"Anyone Have Kids in College Dorms"

My sister and Brother went to UCSB and both lived at Francisco Torres it was fabulous. I use to visit them it was a great place.

Hi M.,
First of all, congratulations! UCSB is a fantastic school, my oldest son graduated from there in 4 years and enjoyed every minute of his time at UCSB. I also have a son and a daughter that recently graduated from Chico State and had equally wonderful experiences! Each of them lived on campus in the dorms for the first year. Despite my protests ("you have the rest of your life to grocery shop, cook, etc... why not stay in the dorms longer?"), they each moved out into an apartment with friends they'd made after the first year. To my surprise, they managed to cook, clean, grocery shop and budget! I did listen to the chancellor at UCSB, who suggested strongly that we parents shouldn't let them come home for the first visit until Thanksgiving. It seemed like a long time, but he was right in that it really forces them to make friends, fill up their free time, and concentrate on separating from us and we from them. It was a great suggestion, though hard to follow at times - but I learned to let go and they learned to fly solo! Good luck to you and your daughter and congratulations again :)
T.
(Mother of a Son 27, Son 25, Daughter 23, Son 14, Son 13)

I don't have kids in college yet, but I went to UCSB many moons ago, and stayed in the dorms my first year. My dad couldn't believe that at 18, I was living in ocean-front property!

It was such a wonderful time. I had a blast, and loved every minute of it. Your daughter is in for a real treat, as are you when you visit!

Not sure what advice to offer, other than to have a great time, and get involved in activities. Study hard, but make sure to remember that the college experience is so much more than straight A's (my mom told me that when I went off to college, so I think it's appropriate advice).

-K.

My son is in his first year at Chico State, and is in the dorm. What tips are you looking for exactly?

He's loving it, but apparently most kids don't stay in the dorms their second year, so he and some other boys have already reserved an apartment for next year.

I'm sure a girl's experience will be quite different from a boys -- it seems like just about all of the boys in the dorms are video game addicts so they spend most of their free time doing that. I guess it beats getting wasted as an activity. Girls will probably find a few more productive things to do.

She should have a blast at UCSB, I know a few people who went there and Santa Barbara's a great college town. My daughter may join your daughter there in a couple of years -- I'm going to sway her choice towards UCSB as I think it will be the perfect place for her. -Page

My oldest is at UCSC and the dorms there are totally different from anything I've seen before, because each has a theme that's related to the student's major or interests, so birds of a feather end up flocking together by design. My daughter loves it. I went to UCSB and lived in the dorms for two years. I'm sure a lot has changed since then, but I ended up in a single room by default and felt very isolated. I wouldn't recommend it. Expect that your daughter will only be in the dorms for one year or maybe two. Most kids head to IV and apartment life as soon as they can find roommates and a place to live--note that living closer to the beach means more party action and higher rent.

One bit of advice that I would pass on to families with children away at school. Find a family doctor or internist for your child in the local community. Have your child make and keep an appointment to meet the doctor and have copies of their medical records sent to the new doctor's office. If they become ill they will have a doctor to call. Do not rely on student health at the college.

I have two who are out and one who is currently in a dorm. You meet a lot of people that you may end up with as friends for life or may not care for after a short while. It helps to fill out the profile form that helps the school in the selection process of your dorm mate. If you are christian for instance, they will match that affiliation. Its a drag to have a kid who is studious matched with a partyer. My last kid is going in next year, and for the first time I have a child who will hopefully be living with his pal from high school. This is of course the best case scenario because they are starting off knowing someone and can piggy back onto each other for meeting people with common interests.

Another thing is girls love to decorate their rooms. There is a balance here...don't get sucked into too large an expenditure for that. The kids can find all sorts of free stuff on Craig's list or even throw outs at the end of the year from other kid's rooms.

UCSB is a big party school, but there are also great kids there who are into school...it all depends on who you hook up with. Encourage your daughter to take a little time to consider who her friends will be. The pressure is on to just go along with the flow in her dorm...but rivers tend to flow downstream and she can end up in the gutter. Its better to be lonely for a month or so and find what she really likes than to end up in the neighborhood and not remember much of the night before.

Each dorm has a 'rep'. Talk to the kids and find out which one fits your daughter. Some will be known for partying and others as study dorms, etc. Some will house the artists, others the engineers. Good hunting! Ev

I went to UCSB (graduated in '01) - such an awesome experience! Your daughter will learn how to be responsible for herself, and what it takes to actually care for herself. UCSB is a great school with a perfectly balanced environment for learning and socialization. She will have the best time of her life!

Stay in touch with them !!! They miss home lots more than they let on. Make sure they are OK, emotionally as well as physically. Have as much contact with them and know what's going on. Also, Let them open up to you and don't act shocked if you hear something that you don't want to hear. Stay cool and put on a neutral face. "Oh, really," "That's interesting" and "What do you think about that?" are good lines to have. Good luck!

I went to college in Indiana, and let me tell you that the first quarter will be the hardest. Don't let her come home for the first quarter and you guys can't go visit. Feel free to send carepackages though because EVERY college kid loves to get those... specially with cookies! This will help her get over the homesickness faster. Those who come home in the first quarter are at a higher chance of wanting to not return. Oh and if the walls are cinder block like the ones that i had... hot glue from a glue gun will get those posters to stick. That sticky putty stuff doesn't work!