Any Advice on How to Stop Your Child from Biting

Both of my kids were biters. They just did not stop until they were past that developmental stage. It sucked. Sorry no advice other than, it really stunk.

BTW I think I may have tried the old, bite em back theory. No luck. They just bit anyway.

Well I absolutely disagree with showing your kid how it hurts by biting him back!

I used the method others mentioned of showing not much emotion (you want to avoid giving an interesting reaction and even angry yelling or stern response is interesting), stating the rule "we don't bite" and putting her down. I didn't walk away and ignore her, and would pick her right back up again if she wanted but if she bit again, I did the same thing. At that age they are capable of understanding. I would also remind her what she could bite. "Teeth are for food" or ask "would you like something to chew on?" And give her a teething toy or piece of food.

I generally followed the advice of if you make a big deal of it by your reaction it sends the message that it is something very important so they will often keep doing it. That approach has generally worked for my DD.

Both my kids went through biting phases. I agree with the other poster who said to calmly say "no biting" (can be difficult when they bite you, those tiny teeth are sharp!) and stop playing with/holding them for a short period of time.

One other thing - my 18mo often bites when his teeth are hurting - if I give him teething tablets he stops. So if your daughter is teething that might stop the problem also.

I know this is going to sound horrible but the only thing that worked for my son was to actually bite him back. My doctor said that he just didn't understand the us when we told him that he hurt us...he needed to be shown. I hated to have to do it but after he bit me because he got excited I knew that I really had to choice. I applied just enough pressure for him to understand what he was doing to everyone else! It stopped that day! He has bitten his older brother a couple of times when they are wrestling but he is always teething with his 2 year molors at the same time. As bad as it sounds to bit your own child it worked for me!

I think all kids do this, it's one of 'those phases'. I found the best thing to do was to react normally (a little shocked), then as calmly as possible say "We do not bite" and put her down and walk away. They really don't like to be ignored, and they need to know if they behave that way you won't give her any attention.

I also used to say things like "That hurts mommy, we only use our teeth to eat and smile". But always in a calm way. If you give them a big reaction and yell or make too big of a deal they'll keep doing it to get the attention.

Good luck, I'm sure she'll get through this soon!
B.

Hi L.,

I have mixed feelings on the "bite 'em back" theory. I have seen it in practice (with, I hate to say it, my husband *gulp*) and sometimes it does work. HOW it works, though, is what concerns me: when it is successful, it works by instilling fear into the child and associating Mom/Dad/Whoever with pain. Sometimes it is just a temporary solution (esp. with very little ones), and sometimes it actually does the reverse: baby bites, Mom/Dad shows EXTREME attention with a big painful bite, baby remembers next time that "When I bite, Mom/Dad will get all upset and pay lots of attention to me!" Bad attention is better than no attention.

I know it is hard but you just have to be firm and say either "No bite!" or, if you want to stay positive, "Kelsey! We only bite food!" It could be tough for a while, but just like everything else it will pass. (Don't be surprised, though, if it suddenly returns from time to time...my youngest is 3 yrs. 5 mos. and he just started biting his brother again in self-defense!)

Good luck and remember to offer plenty of good crunchy foods and chew toys to bite :)

--M.

I am with Jen sorry ladies!!! When my daughter was that age she would bite me, boy did it hurt!! So I bit her back just so she could feel it. Never bit again. Now she is a healthy 22 year old who does not bite. ;)

I am not sure how to stop the biting, but I wonder whether your daughter is a late talker. Biting (and hitting and pushing, which is what I experienced with my older son around that age) for no apparent reason can be signs of frustration at not being able to communicate. It is not necessarily a result of any personal affront caused by the recipient. My son didn't really start talking (other than a few words here and there that he didn't repeat consistently) until 2 1/2, and we had to deal with a couple of weeks of pushing and hitting before that. It was incredibly frustrating because nothing we did seemed to make a difference. Time outs, taking away favorite toys, talking to him, light spankings, nothing worked. When I finally learned the probable cause, it didn't help me to stop the benavior (I just kept him away from other kids as much as possible -- it was that bad), but it did help me to understand what he was going through and be less frustrated with his behavior. When we saw a language explosion a couple of weeks after the hitting and pushing began, this undesirable behavior abruptly stopped.

So the issue might be something else entirely with your daughter, but I mention this in case it applies. If it doesn't apply, then maybe there is some other frustration that is bottling up and coming out as biting.