Appropriate Punishment (If Any)

:You don't order a book to replace the one lost. You tell the library it was lost and pay them. I know this from experience. I've lost a couple of books over the years. The probably won't accept another book. The book has to go thru a process within the library and they're not set up for accepting books from patrons.

I also suggest that at 5, the parent holds some responsibility for keeping track of books. I suggest that losing a book is no big deal and not worth punishment. It is a learning experience as you've decided. I'm glad you made that decision.

Appropriate would be to make her look for the book everywhere in her room.
With a 5 year old YOU should be responsible for not loosing her library books. I don't think you can expect that from a five year old.

Good luck.

Um - I lost my Kindle last week. Took me a week to find it. My husband did NOT punish me. I would not punish her. I would brainstorm with her to make a plan so it does not happen again. Ask her input - where should we read library books? should we have a place they go as soon as we are done reading? where should that be?

No, you don't "hold her accountable," she's 5. Adults lose things too. And grounding her from a library is not a good idea.

Glad you decided to chalk it up to a learning experience. We all lose things at times. Heck, I ended up having to pay for the last library book I checked out because I lost it!

Kudos to you for encouraging reading and taking her to the library!

Personally, when my daughter was 5, I let her think she was responsible for things like library books, but ultimately I was aware that it was MY responsibility to take care of and return the book. I don't think punishment or making her figure out how to repay the library for the book is the right choice.

I think you talk to her and show her through YOUR behavior HOW to keep up with things like that. Don't let her take the books where ever/whenever she wants to around the house or car. Check them out, then let her have them in the car if you want. When you exit the car at home, you talk to her about where you will put the books and when they have to be returned to the library. Have a "library book spot" at home, so that they are always put there instead of willy nilly laying around. Take concrete steps to demonstrate HOW you care for property that belongs to others.

So yes, cut her some slack. But don't just ignore how you ended up in the situation to begin with. Lost things happens. Take steps in advance to PLAN how to avoid it happening again. Don't ground her from the library, ground her from total free access to the books in YOUR care.... she is only 5. That may be a bit more responsibility than she is ready for on her own yet...

Well, I lost (I seriously don't know how) a library book a few months ago.

If this incident was the exception, and not the rule...cut her some slack. Things happen, especially to children who have only been on the earth 5 years. A nice talk about how losing books effects everyone at the library, would be appropriate. And, I think that's good enough,

No punishment as she is only 5. Just discuss it with her (responsibility &
being responsible for borrowed items. Library or otherwise.)

In her defense, I am a very responsible person, left my library book out on
the patio. We had a freak rain & the book was ruined. (I honestly
confessed to the librarian and it cost me an arm & a leg to have it
replaced. They would not let me buy the book on my own & furnish it to
them to re-stock their shelves. I was so mad at my self.)

The library won't take the book you purchased.

They will charge you anyway and just know.....it's expensive. In addition
to to the cost of the book they charge you a re-stocking/ordering fee.

In my house, when we lose books, I sort of think of it as my fault, because I haul them all around, we have so many, etc. My oldest is six and I've never felt "she" lost a book. I would never ground her from the library. If anything, if she loses books too many times, I MIGHT teach her they are her responsibility, explain the fees, give her an allowance, let her pay the fee....but honestly, I'd let it slide for library books at five. You don't want to stress such a positive place unless she is just super careless with the books on purpose or something. Just let her know we need to be careful with the books, and see how she does.

No, she is 5 and it is your job to keep up with the borrowed items. They are in your house somewhere more than likely. She needs you to find it. She is only 5 and does not have the cognitive ability to think like an adult and she literally has no idea where it could be.

I kept all the library books in one place. I didn't want to be hunting for them when it was time to go to the library.

If you have looked all over for this book then it needs to be paid for but I would make sure to look under every bed, between the mattress and box springs, in the closet, under the couch, in the kitchen, heck, I'd probably even look in the fridge. I found my liquid dish detergent in there one time, a book in there could happen too.

Finding the book could be made into a game. Let her enjoy looking. This is teaching her how to look for a lost item in the future. She needs a lot of time and success to be able to learn how to find stuff properly. It takes time and patience.

Wow!!!
Instead of ordering a new book or punishing her you should have HELPED her look for the book. My youngest is 21 and when he says "I looked for it", I know there is a huge difference between his defination of 'looking for something' and my defination of 'looking for something'.

She is a child -- cut her some slack and let her be a child.

Just thought I'd chime in too...my six year-old son checks out lots of books from the library too. I feel it's my responsibility to be sure they get back...he's only six. However we do have a rule....library books do not leave the house until it's time to return them.

She is only five, and we ALL lose things from time to time.
Use this as a lesson on keeping track of things. We had a basket on the kitchen table for "school stuff" (notices, homework, permission slips, etc.) and that's where the library books went too.
Work with her, help her and teach her, don't punish her :(

She is 5 cut her some slack. And mommy at 5 you should have been the one keeping track of that yes? Positive reinforcement would work better because you do not want her to loose interest in reading

just buy a new one, shes only 5... i would have her make a special box to put her books that she takes out from the library.. give her a box youre not using (or plastic container even), let her decorate it.. color it paint it ,write the word books on it, so now she will have a special place to keep them and they wont get lost

Jsut thought I would bring out a suggestion. Make sure she knows what the consequence is but don't make it a punishment. She is 5, as other's have mentioned. One thing that helped my kids when they were little is having a special place for library books. We first tried to make it near other books we had but then they got mixed in. Hated having to go through every book for 1. Then we made it so we had a desk tray near my computer or in the kitchen on the side. In my case, we have a built in china cabinet. We put the tray there and they would put their books in the tray when they were not reading them. I also made sure they had special book marks to mark their page. It really helped and made them feel responsible. I did not have to tell them to find their books.

I'm a little late to the party. I say, if this is a common thing, punishment (i.e.. not library for a while) is appropriate.

If she is normally really responsible and this was unusual for her then let it slide.

My daughter is four. She continuously has been poring her juice into other cups, in which half of it ends up on the floor. We have told her NOT to do this on several occasions and have removed all the cups but one for her. Today she found some cupcake liners (yes the paper ones) and poured her juice into them, which resulted in a huge mess. So as punishment she is not allowed to drink juice for the rest of the day. Only water.

I don't think age is the question. I think it's the repetitiveness of the situation.

If you think she did something deliberate to lose the book, then I think a punishment is appropriate. That would mean things like repeatedly not putting toys/books away, bring things in the car or other people's houses when you tell her not to. But if it wasn't one of those things - then it's just a normal part of life to lose things. The book is somewhere in your house and you (or she) will find it eventually. I have two five year old girls and we have lost one library book as well... and other than making them turn the house upside down with me, there were no consequences. After all... I have no idea where it is so I can't blame anyone - them or me!

Cut her some slack....it happens to the best of us mature adults ;)

Cut her some slack. Find out what the policy at the library is and see if there is a time limit you can keep looking for it before you have to reimburse them.

I accidentally damaged a book last year, and books are practically holy for me so I was MORTIFIED. If she loves to read, it'll make her sad that she lost it. Work with her to come up with a way to keep them safe and findable. :)

I would explain to her that the books in the library belong to the community. By losing one she hurt the community and she needs to find a way to make it up (volunteer) to the community. See if she comes up with anything, if not have a few suggestions that are age appropriate. An hour of picking up litter at the park or visiting senors and at rest home. It's not a punishment as much as a making it right.

Don't ground her from the library! Don't, please, whatever you do.

It really just sounds like she made an honest mistake. You know how 3-year-olds, even if they're fully potty trained, will have "accidents"? Losing things is a 5-year-old accident.

What I'd advise is that you give her a chance to "earn" the money to pay for the book. If the book costs, say, $20, give her five jobs to do around the house, valued at $4 each. She won't really be earning the money, of course, but she'll be learning accountability in a constructive way. And maybe working on her math skills, too.

I wouldn't hold her responsible. She is only 5. But I would start a system that allows her to learn being responsible for the books. With my boys I always had them get a predetermined amount of books and movies. Usually we got 5 books and 2 movies. So they always knew how many they have. We then had a designed bookshelf for the library items and they were supposed to put everything on that shelf. It worked most of the time, but not always.

We still lost an items once. We paid for it at the library and they told us that if we find it within 60 days we would get the money back. We did find it. It was trapped between the cushions of the car seat that I had taken out of the van to make storage room. Also, not finding a library books was usually an excellent incentive to have them clean up their rooms.