Motherhood started at a very early age for me. I am a 31 year old mother of three. Ages 11, 9, and 5. I currently resigned my job as an Educator to stay home with my children. I am well aware that staying home is a full-time job, and I commend all the mother's who are courageous enough to do it. But in the midst of my crazy, multitasking life I don't want to loose myself under all of the laundry, housechores and daily meals. I need to take control and determine myself to become what I am so very passionate about. Which is writing...I have been a writer since my childhood. I'd love to write columns, articles, an entire book someday. Or is this thee place to start? Should I make an attempt to realize my goals? I need some guidance, any ideas?
So 'get' what you have said here and would like to see the responses you get....
Best of luck to you...
K.
I am a mom and a writer. Both give me such happiness. Write every day, or at least every weekday. Soon, you will look forward to those 2 or 3 or 4 hours of the day as if they were a bubble bath / glass of wine / manicure all rolled into one.
Good luck.
(Also, for organizational help I recommend flylady.org and for writing inspiration I recommend Stephen King's "On Writing")
One thing I like to do is to turn problems on their head. In this case the q would be:
Should I give up on my goals? Should I avoid/give up what I feel passionately about?
Obvious answer. Um.... no. Work on your goals sweetie. ;)
Or were you asking whether or not you should start writing books before articles? Both have positives and negatives. Writing for publication varies, of course, depending on what type of publication your seeking, and what your goals are. Personally I published novels before articles & SS... but that's because I enjoy longer works better. Now a days I'm not writing for pub at all, because I don't have the time. ((And my editor would roll over in her grave if she read any of these online postings of mine... they are soooo bad. <grinning> like my use of the word soooo, or then & than, and about 1000 other really bad gaffs I make every day. But I don't have italics, and I'm just posting for fun (not to keep my muscles in condition) so I don't sweat it)). But I'm still writing, and I'll write for pub again. Most people, though, go in reverse order: write small (articles & SS), because it pays better, faster, and you learn more (because you have to be REALLY clear, and every word counts) than in a novel. It's also easier to 'tighten up" a SS or an A then it is to "tighten up" a novel.
Writing isn't a goal for me, however. It's just something I do. I've pub'd before, I will again. My *goals* I'm actually pursuing.
Absolutely, you should pursue writing. Yes, you are a mommy, but you are yourself too, and you need to hold on to that! Good luck!
I was/am a young mom also. I am 33 and my oldest will be 15 in december. I am not sure if it is because we started so young... but... we do lose ourself. I give you credit for realizing this and trying to fit in what you love. For me... i am just starting to realize that i need to focus on me too :) I have 4 daughters and am a SAHM. It is not easy to find time for my interests when i am so busy focusing on meals, cleaning, chauffering...like you said :( I wish you luck and happiness!
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I was/am a young mom also. I am 33 and my oldest will be 15 in december. I am not sure if it is because we started so young... but... we do lose ourself. I give you credit for realizing this and trying to fit in what you love. For me... i am just starting to realize that i need to focus on me too :) I have 4 daughters and am a SAHM. It is not easy to find time for my interests when i am so busy focusing on meals, cleaning, chauffering...like you said :( I wish you luck and happiness!
I've come across this site: www.demandstudios.com. They hire freelance writers. You can choose your topic and you can do this whenever you want. Good luck!
Treat your writing like a hobby until your kids are all grown and gone. While they are in school give yourself 1 hour a day to persue your hobby. Take week-ends off every 6 months to go on a retreat, maybe take a class 2X a year - you WILL have more time staying at home than you did teaching, but remember your obligations. Don't get all caught up in, ME! must not lose ME! After the first 2 were born, you were old enough to know what was going to happen when the third came along. None of your children asked to be born, you brought them into the world, you have the privlidge (sp?) and joy and obligation of taking care of them.
Absolutely not! Of course, you need to do things that feed your soul, in this case writing. If it were me, I would set a goal to sit down and write at least 15 minutes a day. I'd start with a journal that could be used in the future as the basis for articles, essays or even a book.
I also love writing and have been working away at a young adult novel, a chapter here, a chapter there, for nearly 2 years now. Will it ever be published? Probably not. But, I love that I do it. And maybe someday when my kids are gone (really, that's only 6 years away), I'll have the time and inclination to actually research publication. Right now, it's just soul food.
Good luck!
Just do it. Our children are important. But we don't have to hold their hand, play with them, and cart them from place to place every minute. They are never too young to learn that they need to entertain themselves and let mommy do what mommy wants and needs to do. If a mom puts so much time and energy into the kids that they never do anything personal with their own lives, how can we be a good example to our children to reach for their own dreams when they are older? Why wait either? Many very young children have managed to write, get published, and start all sorts of successful businesses at home as teens! I would venture to guess that the kids doing those things had great role models.
Hey J.,
It's never too late to pursue your dreams and congratulations on fulfilling the all important dream of staying home to raise your children. Thankfully, those children will give you volumes to write about. :)
My suggestion would be to take a course through your city's recreation department on book writing. I have seen a number of them in the various cities I have lived in. I have always wanted to take one, but never had the time. They might better be able to give you some advice on how to turn your dream into reality.
I would take a night course on creative writing at your local community college. They offer plenty of night classes/weekend classes and this could help you get into the groove of writing on a regular basis. After you commit yourself to this you can see if you are able to carve out the time that you *need* for writing on your own.
If you love to write, do it. Start a blog, write what you feel when you feel like it. Writing is such a great thing because you can do it anywhere and anytime. I say follow your dreams. Follow the advice the other moms gave about getting started.
I recently read an article about being selfish, and it talked about how sometimes you have to be a bit selfish and do something for yourself (in this case it was talking about training in a triathlon magazine), so that you can come back and give back to others, for work, family, etc. I know that without my training time I would not be able to function as well as a mother or person, everyone needs to do what they need to do.
You want to be a writer? Just write! You can write articles and get them published online, there are some fun places to blog that will get you started.
You don't need fancy classes. Heck, Stephenie Meyer sold millions and she's not even a good writer!
Just write. Start a story. Write an article. The more you write, the better you'll become at it. Once you find out what you want to write, then you can work on selling it. Get a Writer's Market book and start selling! You may end up with a lot of rejections in the beginning but that's how it works.
Just believe. And write!
Have you gotten your children to help you wisth some of the housekeeping what about your husband what is he dong when he is home? Dont give up on your writing good luck ia raised 4 and now hove 7 grandchildren A. no hillls
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HAVE YOU GOTTEN YOUR CHILDREN TO HELP YOU WISTH SOME OF THE HOUSEKEEPING WHAT ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND WHAT IS HE DONG WHEN HE IS HOME? DONT GIVE UP ON YOUR WRITING GOOD LUCK IA RAISED 4 AND NOW HOVE 7 GRANDCHILDREN A. NO HILLLS
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HAVE YOU GOTTEN YOUR CHILDREN TO HELP YOU WISTH SOME OF THE HOUSEKEEPING WHAT ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND WHAT IS HE DONG WHEN HE IS HOME? DONT GIVE UP ON YOUR WRITING GOOD LUCK IA RAISED 4 AND NOW HOVE 7 GRANDCHILDREN A. NO HILLLS
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HAVE YOU GOTTEN YOUR CHILDREN TO HELP YOU WISTH SOME OF THE HOUSEKEEPING WHAT ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND WHAT IS HE DONG WHEN HE IS HOME? DONT GIVE UP ON YOUR WRITING GOOD LUCK IA RAISED 4 AND NOW HOVE 7 GRANDCHILDREN A. NO HILLLS
If not now? When? I think you answered yourself when you said you need to take control and follow your passion. Give yourself "permission" to be "selfish" and pursue your writing, even if it's only 10 or 15 minutes a day. Parenting and all that goes with it does take a lot of time, but it doesn't have to take all your time. Find creative ways to schedule your writing, for example, set up the kids with a project or homework on one end of the table, and you sit and write at the other end (possibly they could also be writing their own stories). Or, when it comes to housework -- lower your standards!!! Sounds funny, but you really can leave the lunch dishes in the sink until dinner, etc. (see where I'm going with this?) Letting some the chores slip a little will help you "find" the time you need to write. Consider the time spent writing as a necessary mental health break :) Good luck!
absolutely! a mother is part of what you do but it isn't who you are. working at your passion will give you satisfaction (and frustration) and an amazing sense of self.
I understand completely what you mean, I have many friends who became mommies and suddenly lost their identities. I am determined not to let it happen to me! I work from home as an artist. I was an artist before I became pregnant and being a mother is not stopping me from my dreams and passion. in fact, it's wonderful! just think, you get the opportunity to be home with your children and see them grow - and work at your passion!
my little girl is only 4 months old so I still find it difficult to get as much studio time, but the great thing about this sort of career is that you can fit it around the other demands. try it slowly, maybe with a blog or something and build it up. there is so much you can do from your computer to create a wonderful creative career and it is just so fulfilling! go for it! :D
Figure out a time that you can make your own... any time that you can consistently take. It doesn't matter how long it is, just make sure you stick to it. For you it may be when your kids are in school for a couple of hours a few days a week or an hour each day- just figure out a schedule. My kids are still little, so my time is after they are in bed. I am an artist, and I find that if I go to long without creativity I am not as good of a mom (I get lost in the endless sea of chores that are never done and obsess about reaching an unattainable goal of the perfect house with a beautiful meal on the table at every meal with all homegrown organic produce from my own garden.... you get the idea). The point is, doing something you love actually energizes you and gives you fresh perspective, so do it! Just be realistic about how much time you can give yourself and try not to cut yourself or your responsibilities short. Look for contests to enter and just write what you want (like the book) or start a blog and look for whatever opportunities interest you. Good luck!
