At What Age Did Your Kids Learn to Tie Their Shoes?

Updated on December 21, 2015
Z.B. asks from Toledo, OH
27 answers

My 6 year old is very independent but struggling. I suspect this is actually quite normal.

Do you think it's ok that a 6 year old is still learning this skill?

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

Took forever. Sometime between 10 & 12. One kid has fine motor issues so it was a struggle. The other one just didn't want to bother. I wasn't going to make an issue about it. Comparing notes with other moms, this is pretty common in boys.

I bought velcro until they reached a size where velcro wasn't an option at the time. They were not too keen on mom tying their shoes, but it was still a struggle for them to tie in a way that would not come undone.

We were at a Goodwill and I saw a wooden lacing shoe. Melissa & Doug, if I remember correctly. I bought it. Even though it was meant for little kids, that was finally the thing did it. I don't know why a wood shoe worked so much better than a real shoe, but it worked so Yay. LOL

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

I think a lot of kids this age just don't have the dexterity to manage it. Totally normal. Try not to push - like everything else, it comes in time.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

It's pretty normal. they don't really get that down for a while. When I was raising my daughter, kids learned later because all the shoes were velcro so they didn't have to tie them and didn't get daily practice.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I learned how to do it myself the day before I started kindergarten - I was 5 yrs old.
Our son was older - but mostly because he's always worn velcro sneakers.
It's not as big a deal as it use to be.
If he learns how sometime before he hits middle school (and you should just SEE the older kids walking around with their laces all untied - it's amazing they don't trip more often) - it won't be any sort of real problem.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

ha ha!!! that was the big parental angst of MY day, before we had screen time to manage! the horror of velcro shoes- were we stunting our kids for life by depriving them of the opportunity to tie their feet together and have major meltdowns?
:D
because of this, i determined that both of mine would know how when they into kindergarten. in retrospect, it was a pretty ridiculous thing to insist upon. fortunately for me, my boys were pretty patient with me.
:) khairete
S.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Don't push it. I know my now almost 21 yr old was lagging on that due to the Velcro strips and no need for ties.

If course she eventually got it but it wasn't something I worried about.

It will come in time!!

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Yes. My 8 year old still has no desire to learn. We love the Merrill moccasins for that reason. Or shoes with bungee 'laces'.

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E.B.

answers from Beaumont on

Yes, it sounds perfectly normal. Like B pointed out, the kids now don't get the practice we did because most of their shoes have Velcro closures.

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J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

I wouldn't be worried about it as long as your child is trying. Kids don't learn everything at the same pace.

My daughter is 9 and does a very sloppy job at tying her shoe laces, but we live in Florida and usually wear flip flops or slip on shoes since it is always warm.

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V.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

I suppose it depends. Both our kids could do it before they were out of PreK (well before 5th birthdays). But, they didn't start out tying them the "standard" way, they did some double loop tie thing my husband taught them. Then I taught them standard after that. And it wasn't like they were fast at it right away, either. It was still faster for me to do it than for our daughter when she was 4 or 5.

But we made an effort to have them do things for themselves, and they wanted to do it. If we had always done it for them and hadn't spent any time on it at all, then I would expect it to be somewhat "normal" for them not to know how at age 6. If, as we did, we had made an effort and they still hadn't figure out how to accomplish it in 2 years, then I'd consult with the pediatrician. Perhaps some fine motor skills issues are flying below the radar and need to be addressed.

I will say that we went through phases with both kids where we used bungee laced shoes or velcro strapped ones. It was faster, but we bought those particular shoes more because they fit than anything else. :)
---
Wow, just read the other responses. Maybe it's more normal than I realized. I know my son's K4 teacher said "anything they *can* do on their own, they will be expected to do on their own... anything else I'll be glad to help with." He could tie his shoes, put on his jackets, and write his name without assistance. So he was expected to. I suppose other kids received assistance with those things.

Daughter always tried to keep up with older brother.
I can definitely see how lack of opportunity would slow the process down. So many shoes don't have actual laces these days. Our kids' did, for the most part, except for a pair or two here or there.

Does your child have laced shoes? Has he always had laced shoes? Or has he had a lot of velcro ones?

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

Don't see why not. My daughter is 7 1/2 and just finally "got it" in the past couple of months. She does not do it perfectly and they come undone pretty often but she keeps doing it.

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C.S.

answers from St. Louis on

Shoes? In kindergarten the Christmas vacation assignment was to come back to school knowing how to tie your own shoes. In this case, my daughter was six along with many other children.

Prior to their learning, the teachers would not tie shoes. So if their shoe came untied, they had to ask a friend who knew how to tie for help.

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K.M.

answers from Fayetteville on

Totally normal!! Most of the kindergartners in my son's class (my son included) cannot tie shoes.

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B.E.

answers from New York on

Mine was somewhere between 6 and 7. It took some time for him to do it passably, without me constantly checking the laces. Now he wouldn't touch a pair of velcro shoes with a ten-foot pole. They're not "cool".

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Around 5 or 6 was "normal" when I was a kid, and seemed to be about the same for my kids, ten to fifteen years ago.
Shoe tying sort of goes hand in hand (literally lol!) with school readiness, handwriting, cutting, etc.
I know when I started Kindergarten back in 1973 we were expected to know how to tie, or buckle (buckle? am I dating myself?) our shoes without help :-)

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D.D.

answers from Boston on

The best way that I've foundv is to have an older child teach yours. My oldest didn't get it until my neighbor's son taught her.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

My kids figured it around age 6. I remember my oldest learning to ride a bike, swim and tie his shoes all at around the same time, from late Kindergarten and into 1st grade. My younger two were around the same age. I think it helped that they wore lace-up footwear for sports (cleats, skates) so they were motivated to be able to just lace up and go.

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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

This is how I taught my 6 year old son. He watched the video twice and got it in about 5 minutes the night before starting 1st grade. It takes him a little longer to tie, but he can do it on his own. You do need longer shoelaces for it to work.

http://www.momadvice.com/post/a-new-way-to-teach-your-chi...

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M.M.

answers from Boston on

sounds normal...my son got it somewhere in 2nd grade (age 7/august baby)

dont worry

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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Over half of my grand kids couldn't tie their own shoes until they were 8 or so. The others just got it in Kindergarten or 1st grade. Each kid is different. If you don't like tying shoes get him some Hickies (sp) or some elastic laces or Velcro.

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

Yes, it's ok. My daughter is 6 and does not know how yet. But she is close to learning and I think she'll get it this year. My son just learned last year at age 10 (5th grade)! I know...ridiculous. This was a great source of angst to him! He just would never sit and practice...he'd get all upset and give up every time. Once he really sat and tried he got it. I had to google up a different way to learn to tie shoes and that is how he learned to do it.

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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

My daughter finally mastered it two years ago, she's 9 now. It took showing her a "trick" on youtube that things finally clicked for her. I was trying to teach her the "Bunny around the tree" method and she was so lost. I found this :https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJ6PR-z34lY

This method worked for her. Might want to look into it yourself.

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

Like B's response :) Funny

My kids were somewhere around that age or 7 I think - but again, it was all Velcro. My eldest one would tie them so loosely they never stayed tied for a long time, so we just stuck with the Velcro, but eventually he got it on his own. It must just come.

My youngest can't - left handed and quite awkward with it. I have to admit, we do Velcro there too and I've just been a bit lazy in bothering. She's older. Maybe over Christmas break ...

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

My new 6 year old and my 7.5 year old can tie the first loop. They wear slip on shoes, so they have no need to tie shoes.

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K.H.

answers from Burlington on

Sure sounds pretty normal. I think its something that can vary between kids, it comes to different kids at different times I believe. From what I remember, daughter was doing that at about five, but sons were at least six before they could confidently do it. I think the key is to give them as much encouragement as you can, particularly when they are struggling with it as it will help them to eventually get it right, and ultimately be able to do it consistently.

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K.A.

answers from San Diego on

My 6 year old is still learning. I can't remember how old my boys were when they finally got it and could do it consistently. I know at 14 my son can and has for a while. My 12 year old son doesn't want to. He can but he won't wear shoes with laces because they get caught in his bike chain and he hates constantly redoing them all day. His is a choice though LOL

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J.J.

answers from Buffalo on

My dd has very narrow feet so the shoes have to be really tight laced. She's been able to tie them and even laced her own ice skates when she was younger, but I still have to step in to tighten up her high tops and she's 12! If I don't the shoes are way too loose.
Not a big deal in the big scheme of things

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