Baby Still Won't Sleep...

C.! When you told me about this before I totally didn't think of telling you about a sleep-coaching company in town called Ruby Sky Sleep Coaching. www.rubyskycoaching.com
It is NOT cry-it-out sleep coaching (don't be fooled by the word "coach") It's not free, but I think it's fairly reasonable. Anyway, you can call and get a free 15 minute consultation and see if you think they can help. As I said before, I've soooo been there and, well, I survived, but I was a little crazy in that year and a half. I wouldn't wish it on anyone in the world.

Because of the change of environment making a positive difference, I am wondering whether he's exposed to chemicals in your home that could be affecting him neurologically. Food additives have been shown in large, well-controlled studies to have an adverse effect on children, too.

I have pretty extreme chemical sensitivities, and do not sleep if I've been exposed to anything scented, including cleaners, laundry products, and toiletries that are everywhere (except in my home). There are also chemicals with no noticeable smell that affect both my nervous system and my breathing.

If I go to a meeting, out to dinner, or shopping, I am guaranteed a night, or sometimes up to three nights, of very little sleep. I might get a two or three hour nap, and then I'm just awake, uncomfortable, and sometimes jumpy or anxious. I've also been in group testing situations where calm children got tiny amounts of some diluted chemical squirted under their tongue, and within minutes turned into whirling dervishes. I'm pretty sure some of those kids were poor sleepers.

It's not convenient, but fairly easy to test whether this could be a problem. Buy an unscented laundry and dish detergents and hand soap (forego the antibacterial ones), put all your current products in plastic bags in a closed closet, put fresh, unscented bedding on your son's bed, and give it at least two weeks. All household cleaning can be effectively done using nothing more than baking soda, vinegar, and water.

If you find, by the end of two weeks, that your son is sleeping more easily, you might want to push it further. There are many sources of chemicals in the modern home, from glues in building materials and carpeting to new plastics to the sizing in unwashed fabrics. You can google key phrases like "healthy home" for many additional suggestions.

And if this helps, you might want to see whether eliminating foods that contain artificial colors and preservatives also helps. These are not kind to many children, and I wonder whether the long-term effects even for children who apparently tolerate them will be acceptable.

Good luck. It's awfully hard to go without enough sleep.

I recommend finding an acupuncturist who works on children. They don't use needles, they use acupressure and it's very effective.

Also one thing that might have helped in Greece was how relaxed mom and dad were. Babies are so sensitive to tension. Do you have a relaxation technique you can employ? It sounds like you are (understandably) stressed, and baby may be channeling it (also stress hormones are found in breastmilk). If you have, or can find, a 10-15 minute yoga or chi-gong or similar stress relief exercise it may help (at the very least it will help you).

Another thing he probably got a lot of in Greece was fresh air. When I spend a lot of time outside I get sleepy, I think there is a relaxation reflex. Can you incorporate a couple of 15 minute walks in with him?

I think the key here is that he went to bed at 10 pm. It sounds like when you put him down at 7 he is taking a long nap. I would change his bed time. (I did a time calculator and at 10pm in Greece its 5 AM here). I remember my baby had problems sleeping about 7-8 months, but now at 12 she sleeps great. The only thing is that she goes to bed between 12:30 and 3 am. She has chosen her schedule, and no matter what I try its not going to change. It was 6 am, so we have made a lot of improvements and I am happy with what we have now. She also sleeps at least 12 hours, so we get mornings to ourselves. You may have to adjust your schedule, but its worth it! And, since you work at home, you can.

For you, I would start by giving him a white noise machine, fan, etc. Making sure he has on a blanket sleeper and his room is not too hot, but not too cold either for when he kicks off the blankets. I would try to put him to bed later and when he wakes up at night, don't breastfeed, but give him a bottle in bed. Then, when he is done you can sneak in and take it away. This won't cause bottle mouth if its for a little bit, eventually, he will not need to feed at night, but I think he is using you as a soothing tool as well. I can't go in the nursery at night, daddy has to, because mommy means playtime and snuggles, not sleeping.

Try this and see what happens. I think sleeping in the same room with mommy and daddy can be distracting for kids, and if we keep our baby with us she doesn't sleep well at all. In her room she does. Invest in a good video monitor if you need to. Summer makes one I love for about $300 at Target. I hope this can help you. It seems that its worth a shot since nothing else it working for you. Good Luck!

It sounds like to me he is having normal waking rythums during the night but having a hard time putting himself back to sleep. When he wakes at night you don't say if he is just fussing or screaming his head off. If he's just fussing this is normal and he is trying to self soothe. Leave him alone and let him try on his own to go back to sleep. But if he's really crying of course go to him and try to comfort him. Right around this age my daughter had the same problem plus I was trying to wean her from night feedings. Many nights I would go in and rock her and comfort her but put her back in bed awake. Not fully awake but drowsy and tell her the same thing "it's bedtime, it's time to go to sleep". Using the same phrase over and over. Does he have something to hold onto during the night? A blanket or stuffed animal? Even though nothing changed while you were in Greece it could have been that he was just totally exhausted and slept better. Traveling really stimulates little kids and they know they are not at home which makes things exciting and in turn will make them tired and maybe sleep better. Look at his sleeping environment. You've covered the temperature but how's the mattress? The crib? Is it noisy when he moves around? Does he have a moblie or some kind of music to help? Maybe his thrashing around is his way of soothing himself? Maybe his bedtime is too early for him? Not all babies need 10-12 hours of sleep at night. Hope something here helps.

I highly recommend learning about infant sleep. That will give you the right direction to help him learn how to sleep and how to put himself back to sleep when he wakes at night.

Dr. Sears Baby Sleep Book, The Baby Whisperer and THe No-Cry Sleep Solution all have invaluable info on baby sleep and how to teach a baby to sleep. They were life-savers for me. I was able to glean valuable info from each to create a sleep plan.

Some breastfed babies can be fab sleepers like my son and others still wake in the night to nurse until they are weaned like my daughter. But you can tell when they need to nurse and when you can help teach them to sleep. Once I taught my son to sleep he would go for 10-13 hours but my daughter was never as good a sleeper as him. And she still isnt. But she is a different kid and they are all different. But you can teach him how to sleep better and that will help you a lot.

You have my complete sympathy. We struggled with sleep issues around this time period with our little guy, too, but nothing like this....

First, you are sleep deprived, and studies show that that literally makes you (temporarily) less intelligent and less able to make good decisions. I say NOT to make you feel bad, but rather to help you realize that in fact you are doing your best, and are a good mom, but because you're sleep deprived, its so much harder to see it (and if you're like me, sleep deprivation makes me really emotional, in a bad way....).

First, has he been checked for ear infections? A friend of mine's baby had recurring ear infections, and the only symptom that was consistent was the sleep problems. The change in ear pressure at night made it very painful....

If he's been checked out and seems to be physically okay, well...

I second reading, but I'll be honest... I tried the Sears book (everything except the Ambi bed (or whatever that special bed that rocks gently if they move), and it helped... a little. I tried some of the other stuff. But finally, I did some reading on Dr. Ferber ("Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems" I believe is the title).

Even if you don't go the CIO method (and this did work for us), it can really help to read about the science of the sleep cycle and mapping sleep behavior, etc.

The only other suggestion I have is to try a) shorten his naps, and then b) put him to bed later.... but of course, those can be hard to do.

Good luck and G-d bless.

sounds like your little one doesn't have much of a nap routine during the day? Might be time for some more consistency in the nap routine to start. Other than that I pretty much agree with the other sleep training posts here... at this age they will do just about anything to be with you more - it is so sweet but so exhausting :)