Baby Blues and Breastfeeding Questions

Hi K.-I can relate about wht you are going through. I also had a similar experience with my second child. I was diagnosed with post pardum depression. I was also breastfeeding, so I was leary about taking anti-depressents. My doctor put me on Lexapro and he said I could continue breastfeeding. I felt so much better in about 2 weeks. The medication did not affect the baby at all. She is now a normal 1 year old. Good Luck!! Let me know how I can help.
A.

First, I'm sorry the birth did not go smoothly. I had a similar experience (emergency c-section) and it actually left me feeling very depressed. I had an awful time breastfeeding and felt so overwhelmed being the "only one" responsible for feedings.

Lots of people have given wonderful advice with regard to pumping, but I want you to know that it's OKAY to give some formula! I felt like a failure for giving into a bottle of formula every now and again, but I think that it saved my life. Literally.

I would also recommend talking to a therapist if your crying persists. Lots of hugs and best of luck!

Hi there-

My little guy was due on the 5th but wasn't born until the 9th. No C section for me but I did go through almost 30 hours of labor including 2 hours of pushing to get him out.

I too am extra weepy at times and for not very good reasons. My husband goes back to work on Monday and that's freaking me out a little also.

I've been instructed to pump for 10 minutes after each feeding during the day to try and get my supply up since my guy is a lazy feeder (likes to fall asleep too quick and then he's up again, hungry). I don't get a ton so we've also been giving him about 2 oz. of formula a day or however much of that he drinks. His weight went down, which is standard for breastfeed babies, but we wanted to get it back up and have him happier so it seems to be working. If you don't mind using formula to suppliment a little you could probably give him a bottle for one feeding and pump during that one to get one round ahead of him. Just an idea.

It sounds like you're more of an expert at this than I am since you're already on number two but I thought I'd write just to say that I'm having similar feelings and you're not alone.

K.,
I can help with the pumping question. I had my daughter about a month ago, the nurses suggested pump about 20 minutes before breastfeeding. The baby can get much more out of you than a pump can. It seems to work for me. So leave a short break between the two, and you should be ok. I hope that helps.
K.

Hi K.,

Sorry that I'm responding to this kind of late, but I just wanted to offer my support. My twin boys were colicky, and, although the birth of my boys was wonderful, those first two months were the most stressful of my life. I also did a lot of crying. Some things that helped me: I brought my stroller inside, put on a lullaby CD, and would rock the babies back and forth to calm them down. If you can, take the baby outside (with your daughter, of course), even if you have to bundle him up and it's only for a few minutes - something about the outdoors really calms them!. When you feel really frustrated and overwhelmed, put your baby in a safe place like his crib and walk away to collect yourself (I'll admit, there were a few times I walked out to the garage to throw things, but it did calm me down so that I could be calm with my babies). And, if you have anyone, family or friend, who can help you out, take full advantage: even if you only get one short break during the week, it can help your state of mind. As far as the pumping, I also had a hard time with it. In the end, I gave up pumping and my husband would feed the boys formula at night to give me a break. At first I felt guilty, but your baby is much better off with some formula and a calm mommy than with a frazzled one struggling to pump milk. I know this is a little lengthy, but I remember how much I wanted advice and support when my boys were newborns. It does get better! Please feel free to write me if you need to vent or have any other questions. Hang in there!

It sounds like you could have a bit of trauma from all that happened. It may be helpful, just for a bit, to go to a counselor or therapist. They are really the only ones that can tell you if it is typical baby blues or something more. But to me it sounds like you went through a lot and could use someone to talk with about everything that happened. Some suggestions in the meantime would be to co-sleep or keep baby in room to nurse so you don't have to fully wake, ask help from family (see if they can help out an extra week), keep your daughter in daycare one more week until you feel a bit better, get out and walk if you can to help relax you, and try to take time for yourself when your hubby gets home from work. You sound like a terrific mom and I am sure things will work out for you!! Remember the adjustment period with baby #1 (how soon we forget)...it is probably similar to that!!

Hi K.,

First...congrats. I am a 1st time of a 7 month old baby girl. I am STILL going through some 'blues' moments. I never felt like harming myself or the baby. Unfortuneately, my husband was the one who received all of my frustrations. I too had a c-section, for pushing for 3 hours and 12 hours of labor. It definitely takes a toll. I didn't experience any of the horrible things you went through. Hang in there. Be glad he's healthy and everything went O.K. I'm not sure where you had your baby, but Prentice at Northwestern supposedly has an excellent after birth counseling department.

As for breastfeeding, I found the more water I drank the more milk I produced. I returned to work after 10 weeks and was able to pump 4 times a day at work. Try freezing your milk 2 oz at a time. You will use more bags, but then you will waste less. I personally like breastfeeding at night. It's the best feeling to awake (you & the baby), when nobody else is, the house is dark and quiet. It's your alone time (which you already have allot of). I miss feeding her at night so much. She doesn't need me anymore.

Good luck and feel better soon.

I feel for you! You have so much on your plate! Please talk to your doctor ASAP! There's nothing wrong with telling them how you are feeling.
I had a C-Section for my third baby( not my first 2)and even though it was scheduled, I was so sad afterwards for months, I cried on and off. I felt like things just didn't go right and it wasn't what I wanted. Even though my baby was healthy, I just couldn't help what if it, and wonder why it couldn't have gone differently. I was so sad over it.
pumping,I normally pump half way between the first and second feeding of the morning ( for us between 7 and 9) you have the most milk in the morning. I save it then freeze it. Fresh breastmilk is good for 8 days in the fridge. I leave it in there for about 6 so I have it if we needed it, and then I freeze it to have it on hand.
When I went from 1 kids to 2 it was so hard. It was such a big change.Do you have any neighborhood girls who are between 9-and 13 that coudl come over a few hours a week as a mother's helper while your home? I do that, I pay them $2 an hour and they just play. It's great because I can actually catch a break, take a nap or sometimes I will just sit and read. Which I never get to do. A break is good. The other thing is if you can get out one or two nights a week.
PLease though, talk to your OB/Gyne. They deal with this stuff all of the time. IT could be some mild baby blues, it could be sadness over the birth being the way it was, almost like post traumatic stress disorder, you went through something VERY stressful and very traumatic. Please take care of yourself.

First off, congrats on your new addition. I am sorry that you had a tough delivery. My firstborn was an if anything could go wrong it did kind of situation. I totally empathize with you. I felt the same way when I had my daughter last August (she was our second as well):) For me the first four weeks were the worst, I'd be boiling hot then freezing cold in a minute flat...I'd start crying out of nowhere. I had horrible insomnia and panic attacks...this baby gave me these issues after she was born, my first gave me issues while I was pregnant. FOur weeks was a turning point...I started to be able to sleep better, and then I'd say by six weeks I felt much better. By two months I think I adjusted physically and mentally to the changes. I think it is just very overwhelming to take care of two children. For myslef I found it almost more overwhelming than bringing home the first baby. Mostly I felt a bit guilty that I wasn't giving my older one the "time" he deserved. Now here we are almost a year later, and I feel like I've done this forever. I hope this helps to know that you are not the only Mom who has felt this way. Also...see if you can have a freind or relative come by so you can take a much deserved nap :)

K.- congratulations on your healthy baby boy!
Sorry to hear about not so great delivery experience. I think you should contact your OB so s/he can refer you to a good counselor.
You may need to get some medication or it may be enough to talk to somebody how you feel. Also Counselor may find you a group of new moms where you can meet with other mommies and have nice grown-up time too :)

Baby-blues or not I think you should seek help. Sending you big hugs!! Hang in there- it will pass!

Northwestern's Prentice Womens Hospital has a great session for new moms (first time or otherwise) that are feeling exactly as you are. They have someone who watches the kids, and you can meet with other moms and talk about what's going on, how you feel, etc. I went and it was a lifesaver. I was crying uncontrollably, panic attacks, breastfeeding was difficult...this New Mom's Support Group was FABULOUS.

And, it's not a series of lectures, just an group meeting, so you can come whenever you can.

Here's a link
http://www.nmh.org/nmh/events/viewevent2.htm?etid=546

Good luck. I will get better. We're all pulling for you!!

Hi
I have a 6yr old and a 1yr old, and you have described what I
felt like both times after the births, more so with my 6 yr old
than my 1 yr old. I had scheduled C-sections both times, however with my son I cried off and on for about a month and then it went away, I never felt like I wanted to hurt myself or baby just would cry at the drop of a hat. With my daughter
who is 1 I only felt like crying whenever my son was around, he just got to me or something and again this lasted about a month. So don't worry and just tell everyone around you that you'll be OK you just need to cry, it will go away I promise !!

I am pregnant with my third, 3yr old and 18 mo old....due to c-section October 2. I understand your pain! I have found that getting the girlfriends together to help you out or family if they are available. Friends are great for complaining to and being there for you. You are not alone, we have all been there! I agree with another poster about getting a good lactation consultant. My girlfriend did that through the LLL, and had much success! Good Luck! And I promise that it gets better! Give it some time.

I can totally relate K.. I just had our third baby (a very healthy little boy thank God) & I went thru that as well. A couple things that have worked for me:
1) get out of the house ASAP. This is a tough one but it helps so much to remember you're a mommy but also a part of God's big ole world. Getting to a "new normal" as quickly as possible really helped me.
2) What we've done for all 3 kids is I've gotten up an hour or so before the midnight/one feeding to pump quickly & get back to bed to let my hubby feed the baby. It's still getting up, but pumping is a lot quicker than giving a full feeding so I get more sleep.
I hope some of that helps. For me I had the baby blues for 2-3 weeks this time & it broke when I started getting more sleep & getting out to do short trips to Target or whatever.
God bless & I hope you get rest soon!!!

K.

I know exactly how you are feeling. I had an emergency c with my first after almost 20 hours of labor. Mine was not as traumatic as yours, but still very hard. To top that off I had two infiltrated IVs so both my arms were swollen. I could barely hold my son for the first week. I felt like such a failure because I couldnt' comfort him when he was crying, my husband had to do everything. I got really depressed, especially because my little one refused to take a bottle until almost 12 weeks. So around the clock I was the only one that could feed him, but if he was upset (and not hungry) my husband was the only one that could comfort him.

What helped me was having a really supportive husband and taking time for me. Everyday my husband gave me an hour to myself and I was able to start running again, go to a cafe and read, or soak in the tub. Its really important that you get some time to take care of you.

As for pumping. What I did was I would pump before my son needed to eat. So if he ate at 4 and was usually doing 2 hours between feedings, I would pump at 5:45 and then my husband would give him the bottle. I pumped both sides, for at least 15 minutes. I have always had an overabundant supply (which brings its own problems) so that always gave me enough to feed and freeze some. I have found www.kellymom.com to be very helpful with breastfeeding and pumping.

Good luck, just remember it will get better everyday as your baby gets older and starts to sleep more.

K.,

Hi! I recently gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, too(he was born May 8th). I also have a wonderful (almost) 2 1/2 year old son. And, I also had a c-section. So, I understand what you are going thru. Give yourself some time for your body to readjust to not being pregnant. You not only gave birth, but you also had major surgery, so try and cut yourself some slack. I give you more credit, tho, cuz you are breastfeeding. I wanted to, and I did while in the hospital, but I couldn't keep up with the demands of breastfeeding. I think you should supplement with formula for a couple of nights while you build up your pumped milk supply and then go back to exclusively breastfeeding. That way you won't be giving your baby the milk your just expressed but your son will still get feed. Good luck to you!

kim

K.--
Congrats! Try to relax the best you can...I agree with the previous post about letting your doctor know your situation and try getting into a counselor, even if it's just temporary.

As far as the feedings- I used to just feed on one side and pump on the other. May have to feed a little more frequently at first, but your milk supply should increase as well...Worked for me anyway...

Good Luck!

K.:

you have been though a lot. it might help to talk to a professional. - two names: dale gody ###-###-#### or zena handlon ###-###-####

as for pumping - it might be easier to tuck you little on in bed with you so that you can sleep while he nurses.

you are welcome to call me to talk about pumping.

P.,RLC, IBCLC
Pres. Lactation Support Group, Inc
www.lactationsupportgroup.com

The way you are feeling can have EVERYTHING to do with your birth experience! It is hard for some women to come to terms with an unplanned c-section, I have been there myself. I would bring it up to your doctor, and possibly look into some c-section support groups online. Take Care of yourself, and Good Luck!

K.-
Of course you are overwhelmed! I was overwhelmed just reading what you posted. You are walking in the same shoes I did 2x! I understand what you are going thru. The best advice I can give you is - 'THIS TO SHALL PASS". You are going thru one of the most difficult times for new moms. The prelabor anxiety, the induction, labor, c-section, now 2 children, breastfeeding, it is very very overwhelming. You sound like you are handling it very well with acknowledging being overwhelmed and asking for help. Help will come. Over the next few weeks as your body heals your spirit will heal also. Crying is very ok. It relieves stress. I cried and cried for several weeks and then one day I realized I hadn't cried in a few days. This was also when I was physically stronger too. Can you have a family member or friend come over even if only for 1 or 2 hours during the day so you can have some "alone bathroom" time or even take a nap? Ask your husband to fix dinner and then after dinner can he take over for at least 1 hour so you can take a shower or go for a walk outside or take a book and go to Starbucks for an hour? Then come home and together do the bedtime routine etc. It is amazing what just that little bit of alone time will do for you. Hope this helps. Hang in there, life will find a new normal and you will feel stronger soon. You are not alone. Many of us have gone thru this and we did survive. Best of luck.

I know its so hard to give the right advice right now because sometimes when you are going through this nothing seems to help. I went through this w/ both of my kids too. I even cried eveytime my husband left and he, like yours, stood home w/ me for a week too. My best advice would be to just truly take it one moment at a time. Try not to think about yesterday or tomorrow. Just parent your baby according to your God given instincts and try not to focus too much on what the "books" say right now. You'll have plenty of time to get your baby on a schedule, etc. Right now, as long as your baby is getting the attention and feedings he needs the only other focus should be YOU. I'm sure your husband understands that you are just going through an undescribable time right now. So, with that-just let the tears keep coming if you have to. Don't hold them in or make excuses for yourself. You know, as well as I do that this time will surely pass but it's just hard to see it now.
About the pumping thing. I'm not too sure myself but I found that I had time to pump after the baby was asleep at night. I was able to pump 2 small bottles (one from each side) which sometimes made for 1 bottle. As your milk comes in more and more then you'll be able to pump more milk obviously. I don't know the medical side to this but you can also have your husband feed formula for one night feeding so that you can get some sleep and not have to worry about pumping so much. Just a thought. I'll be praying for you!

Hi K.,

I'm sorry to hear you've had such troubles lately. I hope things do get better for you.

Although I cannot recommend anyone specifically, try to get in touch with a very sensitive, caring lactation consultant. They should be able to help you with the pumping issue. It sounds like your plate is really full and you seem overwhelmed (trust me, I feel that way too sometimes and I only have one baby to deal with!) and having an expert to assist you with one of your issues could make all the difference in the world.

Best of luck to you! And, don't be afraid to reach out for help - from dad, your parents, his parents, your friends, your doctor, etc. Maintaining your health is just as important as the health of your new baby.

First of all congratulations! For a minute there I thought I had written this post!! What you went through almost exactly mirrored my youngest son's( I have 3) birth. I had a c-section with all 3. The first I got induced and it did not work after 7 weeks bedrest. #2 went into labor after 7 weeks bedrest, at 22 hours I was only dilated to 2 and ultrasound said baby was 10 lbs!!I opted for c-sec and still had to labor for 8 more hours due to other emergency c-sec's!! #3 I decided to just schedule one and had bed rest at home for 4 weeks and in hospital for 9 days before c-sec 2 weeks earlier than I scheduled. My last one was traumatic, too. My pulse went crazy and they had a hard time getting my son out due to his neck being turned in utero. He had to get oxygen right away. His 1 minute apgar was only 3 but luckily his 5 minute was 9 and he pinked up right away. After nothing going the way I planned I felt overwhelmed like I had done something wrong!! Obviously I did not but my body just could not handle it. After the birth of #3 I had a lot of moments of "Oh my god, what did I do? I can't handle this" It really helped to talk to someone who has been there. All of my friends had natural births and I felt I had no one to talk to who understood what I had been through. If you feel you need to talk please do not hesitate to email me. I would be more than happy to be a sounding board. Good Luck!

Hi K.,
I had pp depression with all my kids, but with my last who is my boy and he is 4 now, it was severe. I know what it is like. I have been there. Have you thought about maybe hiring a pp doula to help you at night? You can get one for over nights. They are great. I can find one for you if you are interested. And, there are some that will do it for free for certification. I just thought I would throw that out there.

Also, when pumping, hold something of the baby's that smells like him, or look at a picture. This might help you get more milk. Also, try and eat lots of oatmeal. This will increase your milk supply. If your milk supply is low, you can get Fenugeek or Mothers Milk Tea at a health food store that will help increase it. Good luck. I know that this is hard and you might be having such a hard time because of what you experienced during your birth.

S. Bailey CLD
Aurora
www.tendermomentsdoula.com

call the hotlines--they still help me 6 months out.
Colic was hard--she went thru it for 8 weeks.
Go to Be By Baby, with him--crying or not! They have mommy groups and are all so supportive--more than just a store.
Can get pumping tips from a lactation consultant at your hospital or midwife as well.

K., I'm so sorry that you're feeling so down. Do you have family or friends who can stop by to help you out? I had a c-section too, and even though it was welcome after 27 hours of labor and not progressing beyond a 4, I still dealt with some feelings of having "failed" somehow. That's obviously not true, because my surgery was absolutely necessary, but I still felt that way.

You've really been through a lot, and it would probably help enormously to see a counselor/social worker/therapist. Call your OB for a referral if you don't know a friend who can give you a recommendation. It sounds like you might have post partum depression, and you don't have to have feelings of hurting yourself. If your son is more than 2 weeks old and you're still crying, please please go talk to someone. You don't need to suffer.

Have you considered having your husband give your son a bottle of formula just so you can get a bottle together? It's so hard to get that first bottle set up when they're feeding every 2 hours. If that makes you uncomfortable, have you heard of More Milk Plus by Motherlove? A friend of mine who had supply issues told me about it. It's an herbal supplement that will boost your milk supply. That way you can feed your son from one breast, pump the other one, and gradually build up enough so your husband can help take on some of the feedings. Then pump while he's feeding your son and you'll have another bottle all ready to go for next time. Getting that first bottle put together is the hardest; once you get that, you're all set for just replacing it as your husband takes over feedings. If you Google "More milk plus" you'll find the Motherlove web site. There are a few options. I bought the 2 oz. liquid, and I have to say that the taste is not so pleasant. It's not terrible, but the capsules may be a better bet.

We supplement with formula now that I'm back at work for a few weeks, and Brian loves it. It's like baby crack to him. We use Enfamil Lipil with Iron, for whatever that's worth.

Good luck, and find a way to have some time to yourself every day. Once I felt up to it after my surgery, I took a walk every single day, whether I wanted to or not. It really helped with my state of mind. Take some time away from the kids, even if it's just an hour.

Hi K. - I know exactly what you are going through. It sounds like you might have postpartum depression - I did with both of my girls. You don't have to have feelings of harming them to have PPD. A great resource is 1-866-ENH-MOMS (1866-###-###-####) - it is the postpartum depression hotline for Evanston Hospital - and you don't just have to be a patient to call. The woman who runs the program was a great help to me in the hospital - she came to the room a few times after I delivered and gave me some great resources. You don't have to go through this alone. Also I didn't breastfeed my first but I did my second and I felt like breastfeeding helped me to feel better.

The blues will pass! Looking back on my postpartum depression after each of my three pregnancies, it just seems so odd that such a blessing can turn a mom into a crying mess! It seems almost surreal, too, that I was like that. I just saw my sister go through the same thing. She's such a strong person who lets absolutely nothing bother her at all...but when it was time for me to go back home after helping out, she was a blubbering mess...JUST LIKE I WAS! It really is amazing how hormones work like that. And I guess it's just a mom-thing to feel like it's all on our shoulders...and I don't think that will ever go away! Simply put, the blues will go away...if not by themselves then a doctor visit should help. They see it all, and the blues are no exception! Take care, and know that we're here for you!!! :)