Yay it's a boy!!! Found out today and am super excited. So i thought really hard about having another baby shower and was almost determined not to since it's the third boy. However, what kind of mother would i be if my boys were to ask me if i had a shower for all of them and can't say yes. Besides it's the celebration of a new life. And i need to admit i need stuff desperately because i thought i was done and got rid of a lot. I'm surrounded by the latin geration - not that this makes a difference but a lot of my american friends are against what i am about to say. This is the new generation and you know what i need to save money. Not only is no. 3 coming in october but i also want to have a party for my boys birthday in september. Here it goes. I plan to rent a room at a nice restaurant. $100-$200 for a downpayment that will be returned. $15.00 per person meal. However, i plan on the girls invited to pay for their meal. Like a big luncheon. I supply the games, the cake, the gifts for the games and lite decorations. My last shower i tried to make as simple as possible to not spend that much. I had to order chairs and tables and pay for the rest and spent over $600.00 doing it. If i only do the above my budget is going to be $300.00 b/c i am going to make my own cake or have my sister in law who decorates really nice do it. I also plan on buying a $25.00 gift card for whoever brings in a pack of diapers gets a raffle and that gets raffled off. Am i asking too much from the guests here???? I mean it's going to be like a luncheon everyone pays their way....
At first when reading everyone's response I was mortified. Geeze what RUDE People!! LOL but like me I laugh it off. And this was a question that I asked to get people outside of the family and friends group opinion. And I'm glad I did. Some of you asked why am I doing this? Well, there are people that are so called "Family" that I can't even count on for my kids to be watched by. It's very sad and very true. My last baby shower that I had was in 2008. The family said don't worry about it all, we will gladly help with everything. By the time the shower came, I had done everything. What kind of family is that?? Since then it's been like that. So I'm sorry to say, I don't plan to entertain people like that. If you show up fine if not does it really matter to me? No. I also found a place to have a lunch. But since it's very inexpensive I'm going to buy everyone's lunch. And hope that maybe my mom who I also can't count on, will chip in. I'm having a shower to celebrate with friends and family. I think I've been to about 10 baby showers in the last two years where it was at a restaurant and I paid for my own lunch. It really didn't matter much to me. But it's different every where you go. And it's not about getting gifts or anything like that, because I already put everyting on layaway that I need. Because I swore I was done having kids and got pregnant while on Birth Control. So I have a few expensive things to get. So I put everyting on layaway and am getting it myself. To me it's more about celebrating the baby. But i wouldn't want to do anything after the baby was born like a "Sprinkle" some of you mentioned. Because that's too much for me. I'm going to be too exhausted to have that. Anyhow, I took some of your responsed by surprise, and was happy to read them because friends may not always be as honest becuase they don't want to hurt your feelings. So thanks again!!! I appreciate it!!!
If I were invited to a "baby shower," I certainly wouldn't expect to have to pay for my own dinner AND provide a gift.
at my baby shower I only had cake and snacks. Do you really need to go so far out? I mean, you could buy plenty of baby stuff with 300 dollars. I wouldnt want to go to a baby shower where I had to pay 15 dollars for lunch. I dont even like to pay 15 dollars for food when I eat out on a special occasion. I dont mean to be harsh, because every baby is special and I dont see a problem with having another baby shower, but I dont see why it has to be such a big, expensive deal.
And do the kids really care if you had baby showers for them? Especially boys.
NOPE! Tacky, tacky, tacky! I don't care what generation you belong to -you don't throw your own showers, you NEVER ask anyone to pay for food at a party you are THROWING FOR YOURSELF!!! And you DO NOT HAVE BABY SHOWERS FOR 3RD BABIES!!! Quite honestly, if you can't get the stuff you need for the baby, why are you having #3? I'm sure that will piss a lot of people off, but showers are to help NEW parents start out -not keep parents who keep having kids but can't afford the supplies in stock.
WHY ARE YOU THROWING THESE SHOWERS FOR YOURSELF?!?! Showers are supposed to be thrown for a first baby by friends or family. If subsequent actual full-on baby showers are given for you -then they need to be given for you. YOU DON'T THROW A PARTY FOR YOURSELF AND ASK PEOPLE TO PAY AND BRING GIFTS!
Why don't you just throw a birthday party for your child in September, and if you want to celebrate the new baby -after he's born ,have a party for his christening (BUT DON'TASK ANYONE TO PAY FOR ANYTHING).
Honestly, I know you'll think my post is mean, but out of all the recent posts by people wanting showers for #3,4, 5,etc., this is the tackiest thing I've heard yet.
And your boys are NEVER going to ask you about your baby showers! If you have photos of all of them and you treat them equally -they will never care about any showers you had when you were pregnant with them. I'm a woman, and I just realized with this post that I have NO idea about my mother's showers for me. I never even thought to ask. If for some reason they do ask, you can tell this one that No, you didn't have a shower for him because IT'S TACKY!
You can rationalize it any way you want ( "what kind of mother would i be if my boys were to ask me if i had a shower for all of them and can't say yes. Besides it's the celebration of a new life. ")but this is one of the craziest things I have ever heard. Yes, you are asking too much and breaching just about every single thing that etiquette and good manners tells us. Guests should not be expected to: pay their way, bring a gift, be told what gift to bring (diapers for the raffle). And it doesn't matter that you want to have a party for your other kids in September.
You would be wise to save that money and put it toward the items you need for the baby and forget about a shower. You'll probably keep your friends by doing it that way. I'd send my regrets for a shower like you are proposing in a heartbeat.
To tell you the truth, I am speechless! Traditionally a shower was to help a new parent get started with all the things a baby requires, and it was thrown by a friend or family member. Nothing huge, just a get-together with a few refreshments thrown in and a couple of silly games to keep everyone from just looking at each other.
If you can afford this big party, why not just spend that money on the baby and forget the party. You are asking people to buy a gift, and help pay for the party. This party isn't for the baby, it's for you!
Don't be too surprised if few people show up. It's not any ruder than what you are doing.
This isn't a shower -- it's a fundraiser!
When you included the raffle, you made it sound like one of the charitable fundraisers held at my restaurant.
You can't even tell your son you had a shower for him -- because this isn't one.
Save your money, not have a shower and purchase your own items. Showers should be for first babies. If you expect your friends to give you gifts just because you are having another baby that is not fair to them. They didn't create the child. If they want to give a gift to help celebrate they will, but it shouldn't be expected. And I think giving your own shower is kind of tacky. Sorry to be so mean, but I think showers should be a special moment for the first child, marriage etc...
Ok, the other ladies already did a really good job of reprimanding you for throwing your own shower, asking guests to pay for their own food, and for having a THIRD shower...so I will not :)
Take the $300 you were planning on using and hit the Kids/Baby section of Craigslist. You'll be able to get most of your necessities there. The rest can be gotten from Once Upon a Child, the St. Vincent de Paul Store, the Goodwill, or the Salvation Army Thrift Store.
If your friends care enough about you to celebrate the birth of your 3rd, you will get cards, phone calls, emails from them, but do not expect to get a large # of gifts for baby #3. Sorry, I was baby #3 and I know my mother did not have a shower for me or for my older sister, just for our big brother.
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i've never heard of this...throwing yourself a shower and making the invited ones pay for their own meal??? glad i'm not invited!!!
Okay..I have to admit that I laughed when I read this, but I will try not to be rude. First of all I have NEVER heard of anyone having a baby shower for themselves. That is something that friends and family do for someone who is having there "first" baby. Baby showers are meant for first time parents. If someone wanted to have another shower for you it should be something small like a "sprinkle" Lol. And I have to say that it is just plain rude to invite someone to your baby shower and expect them to bring a gift and pay for their own meal. I don't think you would have many people show up. Save your money that you were going to spend for this shower and use it for baby things. You should be able to get almost everything you would need for this baby for $300. You could always have a small get together after the baby is born and if your lucky some people might bring gifts. Just save yourself the time and money and skip the shower. Trust me your son will NOT care at all about if he had a baby shower or not so don't use that as your excuse. Oh and congrats on the baby. :)
If you want to have a party have a diaper party with your hubands friends. They all bring a box of diapers, different sizes, and you supply the food and beer at your house. You are not to be there...it's for the guys!
Sprinkles.... this is a nice get together at someones house, not yours. Little food, cake and some very small gifts. Mostly just a friendly get together to celebrate your new baby.
You should never expect your guests to bring a present and PAY for their meal.
COME ON THE JOURNEY!!!!
Hi E.,
This is the first that I ever heard of asking your guest to pay for their meal. Honestly, I wouldn't want to attend a baby shower or a party knowing that I will be paying for my own meal and bring a gift. I understand that every baby is a celebration but baby shower are to help out first time M. and hosted by a friend or a family member. It true that in today generation, more and more people are having more than one shower but they would never expect to pay for their meal. I would suggest that you spend the $300 on tbaby gear/supplies rather than on the baby shower. When the baby is born, I'm sure you will have visitor and they might bring something for the baby. Congratulation on your new bundle of joy.
I have never heard of someone throwing a shower for themselves! A shower is supposed to be for the first pregnancy and help the new parents out. If you choose to have more you are responsible for whatever cost associated with it. I personally would find it rude if someone invited me to a shower expecting a gift AND expect me to pay for my lunch? I wouldn't go. I think you are better off not expecting anything...you might be surprised how many giving people stop by to meet the baby and bring a little something!
I totally agree with the other posters. It's just not the proper thing to do. I mean not only do you want to have a THIRD baby shower, but you're asking your guests to pay for their own meal, plus bring a gift?!?! Sorry in these economic times, everyones struggling with money. That's a lot to ask! If one of my friends did this, I probably wouldn't even go to the shower.
Sorry but thats SAD! You're friends and family should be helping to plan your shower, not you! DUH and you're busy with two boys already???!? Can anybody help with games and decor??
And you should NOT buy a gift card for a raflle! Whomever you invite should JUST bring you diapers and wipes, various sized diapers so yuo don't get all newborns or whatever.
And I don't think it's wrong to have a shower for each child. There are new things that come out for abbaies ALL the time and you always need things like bibs, and onesies etc and socks.
To be cute you can call it a "sprinkle" get it? Like after a shower have a sprinkle! Can you mom or mom in law or any other female relatives help? If I lived closer to FL I would definately help!
As for the diapers, go register for your baby shower at Target or Walmart and scan diapers in different sizes and wipes etc.
Good Luck!!!
Pammy
I was always under the impression that showers were GIVEN to people, not thrown by the person receiving. I have a lot of hispanic/latina friends and have never heard of this.
By all means, if your friends and family think this is appropriate, then that's great.
All I know is that my friends would think it was odd. And they would wonder why they weren't asked or allowed to have a shower for me.
But- That's just my own opinion.
Your generation and nationality are irrelevant. You know what? Everyone needs to save money, what makes you more special than other people? I'm offended just reading your post.
Spend your $300 buying your own diapers. If you do decide to proceed with this ridiculous idea, I'd be surprised if you have any friends left when you are done. Even the ones of your "latin generation".
If it's a luncheon do you expect people to bring gifts cause I don't bring gifts when I go to a luncheon.
Why not invite everyone over after the baby is born to celebrate his life. A true "birth-day party".
I find the whole idea repulsive. Geez, by your standards, I should of had a baby shower for all 9 of my kids.
I would not attend such a shower if invited, and frankly, I'd gossip behind your back about it. I'm not too proud to admit that, lol.
