Are Any Other Moms Sleep Sharing?

Well My oldest son slept with me till he was 7 yrs old. Which is when i ment my husband. My other babies slept with me off and on till about one years old then went to there own beds. My suggestion is do what you think is best also remember the bigger they are the more room they take and if they are a bed hog like my oldest son this could create problems.

HI-
I co-slept with my daughter for 7 weeks, but I am living with relatives and her crib was in the same room as where I slept so she only went across the room from me when I decided to stop. I just stuck her over there. I think sometimes its harder on us than it is on them! Good luck!

Hi T.

I'm in the same situation as you. My son is 16 months and sleeps with me. If you find a solution, please let me know.

T.

Hi T. - My son has been sleeping with me since he was very young...SOOOO much easier when you're breastfeeing. I'm a very light sleeper so I was never worried about rolling on him & always made sure no blankets or pillows were near his face to keep him safe. He just turned 1 & my husband & I decided it's best to start having him sleep in his room for at least part of the night...the transition took about 3 nights (the crying BREAKS YOUR HEART, but I only let him go for a little while at a time to let him know I didn't leave him...it's just time for sleepies) They're so smart & understand everything! My son now goes to bed by 8-9pm & sleeps in his room til about 2...then I get him & bring him to bed with me to breastfeed him & we both fall back to sleep. Don't let people pressure you...YOU'RE the mother & YOU decide what's best. I decided a long time ago that everyone has an opinion about your child & what they should and shouldn't be doing, but the only one that really matters is yours.

I say, as long as you're still enjoying it, keep on doing it! My daughter is 20 mo and we've coslept since birth. I'm waiting for her to be interested in her own bed; that's how most of the cosleepers with older children I know have done it. I can't imagine leaving her to cry by herself when we can be happy and snuggly together. A lot of times I put her down to sleep and then get up for a while and do whatever. It really keeps the spice in the marriage to have to be creative about "adult time." ;)

I know what you mean about the safety thing! It's so scary to think of all the fires, break-ins, middle of the night illnesses that could happen when you're not right next to them. :( Modern American culture is so weird. For thousands of years mamas slept with their babies, and now all of a sudden everyone's putting them behind a closed door in a crib and everyone thinks that's normal. ;) Just keep following your instincts, mama.

My little girl slept with me up to a few weeks ago--she just turned five. I don't listen to what anyone else says as they all say negative things or act like we can't have our "personal" time anywhere but our bed. My husband and I are closer because we both shared the same opinion (Our child's safety and security come first and that makes us respect each other). My little one felt safer, we felt we were there if something happened, we were there if she kicked the covers up, if she were sick, etc. When it came time to where we were going to put her in her bed (at five years), we took the time to explain to her. I don't mean sitting down once. It took over a month to explain and prepare her. We gave her a chance to tell us her fears, ask questions, etc. She did great from the first night on. She didn't cry at all. I left her big light on, and she decided the second night that she wanted it off and the bathroom light kept on instead (she's next to the bathroom). Last night she woke up to go potty. I asked her if she wanted to go in our room to sleep afterwards and she said no. She likes her bed. She's at the perfect age to understand and we didn't just shove her in there in a week. We gave her time to get used to the idea and prepare her.

In some cultures it is normal for the child to sleep with the parent's for the first five years. Over here, a lot of people are so negative about it. They actually would get rude making comment's about our "personal" life. I told them they were pretty narrow minded if they thought that's the only place you could do that. You only have your little one that size for a short time. They love you and depend on you. They look to you for security.

Ok, I never had my kids sleep in bed with me, because that's what worked for our family. The thing is this is your child! You love him and you will always do what you feel is best for him. If sleeping in bed with you is what works than do it. Dont worry about what other people say. It's not their kid! I cant stand it when people try to make a loving mother feel bad for descions she makes for her kids. You do what you feel is best, you're the mom that's your call.

It's kind of a family thing with me My mom did it my sister did it and i did it by 1o months my son was in his crib though full time and my sister let her boys sleep in bed with her until the oldest was 5 and the younger one was 2 and 1/2. he will very soon become dependant on sleeping with you if you don't set the limit soon if him being in another room is what bothers you put hte crib in your room until you are ok with it my son is 19 months now and sleeps in his room on the other end of the apartment by himself i have the monitor set up so i hear everything that goes on and if there is so much as a whimper on his end i am there. you can also get one of those new video monitors where you can see as well as hear what is going on so while your awake you can keep your eye on him and when you are not you will still hear him and if you want to check on him all you have to do is look at the monitor. He will be more comfortable with you now but as he gets used to sleeping alone that will fade and he will be more comfortable alone i still let my son sleep with me if he has a nightmare and he has a hard time sleeping in the bed with us now because he is used to sleeping alone.

We have recently transitioned our 13 month old to the crib in her own room. She is awaking in the middle of the night, but seems comfortable in the crib. I think you should move your child when you and he feel ready.

we cosleep. We started with him in our bed in a close and secure sleeper and then around 4mo we started transitioning him to sleep in the cradle next to our bed. He is almost 6mo now and spends the night in the cradle next to our bed and then spends 2-3hrs in the morning between us (no longer in the close and secure sleeper) before we get up for the day. I love co-sleeping. It allowed for all 3 of us to sleep better and i love to cuddle and smell him next to me. I think we will continue to co-sleep atleast for the 2-3hrs in the morning until he decides not to. We are going to start transitioning him to his crib for daytime naps this coming month and then for nights around 9mo, but I feel that since he is able to sleep most of the night in his cradle, it shouldn't be too difficult to transition to his crib in the nursery.....and we still get our morning cuddle time so we are both happy. Just remember to take baby steps with transition, and just have lots of patience :)
-J.

I do not allways sleep share with my daughter. I typically would put her down in her crib (in my room) at night before I would go to bed and when she would wake up I brought her into bed with me to sleep and eat. I find that she is comfortable both in bed with me and in her own crib. Now that she is waking up less at night she rarely sleeps with me. I don't know if it will help you or not but you may want to try puting your son to bed himself in his own bed but keep him in your room and allow him to join you if he wakes up. This may help make the transition easier.

Hi T.,

Check out www.meetup.com. They have different groups available in your area. Many are for the sole purpose of finding play groups for you and Aidan. I am a member of many of them. I am the organizer for the Delaware County Work From Home Parents Group.

Good Luck!
D. Agnew
Arbonne International
Indpendent Consultant

Hi T., I wouldn't worry about what other people say. If you are comfortable with your sleeping situation and so is everyone else in the house why worry about what might happen? Chances are soon enough your son will be old enough that he doesn't want to sleep in "mommy's bed" anymore. I can't offer any advice on how my child will sleep when she's older because she is only 3 months old, but we have had her in a co-sleeper next to our bed for most of the night and then in bed with us for a smaller portion of the night b/c I usually fall asleep while nursing her during her night feedings.
I say go with what feels right to you right now and don't worry about what might lie ahead. There's always strategies to break a bad habit later when the situation is no longer working for you. Just my two cents ;) Don't feel guilty about something you and your family enjoy if it is working for you!

Hello T. , i just wanted to say that my first son slept with me from the day he came home from the hospital...Family memeber warned me but it was just something that i wanted to do on my own...Well he is 5 now and finally in his own bed ...When he was 2 and i was pregnant again the bed got smaller..So what i had to do was bring his bed in my room right next to my bedside..Then weeks later i moved it to the bottom of my bed..We had some bad night but finally we moved it into his own room so it took me until he was 4...My second son is almost 21/2 and loves his own room i am so glad..There was times that i wanted him to be close to me just like my first son but he was so happy in his room and it was best for him...

Good luck to you and i think that it will be more easier for u since your little one is only 17 months...

HI T. , I FELT THE SAME WAY AS YOU.. MY DAUGHTER WAS A PREEMIE.. SHE WAS 3LBS WHEN I GOT TO BRING HER HOME . SHE WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY BED.. I WAS SOO WORRIED ABOUT HER WHEN SHE WAS IN HER OWN ROOM , THAT I COULDNT SLEEP SO I BROUGHT HER TO OUR BED . THEN IT BECAME THE ONLY PLACE SHE WOULD FALL ASLEEP AND SLEEP THRU THE NIGHT .THEN I GOT PREGNANT AGAIN WITH OUR SON WILL . WHEN I WAS 8 MONTHS PREGNANT IT BECAME REALLY HARD FOR ME TO SLEEP WITH HER IN THE BED , MY BELLY WAS JUST TOO BIG FOR THE THREE OF US TO SLEEP COMFORTABLE. SO I PUT HER IN HER OWN ROOM SHE WAS 17 MONTHS OLD. SHE HATED IT THE FIRST WEEK . I HAD TO LET HER SCREAM AND CRY HERSELF TO SLEEP . I WOULD JUST KEEP GOING IN THERE TO CHECK ON HER AND TO GIVE HER , HER SIPPY CUP (OF WATER) THEN I DECIDED TO PUT A TV IN THERE AND LET HER WATCH SESAME STREET OR TELATUBBIES AND IT WORKED SHE STOPPED CRYING AND WOULD FALL ASLEEP ON HER OWN WATCHING IT.. NOW SHE IS ALMOST THREE AND IS IN A TODDLER BED AND THE ONLY TIME SHE WILL GET UP OR CRY IS WHEN THE TV GOES OFF. SHE IS SCARED OF THE DARK AND WANTS ME TO TURN THE TV BACK ON. WHEN I HAD WILL I REFUSED TO PUT HIM IN OUR BED . HE SLEPT IN THE BASSINET NEXT TO OUR BED UNTIL HE WAS TOO BIG FOR IT AND THEN TO HIS OWN ROOM.. HE IS WONDERFUL .. HE SLEEPS THRU THE NIGHT EVERY NIGHT .. IT WILL BE HARD AT FIRST TO GET THEM OUT OF YOUR BED BUT SHOULD ONLY TAKE LIKE A WEEK TO DO SO . GOOD LUCK

Both of my daughters slept in our bed for the first few years of their lives and at around 2 years both expressed interest in being in their own beds. They are now 4 1/2 and 2 1/2 and usually start out in their own beds, but many nights find their way into our bed. We maintain a very open policy about bed sharing and want them to feel welcome in our bed if they should wake up during the night. I believe that if you make your children feel safe, they will eventually feel secure enough to be on their own.

I am very familiar with co sleeping my daughter has been sleeping with us for 1 1/2 years...The way it happened was i stayed with my mom when she was born and her crib was right next to the bed so when she would cry and wake up i would just stick her in bed with us because we both worked and we were sooo tired that it would be the only way we could get some sleep...we then moved out and she had her own room but would not sleep in her crib...finally about a couple of months ago since she is 2 1/2 now we got her a toddler bed, let her pick out the bed sheets and started out by laying on the floor next to her bed until she fell asleep....it took like 2 weeks then now all we have to do is make sure she has what she wants to sleep with in bed with her and tell her it night night time give her a kiss and leave the room....she does cry and wimper for a little while but its worth it...she only wakes if she has to pee or just wakes and crys ...we tell her to get back in bed and close her eyes and good back to sleep....then she don't wake up until we wake her up. I am just soooo happy to have my bed back...no kicking toddler. But she still takes naps in our bed cause it is easier to get her to go down thinking we are taking a nap too...and when she falls alseep i leave the room....her naps are almost two hours long.and she only gets one a day

It really wasn't that difficult to make the transition because, since she is 2 1/2 years old it was time she slept in her beautiful room by herself...oh we also got her a night light we leave on all night while she sleeps.

Trust me once he is in his own room and bed you will get better sleep. Now i am not against co sleeping as long as your careful.

Sorry i wrote sooo much!!!! lol

hey T. my name is K. L my daughter is now 3 and she is still sleeping with me and my husband. my husband yells at me all the time about having her in our bed but i felt the same way you do. but my suggestion to you is to get him into his own bed as soon as possible. i still to this day love her sleeping with us. like your son my daughter will sleep in her bed but i always wake up with her next to me.lol. i hope all goes well with trying to get him into his own bed. good luck

After my 13 month daughter falls asleep we put her in her bed but she ALWAYS wakes up screaming, I used to rock her back to sleep and put her back in her bed and of course 10 min. later she was screaming again, I would do this about 10-12 times a night and it got real tiring--its like she never got used to her bed-even after 10 months. Well one time I was so tired and I put her in bed with me she fell fastly asleep and slept for 7 hours cuddled up to me...it was great to have a full 7 hours of sleep at once, so now when she wakes up in her bed I just plop her in with me and sleep soundly, I feel more refreshed in the mornings. Don't let people tell you what you can and can not do with your child...you are their parent and you get to make up how you and they are going to live, my mother in law does not like that she sleeps in the bed with me, when we go visit them in PA she always has something to say, I just snap back that she is not familiar with this room or crib you put in here (its feels uncomfortable and its like 20 years old--if not more) so she keeps me up all night crying so leave me alone she felt safe with me and we actually got to sleep not up every 10 mins. I even asked her if she would like to get up every 10 mins. to console her and she said "no". I love my mother in law but goodness let a girl do what she wants when it come to my child!!! I hope in time Madison will sleep in her big girl bed but she is only 13 months so we will deal with that when she gets older, right now I'm having fun bonding with my baby and her learning her mommy is there to comfort her. Take care!!

i had all my children in Europe and cosleeping is much more widely accepted. it has benefits too as long as you aren't a drinker or smoker. My son slept with us for years and eventually he went to his own bed . My daughter never took to it and one of my 2yr old twins sleeps with us. It doesn't bother me although my husband is less fond of it. They will eventually choose to sleep on their own..

HELLO T.!
I HAVE TWO CHILDREN WHO ARE NOW 13 AND 8 I DID TAKE NAPS WITH BOTH OF THEM. IT IS HARD TO BREAK THE HABIT OF A CHILD SLEEPING IN THEIR OWN BED WHEN YOU START IT FROM BIRTH. HE WILL BE FINE IN HIS OWN BED. WHAT KIND OF TIME DO YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND HAVE WITH YOUR WITH YOUR CHILD IN THE BED? NIGHTIME IS PARENT DOWN TIME. THE SOONER YOU PUT HIM IN HIS OWN ROOM THE BETTER. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

hi i have 3 children ages 10,7,4 i went through this with all of them get him out of your bed why you can because the older they get the harder it is and they so depended on you they cant function alone it is good for him it took me 2 trys to get it right but my last one now 4 my only girl i got her out of the bed by age 2 which was pretty good but it is bet for your cild

Hi T.. My son started sleeping with me when he was about 2 yrs old. I was pregnant again and was trying to move him to a big boy bed and he kept waking up in the middle of the night. I brought him to bed with me to get some sleep. He is now 4 and we have moved him to his own bed. We started out staying in his room for about a week and then we would just stay until he fell asleep. He does still wake up and yell for us but it is slowing getting better.

So, to answer your question, do what works for you. It may be difficult for awhile when you move your son back to his room so you have to decide if it is worth it to have him with you now.

first of all, you did not get him into the habbit of sleeping with you after he was born. he was born with the "habit" ingrained in his little being. (where did he sleep for the 9 months prior to his birth??)

we've always co-slept with our kids. you have to kind of rethink the whole modern sleeping arrangment idea. we don't have a beautiful designer bedroom, we have a sleeping space for the whole family. we have a smaller bed right next to our queen and they are both pushed tight against the wall. my oldest slept in our bed exclusively till he was about 3 or 4(when his sister was born) and then he started sleeping in his own bed from time to time. he now chooses where he sleeps(he's 7 now). he'll start off in our bed and we'll carry him to either the couch or his bed(he prefers the couch?). my 3yo is still in our bed full time. i always lay down with them both in my bed when it's time to go to sleep. we all three enjoy that snuggle time and they are both comfortable and happy in there together. when i get up to let them go to sleep they will often talk or tell each other stories before they go to sleep, which i find very sweet. we just move the 7yo out when we come back in to bed.

co-sleeping is a very natural thing, and don't let anyone pressure you into doing something you're not comfortable with. you know your child and what's best for him. when it feels right, do it. they do move out eventually. oh, and my husband and i get plenty of alone time. ;)

Hello. My name is A., I have a 3 1/2 year old. He has been sleeping in our bed since he was about 10 months old. It all started when he was sick one night, and I felt more comfortable with him in my bed, so I could feel how warm he got through the night...and since then that has been where he slept, right between my husband and I. We have had a hard time with the transition, he will not sleep through the night in his bed. He wakes up and comes into our room crying..it breaks my heart. I would never tell anyone that sleep sharing isn't a good idea, many of my friends have to me it was. I, like you, feel better having him in our bed. The only problem is his bedtime, he needs us laying next to him to fall asleep. Hey they are only young once :)

My youngest son basically slept with us from birth until about 3 or 4 years old. He slept in his cradle beside the bed sometimes when he was an infant. I breastfed and alot of times we both just fell asleep when feeding in the middle of the night so it became easier. It was very hard to break though. It took a long time to convince him that he was a big boy and had his own bed. We had a crib for him, but he only slept in it a handful of times (when we tried to get him to sleep in his crib, even though it was in our room, he would cry "Mama, mama, don't leave me!!" break my heart!!). Most of the time if we got him to sleep in his room (on a twin sized bed or a love seat) at some point during the night he'd end up in bed with us. I really enjoyed snuggling with him when he was a baby but the older they get the harder it is to regain your privacy.

I've sleep shared with both my children. With my daughter (first born) I had family members and friends telling me to put her in her crib and let her cry herself to sleep. It would be better for her and for me, they told me. I tried it. She screamed until she puked. I got her cleaned up and the sheets changed and then I soothed her to sleep. My family and friends told me to try it again and if she threw up clean her up and try again. I did. She puked, I cleaned her up and put her to bed, she puked again. By the time I had her cleaned up and the bed cleaned up it was after 4 am. I rocked her to sleep. From that time on, I put her in bed with me and let her go to sleep. After a while of this, my husband got to the point that he would move her to her bed about an hour or so after she fell asleep when he came to bed. Now she will be 7 on November 8 and she goes to bed without any problems in her own bed. She has since she was about 3. Occassionally when she isn't feeling well, she climbs into bed with us. Her brother is 27 months. He still goes to sleep with Mommy but Daddy moves him like he did his sister. If he wakes up in the night, he climbs out of bed (a regular twin bed) and comes into our room where I check his pants and if they are dry put him in bed with us. If wet, change him and put him in bed with us. Most nights he sleeps through in his own bed. Some nights, if it is cold or my husband is out of town (not there to move him), he falls asleep with me and stays in our bed. He doesn't usually fight me over bedtime and feels safe in his bedroom and ours. My kids haven't had the bouts of nightmares that most kids have because they know Mommy is right there to keep them safe and take care of them if needed. As far as the transition to their own bed... it was fairly easy. As I said at first (like with my son now) when they wake up in the night, they come back to your bed but eventually you can send them to their own bed and they will lay down and go to sleep on their own. Good luck.

Hey T.,
My kids are 4 & 5 now, and they constantly still sleep with us. They have their own beds and their own rooms, but they still love to snuggle and feel "safe". My husband and I let both of our children sleep with us until they felt comfortable in their own rooms (with nightlights), and even then, they usually sleep together! As long as you're ok with it and you set aside time for your husband, there is no problem. My children know that we have private time and they should respect that. Good luck with your decision.

Hi T.,
My daughter was a year old and would not sleep in her own room she would cry all night if we let her. After only 2 nights of this my husband couldn't take it so he brought her whole bed in our room. This made it hard for us to have any quality time together. She is now four and isin't on any schedule. At night I have to stay up in the living room and watch television with her until she falls asleep and then carry her into her room. Still very little time for hubby because I am exhasted by the time she is asleep. For a couple of weeks she would get up and get in bed with us after she was asleep I would carry her back into her room. Then she started coming into our room and waking me up and asking me to come get in her bed with her. The past couple of nights have been great still falling asleep on the couch but after I take her to her room she has been sleeping through the night. If I could do this all over I would have never let her share our room. I suggest you brake the habbit now I know other mothers that I talk to at daycare still have their children sleeping in their room and one of the children is 8 years old. Good Luck. I will send you my email in a private message if you have any questions about the area I will be glad to help.
C.

Hi T.! I am a 35 year old mother of 3 (10, 7, & 2). All of my children have slept with my husband and I at some point. The oldest slept with us from the time she came home til she was about 8. She just was happier and slept better. My husband is military and was gone some...so she felt better with me. When her sister came along, the oldest didn't want to give up being "the baby". Her sister didn't want anything to do with sleeping with us until the first time Daddy went to Korea. Then she realized what was going on and it made her feel better too. She slept with us from 2 yrs until about 5 1/2. Neither of them wanted to go to their own beds...but when their brother came along....there wasn't much choice. Even a king size bed can be too small at some point! But like someone else mentioned, we transitioned them slowly over the 9 months. They started on the floor next to me....then at the bottom of the bed..then to their beds. When the baby came along, he was such a booger! He wouldn't sleep more than an hour by himself. With having to get up and get the other 2 ready for school, the only way I could sleep was to put him next to me. He would sleep through the night if he slept with me. He is 2 now and still in our bed. Some nights he will fall asleep before us and we will put him in his bed. But he will usually wake up within a few hours and come back in our room. The 2 older ones will still occassionally come back in our room. And there are nights that I just love having them all cuddled up next to me. There is something just so sweet about sleeping children.

Some one else mentioned that they will go when they are ready. At some point in time (be it 2 or 10) they will decide they are just too old to sleep with mom & dad. It won't be cool. And it may happen long before you are ready. Hold onto this time with them as long as you can. Ignore everyone who says it is wrong. I know plenty of kids who co-sleep and have turned out just fine.

I hope my comments will help you to feel better about your decision. Because it is your decision and you are the ONLY one who has to be comfortable with it.

My daughter slept in bed with me (or us depending on my husbands work hours). Don't listen to what others say if it works for your family that's what is important. When my daughter turned 3 we got her a big girl bed with Dora the explorer sheets. She would fall asleep with me on the couch and I put her in her bed. If she woke up she knew she could come in with me. I didn't pressure her and didn't want her to see her bed as a punishment or abandonment but as her special place. She is now 4 she now goes into her bed watches a movie before she goes to sleep and she still comes in with me at 5 or 6 am sometimes but I don't mind some cuddle time and she feels better knowing that if she really wants me I'm just down the hall. I never met a 16 year old who still slept with there parents so don't worry just let It happen when your family feels its time.

with my kids i had them sleep with me. i have an almost 2 month old and he sleeps with me. what my kids doctor told me to do was take ther matress and put is by our bed and let them sleep there and then after a few weeks move the mattress out and have a sleeping bag on the floor then after a few weeks remove the sleeping bag. it worked with my kids. but i always have a blanket and pillow by my bed for when they have nightmares or just want to be with us. my kids are 8,5,3,& almost 2 months

The best advise I can give about co-sleeping is:
1) If you co-sleep I believe you have to commit to it until the child is ready to move to solo sleeping. I feel like trouble begins if both parents(if it is a 2 parent household) are not in agreement about the issue and if you try to co sleep until YOU no longer want a child in bed with you instead of taking cues from your child. Don't star if you aren't up for a 3 or 4 year old in your bed, Of course you can try a transition to solo sleeping at any time but if your child's not ready it will not work and will most likely make sleep issue worse.A king sized bed really helps.

2)When it is time to begin to transition move your child from your bed to a futon on the floor of your room.You have to baby proof your bedroom when you try this but it really works great.

I have a 6 year old who was in bed with us until about 2 1/2, in our room until about 4 and now sleeps in his own bed/room. He loves to get in bed w/ us in the morning for an hour or so but seems very happy with his own bed. I also have a 1 year old who was 9 weeks premature and has been in our bed since he came home from the hospital. Good Luck.

Hi T.,

My son is 2 and 1/2 and is still sleep sharing. I have not found many resources which deal with the transition to his own bed. We are very happy with the situation, though my partner and I don't get a lot of 'alone time'. He shows some interest in sleeping in his own bed, but when we do it, he sleeps for a couple of hours and then wakes up and wants me there with him. He is willing to go back to sleep in his own bed but wants company to go back to sleep since he is used to snuggling. We also feel pressure from others to get him to his own bed and people claim he will be more independant if we do that, but I don't believe it.

Hi T.--my oldest--now 22 was ill quite frequently starting 10 days after birth--it was very difficult to get her to sleep in her own crib/bed. My twins (now 18) were born when she was almost 4--they never had a problem sleeping in their cribs/beds. Every child is different. If it makes you feel any better--my girls still sleep w/me when my husband is away (been re-married 8 yrs). My oldest slept over sometimes when she was pregnant and one of the most memorable motherhood experiences was when she slept next to me at 8 months--she was very frightened (age 17) and she asked me to hold her around her tummy. I felt my awesome grandson moving--what a blessing. How many kids this age are close enough w/their mom to want to snuggle--if your husband is fine w/this and you are both comfortable w/your intimacy time, then no problem. In Scandinavia it is quite common to have a communal bed--so hey--you are very international in your child rearing approach!! PS--my grandson--now 4.5--sleeps w/me when he stays every Monday/Tuesday--I had bought him his own cool futon and decorated a room for him--he complains about my snoring--I say--you have your own bed--he insists on being w/me and snuggling--PRICELESS and I didn't have to use a charge card to get him.

J.

As long as your boyfriend/husband is okay with him sleeping in bed with you I'd say screw everybody else. I'd understand if you wanted to move your son to another room if your husband wanted to as well but it's nobody else's business.

I am a mother of 3, and all of my children except for the newest has always slept in my bed. My 4 yr old slept w/ us until she was 2 1/2 years old, and my 2 year old slept w/ us until a couple months ago. The transition was very easy. They wanted to sleep in their own rooms, and not w/ mommy anymore. I feel that where ever the child is the most comfotable is where they should sleep. I never listened to anyone about my children sleeping with us, and neither should you. They are only little for so long, love them now before they get older. They will sleep in their own rooms when they are ready, but that doesn't always mean that you will be...lol..
C.

You are correct when you say,(I personally), because that is your personal decision. I however did co-sleep till my daughter was 4 weeks old, then she developed a cold, I then tranitioned her to the car seat as per doctor suggestion,and that is another story in itself.LOL. I would have personally prob co-slept longer if she wouldnt have gotten a cold. I personally see nothing wrong with co-sleeping, but there comes a time in a child and mothers sleep habit, that we need to have our bed back, and they need to learn to sleep by themselves. it all depends on the family on what age they feel is the right age. My friend has a 31 # 11month old, and he still sleeps with them. They as in the parents sleep better knowing there child is with them. How you feel in regards to that is your personal business, and please do not feel pressured to do it anyone elses way until you are ready to do it. It can be very difficult to transition a baby into the crib after being so comfortable in your arms. I say it can be...that is not always the case, but it took me weeks to go from car seat to crib...It was awlful...for me more so than for her....Sometimes it only takes days, and sometimes it takes alot longer....You have to do what you feel it right. you are his mother and you know him better than anyone. Good luck, and I hope that i have been of some help.

I have my 8 month old, Hannah, in bed with me, but not my poor husband!! We got pregnant on our honeymoon 4 years ago and the bigger I got, the more he had to find another place to sleep. Then when my Bethany came, I just found it easier to share the bed with her because I was breastfeeding and wouldn't have to get up over & over. My husband was still moving from room to room, trying to get comfy. (He snores A LOT, too. & that would keep both the baby & me awake)
He took our sons on vacation for a week when she was 14 months old. I used that time to put her in her crib. The first night, she cried for 45 minutes, the ____@____.com did pretty well until the "monsters" came about a year later. She's now 3, and goes to bed in her room every night, but will climb in with me or Daddy (wherever he may be. lol.) in the middle of the night. I'm kinda ready for my little one to sleep on her own because the guilt is really setting in about my husband. (you can imagine the strain on our relationship) but I'm not sure if she'll understand like Beth did because she was older. I do love cuddling the babies, though! Good Luck!

Hi! I have a six month old and we co-sleep. I am not sure if I can offer a lot of advise other than just relax. If you are ok with it and he is happier than why not co-sleep. Stop listening to other people- you are the best expert on your child. There is a great book called Our babies, ourselves that really helped me understand a couple things about co-sleeping 1) we are one of the few cultures that do not co-sleep and probably one of the first cultures in history to have seperate sleeping rooms and 2) babies may very well be hard-wired biologically to sleep better with others and 3) there are a lot of ways to raise a child. Hope that helps.

K.

T.,
First of all, don't let other people pressure you into making decisions. Aidan is YOUR son and ultimately, you know what is best for your family.

My oldest son (now 6) slept with me until he was about 9 months old. He is a 'busy' sleeper, constantly kicking, grinding his teeth and talking in his sleep. I ended up putting him in his own bed so I could get some sleep. I started off by putting him in his, checking him every few minutes until he went to sleep. If he woke up during the night, I'd put him in bed with me. After a couple weeks, he was sleeping on his own 90% of the time. To this day, he will still crawl in bed with me in the middle of the night occasionally.

With my youngest, (now 7 months) I put him in his own bed around 4 months. He is a very light sleeper, so every time my husband or I rolled over or moved, the baby would wake up. He still gets up at least once most nights. I bring him to my bed long enough to nurse him and put him right back in his crib when he's done. He has a favorite 'blankie' that he cuddles and goes right to sleep as soon as I lay him down.

I know it's very comforting having the baby right next to you. I loved having my children next to me and wouldn't hesitate to do it again. The only negative thing I can think of: I slept on my dad's chest until I was almost 8 years old! My parents would put me in my own room and by morning I would be laying on dad's chest again. It got to the point that if he worked the night shift or was away from home, I wouldn't sleep without him.

You do what is best for your family! If other people have problems with it... TOUGH NOOGIES! You and your son will both sleep better if you're comfortable where you are!

T.

P.S. I just saw some other posts expressing concern over your sex life, or lack thereof. I would like to comment that we live in a time and place where you can make love outside the bedroom and *gasp* even during the daylight!

I say let it alone. If you love having him with you and he does not have a problem with it, than I think it's just fine. My daughter is now 5 years old and untill the age of 3 she slept with me in my bed. Now, I'm not going to tell you that the transition from my bed to hers was easy, but after a while she did learn to sleep in her own bed. I just think of it this way...They grow up sooo fast. One day you will blink and they will not need you as much (being that they will grow up and become more independent). Why not charish the moments you have with your baby? Don't worry about what others say! They are not dealing with your situation.
Best of luck!

my daughter is 4 and her dad recently moved to new york unexpectedly. he was the only person who ever watched her, he was a stay at home dad pretty much while i worked. when he left she slept in bed with me a lot, every night... i eventually started putting her in her bed about 30 min after she fell asleep. just so i would have some time to myself to sleep also. she used to come over to my room at about 3am every day again so i left her go then. eventually she stopped coming back to my room and now she sleeps in her own room now most of the time. on the weekends we all sleep downstairs...it's our sleepover time, it seems to work out great and i am finally getting more sleep. it worked for me, maybe it'll work for you, it took me about 6 months to get everything better..at least starting to so it's not something that will go away quickly but dont worry, it will.

T.;

I have a 3yo daughter who still sleeps with my husband and I.
I work 2nd shift (4pm-12am) and when my daughter was about 10mos. I would bring her in the bed with us, if she had woken up when I would come home from work. So to save time and sleep deprivation, I would let her sleep with us. I didn't care what anyone had said about it. I look at it as though they are only little once, and there is going to come a day when they are not going to want you around anymore. So please relax and enjoy this short time in her and your life, because she isn't going to sleep with you forever!!!!! Enjoy you daughter!

Chris D.

Hi T.. I personally do not like the idea of my kids sleeping in my bed.... or my room... But that's me and to each his own. both my kids had reflux so they had to sleep in their infant seats and at first i would sleep on the couch/bed and have them in their seats next to me on the floor so i could nurse during the night... but after a few weeks we put the seat right into the crib and eventually out of the seat to lay in the crib.... anyway, if he will sleep in his own bed but you like him in your room have you ever tried moving his bed (assuming it's a toddler bed) into your room next to your bed? Just a thought. Good luck with whatever you try and don't let anyone pressure you. Go with your heart!

My son is now 3 (well, 39 months to be exact) and he slept with us every night until he was around 2-1/2, I think. It finally got to the point that I wasn't sleeping well with toddler feet in my throat.

We made a big deal about going out to get a "big boy bed" and let our son jump on all of them before choosing his favorite. We set up his room right next to ours, and it took about a month to transition him to his own bed. Now he sleeps there with no problems and even goes to sleep better than he did in our bed.

The thing that I found, though, is that I missed having him in our bed, so we have a pretty open shared bed policy. The door between our rooms is left open, so if he wakes up and is scared from a dream, or just misses us, he can come in and get into bed with us as long as he doesn't wake us up. There are also nights I check on him and he's so sweet and peaceful that I pick him up and tuck him into bed with us because I miss him!

We've also started having special nights where we will watch a video of his choosing, staying up a little later than his normal bedtime of 7:30, then we'll all go to bed in the big bed. It's a treat for him and makes us all closer as a family. I'm a sucker for tradition so hopefully these sorts of things will be fond memories as he grows up.

Anyone who is not yourself, your husband, or your child should just keep their mouths shut about your sleeping arrangements. I'm of the opinion that children who don't want to leave their parents' bed often have insecurities that are linked to more than just where they sleep. If your son is a happy, confident, well-loved child, he will be able to transition to his own bed whenever the time is right. When is the time right? Whenever you think it is. Cosleeping has to be a positive thing for all involved, so I'd say just keep going until someone needs a change!

Hi T., each of my birth's I've allways kept baby in bed with us.your rite they do grow fast(lol)each of my kids stayed in our bed untill they were atleast 3-4 yrs of age. Then I would take him to his new bed in his bigger brother's room,where they mostly play& scream & start chasing each other around the house.They'll come back & forth in mommys room every 15 min or so,climb back in mommys bed,fall alseep,daddy carry him back to his room with brother. He cried a little bit then I got a nice fun bright nite-lite for their room & hallway,so he could see my room very clear if he needed me. I won't lie it took about a good 2-3 weeks befor he would stop comming back & forth the whole nite in mommys room,but i would just pick himup,kiss him and say lets go to your bed where I'd stay for a short while to read a few pages of his book,or a favorite cartoon or video intill he dozed off and i sneek out of their room. although his brother was in the room with him he still wanted mommy! but we took it all in stride,no stressin,it was actually kinda sad& funny at the same time.I admit I had a harder time letting go than he did,but I didn't show it.(lol) As far as the other people,just don't bring up the sleeping convers, if they bring it up you can just say when the time comes you'll know. You could also tell them nicely/jokingly to mind their business about your baby and how you decide to do things your own way,and tell them you don't want to talk about it again,say this convers is over, don't worry about it, now what did you come for?or what did you call for? again with your nice,joking,laughfy way.They'll get the hint & stop questioning you,trust me this will work.People used to say the same to me about my first child,so I learned with time and experience and reading peoples expressions on the face.by the way I just turned 43yrs wise & mother of 5& married for 23 yrs. Trust!you do live&learn(lol)hope this was helpful,everything doesn't work for everybody(remember that).