Another MIL Question....

I would let it go there is a lot more important things in life than resentment. If it really bothers you and you can not let it go than tell her specifically that it bothers you maybe she is not getting the hint. Never leave room for interpretation.

You know, a wise friend once told me "life is 10% what happens to you, 90% how you react to it" (it's a quote by John Maxwell).

Maybe you're just making too much of it. There will ALWAYS be people who will do annoying things to us in life, how you wanna react to it is YOUR choice.

I say just let it go. You should be so happy that she LOVES your son and is EXCITED about being a grandma!! Just think, it could be worst! She could totally hate you and resent your son's presence, but that's not the case!!

I know it's hard to ignore the stuff that annoys us, but is it really worth it? Is this really an issue you want to 'fight tooth and nail' over?? Is this something you wanna "die on a hill" for?? Probably not. Save your energy for the big deals in life.

Best of luck to you.

Hi Monica:
Your going to get responses,from both sides of the fence. Those who share your resentment or less than ideal relationship with their MIL,and those who offer advice,that will be of help to you. Beverly said it the best.She offered An honest,heartfelt response.Monica,I'm going to tell you straight. If you felt more secure in your capabilities as a mother,you wouldn't even be bothered with such a comment.You recent her calling your child,(Her baby) because you worry about your child and his Grandmother feeling A closer bond than you share with him. You take what she says literally,when the comment is meant as one of endearment.When she says My Baby,or OUR Baby,its meant as (Our Special Baby) A Child who's (THE ENTIRE FAMILIES) A child needs all the love they can get. You and his father will always be number one in his eyes,but AS HIS MOTHER, it should be only natural,that you want him to be loved by ALL. Stop nit picking,and taking her feelings of admiration towards her Grandson,as a threat to your motherhood,and you'll have A family bond,that's not only healthy for your child but your relationship with your husband.I wish you all the best. J. M

So much resentment...where there should be warmth and mutual caring.

From a mother-in-law; with all due respect, someday you will understand why she called your son her baby. Being a new parent is a most awesome thing...being a grandparent is even more wonderful. All the love you felt for your own child is repeated in this miracle of another life from the life you gave. The love is instant, overwhelming. Yes, we know who is Momma, it is respected. We only hope that you will let us be a part of your lives.

There is a richness to life when multiple generations live in peace and share the care of each other and the children. Someday she may be there for you when you have great need, someday you may be there for her when she reaches out her hand in need. Family can be everything to each other.

Please be kind to her and say "our baby" is doing great.

[hugs] to you all.

Well I would say she should fully understand at this point, you don't like her calling him your baby. If that is all she is doing, let it go. There are plenty of worse things a MIL could be doing or saying. I say you are lucky if that is all that annoys you. And if that is not all of it, I say let that just be one of the small things you let go and enjoy life.

i would just tell her that you dont like her calling your son her baby. tell her to please find a different nickname for your son. how does your husband react to this? it is important that you stand on the same ground with the issues. my mil (whom we live with) tells people how she and her husband support my daughter financially and how she gets her ready in the mornings on her days off. which is bogus!. my husband and i rarely ask them for money and if we do its not for my daughter because she is our first priority. also she has gotten my daughter out of bed 2 times in her LIFE and both times were without my our my husbands permission and she was told not to do that anymore that we will get our child up when we are ready or if she is crying. she said that she was crying and i was like bs because i have a monitor in her room and its up high in my room i can hear her move on it so theres no way in hell i slept through her crying. his mom got defensive but i dont care thats my child my rules and even though we may live with them they should respect us as parents. good luck mils are something else. mine is currently boycotting us moving out of state because its their right as grand parents to see our daughter whenever they please... oh PAAAALEEASE!!

I love what Julia and Beverly wrote.. I attempted to respond a few times yesterday but couldn't find the words. They nailed it.

I often call my good friends, children, "My baby" but it's all out of love. How is my little baby doing? Is that my little baby crying? Etc.. These aren't my babies, (I have my own! LOL) but I say this because I care deeply about them.

When I read your christmas card dilema and now your current dilema, all I could think was how lucky you are. Like Julia said, you will find people on both sides of the fence here, that is what makes Mamasource so great, you can take it all in and then make a decision that works for you.

I for one would love to have a MIL or even my own Mother for that matter, want to make a Christmas card of my kids and/or call and ask how their babies are doing (both will NEVER happen). )-:

My guess is there is something bigger going on between you and MIL.
Best wishes,
M.

I wish my MIL would treat my kids as her "babies." Better too be over loved than ignored. Be grateful that she loves your son. It's not a competion. You will always be his irreplaceable mommy and it's OK for him to love his grandma too. this one battle not worth picking. In time she might develop a new nickname, just let it go.

I would not worry about it, he is her baby but your man!!!

If she is calling you she must love you too... I wish I had that good fortune.

My Dad always said choose your battles, only fight for the really important stuff. I would just let her have this one and be glad she cares about you guys.

Good Luck,
Jeanne (SAHM of two boys 2yrs and 6 months)

Hi Monica, she probabbly doesn/t mean any disrespect to you, I say they same things to my daycare parents, how's my baby doing or my little girl/little boy, or some times I'll say our, but they don't mind, they don't look at that as disrespect. J. L.