At a Loss and Feeling Helpless

I know how you feel since I went through a similar situation.
Is it an option to pay the sitter a bit extra and have her pick up the child at school?

I agree with appealing to the board. If that doesn't work make a complaint with the newspaper or local TV station. Put it out there and make it look like the board doesn't care about the kids that they only care about $$$. It sounds a little mean but with gas prices and food prices going up the way they have been who can afford to be a stay at home, as much as we would all like to be. GOOD LUCK AND I WISH YOU THE BEST!!!

A. - Perhaps the principal will allow you to pay tuition for your son to go to school in the same district as your babysitter lives.

However, down the road ... won't you want your children to go to the school district where you live so that they will know and play with the kids near your home? Otherwise, you'll be driving to your sitter's district to "play dates" and sporting events as the kids get older. Just a thought on that subject.

Perhaps you can find someone within your neighborhood that would be willing to watch your son before and after school that will also be willing to take your other children as they become school age.

Good luck!

If your babysitter is living in another school district, then like the other poster said, about the only thing you can do is offer to pay the out-of-district tuition. Although it seems harsh, the principal is actually doing what he legally should be doing since the child does not reside in the district.

Another option might be to find a sitter 'in district' for your kindergarten son? I know it's a major hassle, but unfortunately unless you pay tuition (or live in that other school district, thus paying school taxes or living in a residence that collects school taxes), the principal has no legal obligation to accept your child.

I feel your pain :) My oldest will be starting kindergarten this fall too and we're trying to get the "to" and "from" situation worked out as well. We don't live in the sitter's school district either and my 6mo old will continue to go there. So far, it's down to looking into the YMCA's latchkey program that is at the school he'll attend or help from the grandmas. Don't know what school district you're in but it might be something to look into; there's a weekly fee involved and I think the amount depends on am or pm care, or both. It seems that most open at 7 am and close at 6 pm, don't know if that helpd or not. Good Luck!

There are a lot of great suggestions here concerning the child care and you should think about them. As far as the out of district transfer, the problem comes down to money. We pay taxes into our school districts. It's not fair to that districts tax payers to take on children from outside the district. It's not a personal thing on the principals' part. Also, think about your child. What happens down the road when you do have to find another sitter or when you don't need the sitter anymore. Do you then move your child back to your home district forcing him to leave his friends? It gets much harder for them as they get older to leave friends as they start to rely on them. In my opinion, it'd be much easier to get your children used to a new sitter now than for your son to move later on. We have friends who use an au pair and they have to get a new one every 1 to 2 years -- the children do just fine.

Anyway, good luck! I'm a working mom myself and I know how stressful it can be!

I have a friend that had the same problem. He went to the superintendent. Call your local administration office and ask who you need to talk to about an extremely necessary transfer. If you tell them you will loss your job you might see results. Good luck. By the way my friend did get the transfer for his daughter and he took his daughter in to thank them. This year he easily got the transfer for both his daughter and son. It can be done.

What about child care centers rather than a sitter?

Appeal to the board of education who is over the principal. Worth a try. Who can afford to quit their job with four kids in tow? Work hard to let them know this is not an option for you. Submit your request in writting and follow up with phone calls. That way you can keep the emotion out of your letter and only tell them the facts. This kind of politics is the reason people are forced to lie and submit inaccurate addresses. Good luck to you!

See if there's someone else you can obtain assistance for the transfer. Talk to the other school and see if they can assist with the transfer. I would keep on them to make sure they follow through on requests. I would require call backs so you can monitor the progress. Ask them what the process is and the expected turn around time from the beginning to the end of the process. Perhaps by talking to other schools you can obtain the real timeline and explanation on the transfer process.

A.,
I don't know what school districts you're talking about, but I can say from an educator's view point, that it is extremely difficult to have an out-of-district student in a school system. Each student costs the school thousands of dollars to educate and your home district would have to pay the baby-sitter's home district (this is usually between $10 and $50k...depending on many things, but a big one is whether the districts are 'equal' academically--ie state reportcards).
Although I have heard of children w/in the same district going to a different elementary school in the same district, I have very rarely heard of a child going to a different district all-together...I have only heard of two exceptions...the child has a special education need that the school district isn't prepared to best address or a student going to the school district their parent teaches in.
Good luck...

See if the other school district has open enrollment. If they do, contact your superintendent to advise him or her of what your intentions are. They fight this because of the money they get from the state. I am not sure of how it works on transferring the funds, though.

WOW!!! The testosterone levels in your house must be off the charts! I don't have any advise, but wanted to let you know someone is thinking about you. I have two boys and really can't imagine having another, let alone 2 more. I'm sending estrogen waves your way ;)

Just thought of something...can you hire a cab company to to the transporting? I had a friend in grade school who wasn't on the buss line and her parents paid a cab driver a set amount to pick her up each day.

why can't the babysitter just take him to and from the school in your district? they are really strict about that type of stuff. i think it's dumb either way. as long as they have kids in all schools, why not let them go where it's convenient for the parents. good luck. wish you the best

This is just a shot in the dark, but if you have friends that there kids go to the same school as your son, maybe they would be willing to transport your son for you. I know that my friends would do that for me. I hope maybe this helps, I don't know. Good Luck.

why not have your babysitter come to your home? you are paying her, after all, right? that seems better than switching sitters or switching schools etc.

I would contact the board of education that your school district is in and see if they can give you some guidance. I do know that some school districts are very strict and have their policy on kids attending that are not in their school district but other districts have open enrollment right before school starts.
Do you know any other moms in your school district that would be willing to transport your son to school from your home and from school to your baby sitter for a transportation fee? Can you call your local school and find out if there is any type of school transportation to another school district (after school)? Or maybe they can give you some other ideas.
Hang in there.

I don't have time to read all the other responses to see if anyone has already suggested this, but... Why don't you talk to your boss to see if you could either flex your hours or just work fewer hours in order to accommodate the school schedule. There are plenty of moms who do this, and it's a nice compromise between working full-time and staying at home full-time.

Good luck!

Check with the district you live in about before/after school programming. The district I work in has a latchkey program that begins at 6 am and ends at 6pm. It allows parents to drop kids off on their way to work and know that the children are in a safe, monitored situation. Before school, they provide a small breakfast and after they provide homework and playtime.

You might also check with churches or daycares in your district to see if they run a program like this. We had a daycare in our district that did this and the students were able to ride the school bus to and from. Good luck!

Hi A.,

I am a mother of 5 and work part-time (3 days per week). My children are now 4, 6,6,7,9, but 4 years ago were all 5 and under. I needed a babysitter also and decided to hire someone to come to my house and it worked out wonderfully! I have had the same sitter for that time, with a few inbetween while she was on maternity leave. When my sitter started, she had no children and now has 3 of her own. I have always allowed her to bring her children with her and it has been a win for her and me. She does a load of laundry when she is here and makes sure the house is picked up and the beds made before she leaves. Look around in your area through the local colleges and friends for someone who might be interested. I have several friends who do the same. The sitter at your home can get the kids on and off the bus, etc. and you don't have to pack the kids up every morning and rush them off to the sitters. Good Luck!

Not sure where you live, but did you know in Indiana Kindergarten isn't required? You could just wait until your son gets to first grade, then you wouldn't have to worry about the sitter thing. Also, did you look at your school? Our school had babysitting available after Kindergarten, and there is a church daycare near the school that will take Kindergarteners before and after school. It may mean that you have children at two different daycares, but may bet he answer to your needs. Good luck!
R.

Autum. What state do you live in and what are the policies of the schools. Is it a school of choice or what? I don't think the principal can stop the transfer. I would just tell him that you are transfering your son and that is the way it is. Please let me know and I will try to help you find out what to do so you don't have to quit your job. I have went head to head with schools on this issue back in Michigan with my sons. They think they can bully parents and don't realize some of us are fighters.

Hello have you checked to see if your son can go to the school you want him to if you paid tuition? You may have already ask but if not it wouldn't hurt to try.
Good Luck K.

I know that this will sound bad and maybe it is but I was a bus driver for a school district for 8 years and we had people that had the same problem, and I know this happened in our district. They would register their children at the new school with the babsitters address. Then you could drop them off in the morning and he could ride the bus from her house. I don't know if your babysitter would agree to it but it's something to think about. I think it would save you a lot of hassle. Good luck.

I have to ask you the same question one other person asked you. Why don't you want to stay home with your kids. I loved my job when I left but you know I am so glad I stayed home with my kids. They are now 25,15,13,and 10and I stopped working when they were 14,4,2 and one born after.It was tough in the beginning because it was something new for me but I would not trade these years for anything. I learned so much about my kids in an unrushed less stressful environment and it benefited my kids immensely. Ask yourself "Why did I have kids" and think about what that means to you.I hope you can take some time to really think this through; the benefits and the disadvantages for everyone involved. I see more kids in our schools in need of parents to be there for them and teach them. The schools are dealing with more aggresive behavior and some of it is caused by parents not being more involved. Please think this through. Those years are the most formative and who do you want influencing your children? And if you really want to see the epidemic read 'Boys Adrift' by Leonard Sax, The Mind of Boys by Michael Gurian, or Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson. It's a different world out there.

You may also want to consider homeschooling your son. I know you work full time, have four kids, and are already stressed, but I've seen people homeschool in much worse circumstances. I work full time third shift and currently homeschool my son and I have one on the way. My husband also works full time. Your babysitter may be willing to oversee your son while he does assigned homework that you can check when you get home. Then he can work on any new assignments while you or his dad cook dinner. There are plenty of ways to make homeschooling work if that's something you're interested in. You can always check out books at the library on homeschooling. It will definitely be cheaper than the cost of tuition.

I have not been in this particular situation, but know what it is like to have to find a good sitter and have your children taken care of so that you can get to your job. Do you like the school district that you live in? If yes, then you might consider asking one of the mothers in the neighborhood with children if your son could catch the bus with their children in the morning. This would alleviate you having to be there. You could plan a few play dates with the children and mother so that you get to know one another better and then work out an arrangement. You will be suprised at how helpful your neighbors can be. Also, you have to consider all your sources before making a drastic change such as quiting your job. I hope this has been helpful. Good luck.

Have you looked into different kinds of transpertation in your area??? Your babysitter can't pick them up??? You don't have a friend that you could pay gas money to do that??? I know here if you request ahead there are ACT busses that you can get to pick up your kids. Just a few ideas.

It would be hard to quit your job especially if you need the income. some people list their grandparents or their parents address if it is in the school district. you would need at least one piece of mail to go to that address. a lot of people do that so their kids can go to a different school. my grand kids went to a different school and the mom put my address as theirs so they could go to that school.

I am wondering why it is that you don't want to stay home with your kids. I realize that you love your job, but it will always be there for you once they leave home, etc. But, your kids will not and I think you may find that you'll enjoy being with them once you do get settled in. There are many women who have made this transition and find it to be more fulfilling than their job. Yes, it will be an adjustment and it will take a while to make the transition, but I think you'll be surprised at how much you've missed!!

Good luck to you!