll need to narrow down on the babysitters that apply. Interview your babysitter and ask tough questions!

Talk to your babysitter about your expectations. Make sure they know what to do in an emergency. The babysitter checklist can be a valuable resource.

You never know what can happen while your away. Your babysitter should be familiar with CPR and first aid.

Trust me, it's hard to leave your baby, but it's important for your sanity.

Good luck!!!!!!!!
:-)

I went to the youth group leader at my church and she gave me the names of the 2 best babysitters in the group, who had taken all the classes and stuff. We called the first one, talked to her, saw how she was with the kiddo, and she watches her when we want a date. It worked out pretty good.

Please do NOT go to the looney bin. First of all, my son's just one year older than your daughter and I am also a SAHM who worked my whole life up until our boy arrived April 08. So we're very similar, but 1 year off.

Anyways - You are normal! My first thought was to ask at church about babysitters there. Or go to the library during storytime and meet those other SAHMs there.

I don't know if you have a local library, but at queenslibrary.org it says that they have toddler time "03/10/10 1:30PM | Howard Beach Toddler Time
Lots of stories and fun for children ages 14-36 months with caregivers. We'll all read and color pictures together." Most of the time, it's the same day/time every week. Even if you go and let your daugther sit on your lap and just watch the older kids, you will both be getting some socialization and you can meet other moms and ask about their babysitters and/or find a mom who would want to babysit your daughter.

My final thought is that once you find a babysitter, tell them "I'm nervous my daughter will cry a lot since she doesn't know you. Can you come over this weekend with me here so that she can get used to you?" Pay her to take care of your daughter while you do stuff in another part of the house (finally pluck those eyebrows, do paperwork that you haven't been able to do). This would allow the babysitter and your daughter to acclimate to eachother, but you're still there to keep a close eye/ear on them so that you'll be more comfortable when you and hubby go out. BTW. Your husband is awesome to want to spend some of his hard-earned cash to have some one-on-one time with you. In 2 years of my son's life, I haven't had the joy of that. CHERISH it and have fun!

I haven't checked what other people have answered you so sorry if I'm repeating!
1st you're not crazy! You're a loving concerned Mom!
I moved to my town when my daughter was 2 weeks old. No friends or family here! I went on meetup.com & found a SAHM moms group in my area & joined. It's been 3 years & I have made some great life long friends not only for myself but for my kids. I now have a 5 month old & my group has been a blessing w/ advice, encouragement & help especially when my baby was in the NICU. I also went thru my church & found great leads for babysitters. My town is small (150 in last years graduating class! & it was the biggest EVER!) & found 2 great mother's helpers. A friend uses 2 college students she found @ our community college who are majoring in education. Another friend uses Sittercity.com & loves it. Another friend went to our local police dept & after talking to some of the officers actually hired 2 of their daughters! (Remember we are a SMALL town so that may not work everywhere!) In our SAHM group we also swap babysitting services for other small stuff we may need. For example - my hubby works in another state & doesn't come home once a week. We got 32 inches of snow last week so a friend's hubby shoveled my car & driveway out & in exchange I am watching her kids next Friday into Saturday so they can have their 10 year anniversary night out!
Hope I gave you some ideas! Very important to have not only Mommy time for your eyebrows & your sanity (Happy Wife Happy Life!) But also couple time as well! Good luck!!

My suggestion is that you join your local moms playgroup. See if there is a MOMS club or a MOPS club in your area. (MOPS is actually preschool age, but depending on what clubs are in your area, they may take all ages or be able to point you in the right direction.) Check your newspaper, yahoo groups, meetup.com. I joined our MOMS club when my son was a year old and it has been great. At this age, it is more about mommy interaction, which you desperately need. I had no friends left after my son was born, they are all childless and you need to interract with other moms like yourself.

Once you start going to playdates and such, it is a great place to ask for babysitter referalls. Our group has a message board, and I can go on there and post for just about anything- doctor referals, tree services, etc. I see people all the time asking for help with babysitters. Some moms even do swaps with each other to get free childcare once a month. Joining a moms group will help you get out, make new friends, and it is a valauble resource. Plus once baby is a little older, it will be good for her to socialize with other kids. Mine doesn't get any other kid interaction, and he needs it as much as I need adult interaction. And you are not crazy to not want to leave your child with a stranger. I am lucky to have my mom close. I don't know what I would do without her. But if I didn't have her, I would ask my mommy friends for recommendations, absolutely.

Hi. I would suggest you check with your friends or neighbors or people in your area that you trust that can recommend someone. I would also call your local church, even if you are not a member. Most keep references for baby sitters. Also, you can call your local colleges, again most keep references for sitters. Also, you can call your local red cross because they offer baby sitting classes so maybe they have referrals. Definitely call and check references. I would advise against putting an ad in craig's list. Once you've found someone, I'd have the person sit for you while you are there so your child can get used to her/him and you can see how they interact with your child. Depending on their experience, you might want to try it a second time as well. Good luck, and enjoy your sat. afternoons!

You're NOT looney!!! You are very sane and a good mom. It is difficult to find a babysitter when you don't know anyone who can give a reference. Maybe try an agency that provides "nannies". Perhaps there is someone who does full time babysitting mon-fri and would like to earn a little extra on the weekend. The agency would have the person "bonded" and if they already were placed by that agency there would be references....
Maybe you could find someone through your church....perhaps an older/retired person who has raised kids. If you go to the park you can chat up other moms (or nannies) for ideas. You need to try to make friends with other moms to get info and references--- is there any local "moms" group??
Good luck
It is really tough-- I know I've been there!

sittercity!! It is well worth the money. We move alot and just end up signing up for a month or two. It allows a background check and you can see their resume and call their references. The sitters we have gotten have turned out to be amazing. One of our sitters we consider one of our best friends.

You are not crazy and there are lots of ways to find a realiable sitter. Where do you live? Maybe one of us can help. I have two kids and was far away from family when they were first born, I worked however and had daycare so I used the people who worked there. Now, however I use neighborhood kids and they are great. When I lived away from family, I had a Mom's group that babysat each others kids on occassion but also had a babysitter network to draw from if you needed it. You just need to ask around a little bit. Our local area also offers a babysitting course and I have never checked, but they might give out names of those who have taken it.

hi my name is C. i have a 7 year old i grew up in trumbull i used to work in a daycare now i work as a full time waitress in southport if you check me out and like me i would love to babysit for you on a saturday i know how much we moms need a break itrs just an idea my email is ____@____.com just in case. i just realized you are in newyork and i am in ct sorry good luck

I bet between your friends and their parents and the people your husband works with they all must know someone with babysitting experience. Some of your friends who don't have children yet may like to have the experience of changing a diaper before their own child comes along. As long as you're willing to pay the going rate, someone will be seeking the income. You might also inquire in the office of your church or synagogue or other religious institution. They may know someone who's reliable and trustworthy.

You might also start a baby-sitting co-op with other moms in the neighborhood. You make a schedule and have "tokens" of some sort that you can swap for services, so everyone has the same number of hours available to them and no one pays, but you all must chip in on babysitting.

By the way, if you want to earn some income while you stay home, and get great infant toys for your baby/toddler, please check out www.toysofdiscovery.com for a fun home-based business. I can assure you that you'll find babysitters once you start networking your business, too.

I'm a little late to your request. I think you'll meet some people through your activities, and maybe get some recommendations that way. Also wanted to let you know that I had a similar issue. I stay at home. When I was pregnant with my second, I realized I would need some help for a few months because my husband was going back to school on the weekends, and we don't have any family around. I'm in a moms' group--but all the sitters were taken! I did nervously put an ad on Craigslist, trying to be as specific as possible. Most of the responses were college students looking for part-time. I got a handful of people who were very cheap, but obviously didn't speak much English (which was one of my requirements, stated in the ad.) Then I got a response from a woman who is in her mid-50s. She has a day job 7-3, and works for a child care agency outside of those hours. So she had already been background checked (I ran one anyway just to ease my mind). She had plenty of experience, and was looking for work because the family she had worked regularly for was moving to PA after 8 years. Anyway, long story short I did a phone interview, and knew I wanted her. We met in person just so I could make sure she wasn't weird. I also called her references, which were a few families she'd worked for. So finding a stranger can work--you'll know when you find the right sitter. Good luck!

That is SO normal!!!!!!!!!!! I was having a nervous breakdown at the THOUGHT of having a babysitter-but its great for YOU and great for baby! Not sure if you belong to an online mommy group in your area but its incredibly helpful to start there. Take your time choosing. I agree with so many responses but didn't read them all, so if I am repeating-sorry! You can interview a babysitter for about an hour in your home and see how they are with your child. Check all references-it will put your mind at ease. You can start small-with a small outing-or even be there for part of the time and then gradually have the babysitter there for a longer stretch without you. I hope this helps! Its good for you and your hubby to have time together without the baby-even if the baby is all you talk about!

You could join a Moms club in your area and they would most likely have recomendations for sitters. Also, ask neighbors who they use. There are also sitter services. I think they would check references. I used one called Nannies as needed. They were OK. Good luck. Good for you to have Sat afternoons for yourself. we should all be so lucky. :)

you can try calling the local high school guidance department for suggestions

Hi L.
What a wonderful problem to have! So easy to fix. You thanked God for your wonderful husband, who seems to be trying to help you. Do you go to a church in your area? Ask the nursery person there if they ever baby sit! Ask the mom's there if they have any sitter's that they would recommend for infants. If you attend a small church call one of the larger churches and see who cares for the babies in their nursery. Don't discount teens who love children, not every teen today is responsible but some are. Look for them.
Also ask people all around you. Don't discount your friends either perhaps they would take turns.
When I had the twins, I remember feeling very tired down because I was concerned that if something happened I could just correct a problem. When I mentioned to my dh that I needed to _______ he was more than willing to watch the girls when I did the grocery shopping for instance. I got out and he got time with the girls. It didn't take long til I was missing them all and went home with a new lease on life and groceries too. Did he do what I would have done? No, but as my mother said, he wouldn't let anything happen to them either if he could help it so let him do it. He was a better dad after caring for them, and more understanding too because it wasn't easy watching them.
God bless you and may He give you peace.

My friend used www.care.com and they do background checks with people. You can find a sitter that way. Your anxiety is TOTALLY rational and founded. This is your child and you want to make sure she is taken care of.

Do you belong to the YMCA or anything? They have a program called Mothers Morning Out where you can bring your child (typically during the week from 9-1) and they take care of her, give her lunch ,etc. I think it's only like $15 for a member...but if I'm not mistaken you can do that even as a non-member and it may be like $25. I'd call your local Y and find out. I've used it a couple times so I can go to the doctors, work out, go to the store, or simply grab lunch with a friend.

Post a job listing at a nearby college or high school. Interview and ask for references. If a potential sitter doesn't have at least 2 enthusiastic references or you get a "bad" vibe, keep looking. We've had great luck using sitters from our local college.

We were the first among our friends, as well, and I was home with the baby until she turned 1. She is now in daycare part-time, and I am back to work part-time. It's nervewracking at first, but you'll come to love those 4 hours and it will open the door towards having some time for yourself and your relationship with your husband. It is incredibly stressful and isolating to be home alone with an infant 24/7. You are definitely not the first person to be anxious about this. :)

Hi. You got a million posts I read the 1st 10, and all good advice. I think all the mom avenues are the best. I do not think you should post ANYTHING on Craigs list. Too much bad stuff going on with that siteit's not what it used to be I'm surprised the site is still up. Stick to the mom sites and groups and you will have a relaxing few hours on Saturdays. Have fun.

My pastor has had people (who don't even go to our church) call and ask him for recomendations!

Do that!

You are not crazy but very funny. I must say my child is almost 5 has been in daycare since 4 months but I have never left him with a babysitter like the type you are considering. I am still like you scared and never really needed to as I have i close friend in town- relatives all live in another country However, many people do it and it works out just fine so give it a try and have some fun with hubby. To ease your mind, start with 1 1/2 hr at first or maybe have the sitter come in for an hour when you are there, while you do some house cleaning.

I don't know your neighbourhood but college students are good and if the college has an early education program you could target that group. Older high school students are good too but be careful since your daughter is still young.

Is there a place in town that offers babysitting class/certification for teens? If so you could contact them. This is done by the local hospital and community centers in my town.

Like someone said if you are a part of a church then you can get info there or someone from church.

Try to meet other moms, hey if you go to the playground and see other moms ask them for recommendations. If your local library have story time take your daughter there and I am sure you will see other moms.

Do background checks and follow your instinct.

Your not nuts. So calm down and breath. I would suggest if you are a member of a church that you start there. Talk to the office and see if they have any list of teenagers that sit. another avenue is to check out the local highschool and see if they have a list. some of them do some don't. Do any of your friends have younger siblings that do sitting? Do any of the people you used to work with have daughters that do afternoon babysitting. Contact one of the websites like sitter city you may find someone on there. I myself don't use craigs list as there are some weirdo's on it. but other people say its an ok site. Good luck and yay for getting some time with the hubby. my husband and I used to make a point of having time each week for us. usually in the beginning it was things like grocery shopping errands etc but it was us time and that is important.

churches and synagogues often have sources. Also, maybe join some mom's groups. You can bring your baby and they can share their resources. There are also, online mom's groups too...

I wanted to suggest also that usually babysitters that work at daycares are very good, also because they have LOTS of experience with babies. I would call the daycares around you and start looking at them, to give you an idea how they are and if you could fathom the idea of putting your cutie there one day. When you find one that you like, ask them if their nannies also babysit on a private basis and explain that this could be a good way of getting your baby started on its way to daycare.
And imagine how good it would make you feel if you already know and trust your babysitter one day and would feel at ease to leave her with that person at the daycare.

Good luck!

Hi L.,
I think it's great to use a babysitter for some alone time!
First, be assured that most babysitters are not out to hurt your child! I would contact local churches, synagogues, etc to find out if their youth groups keep a list of reputable sitters.
Also, I think it's time to expand your circle of friends. Find a local playgroup, take your daughter to storytime at the local library, join a Gymboree or similar class. It gives you the exposure to other moms - good for you, socially, and exposes you to their resources - such as referrals to local babysitters. Also, if you add mom friends to your circle, you might do a babysitting exchange. I have two friends whose kids range from preschool to elementary to middle school age, and for about 8 years, they have had a standing arrangement that one weekend evening per month, they each babysit each others' kids for "date night" - free babysitting with a reliable adult!
Good luck!

A few thoughts - do any of your friends have nieces whom they would recommend? Also maybe ask at the pediatrician's office.

You might also check to see if there are any mom's groups in your area (sometimes the hospitals sponsor new moms groups.) If you get to know a few moms, they might have sittesr whom they recommend.

Lastly (and this is how I got my babysitting jobs when I was in high school) - stop by the local high school and just drop in with the guidance counselor's office. Ask whose responsible - they will definitely know the girls who are good students and mature. I got a ton of work when I was 16-18 from guidance counselors who referred me for these types of things.

I was going to do that with my son because we knew no one - but then I lucked out at a b-b-q and was introduced to a sweet 16 year old (now 17) who does our babysitting for our nights out.

Good luck!!!

-M.