Are People as Perfect as Their Answers??

I think the type of people who like mamapedia are the type of people that like to help other people or they wouldn't spend time here. So.......test group is skewed.

Keep in mind its always easier to be and give objective advice when you're not emotionally tied to the situation. After all, how many licensed marriage therapists do you know that have been or are divorced?

Mommy,

I JUST finished answering a question with an answer that pretty much said "Let it go".

No I'm not perfect. In my real life I am a bit of a hothead. I guess my experience working in retail for such a long time has me a bit jaded. A lot jaded. I feel the need to be in peoples faces sometimes. In fact, my husband usually calms me down when I'm ranting about my family - or some heinous wrong that I observed while at the grocery store. He talks me off the ledge and reminds me to see the other side of every situation. Damn him.

But I will say I answer every post with as much empathy and concern and truth as I can. For some strange reason - especially lately - it's helping me to shrug off my own worries. It's helping me to try to be a better person. And I need a lot of work, too.

Some of my answers are based on what I would do NOW and not what I did back when I was a young mom, so it's more of an experience based answer. We get to sit here and think about what we would do. In real life we don't usually get a chance to think before we act. I'm sure that skews our answers somewhat as well.
Mamapedia is the "perfect" world, our real world isn't.

Hmmm. You seem jaded.
No offense.
I'm not sure what type of answers you're looking for, but I live in a very rural, tiny place where everyone basically knows everyone else and looks out for everybody.
The "real" world? I guess it's a matter of perspective.
My world is real. Very real. People where I live struggle to make ends meet and you know a good person when you meet them.
We, perhaps, have a sense of community that gets lost in the "big" world.
There are jerks everywhere, don't get me wrong. But I'm just not sure why you are skeptical about people looking on the "I'd rather give" side of things.
To me, that's a ray of hope for humanity. I've seen it with my own eyes. I believe it. I don't question it. I'm thankful for the times I get to experience it in my life.
There is good in the world.
There are people who are poor and will give you anything they have and come to the rescue. They may not have money, but they have integrity.
They have good hearts.
It's a shame if you aren't surrounded by people like that. It truly is a beautiful thing.
I open doors for people, I let people with less groceries go in line ahead of me, I reach for things that someone in the store is struggling to reach. When someone at work asks me where a building is, I take them. I walk them there. I share food with my neighbors. I take care of their animals when they go out of town.
I offer these things.
I'm no angel.
But, I have raised my kids to be the same kind of person.
My daughter has devoted her life to people with developmental disabilities and my son is right there to help anyone in need. He doesn't have to be asked. He offers.
Every little thing is a mitzvah.
Share what you have.
Give what you can.
Be a part of the human experience.

That's my philosophy.
They aren't just words. I live it.
To me, it doesn't matter what other people do. Or say.
I have to live with myself.
I've had struggles in my life, but I've also had people be pretty good to me because that's what I try to throw out into the universe.

I believe that good deeds do come back to us in one way or another.
I've never been sorry for anything I've done to help or give another person.

Just my perspective.

I AM....

*polishing halo...spreading wings*

...NOT!!!
Michele/cat

It is always easier to know what we should do than to actually respond that way. It is also easier to clean out another person's closet than our own....which is to say that when you are not personally vested the answers come more easily. But don't you like the encouragement to do the right thing...and the support that comes from an unbiased 3rd party? Cheers!

I really don't like posts like this, that is the truth. Not trying to be rude or anything, but really, when people get on their rants about how bad the answers are, I wonder, "why do you use the site?". I think all posts like this do is make people feel bad about taking the time to answer a question. I have had my thoughts about a response I have read from time to time, I either flag it, send a personal message to them or just move on. Your post is so vague, nobody who reads this knows if they are the offender or your sensibilities and it is just a gripe. It's a public board, use it or don't. I am not trying to be rude, but I think my answer is a little feisty. Guess I have seen one to many posts criticizing people's way or responding...sorry if I was the jerk answer...just my honest opinion...take care

I do understand what you are saying. I've been shaking my head at some answers for years. In an ideal world we should all be loving and forgiving and let go of things that people do and say that bother us. If we knew how to do that, then we probably wouldn't have a whole lot to talk about on here :)

But I think what is likely going on is that we are all giving answers based on what we hope or think should happen. Do you really want to see people coming on here and riling each other up? Are we supposed to tell each other to get mad, stay mad, poke people in the eye and get even?

I'm so far from perfect I'd need a map to get there.

I think the idea of receiving advice is the mutual understanding that all advice is *ideal*. We have perspective because, frankly, it's not happening to us. It's happening to someone else.

This is one reason I will ask my husband for advice on something that I'm stumped on, or feeling a little too emotionally involved in. He's fabulous at being a good compass in this regard, because he knows me and he also knows the people involved. I have to say, this is one drawback to the forum model: no one knows who you are talking about, and if you or they are the ones exacerbating any given situation.

I don't know anyone who is gracious, selfless and kindhearted all the time. And I know some beautiful, gracious women-- but to know them is to know they aren't perfect.

I do give the advice I take for myself. I wouldn't recommend it if I'd had negative or uneffective results, but I also come at this as a teacher as well as a mother with a more scientific/less emotional mind about things sometimes. I've had the advantage of working with children for nearly 20 years, and I'm curious about human brain development, which should be more tied into parenting than it often is. Parenting is often about solely the adult point of view. Understanding child development really helps.

As for *an eye for an eye*, could you clarify?Is this a specific question? I'm not a big believer in revenge: it's energy hopelessly wasted. Living one's life happily should be enough. One bent on revenge is not living life happily; they are dedicating their focus and energy on the wrong areas. (And yep, I sometimes make this mistake myself, getting too emotionally involved in righting some iniquity.)

As for the OC/LA area: I didn't watch the tv shows and have never lived there, so I have no true gauge for it. However, I'm an older lady and pick my friends well. Consequently, I don't think the worst of them. We all have our stuff, and yes, there are sometimes disappointments, but no one is perfect.

I'd like to think I do.

I have been VERY blessed - my husband makes enough money so I can stay home with my kids - I sell items on ebay to make extra money and I am lucky enough to have a job that pays a nice commission (so I work when I want to work not because I have to!)

Any way - there was a time when I was at the store and NONE of my debit cards were working (I HAD MONEY!! SWEAR!!!) the W. in line behind me PAID for my groceries - we're talking $35 not just a meer $2 or something like that - I cried...my cell phone was dead, my debit cards weren't working so I couldn't get ahold of my husband....I remember that...

I've seen people struggling in the store - if I have the money - I pay. I open doors for people - I don't let it slam in their face. I try to treat others the way I want to be treated. For the most part - it works.

Yes, it bothers me that some people do the "eye for the eye" thing...when it comes to protecting my kids - damn tooting I'll do more than eye damage if someone hurts my kids. As my boys say "I pity the fool"...makes me smile.

Here is DC - you'd be surprised at all the kind people!!! I know being born and bred in CA - I wasn't thinking there would be - but they are here!!!

AS for the leaf raking question...I stand by my advice.
Sometimes people hace selfish thoughts and you'd think that just the act of seeing it in the written word would make that point--but, obviously NOT!

I ALWAYS help my neighbors. I delivered homemade soup to the lady across the street that just returned home yesterday after surgery, I often bring my next door neighbor's trash cans in from the street when I am home on garbage day, since they both work, I take some of my son's outgrown clothes to the lady 2 doors down if I think they might be good for her boy.

I'm not looking for a medal here---I just like to help people out.

I hardly think I would expect a 70 year old man to rake the leaves from MY tree OR for him to come over and rake the walnuts out of MY yard that fall from HIS tree. That's ridiculous.

sounds to me as if you're over-reacting a little to a particular question. i very much doubt that *all* the responders are ever really against someone who has a healthy self-interest. but questions that are dripping with ego do tend to get a fair bit of slap back. i think that's a good thing. all of us need a wake up call from time to time and i'll bet every poster you consider to be perfectly snooty has had a rude awakening delivered by a clue-by-four at some point.
khairete
S.

I don't think anyone here claims to be perfect.

I DO think everyone here tries to answer questions honestly with what THEY think will help. I Don't think it goes any deeper than that.

If your question were 'do people REALLY ALWAYS practice what they preach?', my answer would be a resounding NO!

Poster ask opinions, responders in turn GIVE opinions, isn't that the point?

:)

I try, but I have my flaws too.

It's a lot easier to give "right" or more altruistic advice when you are an uninvolved third party.

I'm not perfect in writing or in life.

But, I do try to be honest. Honest with you and honest with myself. I try to write things from my experience and, in doing so, I get to remind myself of what works (for me/my family), what doesn't work (for me/my family), and how I want to live.

Writing out suggestions, I put my own life/actions in check. If I suggest something to a person, I darn well be willing to look at how I do, or do not do that myself. That's one of the things I like about this site - sometimes, I have to take a hard look in the mirror. And then, as uncomfortable as it can be, I have the opportunity to grow.

To your question, I say no, they are not - but wisdom doesn't come by perfection, it comes through/by expereience and there are some super savvvy mamas on this site!
To really see the people who respond to you - click on thier names and view some of thier posts and answers....man, I looked back over my own the other day and if I didn't know me, I'd think I was a crazy girl!!! I do have a certain degree of crazy within me but in this world, it only helps me to get by!!

Have a great day:)

Yeah, I am a very nice person and would like to think that my personality is reflected here.
BTW Being nice is not a claim of perfection.
Life is a jorney of learning. Living it can be done in a good way or in lots of other not so nice ways of varying degrees.
All the best
B. k

I always try to be the person my dog thinks I am!!! ;)))
( dogs think their owners are utterly awesome )

Seriously ....yes I do suck sometimes. I may have had a bad morning, a bad day period, and my not-so-pretty side comes out. But I do try to do my best each day. Some days its a breeze and others -- not so easy. I have more great days than not , thank God for that.
If someone needs my help, yes I try to do what I can. Whether it be coming from my own experience or just basic common sense. I need help at times too and look for help myself. No one is perfect. ;)

I strive to be. Do I always achieve it - no. But I try everyday to be the person I want to be and the the type of person I would want to surround myself with.

maybe it's where you live? i don't know, never been there. i for one am not a "people person" and usually am more likely to walk by with my eyes down than make contact, so i am not a "perfect" good samaritan by any means. but if someone asks me for help, they get it. if my family or friends or neighbors or someone i know is having a hard time, i try to help, even if it's just an ear to listen. no one's perfect. but we all know what we "should" do, and what we "hope" we would do. so when someone asks for advice, they may not get what we WOULD do in a situation...but the "Right" thing to do, and what we all hope we would. make sense? not to mention (since this is a mom's forum) we all worship our kids and if our kids are so great, they must have some pretty good moms, so it's hard not to think we're doing "it" right. we all make mistakes and in reality NO parent is perfect or has done "everything" right from day one. but we learn from our mistakes and we try to do better.

just keep in mind...it's the internet...just take it with a grain of salt. we are all painting pictures of ourselves. who knows if they are honest or not? ok maybe i'm a little jaded too :) hehe..!

No one is perfect and I know for a fact that I am far from it. I will swear at people that cut me off, I have had my fair share of snarky, but I don't give advise I don't follow. The good thing about writing is that it gives you a chance to think about what you say before it comes flying out of your mouth. I try to use the old saying "if you can't say nothing nice, then don't say it at all." I try to be kind for the sake of kindness and I think most people can be that way. I don't want a cookie, but I hope that me being kind will make a difference in someone else's day. I feel that all types of people surround you. There are the nasty ones and there are those that really try to live a kind life. Sometimes its hard to find those people, but when you start looking at the little stuff you can find some wonderful people. As for the eye for an eye mentality, from the way I define it, it is frustrating but natural. Our first instinct is to get nasty back at someone being mean. But from a nice view when you are kind its only natural to want people to be the same way back at you. The hard thing is when you are nice and meet the nasty people. I have made it a challenge ( I work retail ) to stay nice and smile even when people are yelling at me (its a bit sadistic because I know I am frustrating them because they can't get a rise out of me) I feel like this sounded a bit Mary Poppins, so I apologize. As for any mamapedia posts I make I know that we are on here looking for support and help, so I do my best to be encouraging and positive. PS I am sure your location is playing into your perceptions ( JK that was just for the fun of snarkiness) :-) Best of wishes.

Each morning I wake up and try to be wonderful mother, wife, friend, neighbor, and the crazy lady you meet in the store. Do I always succeed? No! Sometimes life just gets you down. I do believe treat others how you would want them to treat you.
The place I am done being nice is when I am driving! I am so fed up with people on their cell phones coming into my lane, not stopping at stop signs, not using their turn signals etc.. Now if you come into my lane I will honk at you,LOUDLY!!!!

They aren't perfect but some people are much nicer then others. When I was pregnant I never had to clear my car or shovel my downstairs neighbor was more then happy to do it. I did ask he just would do it and wouldn't take anything in return so I'd make beef stew and bring some down to him. It's called being neighborly. I can tell you if my neighbors needed something or asked us to do something we would do it without complaint because they do things for us. My hubby left the lights on on his truck and a lady walking down the road stopped and knocked on our door to tell us how nice not o wake up inthe morning with a dead battery :). I think you are getting too worked up over that question...."let it go"

I think that most of us answers questions with the "wisdom" we've gained by having made mistakes. I'm not the mom I would like to be - but I'm a better mom than I was years ago - even than a few weeks ago. I know alot now about little kids and dealing with inlaws - I know nothing about college aged kids and am just learning about teens. Now I now about depression having dealt with it in my MIL, nephew and now my own DD. I'm not the expert but I know how to recognize it and know about some basics. Some day I'll be able to counsel other moms of teens with depression. I'm an expert now at ADHD, early intervention and special ed for some kinds of learning issues - because I've been through it. I've had one baby who slept really well, another who never slept and had night terrors. I had a really early walker (7.5 mos) but late talker (2 yrs). I've dealt with marriage problems - and worked through them in this marriage and didn't in my first.
All this is to say that I've learned alot about life, kids, inlaws, medical issues, etc. I'm not perfect and don't go near the questions that I have no knowledge or experience with. But if I see a mom despairing over lack of sleep, special ed, whether or not to medicate ADHD, disciplining kids, dealing with a difficult MIL or mom I jump right in.

I think we're all just trying to do the best we can and share what we've learned in this journey. ;o)

Of course I have my foibles, flaws and vices and I freely admit to them. Probably my biggest one is my Irish temper. My poor dear husband has to hear me rant about things (I have had to stop watching the news because usually that is what sets me off) and wait for it to blow over a few minutes later. That is why I either don't answer questions that anger me or I revisit the question after my temper stops flaring. I can honestly say that however I answer a question is how I am in real life and any advice I give or opinions I have are given because I hope to be helpful.

I read every response with that proverbial grain of salt.
Does it make sense in my world?
Would that be a practical solution even if I never thought of it that way or it goes against my way of thinking?

It's good to hear solutions to issues that we may be facing where living in the thick of it we are so invested in our own emotions that we forget there are other people out there, or othere ways of dealing with things we consider problems.
Sometimes we get stuck in the hamster wheel and cant' get off. THen by seeing a different perspective we are able to say OH That is a GREAT IDEA!!!!
A mom might be sitting at her computer abused, depressed, scared but by answering Go get help, she too sees the words coming from her own hand and finally gets the courage to do so, then can come back as a been there done that responder.
We are not perfect, I am not perfect. But we want to give answers that will help people solve their problems, not incite their neighbors.

I wish I were as good in real life as I am in retrospect dealing with another persons problems! Truth be told I personally do attempt to pay it forward and I tend to let things roll of my back. There are not too many things in this world that are worth getting all freaked out about and trust me, my life hasn't been all rosy and pretty.
Actually what I pick up on a lot are the people (no, I don't know who - I don't pay attention to names usually) who are quick to tell others to get out of a relationship, romantic or familial because it is "toxic." It seems many people are quick to shut others out of their lives if they aren't agreed with. Also, there are often people saying to look out for yourself and the whole, "If mama ain't happy noone's happy" outlook which gives one the freedom to disregard others in their pursuit of personal happiness. If we (as in a society) put other's ahead of ourselves then maybe more gracious, selfless, kind-hearted people would be out there, in OC/LA & other places! Though I often fail, I attempt to live my life by the two greatest commandments:
1. Love the Lord your God with all your mind, body, & soul.
2. Love your neighbor as yourself.

Jubee is right.
I try to be consistent and practice what I preach. Not always perfect. I still ask questions to keep me going in the right direction :)

Here, Here!!! Finally someone else that noticed the temperament, at times. I remember I had asked a question in regards to I, the SAHM, that felt she was doing everything around the house while my husband chose to do nothing. Wow, the responses I received and the tone. And, because at the time, I really was having a moment. You know, those moments that we all go through, I mean some of us, that sometimes or some days we are a little more sensitive to. I didn't want to be judged or reprimanded like a child. From some of those responses I felt like these women really are not the norm. Their responses gave me a worse feeling after reading them. How perfect some can come off as being. I highly doubt their home, life, marriage, is so in order and perfectly managed. One up for the non-perfect!
Thanks Mommyof2 for standing up and speaking.

In my opinion. Once again, in my opinion, I think people tend to be on the attack, judgmental, and self-righteous. Sometimes I think if people's home life is so wonderful and their marriage is blissfully perfect, why are they constantly belittling and judging other posters who have legitimate issues, questions and are just seeking answers, not sympathy, not pity. Just answers to their questions. For example, they tend to justify and make excuses for selfish behavior instead of considering the full issue. EXAMPLE: If a person has fertility issues, that does not give them a sympathy pass to be mean spirited, jealous, and hateful to the contrary. Again, it's my opinion.

I have to admit, I am honest with my answers here, but not as honest as I am in "real life". Some times I look at the questions and ppls answers to the questions and laugh at how "perfect" ppl seem to be.I feel I give good advice but I'm not going to sugar coat anything or try to smooth it over. A lot of time, if I feel I might hurt someones feelings, I simply don't even answer the question. I'm glad you brought that up though. I think you opened up a whole new world for mamapedia. Lol

In the case you mentioned, I absolutely WOULD do what I advised, which is let the other little girl go, because that kind of thing makes me feel good.

Would you see me in real life and go wow, there goes a saint? Absolutely not. But I do things for kids I wouldn't do for adults. And people don't always know of or see the good things people quietly do for others.

LOL Not in SoCal where we live! Hehehe just kidding.
I'm pretty lucky with my neighbors. Where we lived before (still in So Cal) we had horrible neighbors...everytime I would wake up to feed my baby in the middle of the night she would bang with a broom on her ceiling.
I try to be kind (maybe not as kind as I *should* be)...but I am far from perfect! ;)

It's where you live. :)

I love this question. I too am looking for you all in real life;0)

I usually respond with things "I wish I knew when...." or just based on my experience. I am far from perfect but do tend to be a perfectionist (so I get peeved when things don't go my way admittedly). I post my own questions too :) Sometimes we all need a little bit of insight and peer review!

Gosh I hope it wasn't me that said something like that. Anyway, I try to be nice outside all the time and am very perturbed by people who are mean without being provoked. I'm sooo sensitive.Next any answers I give on here are (I think there were quite a few because I wish to help people) usually based on my own experiences in life where I was actually quite hurt and needed to deal with it, or was making a bad choice and could see that the outcome of my bad choice helped someone else to be looking in a different direction.
I think so many women (myself included previously, but trying to change that) suffer from very big feelings of inadequacey. We don't feel beautiful, we don't feel smart even if we are and we want to glaze over a lot of things so there isn't a fight. Your question confused me a little, too because it discussed the fact that it didn't consider their own interest or feelings besides someone else's. Haven't a lot of women been trained inadvertently to do that? Hence the victim of an abuser who thinks it's her fault. We gloss over things, blame ourselves, brush it off because we think we are supposed to. So in my mind oftentimes the 'eye to eye'' mentality exists but as everhuman I find myself going into the world and doing exactly what is said here, trying to let it go. We are just so imperfect. But I am taking this to remind everyone of these moms and a few dads and perhaps friends. We are still beautiful if not perfect and worthy of love without being a doormat.

being an annnoynomous bystander it's very easy to pass out advice...I would say I'm not nearly as levelheaded in person as I am on here...but this is my annoynomous profile...I have another profile with mamapedia that my family checks...I like to use this one more...guess that says a lot for how "real" I am.

I like this post...it brings to light how judgemental this site can be, especially when people are usually looking for help.

I would also say that I try every day to be the best person, wife, mother I can be...I don't purposely act like jackass...but know that it happens.

I lived in LA for a while, and believe me, that's why!!!! :) I always say, it's amazing, because when I lived in the LA area, I was lucky to meet one in 20 people who was nice. And they were from out of town. Whereas since we've lived in various east coast locations, NYC and small towns alike, the rude people seem to be more of the exception. Rude people actually get put in their place by other people (especially in NYC)! Sure rude arrogant self centered chip on the shoulder eye for an eye grudge holding people are around (there are some snooty ones in a near by college town here), but most people are nice. And yeah, I give nice advice, and I also treat people nicely and teach my kids the same way.

I've had LA friends visit me here, and it's major culture shock to them when they see people being nice and friendly, even with nothing to GAIN. In other words, "so real" and not bragging and name dropping. They always comment on it.

We all come from different places, different walks of life, have different experiences. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, and it's a good thing to get ideas and share your own...and that's the point of this site, as far as I'm concerned.
As for the "let it go" stuff you mentioned: I spent YEARS being an extremely angry person. I was very angry, had a very short fuse, but my life went through a radical change and I went through a long journey of forgiving myself and others, with God's help. I realized through teachings at my church AND looking at my own life that unforgiveness, anger, taking offense, and pettiness are poison to the life you want. They are truly crippling to the way most people really want to be. Then I learned how to figure out how to not be a doormat and too passive (which also breeds anger, it just builds up). Now I've learned to be assertive and let myself be heard, but no need to get upset or aggressive.
If I answer a question about relationships, it's because now as an adult I REALLY admire the stuff my mom went through and how she tried to raise and provide for us. I had my share of amazing relationships and my share of some messed up situations that shouldn't even be called "relationships", and I'm sharing what I've learned either from myself or experiences I went through with friends. If I answer a question about something, it's because it's either a passion, hobby, interest, or something I've had a little experience with and have an opinion about. We learn from each other and encourage further development. That is what this is about, and if you want someone to reply ONLY if they agree with you, then say so in your post. Otherwise, people will answer as their opinions and experiences lead.
There are some amazing moms on here and I love hearing answers or gathering ideas for things I may not even respond to; I'll read a question, read the answers, and take away things I'd like to try or new ideas from it. YES there are selfless, gracious, kind-hearted people in the world. The "real" world is different for different people. Not sure if that's a geographical thing, or the result of one's own mindset and attitude, but even with the stuff I've been through, I know the world is full of awesome people, and I think I'm a pretty great person too.
And as long as we're gonna have a little gripe on this post, I find it interesting that some people get so condescending and judgemental about people thinking differently than they do, and deciding "wow that person is so condescending and judgemental". They do exactly what they're judging others for. It's silly.

I look at it like this:

It's so easy to say what you would do in a situation when you're standing outside looking and don't feel all the emotions, or have to deal any of the consequences. Do I always respond the way I suggest others on this site should respond? No. It's not because I'm two faced, ti's because I don't have to deal with any of that extra baggage.

I see you have a lot of responses but I haven't read them yet. No, I don't always live by the advice I give. Like sometime when parenting, do as I say not as I do. I do feel like I'm a kind person most of the time, if you ask my husband he'll disagree with that statement but through out my life a lot of people have told me that I am, I feel like I am. But I'm not perfect by any means nor try to convey to anyone that I am. I make mistakes, need advice, get mad at the driver in front of me, while I'm praying to God somedays.

I think people have great intentions but maybe don't take their own advice and make excuses because the other person has no idea how hard their own life is, the don't know the person I'm dealing with or they would feel just like me.

I must say when I lived in San Antonio, I ran across a LOT of very nice people. It really did surprise me how nice they are.

Your question was interesting to me, Mommyof2, because I have wondered the same thing. After a while, you get to know some of the people here and things they tell about themselves. And the shocker is when the things they say and the things they have done are SO divergent. A lot of "Do as a I say, and not as I have done in my own past", though they don't put it that way. During their judging tirades (and that's how I take them when I read them, sorry), they act like they don't remember that the very thing they are blasting some poor woman about is what they have done themselves. Yelling at a young mom for living with someone, yet they did the same thing themselves. Not keeping their marriage vows, but telling an UNMARRIED mother that she is wrong for having sex with anyone. Presuming to give advise about teens, but doing such a poor job with their own teens that they have created a rift in their relationships with them after they have grown up.

I admit that I shake my head and wonder why. I guess I'd understand if they prefaced it with "I made a mistake and this is why I think you should do it differently". But they don't and act judgmental instead. If I were in their shoes, I think that I would skip the question.

Dawn

I am leery of mamas who give advice but never ask questions like their lives are too perfect to have issues... smh

Yes, I'm perfect in real life, and blissfully married :) TO ME, but other people may not agree! My motto is to "keep it real", so I do and it's not always pretty. I'm also from OC and am VERY nice as long as you are not a fake superficial trainwreck...I don't toleratate that very well. I surround myself in truth and beauty, even though there is alot of ugliness and lies. Your question was perfectly legit, however, I do get irritated when there is a question that comes from "The Selfish"!