At Wits End with Picky Eaters

I simply have to respond to this post as I have twin boys that are extremely picker eaters themselves. They are now 5 years old and while it's a bit better, it's not great. They were born at 40 weeks and healthy but have always been on the ity-bitty side (3rd percentile). One thing they have always loved is canned pumpkin with a little sugar and cinnamon. Once they are bit older they will be able to eat a much bigger variety; don't worry about it too much now (I know, easier said than done). Good luck and know that there are many of us who have been there (and are still there). My husband said if he sees one more mac-n-cheese noodle he's going to go crazy...

I've heard of people adding butter to their slices of bread to help fatten them up. It isn't the healthiest, but will help them gain. You are very selfless to ask for advice on nutrition. It is a very sensitive issue and is easy to be offended by other moms. Best of Luck!

Well, first of all, let me say I totally feel for you. I know how frustrating it can be to have a picky eater - the worry, the stress, the endless hours of trying to think of what in the world you can give them that they'll eat. Its no laughing matter. I think I have a few more gray hairs after my daughter's last bout of pickiness. My daughter refused to eat anything that wasn't crunchy. That leaves me cherrios, toast and crackers. I think the trick is to get creative. I started putting peanut butter and jelly on saltines (to get SOME protien). If all they'll eat is stuff that is sweet, try some sweet veggies, like sweet potatoes (you can even add a little white grape or apple juice to them to sweeten them up, same with carrots). You could even try some of the apples and chicken variety of baby food. I reverted back to baby food for a little bit, even after my daughter was on purely solids because she couldn't spit them out as easily and purees are much easier to hide things in. You might even want to try the Deceptively Delicious cookbook for ideas on hiding veggie purees into their dishes.

Chances are, this is just a phase, so just try and make the best of it. If all they'll eat is sweet stuff, then try to make what you give them as nutritious as possible - whole grain graham crackers, cereals, breads, etc. You'd be suprised how much protein is actually in whole grains - one piece of whole grain bread has as much protein as a yogurt (4 grams)!!! You might want to even try some freeze dried veggie chips. I've seen them at health food stores as an alternative to potato chips.

Anyway, good luck and hang in there. I spent a few nights in tears with my daughters last eating phase. Thank goodness now she's back on track. And your little guys will be too!!

Hugs!
J.

My son loves to feed himself at 9 months, so I went and bought suction cup bowls that stick to hi tray and toddler spoons. Though he can't actually use the spoon effectively yet, he likes to hold on to it! (I would also suggest buying a couple of cheap, plastic table clothes to spread under their chairs as my son also learned to drop food off his tray at this point too to feed the dog!!!) I put a variety of cereal puffs/crackers/bread/Cherios on his tray along with canned diced peaches (cut up smaller...if he is having trouble picking them up, I heard you can roll them in cruched up cereal to make it easier), banana or avocado or other fruit. Then, in the bowl, I put small soft chunks of chicken/peas/carrots or I have been buying the Gerber graduates pasta wheels with chicken, which he loves since they are easy to grab, or the chicken/turkey with mashed potatoes. Just be ready to throw them into a shower after or give them a good sponge bath, but letting them feed themselves a little more might help...he likes getting the food out of the bowl himself and it's great because the bowl doesn't move on him. It certainly helped my son, who was tired of me feeding him strained baby food! I also give him Yo-Baby yogurt withh cereal/fruit, little chunks of cheese for more calories, or put cream cheese (no peanut butter yet!) and jelly (watch for allergies...I would try raspberry or grape first) on bread for a higher calorie sandwich and rip it up into small bites. It's sweet AND has calories for them AND he LOVES it!!! Anyway, hope this helps.

S., 25, mother of a small 9-month-old who has fallen off the weight charts from being a breastfed baby!!!

L.,

I understand your concern about weight, but here's the thing... not all calories are created equal. If your boys are filling up on refined carbohydrates, they will not be hungry for good food. It is not our responsibility as parents to make kids eat; it is our responsibility to keep good foods available for them when they are hungry. It is not true that it is better for them to eat junk than to eat nothing at all. Rest assured that children will not starve themselves. They probably will go a while without eating, there probably will be tantrums and food thrown while they test their boundaries, but when they figure out that they are not going to get their way and when they get hungry enough, they will eat. Ask any doctor - children will not starve themselves. Catering to their pickiness will only make it worse.

The best thing you can do is figure out what GOOD, nutritious foods your sons like. If they hate green beans, wait a little while before you offer it again. It make take a child up to 17 times being exposed to a food before they are willing to eat it. On the other hand, make sure they have other healthy options if you know they don't like what you are serving. For instance, my 3 year old hates beans. She has since she was a baby. When we eat beans, I still put them on her plate, but I also make sure she has plenty of other food to fill up on, and I don't force her to eat the beans. If you put some good food in front of them and they throw it, then simply take the food away and mealtime is over. If you give in to their cravings for highly processed carbs now, they will only get worse and more picky as they get older.

At this age, your sons are old enough to have soft-cooked meat, and the iron and nutrients will be great for them. My little ones loved, loved, loved shredded chicken or turkey. (Dark meat has more iron in it than white meat.) Any meat that comes out of the crock pot is great. Fruits are good, in moderation. You'll know from their diapers when they get too much! The recommendation to avoid dairy until one year is for milk, not processed dairy products, so cheese, yogurt and cottage cheese are all great. Cottage cheese is an especially nutrient rich food. My daughters wouldn't eat is straight, so we mixed it up with some pureed fruit or yogurt. Beans are also a wonderful food - packed with iron and fiber. My second daughter loves them with just a bit of salt seasoning, or mixed with some pico de gallo style salsa. As your kids get older, a veggie tray before dinner is a great way to get them to eat vegetables. My toddler is so hungry that last half hour while I'm cooking dinner, that she will eat anything!

The most important thing to remember is that it is not your job to make your sons eat; it is your job to provide healthy choices for them to pick from. If you give in now under the desperate assumption that they are going to starve, you will just be feeding their pickiness (no pun intended).

Best of luck,
S.

Hi L.,

couple ideas:

1)Maybe they are teething? And the sweet things are softer?

2) Watch very carefully what they are and are not eating and how they sleep etc.

My son was diagnosed with GERD (silent-no real vomit or spit up) at 9 months. Symptoms included taking Forever to eat, woke up multiple times a night, sour breath, drop from 85 to the 5th percentile in weight and height, etc.
Make sure you ask your dr. whether or not it could be symptoms of GERD (gastric reflux=heart burn). Things that cause heart burn are high fat foods, peaches, plums, cherries, cantalope, tomatoes, diary (for some kids), citrus,berries, any thing acidic or that takes a long time to digest (banannas, the peels of apples, etc.)

I would try to not worry too much about the number of foods they are eating right now. My son would only eat apples and pears in rice cereal until he was almost 12 months. Now he would eat everything if I let him (the reflux makes for necessary restrictions) oh and he is once again over the 50th percentile. I would talk to a pediatric gastroenterologist if you don't figure things out on your own in a couple of months. A week isn't much to worry about, BUT the percentile drop is a concern. Oh my son nor my daughter are overly into sweets now that they are older (4 and 3 years). they both ate a ton of fruit as a baby. Your children will eat what you eat, so if you eat a mix of savory and sweet so will they eventually.

3)Keep offering very small amounts of different foods with every meal. Eventually they will try them enough times that they may start eating them again (usually takes 15 times).

4) Since it has only been a week maybe they have a 'bug?'

Take care,
R.

This seems very strange to me because they are only 9 months old. I recall my last baby barfing up strained liver, but that is the only food he couldn't tolerate. At their age I think you can rule out a conspiracy between the two of them, since their language is probably not developed enough to communicate. What are you feeding them? Are you giving them baby food, or are you grinding your own? Are they into the finger food stage? What do they eat? You mentioned bread and sugary stuff. Maybe you could sneak some fortifying foods into the breads and sweets. For example, milk shakes with eggs, protien powder, etc. All in all, I think a phone call to the doctor might be in order. Perhaps their aversion to food has some medical basis and might also shed some light on why they are under weight

As for adding lots of calories and fats, try cheese and olives. Also, Yobaby yogurt is full fat yogurt. I believe the toddler yogurts, like Gogurts are low fat. Be sure to read the labels.

My niece was tiny, and underweight. Then she got sick and had to go to the hospital. She lost some weight there. She looked awful!
So the doctor told my sister to go to the store and look at the nutrition labels on butter-flavored spreads and pick the one with the highest fat and calories. I was surprised at the difference between them! Some were really (what I would consider) unhealthy, and I bet some people don't even notice. It was some sort of squeeze-on liquid type. So that was my niece's butter, and they put it on everything. On bread, toast, veggies, etc. They managed to fatten her up a little that way.
Now I don't know what you do to prepare their food, and if you meant that they used to eat baby food just fine. There are a few things I've learned from watching my siblings and inlaws feed their kids. One family holds off on table food a lot longer than my kids wanted to. They wanted to eat what the rest of the family was eating, so we switched them, at least partially, to table food when they wanted it. It's much more interesting food! We stuck with some baby food because they just couldn't handle the chewing part of some food (carrots, for example). The other thing is that one family feeds their kids really blah food. The baby eats room-temp rice cereal. He eats enough, but yuck! That's most of what he eats. Their older child gets toast without butter, plain cooked lentils in a bowl, and plain yogurt. No wonder she only eats two bites. ick! They do put sprinkles on things to try to entice her to eat the part with her favorite color, but if they're trying to be healthy, I think it would be healthier to give her strawberry yogurt than plain with sugar sprinkles!
I would mix oatmeal cereal with applesauce and a little cinnamon, or with peaches, and warm it up. It smells like peach cobbler and apple crisp! For veggies, I added some butter (babies need the fat anyway for brain development) and a little salt. In other words, I prepared it how I would want to eat it.
My boys also liked to eat grilled-cheese sandwiches at that age. They were big eaters and would just about finish one by themselves. They also loved whole bananas (no more baby food bananas for them!) and apple slices. Corn and carrots (maybe cook them and serve in chunks) taste sweet, too. And my boys loved sweet potato and squash baby food (with butter) because it's sweet, too. And really, they eat other things now. It's not like I trained them to have a sweet tooth that way.
Sorry, i'm thinking as I type, so sorry it's so long. To sum it up, try giving them table food (if you're not already) that you're eating. And with the other things, try to make it more appealing! And try that super-calorie butter trick to up their calorie intake.
Hope that helps!

Hi L.!

I have (almost!) 9 month old boy/girl twins, and a 4 year old. My son is pretty picky... He seems to want everything pureed, no texture - or he throws up. I have been serving them pureed avocado and banana mixed together, apples and carrots, oatmeal with cinnamon and/or jelly (no sugar), and plain whole milk yogurt with sweet potatoes or pumpkin (I buy it in a can, organic)... I also think that teething plays a role in this, so my advice is just to roll with it, but as you said, don't give in to the carb/sugar thing - you are molding their eating habits starting now!

There's some great ideas here from other people!!! My daughter (now 13) at that age only ate saltine crackers, baby peaches, and cottage cheese... NOTHING ELSE (except I nursed her still). The yoghurt based baby foods were the next thing she would eat once in a while. Are YOU worried? Look at how they're developing, checking bowel movements and urination. If they're normal, then keep on keepin' on! Don't stress too much if they're healthy. They will sense your stress and food will not be a fun/peaceful thing for them. I know doctors that suppliment with "ensure" drinks, but I am unsure where they are still under a year old. Your answers will come.

Enjoy what moments of peace you get with twin babies! Good luck.

are they still on formula? They should be. My kids liked avocados at that age. If they're teething, they'll only want soft food.

Hi L.,
My daughter has had similar weight issues. She is now a year old, and we are still trying to get her to put on weight. Our doctor has suggested boosting her calories by adding butter or formula powder to her foods. This has been working. She especially likes yogurt, and I can mix a scoop or two of formula powder into that, which doubles the calories.
I don't have a lot of advice on the picky part, other than to suggest that my daughter seems to love sweet potatoes with a big chunk of butter mixed in to boost calories(I know this seems so contrary to what we women would ever want to do, but our doctor said that at this age, it really doesn't matter to give her the butter).
Good luck,
S.

Try sweet potatoes. Try using formula mixed in with their cereal too as it is more calories. Start trying #3 foods, they have more flavor. The Chicken and rice was a big hit here with my kids. You are right not to just load them up with sweets. Cheerios should be fine however. If you nip them being picky and exposing them to flavor now you will prevent it from being such a battle in toddlerhood.
Most baby foods are disgusting. Try giving them scrambled eggs with cheese, real oatmeal that has some flavor, yogurt, cut up in very small bits cheese pizza. If you start giving them tiny bites of what the family eats that may help too.
Even try making your own baby foods. Steam green beans with some flavor added in the water (life from bacon bits or something) and let them knaw on a whole green beans. My son USED TO LOVE THAT. Gerber graduates has tiny cut up and soft cubes of carrots and even green beans where they are more flavor. They have them in apples and pears too. Try even mixing something gross with applesauce so at least they are eating something nutritious.
Hang in there. Just keep offering it over and over, eventually it will sink in. Always make sure they are hungry, feed them the bottle/nursing after you feed them so solids so they aren't full and want food.
And if they are smaller and healhty I wouldn't worry too much. That is common in twins. My daughter who wasn't a twin was always small for her age, still is at 7 and is very healthy! :)

It sounds like your children may have food sensitivities. It may be a reason they are smaller and refuse food. I have two suggestions which have helped me a lot. I found two books called "How to Cook for Your Blood Type" and "How to Eat for your blood type". In them there is a very interesting premise which states that some foods are better than others for certain blood types. Since then, I have been much more able to understand that the refusal of food by my picky eaters, is not due to naughtiness, but due to foods making them feel sick. Adjusting my menus to try out this new idea empowered me to help my children. It worked!

I also have a very picky eater. My son just turned three and has always been that way. He has a heart problem, so I have always been concerned about him not eating much at all soooooooo....................I put Carnation instant breakfast in his milk. That way I know that he is getting nutrients of some kind, and it tastes like chocolate milk.

Hi L., When my oldest boy was ready for food, he wanted the real thing.
So, I made my own baby food, and he liked the taste better. I don't know to many 9 month olds that do like green veggies. They were the hardest, for me to get my kids to eat. But, try making your own baby foods. You might see a change in their appetites. Good luck, L. k

I added plain soy yogurt to everything. It is smooth and has a slightly sweet taste.

For us getting a second opinion helped. My son wouldn't eat that early either. He was low weight but we asked for a second opinion and the doctor looked at my very skinny husband and said our son would be just fine. I think with all the obese kids doctors see they think ones that are slim are undernourished but I think you know your kids. If you are stressed about what they eat they will only start to learn that the way they eat controls you. Our son finally started eating a bit more normally after he was 18 months, just had his 5 year old check up and he's still low on the weight side and he's still picky but he is growing just fine. He's smart and articulate. If they like cheerios, try some other similar cereals. Since they like bread try sweet breads full of zucchini, squashes like pumpkin, carrot, banana and use applesauce instead of the oil. Slather it with some real butter for a boost of calories if they'll eat it that way. Fat calories in babies will not hurt them. My son loves 4% fat small curd cottage cheese and loves peach yogurt. The same flavor, same brand, all the time but he'd eat it all day!. Another thing to try is cream soups. I have a friend that her son will eat nothing crunchy but he loves cream soups. Split pea is his favorite.

curiosity gets the best of most. when you fix their food, give yourself some of what they're having. show how yummy it is, but don't try to encourage them. let them decide to try it.

I am a little confused, the baby's are 9 months? Baby's don't eat as part of their nutrician, but as a learning tool, for when they are no longer on formula. They also go through periods where they will everthing that is put in front of them and then only want to eat a few selected things, one of mine would eat cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The other would only eat cheese sandwichs and mac n cheese. I would always offer the healthy foods, that is important, but I never forced the issue, the more of an issue made of their eating habit the stronger they will resist. My kids will eat anything, but they do have their favorites. Try avocadoes, they are high in healthy fat and nobody has mentioned them yet. I say relax a little, if they know you are stressed they won't respond.

I have one suggestion , well at least it worked on my son.
Try putting fruit in their veggies or meals. It sounds gross but I tried it with my middle son and he ended up eating everything in site. It just makes them think they are getting sweets. GOOD LUCK

My twin boys hated the commercial baby food so I had no choice but make their food. Since they were born at 26.5 weeks they are going to be way below the weight charts until they are 3 at least. I loved the site wholesomebabyfood.com. They had some good ideas but mostly they ate variations of sweet potatoes, yogurt shakes and corn bread. It is amazing what you can sneak into the shakes and corn bread.
I still fill cornbread with all kinds of veggies and a couple pinches of sugar. Cover the top with butter and they think they have hit the jackpot!

Ok, I don't know if this is really the best advise....but this is what i do with my picky eater. She is not as bad as your kids (fine with her weight) But she is very, very picky. For example she will drink whole milk but some days all she wants is apple juice and I don't feel comfortable giving her that with all her meals. So for days like that I will add Nestle Quik to it. I know it's adding sugar but it's not all the time and at least she gets her milk in. My daughter hates all veggies unless it's veggie soup so I give her a multi vitamin every day. Plus there are some things out there that are pretty healthy but sweet. Like Gogurts. It comes in cotton candy flavor and my daughter loves it. Or the flavored oatmeal. My daughter used to hate all fruit to so I would buy fruit dip and dip her fruit in that now she eats fruit with nothing on it but the dip helped at first. I know it's really hard with picky eaters but they will get better as they get older and even though it's important to give them really healthy food. You also need to up their calorie intake so they will gain weight for the next appointment. So whatever you can get them to eat is great.

Stay strong and keep introducing healthy foods. If they like sweets - go to the fruits.. You can always add pureed fruit like applesauce to their warm cereal - I am thinking added to rice cereal or oatmeal or whatever kind of warm cereal you serve them. Deluted juice helps too to fight sweet cravings - just add more water so it isn't as sweet. My kids always liked white grape juice. Try foods like macaroni and cheese or spaghetti - if they like sweets they might also like carbs..

Hope that helps..
C.
www.AHomeCareer.com

That's tough, but kids do love sugar. How about some fruit or a smoothie esp if they are teething. I offered my son since he was young homemade chicken soup and I pack the stock with veggies. That way he gets the protein and fat from the meat and all the goodness from the vegetables. It's easy to digest, very satisfying and he actually asks for this for breakfast which is better than a sugarfest in the morning. As he got older I offered him either rice or rice noodles in the broth (he's 2.5 yrs old now). good luck!

hi there i am a mom of 4 (14&10 girls) and (7&3 boys) my three year old was the pickiest kid. i now know that it was probably due to his acid reflux and ear infections. but here was my solution----- fruit and veggie smoothies. i know you think i am crazy but listen to this. you can use formula and add yogert (any kind) any kind of fruit (can,fresh,frozen)i also would add canned pumpkin and sweet potatoes even cranberry sauce. i would use the the nuby cuppies with a rubber spout this way they could be super thick and still be sucked. i would start to thicken it with malt o meal, mashed potatoe flakes, and oatmeal (flavored) anything that could be blended. do they drink fruit juice?? that is a real calorie booster and as they get off the formula they could use peidsure or something like that. still offering table foods first and their favorites at that and i also used the chocolate,strawberry syrup to add to a sliced banana topped with rasins or granola. just enough to make it look appitizing. i made my own apple sauce to blend in the peelings which blend nicly and have a good fiber too. i haven't tried but have been told that the v-8 fusion is a real palate pleaser too. i have started adding v-8 tomato juice to foods that i cook. soups, mac n cheese, tuna caserole, chile,salsa,when it seemed like pasta was all they wanted i would blend a can of mixed veggies to the sauce and an extra splash of v-8 juice to make the sauce red . well i hope all this helps a little . GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS!!