Arguing Triplets

This is part of the nature of learning who you are. They need to be able to resolve conflict by themselves. You can ask them to respect the other's wishes and "what can we do to work together so that everyone can get what they want" Learning to share will probably be easy for them when they know that they are in charge of working out the details.

Check out http://www.emofree.com for a free manual on Emotional Freedom Technique. This is a healing technique that is very good and can be something you do as a surrogate for them when you see tension building to just dissipate the negative feelings.

When they get out of control, have them sit down with both hands over the center of their chest (the area you point to when you say "my name is ______) and breathe until they calm down. As they sit with their hands on the center of their being, have them say, "I want to feel better"

Love, L.

Siblings love, and siblings fight. That's normal. But... this is what makes the difference: How much you allow, what you tolerate, and whether you intervene and teach them to treat each other with respect. Also, your tone of voice and how you treat them and your spouse also makes a big difference. Good luck to you!

You are wounderful to keep your head on tight. I could never do what you do! More power to you. If I could give you a high five, I soooo would!

How fun to jump on here for the first time and see a triplet mom! I have 6-year-old triplets and I can empathize with you. Though I don't have much advice, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I have felt, in the past couple of years, that my job has gone from safety patrol to referee. A couple of things my husband and I have tried to implement more regularly seem to cut down on the fighting. One, as soon as it starts up I separate them into different play areas. I tell them that it is not a punishment, just another place to play without being "bothered" by anyone else. One may read, one may color, one may play a game, etc. They get to rotate - again to cut down on fighting! We have also started one-on-one dates this past year. Every week either my husband or myself take one of our kids out on a "date". I think the one-on-one time has helped all of us to get along better and it's really good for them to have a break from eachother. We have also encouraged friends to just invite one of them over at a time- providing separate play dates and AGAIN time apart. Good luck!
Jen G.

As a mom of 6-year-old twins, I think that your triplets' behaviour sounds normal. Is there anything in particular about their fights that worries you (e.g., are they in danger of injuring each other? Is the fighting a fairly new development?) From my observations/experiences thus far with my twins, it seems they go through phases where their ability to observe and experience things in their surroundings jumps ahead of their ability to process and express what they're feeling, and until their words catch up with their feelings, we have an increased frequency and severity of meltdowns =:-O.
So if the fighting is a fairly new thing, it might just be that your kids are going through what we call a "cognitive growth spurt" in our household - they're noticing more things around them (hey, my sibling got X and I only got Y, so-and-so always wants to play with A and B but not me, etc.) but haven't quite figured out in their minds how to express these feelings verbally yet except with those "fighting words" like "mine!" "he started it!" "did not!" etc.

J.,
Oh how I can so relate! I am a mother of 5 yr. old identical triplet girls. I also have a 12 yr. old son, a 7 yr. old daughter, and an 18 month old daughter. The triplets are best friends, but as you say, they frequently fight like cats and dogs. I think it's pretty typical, but when I have the time and energy, I do what I can to acknowledge their feelings and then turn their energy to some type of activity. One thing that my girls love to do is make collages. My husband or I give them each a big piece of cardboard or anything from our recycling container and a bunch of old magazines to cut pictures out and glue them to the cardboard. I don't always have the time to divert them to such activities, but I do when I can and they usually quickly change their moods. They seem to fight most when they're bored or have been stuck in the house when it's raining. I know how hard it can be on the nerves.

K. B.

Well, I don't have triplets but I do have 3 children that are close in age. When they fight, they all get a consequence. I play no favorites and since they are all doing the deed now and particiapted in the arguments, they all suffer. I have to admit. It's rare that my children argue anymore. I'm proud that I was always pro acitve with them. I guess what you need to do is let them know who's boss and control there behavior with a consequence. Whatever that maybe for you. Consistancy with kids make a huge difference. They need to know you are a woman of your words and do something that will catch there attention. A little fear goes a long way. Even if it's you taking away something important for all three of them.